Disclaimer: Nope, just a fanfiction writer. I would be richer, if I did.
Story: He doesn't tolerate failure and he knows he failed the Avatar. He's too prideful to admit it to anyone else, but he offers recompense in the dark of the night. Korra is allowed to use him, but they just end up being more messed up.
Set after episode 1x05 "The Spirit of Competition", but is a playback to 1x04 "The Voice in the Night".
Spoilers: To the latest episode maybe.
Warnings: Just in case…Cursing and violence for now…hm, just in case since I'm usually writing it, bit of crazy humor, perverted humor, morbid or sarcastic humor, and maybe some sexual situations…
Pairings: Korrlok, implied one-sided Makorra, implied one-sided Borra, and Pemzin with a mention of past Linzin.

I Don't Have to Exist Outside Here
Chapter One: He's an Image

Her lips are soft. They're pliant under his and strangely obedient coming from this sassy girl. She doesn't move away and he takes the encouragement as what it was, permission to continue. He runs his hands slowly down her sides, dragging his fingers passed the fabric of her clothes. She aggressively pushes up against him and kisses him harder, taking the initiative to start unbuttoning his shirt.

He is used to manipulating people and having control in his hands.

But for the night, he will allow himself to submit and let her have all the power in this room.

It's a strange thought. Like he mentioned, he's the one with the control and manipulation. But tonight, he would let this girl use him, manipulate him for her own means.

(He doesn't care for weakness, so he won't ever admit part of this whole thing is because she somehow became his.)

She bites at his bottom lip and he kisses her back gently in remindful response. She pulls back slightly and kisses his neck briefly in apology, silently telling him that she's trying not to take out all her anger and frustration on him.

(Tarrlok would allow it, if she did, because he silently promised her anything for tonight –maybeforeverhedoesn'tknowdoesn'tcare)

He manages to unclip her hair and let it fall loosely in waves, like the water they share, love, need…The moon is shining and fills them with a sort of energy, and it makes them both feel somehow sort of lighter. The bed is welcoming and she leads them to it and he follows. It is her show. It is about what she wants. His hands are metaphorically tied –he may be a politician and he knows how to play the crowd and speak with a silver tongue…but he has his own code of honor to follow and he breaks it for no one.

(He considers Korra and wonders if that might apply to her too, and he doesn't know because she seems to tests all his boundaries.)

All his clothing seems to disappear as he thinks, and his hands have not been idle in his thoughts. They're both bare to each other, chocolate skin meshing together, separating and then coming together again and flawlessly melding as if they were one. Her eyes are wide open and staring unashamedly at him; they're so clear, a crystallized blue that reminds him of the powder blue shade. Do they match with his? He wants to know how much they match, if only the brown of their hair, the chocolate shade of their skin can meld together and if their eyes would make a prettier shade as the colors mixed together…

A hand has snuck behind his back and impatiently, but at least gently, tugs on one of his ponytails and he kisses her quickly, before she can decide she wants to ask him what he was thinking about.

(Would they look good together?)

He's too hard to be patient and usually he does little tricks and methods that would allow him to hurry things and curry it to his favor, with all his other past bed partners. He doesn't this time and waits as patiently as he could on the bed as she explores his body. He knows she's never done this before and that this is a privilege she is eager and curious to finally fully take advantage of and fulfill all her little questions and clear up or confirm any prior notions.

(It's hard, so very hard to simply lay languish there and not do anything but teasingly brush his fingers back and forth against her kneeling thighs as she hovers over him and her talented fingers dance across his skin and tease areas and caress others and dearLadidshejustsqueeze –

He draws in a sharp breath, but watches hypnotically as she experimentally lifts and examines it. A fingertip hesitantly strokes, and he shivers violently. Her shivering at his prior brushes against her thighs are nothing to the shudders he reflexively gives at her investigational touches.

He's a prideful man, pride that partly got him into this situation in the first place, so he refuses to admit the vulnerabilities she is drawing from him to her. But she's been watching and still is, and knows now she has some kind of effect on him and it excites her. She's more than a little curious about it, but right now isn't the place for questions. Instead, she bodily lifts him up slightly and turns him a little as she slides underneath him.

He blinks in confusion at the change in position, even as he's bewildered and embarrassed that such a smaller and younger girl could so easily lift him. But then she's forcibly pulling him down to her and capturing his lips, and he's pushing back though he's not fighting. Her lean, beautiful legs lift up and clasped around his waist, and she moves her hips up, slightly nudging into him in offering. He breathes in deeply and cradles her head in his hands, making her look at him.

