A/N: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR VOTES AT THE INDIE CAMP ROCK AWARDS! I'm so lucky to have won and done so wonderfully in my first year!
I took home:
Best Jason/Tess (Electra Heart)
Best Tess (Electra Heart)
Best Nate (Last Train Home)
Best Caitlyn (Seconds)
Best Romance (Camper's Catalog)
Best Angst (Seconds)
Best All-Time Story (Last Train Home)
Best One-Shot (Barefoot CinderElla)
and Best Breakout Author! And I know I couldn't have done it without you!
Thank you so much to Anna, Beth, and Logan for helping me with this fic [even though Anna detests Jess] This Quad is based of a series of videos done by Marina and the Diamonds. This is the last installment of the series and it's entitled "Primadonna", which is actually the song that inspired this series. While the lyrics do not actually effect the story, if you actually read them I'm sure you will see Tess as well.
(May)
The crowd roared as the final notes of Radioactive floated through the air and Tess stood at the edge of the stage, hands in the air and her eyes closed, soaking in this moment. It felt good to be alive again, to hear her name chanted by the fans, to stay up late and wake up early just share what you created. Thessaly Irene Tyler loved everything about touring. Slowly lowering her hands and looking around the crowd, Tess raised the mic to her lips as she walked across the stage.
"I want to take a moment and thank all of you here with me tonight." The crowd gave another ear drum bursting cheer and she grinned. "Many of you know that this the exact same stage I gave my first performance on all those years ago, and this is a really special moment for me to be back here and be back on my game." The crowd picked up again and Tess laughed into the microphone. "I can't even begin to describe to you how amazing it feels to be standing in front of you all again! My new fans, my old fans, even people who just came because they might think a certain guitarist might take the stage with me."
Another round of deafening screams went off as Tess winked to Jason off stage. She laughed and wagged a finger. "Not yet you don't," She crossed the stage and picked up a plastic crown, placing it on her head, she smiled widely. "My little Primadonnas!" A furry of phone flashes and cellphones glowing lit up the stadium, and Tess sat on one of the steps. "I know, right? We've been waiting forever for the right fan base name, and well... here it is!" Tess shrugged and the crowd laughed along with her. She cleared her throat and a hush swept over the crowd.
"This song is talking about the girl I used to be. Someone who was shallow and very superficial. Not to say that I'm not still a little bit of a Primadonna, but I've learned had to work for it a little bit more." She laughed, bouncing her knees and adjusting the crown on her head. "It's also a song about acknowledging your faults and there's also a little bit of shame and innocence in it too." She tucked piece of hair behind her ear. "Oh hell, it just represents who I am and who I was." Tess gave a belly of a laugh and the crowd cheered as the music started up again.
"Primadonna girl, yeah,All I ever wanted was the world" Tess held a hand up, blocking her face from the light and stood from the stairs. "I can't help that I need it all. The primadonna life, the rise and fall." Her face the perfect portrayal of innocence as she slowly walked forward, her voice almost child like as she sang the next line. "You say that I'm kinda difficult. But it's always someone else's fault." A sly grin spread across her face as she twirled a piece of hair around her finger. "Got you wrapped around my finger, babe. You can count on me to misbehave"
Dr. Helen Talbolt waved her sign and sang along with the rest of the crowd, Tess was definitely doing well.
Primadonna girl,
Would you do anything for me?
Buy a big diamond ring for me?
Would you get down on your knees for me?
Pop the pretty question right now, baby
Beauty queen on a silver screen
Living life like I'm in a dream
I know I've got a big ego
I really don't know why it's such a big deal, though
(July)
"Have just one, it wont kill you." I look at the beer that Sander's offered to me and I shake my head. I knew that I could never have just one.
"Thanks, but I better be safe than sorry." I said, taking a towel from Dana and patting my face down. The crowd gave me more of a buzz than any amount of alcohol could. If only I could bottle that up and use it on a rough day.
