Hey, guys. It's me, back again with another new story. This is just going to be a two-parter. I've made it as sort of a follow up to my previous story 'Wait, Who?', but it's perfectly fine as a stand-alone. I got the idea for this while talking to Caitlin Rose6, and wrote this up based on it.

I don't own Doctor Who, but this really needs to actually happen!

Jack entered the diner, and immediatly ran into a woman with mad curls and quite the figure. He reached down to help her up

"Hello. Captain Jack Harkness. And you are?"

"River Song" something in that name seemed familiar to him.

"Nice to meet you. Do you, by any chance, know the Doctor?" he asked, thinking it might have been where he'd met her

"Yes, I do. I happen to be his bloody wife!" he gave a small sigh

"Didn't know he had a wife. There go my plans" River slapped him harder than she'd slapped anyone, harder even than the Doctor'd ever recieved. Then she stood for a moment, staring at him.

"I think I have heard of you. 'The stalker who was wrong in so many ways'" she said with a laugh

"Really? He called me that?" he said, a bit upset. He'd helped that man save all of reality!

"Oh, don't worry. It's what he called me on our first date" something nagged Jack at the back of his mind, like there was something familiar here, something he should remember.

"You know, you are the second married girl that I've tried to pick up today. Not knowing they were married, of course"

"Well, I'm not your average married girl" she said, pushing him into the wall and kissing him

"Woah! Wow. Gosh, the Doc would kill me if I did anything. Probably the same with the other one"

"What other one?"

"The other married woman" he said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. They sat down at the nearby booth to get a bite to eat

"Amy, her name was. Amy Pond" River shot up at that.

"MUM?" she cried out

"What?" he looked over the girl with a confused look on his face "But how?"

"Captain, you don't seem the type to need explaining on how that works"

"No, no. I meant... Well, pardon me saying, but you're quite a bit older than she was" he said, a bit scared she would hit him again. Instead she just stared at him for a bit

"Are you sure you traveled with the Doctor?" she asked him. Then, she replied slowly, so that he might be able to understand. "I regenerated" He looked a bit baffled

"Okay, I really don't want to know. Can we go back to talking about how you aren't like normal married women?"

"Oh, captain. I don't think that requires much talking" she said with a smirk, kissing him. He kissed her back, and soon enough they were all-out snogging. That is, they were, until they heard a little cough and looked up to see the Doctor standing there.

"Oh, hello sweetie"

"What do you think you're doing?" he turned to Jack "So going after her mother wasn't enough for you, eh?" River gave a laugh and sighed

"Well technically, he went after his own mother" both men turned and stared at her. Jack was confused, but the Doctor was thinking, and it was clear soon enough that he understood

"Get it now, Sweetie?" she asked. He nodded, and backed off a bit. Jack cleared his throat

"Can someone please explain what's going on here?"

"Simple," River replied "I wouldn't cheat on my husband with anyone other than myself" Jack stared for a bit and started choking

"Let me get this straight. You're telling me that so far today,I've hit on my mum, make my dad jealous, and snogged myself?"

"Yes. Oh! This is yours. I believe this is the point I was told to give it to you" she reached into her pocket and pulled out a fob watch, and tossed it to him. "Open it"

"Now?" He asked. Half of him was thinking this was a very bad idea, while the other half seemed drawn to it. "Oh well. What harm can a watch do?" He asked. He opened the watch