A/N: Alright! So this is a story I've been wanting to do for a while now. I absolutely adore Gam/Kar and so after scouring all that this site has to offer on the subject, I finally decided that I wanted to write my own. Now I will confess that this is my first fanfiction -ever- but I don't want that to be looked at as a reason to pat me on the back and tell me I did a good job. I crave constructive criticism and would love to hear the honest opinions of my readers. Also, if you notice ANY grammatical errors whatsoever, please point them out to me! I'm a bit of a stickler for proper writing so that will never be ill received. I believe that covers all of the boring bullshit, so down to business.

FOREWARNING:
- I'm trying my best to write this in sticking with Hussie's AMAZING storyline, and to some degree writing style, so there may be spoilers if you're not completely caught up!
- There will be plenty of violence/smut/language and other such fun/unpleasant things in this story, so you have been warned.
- I'm a firm believer in good solid plot/setting development and as such there will be no insta-sex scenes out of nowhere. Sorry! In order to fully enjoy this story, though, you're going to just have to be patient!
- As stated previously, the main pairing this fanfiction will focus on will be Gam/Kar though there will be other minor pairings such as Dave/Terezi and Kanaya/Rose. I have a combination of half-planned half-making it up as I go thing going on, so there may be other surprise pairings but we'll just have to wait and see I guess!

Last but not least, I will try to update as often and as much as I'm not going to box myself in with a set schedule. Thanks so much for reading my little ramble of words, both bold and regular, and reviews/messages/fanart/questions/suggestions/anything else I'm not thinking of is always greatly appreciated and will not go ignored. Without further ado, I'm going to shut the fuck up now and let you read the story!

IT'S THE FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY

"Okay, that's definitely the stupidest fucking idea that's ever been suggested in the entire history of paradox space. Of course, how could we have possibly had our sniffnodes so far up our fucking seedflaps to have missed this incredibly obvious and astoundingly stupid way to die?" snapped the, as usual, fairly irate voice of Karkat Vantas. "Oh, maybe because we weren't deserving of such stupid shitty plans. Thank you Jegus. Thank you for finally deeming us worthy to follow such horrible advice to lead us into our deaths."

"Wow. That rant actually took longer to say than Rose's entire plan," replied the chill voice of one cool dude. "Man, do you even listen to yourself sometimes?"

"Fuck you! Fuck you Mr. I'm-too-cool-to-give-a-fuck-about-killing-everyone. I'm just stating the obvious," the troll went on, storming over to poke Dave hard in the chest.

"Dude, don't touch me," the Knight of Time replied, swatting Karkat's hand away. "Look, Rose, you know shit. I mean, it does all sound pretty insane, but it's better than waiting around on some floating rock listening to all this obnoxious yelling. Let's do this."

At this last rebuttal, the nubby horned troll crossed his arms irritably, biting at his bottom lip to keep from saying anything. As much as he would never admit it, Strider did have a point; arguing back and forth for all eternity wasn't exactly the best option here.

Somehow, in all of this increasingly less reliable traveling through the ever shifting time and space, their meteor had gotten knocked off course. Well, 'somehow' wasn't exactly the best word; they knew shortly after this occurred what had transpired. After all, it was kind of completely impossible not to notice the ship that John and Jade had been piloting after it crashed into them. It was this very ship, still remaining lodged into the meteor, which all eight of them were currently standing on the deck off. Though the group was now all together once more, they had been knocked hopelessly off course and, according to Rose, were stuck in a sort of endless loop just out of Jack's murderous path.

Karkat thought all of this over as he quietly stood off to the side, a light growl rumbling in his throat as he found himself growing angry all over again. His now red-tinted irises glared over to John who was happily conversing with Jade; oblivious of the troll's death look in his usual naivety. Their original trek was intended to last a sweep and a half, or three earth 'years', but due to this grand catastrophe, they had been floating around aimlessly for twice that time. Needless to say, they'd all done a fair bit of maturing both physically and mentally, though some a bit more than others.