"Well, I'm glad to see you're fixed." Andy stated, taking a drink of his own beer before wrapping an arm around a very pregnant Caitlyn Dodds.
"I'm not fixed." The room goes silent and I feel my skin crawl. "It's not something that can be repaired. I struggle every day, but knowing that I have my life to look forward too make it easier."
"Doesn't Jason making things a little bit easier?" Dana teased, taking the towel back and throwing it into one of the hampers that Ella had bought for the tour bus. I smiled softly, shaking my head.
"Of course he does, but I can't rely just on him. I'll never be able to love him like he deserves if I can't love myself." I sigh happily, wiping my make-up off slowly.
The occupants of the room slowly began to chatter again, obviously pleased with my answer. My phone dings from it's spot on the counter and my heart leaps into my throat as Jason's name flashes on the screen.
It's just a simple "Caught the show on TV, you were amazing. Love you." But it means so much. I still think it's unbelievable that he loves me. Jason Allen Gray loves me.
I don't need a heavy diamond ring on my finger to prove that, not like I once did. I can feel it in my heart. The way everything suddenly feels lighter when he walks in the room, my day becomes a little more exciting, and I just can't stop smiling.
I had thought that I knew what love was.
I've sung hundreds of song proclaiming love, written thousands more, but I was really clueless.
Love wasn't about getting everything you wanted.
It's about falling in love with the same person every day, finding that little quirk that irritates you one minute and then adore the next, using their shampoo because you're out of your own. All those little thing make love special to me, and it feels marvelous.
(Ooh) And I'm sad to the core, core, core
(Yeah) Every day is a chore, chore, chore
(Wow) When you give, I want more, more, more
I wanna be adored
'Cause I'm a primadonna girl, yeah
All I ever wanted was the world
I can't help that I need it all
The primadonna life, the rise and fall
You say that I'm kinda difficult
But it's always someone else's fault
Got you wrapped around my finger, babe
You can count on me to misbehave
(September)
"And the winner of Best Female Pop Video goes to..." My throat tightens and I can hardly feel Jason's grip on my hand anymore. "Tess Tyler with Primadonna!" Leaping to my feet, I find myself engulfed in a hug from Jason before being ushered to the stage. Taking the Moon Man in my hands, I take a shaky breath.
"Whoa, just whoa." Tears cloud my eyes and I try and fan them back. "Thi-this really means a lot to me guys. It took a whole lot of something to put your faith in me and this new music that I was all about, but man, has it been worth it!" I ramble squeezing the trophy in my hand, I'm still not sure if this was all real or not. "I'd like to thank Helen, Brown, the Gray family, everyone at the label, Jason, and the fans! God, I could not have done this with out you!"
Taking another breath, I hold the award in the air. "This one is for all of you, my Primadonnas. I want you all to know. For those of you that have been lost, hurt, scared, and still searching... it is never too late. Never give up, never back down from who you are or who you want to be. This award is for all of you to tell you that you can make it too."
Mitchie stands first, clapping wildly. Followed by Nate, Shane, Caitlyn and Andy, Sander and Dana. But the wide grin that's on Jason's face means more to me than any title that I could win.
For the first time in a long time, I start to feel whole again.
Primadonna girl fill the void up with Celluloid
Take a picture, I'm with the boys
Get what I want 'cause I ask for it
Not because I'm really that deserving of it
Living life like I'm in a play
In the lime light, I want to stay
I know I've got a big ego
I really don't know why it's such a big deal, though
(November)
"So one day, we're going to be married." It not a question, but it hangs heavily in the air as Jason voices it. I can't breath and the cup in my hand trembles. Jason continues to load the dishwasher, his back facing me and I feel a cowardly thankfulness that he can't see me. "Not now, maybe not any time soon, but one day." Again, it's a statement, like something he knows will come in to fruition.
"I'd like that." It comes so naturally that I almost don't believe that I've said it out loud. He looks over his shoulder and smiles at me, that one look that he reserves just for me and I feel the corners of my mouth start to rise in response. "But I'm still scared." I admit quietly, tapping the rim of my tea cup.
