Rejoice my readers, for I have returned! I am back from a week away at camp and at home for the time being. Note, however, that updates will be slow going after this Saturday, as there's a bit of a family crisis going on right now in my world. :-(

Still, the long- awaited fourth story of the Second Series is here! Yaysies!

I don't own Kid Icarus. Thanks to Konpeki Rei for proofreading this.

And here's Pitty!

Chapter 1

Trust Me, I'm a Doctor

Confession time: I'm not very attractive first thing in the morning. Take today, for example. After I got out of bed, I shuffled my way down the hall towards the kitchen. Scratching my butt, I opened the freezer and looked for my breakfast.

"Um, Pit?" a woman asks slowly.

"Not now, Lady Palutena. I need some waffles," I yawn.

"Pit, look at me. This is serious."

"GIVE ME A MINUTE!" I yell angrily.

"Now Pit, I really think you should turn around. It's rude to not greet your guests," chirps a new voice. I spin around. Sitting at the table is a teenage girl with short blonde hair, a blue scarf, and an electrifying aura.

"Ph- Phosphora?" I stutter, spitting out my orange juice. She giggles. I peer at myself. My hands cover up my crotch instinctively. Of all the times I decide to only wear boxers and a tank top as pajamas...

Phosphora just laughs even more. "You're turning red! Aw, do you know just how cute you look when you blush?"

"Don't fl- flirt with me!" I stutter in reply. "I'm dating Viridi!"

At the mention of my girlfriend's name, however, the female warrior grows sullen. "Right. This really is important, Pit. I need you to pay attention."

It's rare to hear Phosphora being so serious. She's usually very upbeat and teasing. Something bad must be going on. Something horrible.

"OK, I'm calm. What's wrong?" I ask, sitting down across from her.

She sighs. "Viridi... Viridi's sick. Like, super sick."

I gasp. "What? What happened?"

Phosphora bites her lip. "It's the humans. Whenever their pollution gets too out of hand and nature begins to die, Viridi is the one that is affected. Since she's, you know, the Goddess of Nature. Now, usually when this happens, she sends out a Reset Bomb to the problem area and kills the humans. But because of you-" she glares at me, "-there aren't any left, and so now we can't cure her."

"Vri..." I moan, burying my face in my hands. "My poor Vri... you're sick and it's all my fault!"

"You better believe it, bub," Phosphora says snarkily.

Palutena comes over and pats my back. "Finish your breakfast, Pit. Then you can go to her. I'm sure she won't be angry at you. You didn't know."

I nod slowly. I only manage to eat about four bites of food before getting out of my chair and dashing back to my room to throw on some clothes. I'm back in the kitchen in less than five minutes.

I look to the blonde. "Let's go." I take off running towards the sky.

. . .

Minutes later I'm at the Nature Temple. I land and barge through the front door. "Viridi!" I call as I scan the building.

A figure appears from the shadows. "Ah, young master Pit. How good to see you again."

"Arlon," I say. "Hi. Listen, I kinda need to-"

"-find Mistress Viridi? Of course. She's in her chambers," the butler- esque man finishes. He motions down the hall. "Right this way."

I thank him and run towards the room he's gesturing to. "Viridi!" I yell as I open the door.

The bedroom makes me pause. It's shaped like a normal sleeping area- four green and pink walls, several windows- but some of the decor is jaw- dropping. Instead of a bedside table, a tree stump stands next to the four- poster, and flowers are growing underfoot.

"Pit?" answers a female voice groggily. I look to the queen- sized mattress and spot a humanoid size and shape lump.

"Vri," I sigh, sprinting into the chair next to the bed. I sit down in it and stare at the girl before me. "Vri... oh my gosh, you look horrible."

And she does. Her hair is plastered onto her forehead by sweat. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are puffy. She's trembling, too.

"Gee, thanks. You look fantastic, too," she coughs back sarcastically. Well, at least her mind isn't sick.

I grab her hand. "I'm sorry. Phosphora explained to me why you're not getting better. It's all my fault. I'm sorry."

Viridi gives a small smile. "Pitty... it's OK. I forgive you. Don't kick yourself over this."

Stroking her hair off of her face, I say to her, "You're going to get healthy again. I know you will. I'll make sure of it!"

"You always have been determined to help everyone. But face it Pit, unless the humans clean up the planet- and fast- I'm gonna be ill for a long time."

"No! Don't think that! I'm going to cure you!" I protest.

She rolls her eyes. "You cure me Pit, and I'll grant you the ability to fly on your own."

My eyes pop out for a second. "Really?" I ask excitedly.

She giggle, just a little bit. "Yeah, because I know you can't do it. No one can fully heal your wings. No one." Then she yawns. "I'm getting kinda... kinda sleepy..."

I fluff her pillow and brush my fingers over her cheek. "Then rest. I'm gonna go make you feel better. By the time I get back, you'll be on your feet and back to normal."

"I highly doubt that. But still... thank you for coming."

I grin. "Of course I came. You're my girlfriend, Vri."

She laughs then gapes once more. "And you're my boyfriend, Pitty." With that, she rolls over and begins to snore. I stand over her, looking down and thinking.

"I mean it, Viridi. I'm gonna cure you. I promise it. I swear it. Because I'll do anything for you," I whisper.

I walk to the door, but before I exit, I look at the goddess one more time. "And I'll do anything for the ability to fly."

End Chapter 1

*facepalms* What did I just do? Now everybody's going to expect for Piridi to reach second base.

Ah crap.

Well, maybe Pit will. Or maybe he'll fail horribly and Viridi will die. All depends on my mood, for I CONTROL THEIR LIVES! MWA- HA- HA!

I kid. She won't die. I can't kill people in my stories. I've tried, but I just can't.

On a slightly related note, I totally imagined that Pit was acting like the "Challenge Accepted" guy when Viridi said he couldn't cure her.

Stay tuned for what happens next!

ATTENTION! My better judgement has made me change the plot so that if Pit is successful in his quest to heal Viridi, he will be able to fly on his own, not get a boob touch. I AM NOT REVERSING THIS CHANGE. IT IS FINAL. Any and all reviews/ comments about how you want him to get to second base will be deleted. Do not PM me about it, either. I am, however, a nice person (in some ways), so I will one day (in a few months) write a short side story called "Second Base." Do with that what you will. Until then, N00dl3gal out!