Heeey people! Just something really random I wrote.

The Dracula's have finally worked out how to use the internet and are emailing the writers with complaints and thanks, well Vlad is thanking people. This is a series of letters from members of the cast so just get on and read it!

Check out this promo for my other fic, remove the spaces and off you go!

http: / /watch?v=2Woe_vHL9Fo

Chapter One – Zoltan

Dear fan fiction writers,

Do not ask me how I wrote this, I am a hellhound and have access to many things even if I can't hold a pen. (Basically I wrote it for him, Vlad )

I am slightly offended at how I am left out of everything; I have noticed that I only appear in about one sentence per fan fiction and would very much like this to change.

Also I am NOT a dog, I am a HELLHOUND and do not appreciate being associated with those feeble minded animals though I do have a love for steak.

About my Masters and others…:

Renefield: I have not seen anything on this subject yet but I wish to avoid it. He is a brainless animal and is before the mind wipe was removed he was constantly searching for my batteries to turn me off; perhaps it would be kind if someone wrote about him falling off a balcony.

Ingrid: A very cruel and evil Mistress, I do not enjoy hearing stories about how she was cruel to me.

Vlad: A charming young Master but with slight personality problems, I did not appreciate having my neck twisted round and strongly advise no one writes about gaining grievous injuries off him remember I did used to be with a pack of hellhounds that would tear people to pieces.

The Count: Nothing on this subject, he generally ignores me except to ask the odd question.

Wolfie: I share a slight kinship with this boy as he is a wolf, a distant relation of the hellhound. He tends to feed me steak when I am hungry, please write about steak.

Thank you for reading my comments.

Yours truly Zoltan.

When the letter arrives:

"Isn't a hellhound a type of dog?" One writer asks.

"Yes, and about this story we could do about Renefield falling off a balcony, I have such great plans!" laughs another writer who looks, sounds and acts freakishly like the Count bounds away rubbing his hands together gleefully.

The third writer, not in the best frame of mind says "Was that a threat? Was That A THREAT? Did A dog just threaten me? Pah! He cannot stop me writing, I will make more stories of his torment!

There is a barking at the door, the third writer flees screaming loudly about dogs.