Nothing ever went my way. Ever. So, when I was pinned against the sheets (YET. AGAIN.) I simply exhaled once and accepted my fate. I was forever doomed to be the one underneath.

But I wasn't complaining.

"Da-Dave, Dave, god, please, ha-harder, god, Dave..." I squirmed as his fingers slid around inside me, causing blinding flashes of pleasure only that god-of-sex Dave Strider could create. I mewed plaintively as he –

"Hey, Egbert, you up here?" Oh god. Not now! I quickly saved the document and snapped my laptop shut, sliding a halfway finished ~ATH paper over top of the computer, hopefully calming my blush down as much as possible before my bedroom door scraped open on the carpet. I faked a jump and turned around (complimenting my acting skills in my head), pasting an embarrassed grin on my still red face. Maybe he would think the red was natural embarrassment - although it was way too bright to be anything other than lemons.

"Oh-oh, hey, Dave," I stuttered slowly, chuckling nervously. "What's up?"

"Dude. Don't tell me you forgot. Rose and I were coming over for dinner tonight, per your old man's request." Dave flicked his wrist at me, like them dropping in for a visit was the most natural and common thing in the world. The most I saw of them was at school, and we lived in opposite directions from the old building anyway. "Some kind of special occasion or whatever. Or maybe he just wants an excuse to cook for more than two people."

"Right, right," I mumbled, turning back around and shuffling my papers around, making it look like I was cleaning up without revealing the presence of my laptop. "I'll be down in a minute, tell Dad I'm just finishing up some homework."

"Which homework, the science packet? God that one took me forever." Dave spun on his heel (an achievement on carpet) and started back out. "The answer to question six is reptiles, not amphibians, if you were stuck."

I nodded in appreciation - I had been stuck - and quickly jotted it down before the door swung shut again. I exhaled in relief. "Thank god, that one was close."

There were multiple times my dad had almost walked in on my random fits of writing. You may not think this is a big deal - but when you write stuff that should be on a porn site under 'classified', your dad can speed-read, and you may or may not have a huge boner - then things get tricky. Best thing to do is start coughing, especially if your dad is a huge germaphobe. Lucky lucky me. It's not often we got company, so none of my friends had ever really walked in on me, but usually Jade popped over unexpectedly, since she had recently moved into the area. We had offered to let her stay with us, but she said she would feel like a burden and decided to bunk in a little room-for-rent place down on Third, which was only a couple blocks away. So she visited.

"John! Come on, we're waiting! You might want to hurry, too, I don't like the way Dave is eyeing the chicken..." of course. She must have seen the cars pulling into our driveway while running with Bec Noir and decided to see what was going on.

"Be right down, Jade! Tell Dave to cool it! How can you even tell what he's looking at, he's always got those shades..." I trailed off, remembering many a story that involved those infamous shades. Stupid things...

"I can tell because he's staring directly at it and drooling!" Jade called back.

"Guilty," Dave called.

"John, are you going to be much longer? I'm very hungry." Rose was the last voice I heard hollering up at me, so I (naturally being kind of intimidated by her) finally got up from my desk chair and walked out of my room. I flew down the steps and rocketed into the kitchen, nearly colliding with all three of my gathered friends.

"Hi, guys!" I chimed happily, my joy clouding out any lingering embarrassment. I'm sure I positively beamed as we all sat down at the table, my dad whisking in and out of the kitchen doors bearing plates and cutlery. Dave shied away from the three different forks Jade held up in confusion before I pointed out that Dad had just put all the silverware into one pile. Rose shook her head at our 'foolishness at all things mannerly' and separated the utensils for 'us newer to the arts of fine dining'. I was having fun throughout dinner (five courses before we even started on dessert) until Dad came out one last time holding a large silver filigree platter, decorated with a humongous chocolate cake. We all looked at each other, looked back at my dad, and promptly ran far, far away.

"Dude, I can't believe your dad did that, doesn't he know the Batterwitch has control over all things cake?" Dave lounged - distractingly, I might add - on my couch, stretching with loud sound effects. I nodded solemnly and flopped next to him, suddenly envious of the Jade curling up into his side.