(She's young, abrasive, cocky and precocious, but he can admit to at least himself that he likes her precociousness.)

Tarrlok kisses her and closes his eyes, knowing hers are wide open. He thrusts in and he hears a sharp hiss in his ear; his kisses her again and she just rolls her hips against his in answer. It's delightful and he throws his head back with a sigh.

She's inexperienced and young, but she catches on quickly and learns the movements just as easily as her natural talents with three of the four elements.

(He has a hard time accepting that she's also learning all his little ticks and favorite spots and places that make him crumble so easily…)

She seeks out his mouth and takes his lips again, just as their hips start moving more rhythmically. He wonders if it's so strange that they instinctively start to move like the tides?

He pulls back and she follows; she moves away and he's seeking her. They move sensually back and forth in a slow rhythm, ash gray eyes staring into powder blue, and their breaths are intermingling.

(He seems to enjoy pursuing her; it seems it's one thing after the other, and he continually chases after her.)

Her nails dig into his back and she bucks up against him harshly. Though he'd promised she has the reigns, he can't help but thrust back roughly back in response. He sees a small grin flit across her face at that, and he doesn't have long to contemplate that because she's upping the pace and he adjusts to match her. The way they're moving now, they're both reminded of tidal waves and they're crashing into each other.

They move faster and it's so close to peaking, both of them murmuring to each other in their native tribal language. But Tarrlok doesn't want to end it just yet; this is his only time, his only moment with the Avatar. He'll chase her regardless, but this will probably be the only time she'll ever reciprocate.

(He's disappointed and wishful for more time, and wishes he could draw this out for as long as he could keep her with him, for just a moment longer someone please.)

Korra clenches around him and he cums.

She follows.

(This whole time he's above her, the one topping, but the truth is she's the one deciding and controlling everything from beneath him.)

He pulls out of her and hovers above her for a second as they stare quietly at each other. He brushes back a sweaty strand of hair from her face, and her eyes flutter close briefly. He tentatively moves and lays his head on her bosom, listening to her heart as he holds onto her in a feather-like hold with his hands. She wraps her own arms around him more surely and holds onto him much more tighter.

For a moment, they lay there like that, almost lost in time and like a calm ocean under the still shining moon.

The illusion breaks as she moves him back and slips from under him, not looking at him as she gathers her clothes silently and gets up from the bed after. She lightly cards her hand through his unbound hair momentarily, eyes still averted, and she kisses his cheek once before getting up and leaving him behind in the now suffocating room. She hasn't even bothered to dress first and the door closes behind her with a click of finality.

He leans back and stares up at the ceiling, moving only to shift the covers up further his body, trying to keep away the now converging cold and the rapidly leaving warmth of the bed.

He isn't sure whether or not the cold is physical.

The lights are still on. He leaves the backroom and sees the Avatar pacing furiously in front of her desk. The mounds of paperwork assigned to her are piling again, and he mentally makes a note that he'll have to tackle some of it himself. He likes structure and order in his workplace, and knows that some of those documents are most probably important…

He largely ignores the snide voice ridiculing him and accusing him of favoritism and attachment.

"You did wonderfully tonight," he speaks up, complimenting her on her performance at the pro-bending match that night.

Tarrlok isn't a fan and doesn't watch it, but she came on it and he admits to dabbling in it now and then when it involves her.

He sees she's startled and Korra looks up abruptly to see him.

"Oh. Tarrlok. I'm sorry; I just needed a place to think. I'll go," she says awkwardly to him.

He preens a little, because she addresses him so familiarly and he likes that she does so casually.

"It's alright, you are the…part-time deputy of the force," his lips twitch a little in amusement and hers does too. She is absent a lot for her role. "You are allowed entry into the headquarters whenever you wish. I'm sorry if I was interrupting –I just got done with some late work and was about to leave."

"Well, aren't you a dedicated workaholic," she says nonchalantly, raising an eyebrow at him as she places her hands on shapely hips smartly. "And you aren't interrupting. I was just…" Korra frowns heavily before sighing and running a hand through her hair. "Venting," she finishes lamely.

He moves forward and sits on the edge of her desk, only an arm's length away from her.

"Frustrated?" he murmurs.

She scoffs. "Yes and no. Hell, if I know. Maybe a little."

"Do you want to talk?"

