CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILORS! RUN AWAY IF YOU HAVEN'T READ CITY OF LOST SOULS LEST YOU WISH TO BE SADEND FOREVER!

This is after Alec and Magnus...Dare I say it...Break up... And the months...Years, that follow, and what it did to him.

But anyway, I wrote this after I got over my " This can't be happening stage.

Alec stumbled home, a kind numb silence in his head. He grappled for the last time he and Magnus spent together, but The Memory kept coming back, sneaking its way into the happy memories. Kissing Magnus before the battle, turned into Magnus pushing him away, and leaving. The first time they had sex, turned into Alec dropping something on the floor, and Magnus picking up the witch light, and walking away.

" Alec, your back, you'll never guess what is happening with Jace!" Alec numbly pushed past his sister, trying to walk up the stairs. His sister followed him with her gaze, and asked softly,

" Alec? Are you alright?" He nodded vigorously, and tripped up the stairs. He crawled down the long hallways of his home. No, the place that held him here to the earth, that he had lived in, but was no home to him. He would never again have a home. Not without...Alec shook his head. He couldn't even bring himself to say the name.

He collapsed on his bed, sobbing after he firmly locked the door. His life had ended, and there was nothing anyone could do to tell him other wise. Somethings are just undone. But this, this was his life coming to pieces. The Man ( Magnus) had been his life, had been the thing that had gotten him started. The Man had been the one who gave him courage when he needed it most. The Man was what got him through a day. The Man was what he thought of when he was nervous, what would The Man do? He'd ask himself. But no more. Nothing was left. He screamed. He screamed The Man's name,

" MAGNUS!" Alec cried to the wind. Alec realized he had climbed to the roof, and was at the edge. Alec looked down, realizing he could end it all right there and then. He backed up, he couldn't give The Man the satisfaction of knowing he had been Alec's undoing. But that's what he was. And now? He was gone.

Alec could move on. He knew he could. Or at least, he could try.

Alec sniffed, starting to laugh hysterically.

" I CAN DO IT!" He laughed to the wind, to the city. But in truth, he knew he never could.

So...R&R...It'll continue...later...yeah... I'm going to go be deperssed...Bye.