Those two had been going out for a while now, but only recently had I realized that I wasn't comfortable around the both of them anymore. I took me a while to figure out why, but once I did, honestly it didn't surprise me. I'd felt like something was going on in my subconscious for a bit, so it wasn't truly a shock worthy of note. But it was still wrecking my friendship with them. I couldn't talk to Jade anymore without feeling the tension, feeling the horrid shivers up my spine that only encouraged me to punch her. Sometimes, she went on about what she and Dave had done blah blah blah. It was times like that where I really wished she was back on that lonely island, where I could block her on Pesterchum or just plain old ignore her. But now I couldn't. I could tell she had some inkling of the barely concealed feelings I had for Dave, but I don't think she quite understood the true extent of my weird, weird brain.

But, who really understands fanboys?

NO ONE, THAT'S WHO.

"John, are you okay? You're grinding your teeth again," Jade observed my awkward smile with friendly concern; her eyes boring into my face as I slowly unclenched my jaw. I attempted a genuine smile – and failed. I'm sure I just looked even more awkward.

"I'm fine, promise!" I said with fake cheer. She squinted at me for a nanosecond before nodding and starting off on another excitable rant. Dave tangled a hand into her hair and gave me a cool kid smirk, saying we love her anyway. I nodded tightly, my eyes lacking luster and drooping with disappointment at my current love life. I wondered briefly – as I often did – if Dave knew. If he thought about me. If he even swung that way. I used to deny it a bunch, I wondered if Dave denied it too. Maybe he didn't deny it! Maybe Jade was with him only because she knew he was denying it, and she was secretly helping him to realize his true feelings for none other than me! Maybe he read fa-fanfiction (oh, my breath just hitched) about us! God, I needed to halt these fantasies right here before -

There. There it was. A new lemon prompt, already forming in my head. I quickly excused myself and sprinted up the stairs, my glasses sliding down on my nose in my haste to get to my laptop. I had to write this down before it escaped my evil clutches! I nearly smashed my bedroom door to pieces as I pelted toward my desk, colliding with my chair and swiping my laptop from under the papers, scattering them everywhere. I flipped it open and unlocked it, the window pulling up as the previous story I had been working on. I had a new oneshot due in a couple days on a fan site, devoted to many fandoms, and crawling with the fans themselves. Speaking of the devil…

-Private Message from Becquerel to DaveCantDoTheWindyThing—

Windy! Where's the new oneshot for me to beta? You've got two days, tick tock, boy!

I sighed heavily at the impatient blinking. Beccy was my faithful beta for two great years, she'd been with me from the start and had seen every story at least a day before it went up. She may call me Windy all the time, but that was only so she didn't know I was one of the stars she - ahem – fantasized about. So I fired a quick response back before cracking down on that new prompt.

-Private Message to Becquerel from DaveCantDoTheWindyThing—

beccy, calm down! i'll have it up in an hour, promise. for now, cool your fangirlness and just wait, kay? love you! ;B

I leaned back in my chair, relaxing for a moment while my derpy laptop sent the message. As soon as the screen went back to normal, I opened a new document and started typing furiously, my fingers flying across the keyboard, not even looking at the keys, just watching the words spawn seemingly from nowhere.

Silence. Silence, except for my heartbeat, an unreliable piece of junk I wanted to toss into a dark corner. His soft pants of air tickled the back of neck, raising the hairs and drawing a low moan from my lips. I slid my fingers up the leg currently hiked over my hip, earning a shudder and a sharp hiss in my ear. Our rolling movements shook the bed-frame, only a tiny squeak emanating from the protesting – but interested – springs.

"Dave, Dave, please, I –"

"Egbert, what the hell?" I spun around, my momentum knocking the chair over with a crash. A huge splotch of red painted my face – typically referred to as a 'fangirl flush' – as I slowly sat up and brushed myself off. Dave stood frozen about two feet from where my chair had been. I quickly averted my gaze from his clear shock (whoa, no cool kid act, I'm in trouble) until my eyes darted back in a double-take.

He was holding my laptop.

SHIT.

"Uh, D-Dave, I can ex-explain, r-really, just p-please put down my l-laptop…" I stammered quietly, my blush growing brighter and restricting my vocal cords to a whisper. Dave held up a slightly shaky hand to halt my nervous speech. His head was ticking back and forth, I was sure he was reading what I had on the page. I was positive he was reading my collections when he sat heavily on the carpet and began clicking. I ground my heel into the coarse fabric and tucked my hands behind my back. I swallowed and willed my blush to fade away. I guess my will wasn't strong enough. After about ten minutes of uncomfortable silence, Dave looked up at me. I blinked rapidly at his slight blush and – get this – foggy glasses. They had the tiniest edge of misty gray coloring the black shades. My heart and brain went in two directions, up (oh god, does he like them?) and straight down (oh no, he's going to murder me). I started to stutter nonsense again.