Jason abandons his post at the sink, laying his hands around mine and placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.
"I know, and that's fine for now." He removes one of his hands from mine and sweeps his thumb across my cheek, blood rising to the surface almost immediately. "You need your own space, you're still trying to figure out what to do and who you are. I get that." My spring to my eyes and I feel just the slightest bit of embarrassment of how easily Jason makes me forget myself. "But I just want you to think about it, of our future."
"It's all I think about sometimes." I confess, shifting in my chair under his watch. Sighing, I lean into the palm of his hand, just resting there for a minute. "I hate making you wait like this." Jason laughs and moves to my side of the counter, pulling me close to his chest.
"Tess, I'll wait as long as it takes. Knowing that I have you here in my arms, knowing that you love me, that's enough for right now." Jason places a feather light kiss on my jaw line and my heart-beat speeds up just slightly. "You'll always be worth waiting for, Tess."
He holds my face in his hands, slowly brushing his thumbs on my cheeks, softly pressing his lips to mine. The taste of him is almost intoxicating and it makes me wonder how I could have walked away from this before. The heady feeling as his fingers tangle into the roots of my hair, the slight stinging sensation as his teeth nip on lips only to be soothed away again. He only gives me a teasing grin at my whine when he backs away, taking my hand and placing a gentle kiss on my knuckles while leaning on the counter.
And it hits me, how easy it all feels. And I can see it clear as day.
I see us like this. Drinking tea, watching bad movies, doing dishes together and having moments exactly like this one.
In love, happy, in each others arms for years from now. It's what I want, and I can see myself there with Jason. It's been Jason the whole time and I had been just too blind to see it. And I know that it'll take time and effort to reach that point, but I finally feel worthy of Jason because I can see that future for us too. I know that I deserve that future as much as he does, and what's more, I deserve to have it with him.
I'm not so scared of the future anymore because I know what it will hold and the answer is so simple.
My future will always have Jason.
(Ooh) Going up, going down, down, down
(Yeah) Anything for the crown, crown, crown
(Wow) With the lights dimming down, down, down
I spin around
'Cause I'm a primadonna girl, yeah
All I ever wanted was the world
I can't help that I need it all
The primadonna life, the rise and fall
You say that I'm kinda difficult
But it's always someone else's fault
Got you wrapped around my finger, babe
You can count on me to misbehave
(January)
"... some are calling it the engagement of the decade. Singer, Tess Tyler, and Connect Three member, Jason Gray, have never been quite about their relationship. They got together sometime after Tess's very public stint in rehab. It's said that the guitarist helped Tyler through the emotional time in her life and they even rekindled the spark that they once had when they were teenagers. The two have taken America's hearts by surprise and have won many people over.
While their relationship has been far from perfect, we're pleased to say that the couple appears to be relatively normal. We expect the wedding to match it's featured guest. Most are predicting a small chapel wedding with only a few friends and family. My personal bet is on a court house wedding and huge party.
But down to the detail you really want to know...
It's said that Tyler actually made a custom bird house for Gray's birthday, and Mister Gray proposed soon after that. Tess has been shown all over town with a modest diamond on her finger, something well with in the average person's price range, but the band detail was custom designed by Gray himself. The silver is actually shaped to be intertwining branches, form what might be a small nest to hold the diamond.
Tyler has been known to say
Quote 'I've never been so happy in my entire life... Jason is a truly amazing man, and I make sure to remind myself of that everyday. I'm lucky to have him...'
I guess dreams still do come true out here in Hollywood.
This is Renee Wright, signing off"
Primadonna girl, yeah
All I ever wanted was the world
I can't help that I need it all
The primadonna life, the rise and fall
You say that I'm kinda difficult
But it's always someone else's fault
Got you wrapped around my finger, babe
You can count on me to misbehave
Primadonna girl
(The End)