There was a vid screen to the left of the counter, right next to the candy bars, that showed a live feed of the battle still raging on Earth. Despite everything, Sword Fleet was putting up a remarkably good fight. It turned out that most of the alien species decided it would be in their best interest to join the offensive against the Reapers, rather than face extinction if they failed to call each other on their individual political bluffs.

With the fleet at full strength, everything seemed to be working out—aside from the brief moment when Hackett ordered a small Mako, painted with crude flames, to be plugged into the Crucible. When the Mako disintegrated instantly, they correctly guessed that the Citadel, now in orbit around Earth, was the Catalyst.

Shepard had been watching the entire thing for hours now, unable to tear his eyes away from the vids. The only time he managed to look away was when the register chimed and Garrus read the price aloud.

"That'll be twenty credits even, miss."

The asari tossed a credit chit on the counter in a huff. "I'm not your miss. Asari are not female."

Garrus tapped his talons on the register in an aggravated rhythm. "Fine..." he hissed. "I'd ask you if you want paper or plastic, but something tells me you won't be keen on picking one and sticking with it."

The asari gasped and snatched up the credit chit. "Keep your groceries, asshole."

Garrus called after her. "Have a nice day. That door's both an exit and an entrance, so I think you two will get along great."

The door slammed. Shepard started laughing when he was sure they were alone in the shop. "How many times is that today?"

"The tenth," Garrus said. "Give me some credit, though. That was the first time I lost my temper."

"Had to happen some time." Shepard started opening one of the candy bars."You did get into a pretty heated argument with that distributor when you told him you didn't want to stock Pibb Xtra over Mr. Pibb."

"I did the galaxy a favor."

Garrus picked up the bunch of groceries the asari had left behind and took them to the other side of the shop for reshelving. Shepard went back to watching the vid screen, but couldn't make much out of it. The battle was getting more chaotic and the reporters weren't able to keep up. He turned his head a few feet to his right and saw nothing but blue skies out the front door.

Shepard had picked Eden Prime as the place to start his mini mart, The Shep Shop ("Eden Prime's One Stop Shep Shop!"), with Garrus. It made sense in a lot of ways—financially, chief among them. With displaced beings crowding most of the fringe worlds, Eden Prime had become an interstellar shelter for thousands. The Reapers seemed to show no interest in the planet, but no one knew how long that would last.

Shepard hoped it would be until he paid off the business license he'd been forced to buy. Even after all his haggling and the resume of achievements he produced—with "Saved the Galaxy" somewhere near the top—they still wanted to charge him top price. Luckily, he got a slight discount for building the mini mart inside the Normandy's cargo bay, since it then qualified as a mobile vendor.

They wouldn't even let him keep the pen.

"I hid that newer carton of milk near the back," Garrus said, returning to the register. "I want them to search for it."

"Your tyranny knows no bounds," Shepard replied, flatly.

"Makes you feel powerful. Like when you give people the wrong keys to the bathroom."

Shepard laughed. "Or when you let some turian cop aboard your expensive spaceship."

Garrus looked over, sharing in the memory, and chuckled. "Or when you help some grunt track down a rogue Spectre."

"Or when you decide to track down some Batman Wannabe on Omega."

"Or when you..." Garrus threw his arms up. "Why does everyone keep comparing me to Batman! I shot at people! I didn't tie them up and hang 'em by their ankles from a streetlight."

"You're right, Garrus," Shepard said. "You weren't the hero Omega deserved, but you were the one that they needed."

"Damn you..." Garrus perked up when he saw someone walk by the door, but whoever it was kept on going. Garrus relaxed again. "What was it like the first time you came here?"

"I think you put butter on the shelves instead of in one of the fridges. That was my first inkling this was a bad idea—"

"No!" Garrus gave himself a moment and cracked open a Mr. Pibb. "No. Eden Prime. What was it like when you came here before?"

"Eden Prime?" Shepard dug back through memory. It seemed like a lifetime ago: his first days aboard the Normandy under Anderson's command. Days he could describe in a handful of words. "I thought it was a great looking place. It's a shame I had to see it only after Sovereign got to it. Not too many fond memories, unfortunately."

He looked up, spotted the infinite green of the garden world through his windows. "But that was the day it all began, you know? I took command of the Normandy, explored the galaxy with a ragtag bunch of soldiers and engineers and..." He had to laugh. "An archaeologist, even. You would think our lives would have no real reason to even so much as intersect, but not only did they intersect, they...

"I couldn't have gotten this far without you all. My life wouldn't be the adventure that it has been without each and every one of you." Shepard caught himself before he went any further. "To answer your question: what I remember of Eden Prime was that it was the start of something special. And if it has to end now, I hope it ends in the same way."

Garrus turned his head and wiped something from his eye. "It has been fun, hasn't it, Shepard?"

Shepard nodded. "It really has."

"Yeah," Garrus sighed, and joined Shepard in staring out through their front window, where the cargo bay door used to be. "That would really suck if, instead, you picked a color and everything came to an end."

Shepard winced, trying to process what his friend had said. "That was a very random thing you just said."

"Wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

Garrus nodded. "Yeah."

"In that instance, I guess it would be better if we—later on, mind you—got an additional ending that was more in line with what we're talking about here."

"I'd rather we just got it right the first time."

"Life isn't that fair." Shepard knocked on the counter. "Sometimes life deals you a good hand, and sometimes it deals you Dragon Age 2, or a weird pick-a-color ending."

"We have a saying like that on Palaven."

"But life can sometimes deal you KotOR, or even a series of events where I can honestly say there would be no Shepard without Vakarian."

Garrus snickered and nudged Shepard on the shoulder. Shepard nudged him back.

Next to the candy bars, the feed from Earth continued.

"We're getting unconfirmed reports that one of the soldiers from Hammer has made it inside the Citadel. We're not sure who but it appears... Yes! The Citadel is opening back up! It's opening back up—!"

"I'm here on the bridge where Admiral Hackett has just ordered the Crucible to be moved into position near the Presidium Dock, where engineers from Illium, Earth, Palaven and Sur'Kesh are in agreement that the device can be connected to the station's main power source—"

"—where, as you can see, the rachni forces are now engaging the Reapers in the immediate area around the Crucible, attempting to fend them off until the device can be triggered—"

"We're picking up another signal on the emergency channel. It seems that Alliance soldier, Major Coats, was the one who made it inside the Citadel, along with Admiral David Anderson... We're getting our first transmission from them right now, stand by!"

"—the heroes of Hammer Squad are about to make their first transmission—"

"—stand by!"

"This is Anderson! We're starting our ascent into a separate chamber of the Citadel. If anyone can hear this, I believe this room is where we activate the Crucible. There's... I hear a voice... Coats, what is that! Get down, there's someone in here with us!"

Silence on the channel for what seemed like forever.

And then:

"I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite Hidden Reaper Antechamber on the Citadel."

Garrus carefully set his can of Mr. Pibb on the counter and turned to show Shepard his look of utter surprise.

Shepard gritted his teeth and looked away, embarrassed.

"Seriously, Shepard, how many of those things did you do?"

"I..." Shepard cradled his head in his hands. An Edenian Water-Filled-Rude-Noise-Making-Bug-Eyed-Mammoth on the other side of the planet exploded, making a hilarious rude noise. "...I don't know..."

Special thanks to Mister Buch - author of Mock Effect and many other stories that I am continuously in awe of - and the fine folks over at the Mass Effect Fanfic Forum.

And BioWare, for (eventually/finally/thankfully) giving these characters the ending they deserved.

Thanks for reading! Hope you had a laugh or two!