"Dave look I was going to tell you but you started dating Jade and I didn't want to ruin our friendship so please don't be mad at me can we forget everything that just happened please?" I inhaled sharply and squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears from falling fast. I heard the floor creak as Dave stood, but my ears just weren't enough to pick up the silent ninja footsteps as Dave slid right up to me and smashed his lips onto mine. His tongue pressed lightly on my bottom lip; I let him in with no hesitation. Suddenly, I got the urge to be the one in power, and began to fight his tongue for dominance. Dave seemed surprised, but he fought back anyway. Our tongues danced as long as our lungs would allow them. When we broke, both of us knew the dominance battle was not decided. I realized with a jolt that during my distraction (first time I've ever done this sort of thing, I'll have you know) that Dave's arms had slipped around my waist and his fingers were playing with the edge of my shirt. His shades had slipped down his nose in our haste, and he was staring straight at me with his absolutely transfixing eyes. My breath left me, and took my brain with it.

"So Egbert." I swallowed; my throat was so dry. "Those were great."

I froze.

"Huh?" I didn't register anything he had said. He could've punched me, and doubted I would have noticed.

"I said they were hot."

Oh god.

This was happening.

"Really?" I still didn't believe my ears. It was too bizarre. But I did like the part where it was TOTAL PRAISE.

"Yeah, stupid, are you hearing anything I'm saying?" Dave smirked and copped a feel of my ass, making me jump three feet and even closer into Dave's arms. "Well, at least you noticed that."

"You think I wouldn't?" I retorted. In return I pulled on his hair to drag him down into another breathless kiss. Our teeth scraped against each other and I melted, using only Dave's shoulders to keep me from being a puddle.

"Dude, dude," Dave chuckled into my lips. I broke and blinked innocently at him. "The bed is over there."

My eyes widened three inches and all I could manage was a nod. Of course he would've noticed the urgent prodding in his hip.

Nothing seemed real anymore, it was all so fast, so dreamlike. He tightened his grip on my waist, lifting me up, and I automatically wrapped my legs around his hips. Our lips connected again in another magical kiss, and the battle began anew. For a while there was nothing but the hot slip and slide of wet muscle against muscle inside my mouth, nothing but the pale, freckled Texan shoulders I gripped with my bitten nails, nothing but the loud thump of heartbeats in time with each other. I was jarred back to reality when my back slammed none to gently onto the mattress, the sheets flying up around us, creating a little white cave, secluding us from the rest of the world. Our teeth bumped together at the impact, but we didn't care. Dave's fingers wasted no time in sliding up my shirt, staying to tease the pink buds as he kissed me urgently. I moaned into his smirk, arching my back, causing much needed friction between our manhoods. Dave moaned even louder than I had and nearly crushed me as his knees gave out. Damn, he was sensitive.

I rolled us over and took up the top position, smiling goofily – I knew I had just won. I lowered my head to place one last slow, tender kiss on his lips before pulling our glasses off simultaneously. His flame red eyes locked with my ice blue ones, and we both utterly crumbled. I growled low in my throat and began attacking Dave's exposed neck with bites, leaving a trail of angry red marks. Those were going to show later. I smirked to myself, it had been a long time since I had felt this powerful – namely when I had gotten my god tier powers in the Game. That was the only other time. Dave squirmed and growled in pleasure, with a flash I realized he gets pleasure from pain. Oh-ho, something to use to my further advantage! I nipped again at his neck and earned another low moan from deep in his throat. I looked up at his face. His eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly open, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Still lavishing his neck, I tugged insistently at his shirt, telling him get this the fuck off you before I rip it to shreds. He immediately began shrugging it off as fast as he could, pulling on mine, wanting me to do the same. I happily obliged. Soon we were both shirtless, and all I could do was marvel.

Dave was lean, but muscles rippled right under the skin from all his years of strifing with his brother. His skin was pale, and covered in thousands of freckles, which I found so adorable it wasn't even funny. I vowed to myself, some day, I would count each and every one of those freckles. As it was, I ran my nose over the tan dots and found out another thing about Dave.