Some of the changes were easy to see; all of the trolls' irises had taken on the color of their blood, save for Terezi who's own eyes were still useless and burnt red. Others were more subtle in nature, like the gradual increases in height that all of them seemed to have picked up. Again, some experienced this more than others as Karkat was now officially the shortest one on the ship while Gamzee towered well over the rest of them.

Speaking of… The nubby horned troll glanced over to his moirail uneasily, trying to read any of the emotions or thoughts that ran through the highblood's head in those frighteningly deadpan indigo eyes. If anything, the clown's capricious nature worried the Cancer the most. It was a little over a human 'month' ago when Gamzee had suddenly just sat down in that corner there, and he may as well have become a statue then for none of them had seen him so much as blink since. The slight rise and fall of his chest was his only real indication that this wasn't the case, and it served as a constant reminder that he was still quite alive. This fact, though, didn't much help to alleviate any of Karkat's fears. Quite frankly, the Capricorn was absolutely terrifying even though he was just sitting there. The Cancer usually just did his best to try and ignore him. Gamzee's usual, lazy smile was stretched across his now healed face, though a light bit of scarring was visible through what was left of his mostly smeared or rubbed off makeup. Sitting with his legs crossed and the red blooded troll standing next to him, he would have only had to crane his neck slightly to meet Karkat's eye level; an ever present testimony to his increased height. His arms laid down the length of his thighs, ending at his knees with his claws curled at the caps, using them as makeshift armrests. He didn't speak, he didn't move, and he didn't respond much; all he did was sit there, staring off at something Karkat had yet to discern.

The Cancer jumped some as he was torn from his thoughts by the placid voice of their currently assigned leader.

"I appreciate your approval, Dave," Rose said finally, gaze shifting among the many faces of both troll and human alike. "But this decision shouldn't be left up to one person. While I do know quite a bit, my knowledge isn't limitless, and there's no guarantee this will work," she paused, turning to look out into the space flying past them; the same space they had flown past countless times before. "However, as far as I can see, it's our best chance of escaping this painfully repetitive existence. Are there any other objections?"

"Well, I'm siding with this coolkid," Terezi cackled, slinging an arm around the knight's shoulder.

Karkat's frown deepened at the sight, eyes locked on that arm as if it were some sort of gnarled tree monster's dick; Terezi and Dave had become much closer than he would have liked during this endless meteor trip. This fact both sickened and hurt him; Dave didn't deserve a troll like her as a matesprit. When the Cancer stopped and thought about it, he concluded that he obviously didn't either of course; it couldn't even be a thing. Still, of all people, why would she choose that insufferable prick? Had they already had sloppy makeouts? What if they had already tried pail filling? The troll wondered briefly if humans could even supply viable genetic material for the imperial drones, and quickly concluded that any human foolish enough to try would be culled along with their matesprit. A light blush came to his cheeks and he hurriedly shook these thoughts off; now was not the time to be thinking about sloppy makeouts, filial pails or genetic material being added to the incestuous slurry. Having now fully matured (physically, anyway) at the respectable age of nine and a half sweeps, thoughts like these were invading the Cancer's think pan much more frequently lately. His incessant obsession with romcoms didn't much help that either, of course, but he just couldn't help it; who could resist the allure of actors like John Cusack and Troll Sandler? Now done being distracted by all of this bullshit, he decided it was time to get back on topic. He supposed he could still try and pursue a caliginous relationship with Terezi. After all, they definitely seemed to take part in things typical of blackrom games at times. But it's not enough, the troll thought bitterly. Karkat shook his head, trying to ignore his stupid emotions and pay attention to this little attempt at what the humans called 'democracy' in action.

"I concur. While the probability of success is fraught with a slight degree of uncertainty, Rose's plan seems to be our most promising option," replied the solemn voice of Kanaya, effectively tearing the Cancer from his thoughts. "We at least have to try."

Her loyalty was met with a warm smile from the human, and Karkat had to fight to keep from emptying his protein chute.

