Title: Names
Summary: Hell hath no fury like a nameless woman
Character(s): Christopher Pike, Number One, and a little bit of Spock
Pairings: A little of Pike/One
Genre(s): Humor, Romance
Word Count: 319
Rating: K+
Warnings: Audio Only. And Number One is OOC

"Hey, Captain?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever considered being on first name terms? Or any name terms?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, we ARE first officer and captain. It would be a good idea to get to know each other a little better."

"Alright. You can call me Christopher, or Chris if you like. What's your name, anyhow?"

"What? You don't even know my name?"

"Number One-"

"So THAT'S why we only use rank when referring to one another!"

"Number One-"

"You even know the Vulcan science officer's name, the one with the weird eyebrows-"

"My eyebrows are not 'weird,' they are an acceptable standard of Vulcan eyebrows-"

"SHUT UP, SPOCK! Anyhow, you even know HIS name and you don't know mine. What's wrong with you? Haven't you ever looked at the personnel registrar?"

"Number One, I shall attempt to use a question I once heard a cadet ask at the Academy. Are you currently bleeding from any-"

"SHUT UP, SPOCK! Keep out of the conversation. And YOU! Stop looking at me like that!"

"Number One, do not yell at my bridge crew!"

"Don't tell me what not to do, Chris! I'm the freaking first officer!"

"Hear me out. And I'm the captain,"

"You better have a very good reason that you don't know my name."

"It wasn't in the script, Number One."

"Don't give me that! Spock being half-human wasn't in our script either, and Its one of the most well-known facts on this ship!"

"Look, Number One, I know you're upset and I understand why-"

"Don't give me THAT either!"

"Listen, how about we just discuss it over dinner?"

…

…

…

"Captain, am I correct in assuming that you just asked our first officer out on a date?"

"Yes you are, Spock."

"You really think this'll diffuse the situation at all?"

"No. But how about you join me anyway and tell me your name?"

"…fine. Couldn't hurt, I suppose. Oh yeah, my name's Eunice Standard."

"Suits you. Can I call you Eunice?"

"…okay."

Author's note: I just made her name up. I don't know if they EVER gave her one or not. If you have a better name suggestion for her, let me know.

Geez, they gave her the short end of the stick. She was the freaking FIRST OFFICER and they never give out her name.