He was ticklish, and it turned him on.

God did I love this boy.

My tongue darted out of my mouth of its' own accord and traced a light pattern over his sensitive skin. Dave moaned again, and it was music to my ears. I shuddered involuntarily and growled again, it was like someone else had taken over my body. Grinning uncontrollably, I hooked my fingers around the elastic hems of his Pokemon boxers, pulled up, and snapped them back down.

"Mmph!" Dave arched suddenly into the sound and I got an incredibly cool chin to the forehead. "Sh-shit, Egbert."

"Aw, it's not so bad," I chuckled, biting down a bit harder than normal; just to feel his muscles tighten underneath me. It was intoxicating, addicting, irresistible, the knowledge that it was because of me Dave was making those noises. It was too good to be real. I slid my tongue over the droplet of blood already beading from the mark, earning a hiss and a hand tangled into my hair. It pulled harshly and my face was yanked up to meet a mega glare. "What…?"

"Dude." Dave's full glare could be one hell of a dagger – and I was definitely feeling it, way down in my gut. Or… nope, a bit farther down. "Quit the fucking teasing before I take over again. And I won't play nice."

I swallowed, not quite sure if I… disliked… the idea, but decided to leave that for another time. Wait… was there going to be another time? I sure as hell hoped so because if not our friendship was royally screwed. Instead of letting my thoughts show, I grinned and snapped the elastic again. Dave moaned and his hand relaxed its' death grip on my hair. I took the moment of weakness to gain more ground – namely, almost tearing Dave's boxers up the seams in the process of ripping them off. Dave had to stifle another growl as the cool air hit his suddenly exposed self. I smiled deviously and shrugged out of my own restricting garments. Dave's eyes raked over my body as I did the same to him. We sat there for a moment, just taking the other in, before we attacked each other. I immediately went for his neck again while he went for mine. Seconds later my ass was in his face and I was teasing his slit with my tongue, lapping up the pearl of precum.

"," Dave grunted from behind clenched teeth, barely holding himself back from bucking into my throat. I lifted my head away from him and arched an eyebrow over my shoulder. He swallowed and nodded back to me, his eyes clearly saying all right, all right, I'm sorry. Continue? I smiled and nodded back. I resumed lowering my head to lick along the underside of his dick, being rewarded with a twitch and a wet finger sliding around on my back and down my ass. I groaned and slid my tongue up and around, wrapping my lips around him and sucking. Dave made the most beautiful keening noise and I hummed in satisfaction, the vibrations drawing another wail of pleasure from deep in his throat, and causing his finger to slip inside my ass. I yelped and jerked my head back.

"F-fuck, Dave, warn me!" I gasped out, arching suddenly at the intrusion. I shook at the weird feeling until he curled his finger and sent sparks flying in front of my eyes, causing my whole frame to just collapse on top of him. "Ah!"

"First try and I already got it dead on, huh?" I moaned loudly again as he prodded the bundle of nerves harder. I could just feel the smirk on his face as he poked it again and again, totally disarming me. He slowed after about a minute, and drew his other hand up my side. "Come on dude. I can't only give, here."

"Shut up…" I mustered all my strength and steadied myself. I took him in my mouth again and sucked hard. I wanted to hear that voice over and over again, lost in incoherence, screaming my name. That's it. Screaming my name, that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted to shatter that mask of his and drown in the flood of everything behind it. I licked along him one last time before rolling off him, suddenly feeling the loss of his fingers and a twang of emptiness. I shook it off, though, and turned around to straddle him and place one more delicious kiss on his pale lips. Dave looked surprised.

"What?" he asked softly, stroking my hair back gently. I smiled at his flushed face and chuckled once more, running my hand along his cheek before tracing them over to his lips, holding them there as a lingering suggestion. Dave's eyebrows shot sky high. I grinned wider. "Seriously?"

I pressed a bit firmer in answer.

After a moment of hesitation, Dave opened his mouth a bit and flicked his tongue over the tips of my fingers, and I let them rest there for him to deal with while I busied myself with pumping him slowly. Moans vibrated around my fingers, and I couldn't help but think what they would feel like running over something else… but that was for my imagination to decide during my soon-to-be writing fit. Once I deemed my fingers wet enough, I drew them down to push Dave's legs farther apart, enough for me to slide one in and out comfortably while kissing him. Dave slid his tongue inside my mouth as I added another finger, and I began swallowing moans every other inner poke. It was beautiful. Somehow, I wished I had a camera.