"I'm not sure Rose, Karkat might have a point. As ill-formed and poorly worded as it may be," Jade chimed in, wringing her hands as she looked to John for support. "Maybe we should think about this a little more?"

"Yeah, I mean, I know you're all smart now Rose," John said, eyebrows knitted together in worry. "But aren't there any other options? How would being flung into our scratched universe help? Wouldn't we be doomed?"

"I don't know. I'm afraid I don't have any answers this time, John," she said, still studying the space beyond their vessel. "But either way, we don't have much time to make our decision. There's a slight abnormality in the space that we'll be coming up on shortly," she continued on, but now turned back to face them. "In a few minutes, to be precise, and if we don't go through that opening, we'll have to wait another two years at least before we'll get this chance again."

The nubby horned troll almost couldn't decide which would be worse; being flung into an unknown world with these assholes or having to spend another sweep flying around on this stupid rock with them. Before he could open his mouth to start on a second rant, though, a dark voice sounded from behind him, causing him to do an acrobatic pirouette off the handle and jump back a few feet.

"Do it."

All eyes shifted now to look at Gamzee, with a few then glancing to each other as if to confirm that he had in fact just said something. Karkat could feel the hairs on the nape of his neck rise as he studied the taller troll, wondering if he would say anything more on the matter or if he would just continue to sit there as if he were once more made of stone. A hushed silence fell over the group now, and Rose was the first to break it.

"Very well. It looks like we've come to an agreement," she said, staring back into the space once more.

Her arm stretched out, pointing towards a lithe, vertical strip that was a bit lighter than its surroundings as if it were a literal tear into the fabric of space. It was barely visible, like a factory-defect in a stretch of cloth that one would have to look at very carefully to notice, but it was there.

"That's where we need to go," she instructed, looking towards Jade and Dave. "The two of you will have to work together on this, carefully warping our surroundings to send us through that opening right as we come up to it."

The two nodded wordlessly, eyes transfixed on the task at hand; this was going to require a lot of focus, just the right timing… And a little bit of luck.

"Get ready," Rose instructed, her own gaze locked onto the tear as well.

Karkat sat next to Gamzee, covering his face with his hands and trying to keep it together. They were going to die; he just knew it. This crackpot plan was going to kill them all and there was nothing he could do to stop it. If only he hadn't rushed along the frogs, if only he had been a better leader; he should have been able to prevent this somehow. Self-loathing thoughts spread thickly through his think pan like a delicious grub sauce, and a light tremble began to shake him. The Cancer was so distracted by his own thoughts, he had nearly yelped when he felt a clawed hand lightly squeezing his shoulder.

Gamzee's head turned slowly, with all the stiffness and lethargy of an old, rusted robot and he looked down at Karkat's attempt to keep a straight face.

"Don't worry best motherfucking friend," the highblood growled, an unnerving fluctuation in his tone.

The nubby horned troll didn't know whether to feel better or all that much more terrified.

"There's only one minute left," Rose said, one hand grasping the railing in front of here with a white-knuckled grip.

Kanaya looked down at the human's free hand, taking a deep breath as she tried to gather her courage; if this attempt at escape was to fail, then this would be the last time that she'd ever get to be with Rose. She'd become aware of her feelings for the human long ago, but it never felt like the right time to breech the subject. With how reluctant all of the humans seemed to be in matters of romance with the trolls, of either a red or black nature, the Virgo had been trying all this time to feel out just how Rose would react to her over this. Rejection was a very real possibility, and one that she certainly didn't want to lose her friendship to. Summoning all of her bravery, the rainbow drinker wordlessly reached down to hold the Seer of Light's hand. It was a small gesture, one that she hoped would go largely unnoticed and ignored, but if she were going to meet her death she wanted it to be holding the hand of the girl she was flushed for.

Rose did notice, however, first glancing to their joined hands and then back up to Kanaya's face. Though there was a twinge of concern in her eyes, a soft smile tugged at the corners of her lips. The Virgo returned this smile, and then gazed out into space with the human. No words were needed; it was like it wasn't even a thing.

