Title: Residue
Rating: K
Summary: The adventure is over, Alice has returned home, and Hatter learns it's hard to let go.
A/N: I recently watched Alice for the first time - should have known fic would come of it.
-x-
His apartment is lonely when it's only him. It's always just been him – always just the Hatter, alone. Once, he enjoyed the solitude that removed him from the chaos of the teahouse. Once, he yearned for the sanctuary.
Now, Hatter catches his fingers tapping on surfaces as his gaze lingers on the reflective glass of his table. Alone, he thinks, and remembers her smile.
-x-
He paints his walls blue in a fit of emotion so forceful he could have sworn he'd overdosed on tea. The colour is too strong; he falls back in his chair and sinks into the memories.
The next day, he buys a can of yellow paint. He wants to start over.
-x-
"This is a surprise."
Jack Heart, King of Wonderland and two-timing prick, strides across the room with a smile on his face and a hand outstretched.
Hatter glances down at it, smiles cheekily, and keeps his own hands tucked behind his back. "Love what you've done with the place," he quips.
A palace has arisen where the casino once stood, its towering levels in varying stages of completion. They stand in the entrance hall, bare beams and drywall holding the room back from its intended grandeur.
"Thank you," is all Jack says. He pulls his arm back and waits.
The prick is rubbing it in by leaving Hatter to bring up the topic on both their minds. "You want me on your… advisory council thing."
"Yes. I hadn't realized it would take you so long to get sorted, but I've held the position open for you. It's been very busy, trying to straighten things out. I recommend moving into a suite here in the castle to be on hand in case of emergency."
Hatter clears his throat. "Yeah, about that. No thanks."
"Pardon?"
"No, thank-you. Turning the offer down. Fare thee well and I'll see you another day."
He wheels about, shoes squeaking on the fresh concrete floor, and leaves Jack standing alone with a dropped jaw.
-x-
He sells his apartment. Dormie chatters the whole time about acting too hastily. It's a phase, he claims, and Hatter shuts the thought out because he doesn't want to admit his friend may be right.
The old chess ruins are hauntingly silent with none but a dead king for company. He wanders through the crumbling remains and tries to imagine the bustle of a city over a century before. When night falls, Hatter camps in the old throne room. He lays on his back, connecting stars as he drinks in her memory.
When he passes the ladder where, once upon a time, her coat had hung, Hatter ignores it. He tries not to look at the broken, empty bed nor the long-cold fire pit. He finds her footprint saved perfectly in a patch of dirt on the corner of the ruins and stares at it.
This isn't working, he realizes, I can't let go. Not here.
By nightfall, he has packed his few belongings and left the ruins behind. He has no idea where he's going.
-x-
Turns out there isn't any place where he can learn to let go.
-x-
The Heart castle is nearing completion when Hatter walks in the front door again. Security measures have increased; Hatter is searched and his knife confiscated. He never used to carry a weapon before but now, he feels vulnerable without it.
He runs a hand through his hair in increasing agitation when the guards decide to repeat the search. His rugged appearance may be cause for suspicion but this is simply absurd. "I'm here to see Jack," he snaps, "The king, I mean."
"Extra precautions, what with the upcoming wedding," security explains.
He nearly turns around to walk out right there and then.
-x-
"I've missed seeing you around," Jack says by way of greeting.
Hatter shrugs apathetically. He's noted that Jack hasn't offered to shake hands this time and can't decide whether to be insulted or impressed that he'd remembered from last time. "I've been busy."
"Quite the contrary – or so I've heard."
Everything about this man rankles. Hatter suppresses the desire to roll his eyes. "How's the council?"
"Still busy, I am afraid." Jack pauses to adjust a cuff-link. "I'm on my way there to discuss details regarding the wedding."
"So I've heard," Hatter says sourly. He knows it isn't fair to feel offended just because someone else has managed a happy ending out of the entire fiasco. "And how's the wedding planning going?"
Jack manages a smile. "Splendid. Or so Duchess tells me. But you aren't here to speak of weddings, are you? There's still a position on the council for you if you've had enough of traipsing about the country."
Hatter had walked into the room fully intending to accept the offer should Jack make it again. Now, he doesn't know what to think. "How's Alice?"
"Alice? I've been meaning to get in touch with her since she went back to her own world but, what with the chaos of the country, I'm afraid that task has been overlooked."
Hatter hadn't tasted relief this fresh since the teashop closed. "Good luck on the wedding, then," he says, and shows himself out.
-x-
They don't let just anyone through the portal. There are countless security measures, not to mention the ring that spends a majority of its time on the king's finger. Hatter sits across the street from Looking Glass Central and allows himself to dream.
-x-
The Great Library is a bustle of activity, workers moving to and fro to organize the books in time for the public opening. The Dodo, on the other hand, has not changed one bit.
"You're mad, Hatter," he spits, angrily stacking books as though this visit is taking away from his valuable time, "Why in Wonderland would you come back here after what you did?"
"After what I did? What I did?" Hatter can't suppress an incredulous laugh. "I kept you lot fed for years! Not to mention all that effort I put into dethroning the queen, thank you."
The Dodo huffs grumpily and sets the set of books down to point accusingly. "And stole the ring out from under us."
As tempting as it is, arguing with the Dodo is never a successful game. "I just want to take a look at some of the books."
"Some of my books!" the Dodo exclaims, "You? I wouldn't let you within a hundred yards of these books!"
Hatter can't help but reach out to mockingly tap the stack that towers beside him.
-x-
It takes some persuasion but, in the end, the Dodo lets Hatter search the library at will.
He spends days wandering through the maze, dodging workers and librarians, searching through outdated records, trying to find any semblance of order. And finally, finally, he finds a single book on life in the other world.
He pretends it's a way of letting go. Instead, Hatter falls deeper into his strengthening resolve.
-x-
"The wedding's not for another week," Jack begins this time.
Hatter doesn't care about the wedding but he does pretend to laugh. "I need clearance, Jack."
The room is fresh and new, the smell of paint not yet faded from the air. Jack crosses the space, shoes clicking on the tiled floor, to stand at the window. "So that's why you've cleaned yourself up."
His hair is flat and his clothes toned down from his usual style but Hatter doesn't like to be reminded of it. He feels awkward, like a different person. He is a different person.
"I'm going to need more of an explanation before I grant clearance for anything," Jack continues when Hatter doesn't speak.
It's hard to ask for help from Jack of all people. Hatter tries not to scowl. "Clearance for the Looking Glass." And as though the admission makes it easier, the rest of the explanation slides out. "I need to cross over. To see that she's all right."
Jack stares out the window, raising a hand to rub at his chin. When he finally turns around, the ring glints from his finger.
"She'd said she'd changed," the king says ponderously, "I think I see, now."
Hatter wants to say more but he's frozen. He waits.
-x-
Stepping through the Looking Glass is like dipping underwater, only there's no buoyancy to keep him afloat. Hatter falls.
There'd been conditions, of course, and a promise he'd been hesitant to make. Please be worth it, he thinks, and he wonders just how much time has passed for her. The worlds do not hold to the same patterns of time, Charlie had intoned, and Hatter had wondered if the knight had even known what he was talking about.
He falls for an infinity and then, all at once, lands on hard concrete. His whole body is sore and bruised from the impact. He grits his teeth and rolls over, hears voices outside calling a familiar name, manages to slide out the torch from his pocket to shine around and gain a sense of where he is.
The beam lands on her face and for the first time in weeks, Hatter breathes her name.
-x-
End.