I forced Dave's head back and bit hard at his neck as I added a third finger, blood welling to the surface from two teeth marks even as another, louder keen reached my ears. Something told me I had hit that spot. I let him adjust to the thrusts of my three fingers against his inner walls for a moment before retracting them, and kissing him again. He smiled, his mask still intact (damn it) and tucked his hands into my now-tangled hair. I prepared for some pulling as I lined up, and pushed carefully.

I know I've mentioned I'd never done this before.

"Ow, Dave!" I winced as his arms tensed and pulled hard on my head. In the moment of pain, I hadn't noticed I had accidentally jerked all the way in, and that was what Dave had reacted to. The moan he gave though didn't seem too displeased with it, so I gripped his hips and let him a second for composure.

But only a second.

"Ah, fuck!" Dave threw his head back and gritted his teeth as I smacked into the spot again. Over and over I slammed as hard as possible into the amazing heat, the coils tightening in my stomach with every thrust. Dave started babbling like I usually did (which is a lot) and I realized I had won. I had achieved my goal; break his mask into tiny little pieces. "Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck, god, ah, fuck, shit, please!"

I allowed myself a triumphant smile as I –

Oh fuck all the shit, he said please.

I immediately picked up the pace, frantically pounding him into the mattress in my lust-fueled frenzy. Nothing existed right then except the electricity sparking in my gut, driving me over the edge as Dave tightened around me. He yelled something garbled (it sounded like 'fuck everything this is amazing'… or that might have been me) and shot straight up, wrapping his arms around me in the tightest hug I have ever experienced in my entire life. I came on the spot.

I fell to the side and we lay together for a while, just snuggled in my sheets, letting the crazed feeling die down. I replaced my glasses and tried handing Dave his shades; he turned them down, and took my glasses back from me. We stared each other for I don't remember how long, having a silent conversation that basically consisted of this:

You're amazing, you know that?

Yeah. I knew that.

I hope you know; I'm going to lord this over you the rest of your life.

Dude. Great sex is the exact opposite of a threat.

I could threaten to never let it happen again…

Whoa. No need for ultimatums.

I grinned at him and sat up at that, tossing his random items of clothing strewn all over my bed frame and the floor at him. He caught them all and quickly threw them on; shoving my clothing he could reach back. I had to fight him about my glasses, proving by slamming into the discarded desk chair that I really could not see without them and they weren't some kind of weird prop to make me sexier. Arm in arm, we descended the stairs, him explaining that according to a text he had received a little earlier, that as soon as Rose had heard the chair hit the floor (damn her sharp ears) she had gotten Jade to fake an injury (tripping over Dave's discarded jacket and landing face first on the floor, which she apparently actually did on a daily basis) and having my dad drive her home, then delaying him as long as possible with the help of Rose. Now, however, they had run out of reasonable reasons for him to stay (other than food, of which they were still full) and he was on his way back. Apparently, Jade was totally cool with this – she had found my username, and deduced it was me. She was the one pretending to be Beccy, go figure. My mouth was hanging open for most of this long-winded explanation. At the end, I shook the stupor off and –

"Oh my god, I'm HORRIBLE at endings!" John smacked his forehead against the keyboard, an achievement without taking Dave's head down with him. "Beccy is going to murder me for this when I send it; she doesn't like when I put her in stories, and she'll hurt me for making her Jade, not to mention it SUCKS!"

"It's cheesy, doesn't mean it sucks," Dave stroked John's hair lovingly, comforting him over his writing skills. "And Beccy will deal with it."

"You're just saying that because it's a lemon, and that's the only part you care about."

"Damn straight."

"Then you write the ending!" John shoved the laptop into Dave's lap, folding his arms and steaming. Dave laughed.

"You write, because I just suck balls all the way around on this fanfiction shit. I thought we agreed on this." Dave saved the document and closed the laptop gently. "Besides. That story there's got me all hot and bothered."

John giggled at the apparently ironic phrase and let Dave's arms draw him deep into the slim gap between reality and fantasy – where anything can happen.

~FIN~