John was watching Dave and Jade intensely, his eyes filled with both curiosity and apprehension as his two friends readied their powers to try and free them from this situation. He let out a fairly sissy sounding yelp as a cane gently but unexpectedly made contact with his back. The Heir of Breath turned in confusion towards the culprit, one cackling Terezi who had stepped back to take advantage of his blissfully unaware gawking. John smiled at this; even in such a dire situation, the blind troll had time for shenanigans. He chuckled in response, causing Karkat to facepalm at how incredibly stupid that entire thing had been.

"Alright everyone," Rose instructed, swallowing slightly as she gazed into their uncertain future. "This is it, hold onto something."

At once, there was a blinding blur of light and color as the vessel seemed to fly without moving towards the opening in space at an astronomical speed. If anyone had screamed, the noise had been lost into the void around them. It seemed to swallow up the meteor before shooting them into its infinite obscurity. Suddenly, it appeared as if everything had just completely ceased to exist; there was silent, black nothingness that seemed to make up everything around and within them.

There was no telling how long this lasted, but eventually cutting through the vacuum was a single blip of light; in it the brightness and color of a rapidly approaching world the likes of which none of them had ever seen before. Seeing it as a whole was only a momentary experience, and just as quickly as it had appeared it had completely surrounded them; they were no longer gazing into this dot of light, they were inside of it. As it turns out, it was a really fucking huge dot.

Stars painted on a canvas of darkness flew past them in streaks of light, and soon those streaks disappeared to give way to a sea of bright blue littered with puffy white squiggles. Though they were still flying in too fast to accurately see what they were passing, one thing was very clearly in focus and becoming exponentially larger; the ground.

Sounds returned as they entered the atmosphere, but they were a muddled cacophony of nonsense not unlike that which comes from a scratched up CD. This, too, didn't last long as the meteor suddenly came to a screeching halt, finally colliding with the earth in a plume of dust and rubble. Debris billowed up from the crash site, enshrouding the entirety of their vessel in a cloud of dirt, rock, and various other bits of ground that had been spewed upwards as their foreign body carved out this new crater.

Karkat didn't see any of this. In fact, the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was a somewhat bleary stretch of black with just a splash of indigo. The troll blinked away the haze from having his eyes shut so tightly and finally concluded he was staring at a shirt. Gamzee's shirt. And it was right next to his face.

It only took a nanosecond for the Cancer to come to the realization that he had completely latched onto the Capricorn like some sort of wiggler to his Lusus. He quickly withdrew his grasp, effectively falling backwards on his ass as he did so, and he tried to pretend that that hadn't just been the lamest thing he had ever done. Gamzee hadn't seemed to take much notice to this, or really to that entire trip and crash landing. He still just sat there, staring off in one direction with that lackadaisical smile carved across his face.

Karkat spared a nervous glance to the highblood and then to the still settling dome of dust around them. Brushing himself off, the troll stood up to assess the situation. His gaze stopped briefly on the searching eyes of both Kanaya and Rose who seemed to be doing the same. Aside from looking a bit shaken up, they seemed to be fine. Terezi was helping to pick John up off the ground, and her giggles were the first thing that the nubby horned troll could process.

"That was fun," the Libra said happily, leaning back to help steady the human.

"It was alright," Dave answered, adjusting his sunglasses and looking back to her with a cocky smirk.

She returned his arrogant demeanor with one of her own, of course, and Karkat found that he was once more trying to keep down the contents of his protein chute.

"Is everyone alright?" Jade asked, her canine ears flicking around to pick up on every nuance of sound. "Did… Did it work?"

The dust was beginning to settle now and the group of eight looked out past the wreckage to get a bearing on their surroundings. The sun shone down brightly, causing Karkat to cringe as his nocturnally adapted eyes dilated into focus. None of them could have been prepared, however, for the first sight to greet them in this new land. The Cancer's jaw hung open, and after a moment of dumbfounded silence, he verbalized what the rest of them were thinking (or at least, thinking in some similar, less vulgar manner).

"Holy fucking shit… What is this?"