Ok so I know that this has been done before, but after reading the various hilarious commentary's I just had to make my own, even if my brain turns to mush from reading this…crap. Good luck to all of you.

AN Dis iiz mi stury. MI friend edited it 4 me. You're the best, Darry! (Oh my God…if this is 'edited' then I don't even want to think of what it was like before *shiver*)

BOOK 1: JO BELLE POTTER AND THE SORCERURS STON (She's not gonna do all of them is she? Lord help us if she is…)

Chapter 1: Dumbledore (oh no…)

Mi nam is Jo bele Susie lilee Puttr. (Great, another fucking Mary- Sue.)

I waz drupped uff at mi uncl and ants hose. (Your Uncle married an ant? They live in a hose? How did you manage to squeeze in there?) wen I waz 3 da dark lurd volddenut (Volddenut? Wow…I actually feel sorry for poor Voldy.) killd mi parents. I used to hav a bruthr but he livs in engglnd. (Is he dead? No, so how is he not your brother?) Now mi ant in uncl in sutth carulia razed me. (They destroyed you? YAY!) Dey r abusive. (I thought they already destroyed you?) Dey rap (Cool! Can I have a demo?) and hurt me. (Hum…I'm getting a sense that that's a good thing.)

I hav durty blond hair, that hangs down to mi feet. (What is this Rapunzel? Well, at least you'll probably trip on it.)i hav dimond blu ies dat sparkl. (Shit, not another Cullen idiot!)Sometimes my eis are green or yellow. OI am super hot!111111111 (Remember it's a bad thing if the mirror breaks.)

1 dae I waz wlkin doewn da street nd I cm hom der was a ledder on da doorstep. I gspd!11111111111111 it sad hugwurts skill od wickraaf nd wizrdy. I tried to get it butt sdunely… … … … … …So much useless suspense … … … … … … … … … … … … .. .. ..

A knif came me!111111111111111 (Who threw it? I want to give them a big hug!) Im fast thouh, so I caut it nd thru it bak at mi dum uncl. (Damn it, missed; and ninja skills? Seriously, that's the best you can do? Pathetic.)

it hit him in da crocht and he did. (Sorry? You hit who in the crotch?) den antie Beatrice cam up. "U klld mi usbnd u freek!111111111111111" (man, and I thought you couldn't get any stupider, yet you can't even hold down the shift button and 1 button at the same time!)

Hes nut ded.' (What's with all the nuts?) I told hur. Den I wavd mi hnd n he cam bak to lif! " (Bitch! Can't you see that he wanted to stay dead! He finally got away from you!) Jpo bel!" he screemd (Told you.)

Mi ant thru me acruss the rume.\ I hit da wull nd nearly pasd out! (Why can't you just die already?)

"wuts dat letr u hav,' jo bel?" ant betric askd

"NOOO" Uncl sd.

"I hut wed stuppd it!" ant betrik sad. ( Why does that situation sound so familiar…)

"den unl grvaed be nd thruuu me acrss da rume. (Please die, please die…) DEN DA DUR FLU OPEN!111111111.. ….. .. .. . . .. .(Damn.)

An old man was der. (no, not him…please lord, don't let it be him!) He had a long blak beerd. He spok in an awsum suthurn bretesh axnt. "I am Pruffsr ALbis Peeter Quintin alexndr Dumbldur!111111111" he crid. (NO! Why, why, why? And it's Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore! Get your facts right!)

A flash uv litenin was seen oteside da durr. It lukeed lik mi scar. I hav a scar ov a litenn bult on mi 4hd. (No? Really? We never would have guessed even though your last name is Potter or Puttr, whichever one!)

Dumbldur sd. "Cum (how do you know that word? You can't be any older than five right?)

w/ me jo bel I hav ur bruthur."!1 (Wait, I thought you didn't have a brother any more, since he lives in England.)

2 B CNTUUD! (*Closes eyes and prays* Lord help us all.)