"No," she answers shortly, before wincing. "Not that it's because of you or anything…thinking about it is just raising my hackles right now though."

He nods and she goes back to their original topic.

"Thanks for the compliment," she embarrassedly mentions. "And it helps that you let me take a break so I could focus a lot on practicing for the tournament. So thanks for that too."

He shrugs, knowing it didn't befit his station, but the action seemed to amuse and even make her relax more around him. He makes note of this.

Tarrlok really can't help cataloguing things.

"It really was quite beautiful," he says softly, gaze far off. "Your movements were fluid and yet sharp. The three of you had been doing so badly and yet you managed to do such an awe-inspiring save in the end. It was…breathtaking to watch."

It's flattery and it's something he's so good at…but this time, he's a little too lost in thoughts, a little too loose with his mouth, and a little less mindful of himself, so that a little flattery somehow becomes just a little bit more.

"Thank you," she breathes out, staring at him with wide eyes.

He snaps out of it and carves a polite smile on his mouth for her. Her look of question and some strange gaze of awe (like she's never seen him before or maybe she's seeing him differently right now) makes him feel uneasy.

"You know…it really does help to talk," he offers again, and she looks uncertain but then considering. She ends up shrugging like him, but it looks more natural or less strange on her than it had on him. She plops herself right next to him on her desk and frowns heavily.

"Have you…have you ever liked a boy –"

At his look, she holds up her hands and grins apologetically.

"Girl, girl I mean!" she laughs a bit. "Have you ever liked a girl and they're with someone else? But you decide to confess anyway and they end up rejecting you."

He hmms and wonders if he should make something up, as only the reverse situation is what usually happens with him. He decides to be honest. He tells her that he can't accept a girl's confession if he doesn't return their affection; it would be rather cruel to lead them on. He is arrogant and self-conceited, and knowledge that there's no shortage of women confessing strokes his ego –but he doesn't lead any woman on. He makes his wants and expectations very clear from the beginning.

Tarrlok doesn't tell her all that though. She doesn't need to know that and it's more information than she's asking for. So he simply says that in the end, the boy she likes may simply be trying to be kind and not give her false hopes.

Then she tells him the boy she likes likes her back, but he's confused and doesn't know and likes the girl he's with at the same time too.

Oh.

Well, that makes things more complicated.

"And she's really pretty too…" she sighs. "I can see why he likes her. She's elegant, beautiful, and rich. And she's nice too, so it makes it really hard to dislike her."

"Perhaps she is, though I'm of the mind that you're elegant in your own way and I believe you're much more beautiful and exotic than the women here," he says it smoothly, but the reality is that he hadn't meant to speak all that or express his opinion so forwardly.

She seems to bring out the awkwardness and clumsiness out of him, and he neither likes himself like that or admitting that it happens.

Korra is looking at him differently again and he tries to bring back the conversation before he makes it more awkward again.

"Then he is making a choice, and I would say a foolish choice. I would have chosen you," and Tarrlok utterly fails at that and wonders if perhaps he might've gotten drunk at some point and just hadn't noticed.

But she laughs loudly and slaps her thigh in amusement, grinning at him with delight. However, her eyes hide the gratefulness he still catches and he's inwardly a little glad for his foolishness for the moment.

So he decides to continue while he's at it, and maybe try to mold it into a joke. "But perhaps I'm a little biased with my Water Tribeman's roots."

She laughs again and he's tempted to join in on her mirth.

"Do you think about Amon?" she asks suddenly, when she calms down.

"Of course. I admit I obsessively try to preplan scenarios and situations where we could run into him, or we might be able to capture him, and ways we can put him down. It would –"

"I don't mean about getting him," she softly interrupts, her gaze directed at the floor.

He looks at her, waiting for her to continue and clarify.

"Do you think about what he can do? I mean, do you ever think about him taking your bending away?"

Tarrlok hesitates, unsure what he has to say to that. "No…I just, I suppose it hasn't quite sunk in. Perhaps I'm just an overconfident fool and thinks it can't happen to him, and so the thought's never crossed."

She doesn't answer, but he glances at her and he can see in her body language that she's thought about Amon taking away her bending.

"Does it scare you?" he asks quietly.

Korra stiffens up and doesn't answer him, so he goes on.

