A/N v.2: Purging.

Here's the last part I wasn't sure I was going to write. It took me 3 drafts to get it right, and I had almost no motivation for ages before I wrote the final draft. Many things were going wrong. But then I started it during Study Hall [aka Advisory], and it worked. It's shorter, but it fits, and that's really all I care about. Thanks for sticking with me.

Apparently, Google Translate was stupid and didn't feel like giving me the correct translations for the fic. So even though I tried to make it better, here are the translations:

Ch. 1-Le Seulment Amour Est L'Amour Vrai-The Only Love is True Love
Ch. 2-Amour Mal Compris Est L'Amour Perdu-Love Misunderstood is Love Lost
Ch. 3-De L'Amour, Il Faut Etre Aime-To Love, One Must Be Loved

Reviews, as always, are loved. Please, review? I'm in a bit of a bad spot right now, and reviews would really brighten up my day. :) But even if I don't get any reviews, I'll still upload my fics normally, so there's no obligation. :) Also, to those who fav and alert me and my fics, I love you guys too. Thanks to all of you! And enjoy this chapter. :)

De L'Amour, Il Faut Etre Aimé

Ichigo avoided the bar like the plague for over a month. He knew Kisuke would be there, waiting for him to return. But he couldn't just become Kisuke's sex toy again, couldn't be nothing more than a plaything. He was too far gone for that to happen.

But even though he had shut his mind off to Kisuke, his heart refused to listen. Everywhere he went, Ichigo was reminded of Kisuke. That man had the same shade of hair, that man had that same lazy demeanor, those were the flowers that Kisuke loved best, that was the ramen shop Kisuke adored. No matter how hard he tried, Ichigo couldn't not think of the older man.

The thoughts began to reflect in real life. Ichigo's grades in school began to drop as he fell deeper and deeper into depression. He began avoiding his friends as it became harder and harder to keep up his happy-go-lucky façade. He locked himself in his room for longer periods of time as Kisuke's absence became too hard to bear. Even his father, who was normally so carefree and ignorant, became worried about Ichigo's broodiness.

But Ichigo didn't tell anybody what was bothering him. Who could he tell? Orihime was in love with him, and it would only pain her to know Ichigo loved another. Rukia would offer to pound Kisuke into the dust. Chad would be extremely uncomfortable with the whole topic. Tatsuki would yell at ichigo for falling in love with another person and breaking Orihime's heart. Ishida would push his glasses up and say something about how love would stupid. Mizuiro and Keigo would drag him along to another club and tell him to pick up some random guy so that he could "get over" Kisuke. And his father wouldn't be able to stay serious long enough for Ichigo to talk to him.

So he let the love and rejection eat away at his heart. He could do little else. And even though he saw himself wasting away, he did nothing to stop. If anything, he encouraged it, because at the very least, it was a testament of his love.

But fate seemed to have a vendetta against Ichigo. For Keigo's birthday, he dragged them all along to his favorite club. In horror, Ichigo discovered that it was the same club where he had met Kisuke. He glanced furtively around, trying to spot that sandy blonde hair, and was relieved when he couldn't. Slowly, as the alcohol was forced into his system, he began to loosen up and not think so much about Kisuke. He turned an appraising eye to the floor, wanting to forget for just one night. But everybody was disappointing in some way. Too tall, too short, too muscular, not muscular enough, too thin, too fat, not the right hair color…

It wasn't until that last thought that Ichigo had realized he was silently comparing every member to Kisuke.

Despondent, Ichigo had dropped his head to the bar, no longer excited to find someone to take home with him. Nobody could compare to Kisuke; no one could help him forget. All he wanted was to get drunk and then have Ishida drive him home so he could sleep off the alcohol. After all, Keigo and the rest had already gone off to do their own things. Ichigo had ordered another drink, not really caring anymore.

But then a familiar tan hand had pushed a bill onto the table, paying for Ichigo's drink. Ichigo had stiffened as a warm body pressed to his back, familiar in its comfort. He had held his breath, fearing his nightmares were about to come true. Indeed, not a minute later, the man had grabbed Ichigo's hand and pulled him towards a back room—the back room where they had first had sex. And for some reason, Ichigo had let him.

They didn't have sex so much as they made love this time. Kisuke spent what seemed like eternity on Ichigo's face, neck, and shoulders, before spending the same amount of time on Ichigo's chest. Within minutes, Ichigo was writhing under Kisuke's ministrations, begging for release. But Kisuke simply shushed him by placing a finger to his lips and continued with his actions. Ichigo came twice without even being touched. And then Kisuke was in him, filling him, and Ichigo had never felt this good, never felt this loved, never felt so complete, and he never wanted it to end, never wanted Kisuke to stop, never wanted to leave, and it was all he could do not to scream as the most powerful orgasm he had ever felt had ripped through him that night. He flew that night, in a haze of ecstasy, and dreamed that Kisuke really did love him.

But reality hit Ichigo hard when he returned to earth. His breath left him in a whoosh as he realized what he had done. He had let Kisuke take him, had let his hopes get up again, had indulged in something that would only break his heart faster when Kisuke rejected his love. Tears stinging his eyes, he climbed off the bed and picked up his clothes, rushing to get them on. In a flash, he was at the door, furiously twisting the knob to run away from the inevitable crushing rejection.

But as he yanked the door open, Kisuke grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Maybe he saw the fear in Ichigo's arms, or maybe he sensed the tenseness in Ichigo's muscles. Ichigo didn't know. But Kisuke looked deep into Ichigo's wide, wet eyes, tenderly brushed Ichigo's cheek, and leaned down to capture Ichigo's lips in a deep, tender, lingering kiss. And despite how hard Ichigo tried to tear away, he found himself kissing back. He let Kisuke lead him back to the bed, where he once more shed his clothes and snuggled in the covers against Kisuke's broad chest.

And then Kisuke said those three words that Ichigo thought he would never hear again. Those three words that had led to this whole mess. The three words that Ichigo had pined to hear from Kisuke's lips for months now. Three words, three simple words, that carried the weight of the world behind them. Words that made Ichigo complete.

"I love you."

FIN