"I don't blame you if it did. It is a scary thought, and even though I've never thought of it, the thought of losing my bending scares me too. This may be a controversial statement, and I swear I do actually truly admire Avatar Aang…but I pity and feel sorry for Fire Lord Ozai," he admits. She looks at him curiously now and he tries to articulate his thoughts. "Imagine, you've lived your whole life with an element as a part of you, as practically an extension of your soul. And then suddenly –it's gone. Part of who you are is gone forever, and there's a gaping hole in your soul. How did Ozai feel when what little warmth in his life was suddenly gone?"

Korra nods in thought. "You know, I don't think people study the teachings of chi and its role in our life anymore. People are less focused about the old teachings, and think a little too much about things outside of them and materials and all this other stuff. Wouldn't they realize that chi is the life force in our bodies? Chi is needed to bend. The very chi that runs through your veins as a life force has integrated this element into the writings of your being. The chi that is dedicated to the bending in a person capable of it…when it's gone, what happens to this person? They had a specific life force rooted for bending, and when it's gone does that mean a portion of their life force has too? Does that make us dying in a sense or even already dead?"

"That was…rather thoughtful and wise," he looks at her appreciatively and a little admirably.

She rolls her eyes, but still looks a little too solemn to be the vivacious girl he is used to.

"I am the Avatar. I didn't pay much attention to the spiritual side of things in my training…but as the Avatar, these thoughts invariably end up running around my head anyways, even more so when past Avatars' memories and thoughts flitter through at times. Especially…" she hesitates.

"Especially Avatar Aang?" he questions gently, but inwardly intensely curious.

"There were times that he wondered whether or not he did the right thing…he'd frequently think back to it and question it…but he never told anyone…" Korra whispered, like she didn't want to expose Aang's thoughts as much as her predecessor had kept them quiet to the day he died.

He stays quiet too, and they'll keep those thoughts of Aang's private and secret between them in respect.

Together, they stay silent and contemplate. When he glances over at her, he sees she's huddled into a semi-ball on the desk, face too serious, and her body tense. All this, from him to Amon and fears of the Equalist leader, to this complication of love, all in combination seems to have been bothering her for awhile and taking a toll on her.

"Do you love him?" he asks abruptly, remembering her more vulnerable form as she walks with Tenzin off of Memorial Aang's Island. He feels a pang of regret and remembers his thoughts of how 'Yes, she's the Avatar, but she was still young and a little girl too,' and that he shouldn't have depended and put so much on her shoulders all at once.

The idea of an Avatar, and one on his side, blinded him and he forgot (forgets) that she is the Avatar but she is Korra too.

He failed the Avatar that night, and not just when he failed to protect her or come to her rescue as he'd surely proclaimed (he always does and his mother and his father and his sister have all told him he gets too overconfident).

Perhaps this is his chance to offer compensation for his shortcomings.

He doesn't like failing and ever since then, he has had the need to do something to pay her back in return. So he looks at her startled face and waits.

"Maybe, I don't know. I don't think so," but her eyes look at him heartbreakingly, and maybe she does a little.

He doesn't tell her that though and merely takes one of her hands.

"You don't have to be alone tonight," he murmurs. "All this stress and grievance piling on top of you, you can relieve tonight as well. If you want to forget this boy for the night…" he brushes his lips against her knuckles as he looks at her straight in her eyes.

"Tonight, I am at your service, Avatar Korra."

Started 5/16/12 –Completed 5/16/12

EDIT 9/1/13: Edited to make the sex non-explicit (taking out words, etc.). Just in case. If that's not enough, then I don't what to do other than chop up this chapter into little pieces XD

A/n: Meeee and my crrrraaacckk paaaiiirrrings~ I know, I know. Another cracky couple. I swear, for once I actually like the canon couples in this fandom –Makorra is sweet and Borra is just adorable –besides, how can you choose right now? I still like crack pairings best though :P And poor Tarrlok, he's so hated right now, even though he's hardly hard any screen time (and what he does have makes him look every bit the politician he's supposed to be aka not good to everyone else). Plus, he's opposite Tenzin, who everyone likes –he doesn't stand a chance with that favoritism, mwahaha. I favor present tense for prologues/first chapters and drabbles, so next chapter should be back to my usual style.

Korrlok relationship is sort of grounded from the Ogata/Hikaru relationship from Pru's "The Relative Value of Things." Very lovely and emotionaly impacted (in a subtle way too) fic. Plus, it helps that there really are parallels in those two relationships (from the attitudes of each person, age gap, personality...). Yeesh.

Review and alert please? (puppy face)