10/10 man
My sides

this shepard is horrible :/

God, this story is so freakin' awesome. You made me want to start a mini-mart with Garrus in my game! But starting a new business in a shifting intergalactic economy crippled by the Reapers? Heavy risk, but the pri*shot*

Knights of the Old Republic was such a good game.

Oh, Coats. Oh, Anderson. And they got to open the mini-mart after all. Thank goodness for happy endings, sort of, and thanks for sharing this. This has really been a delight to read from beginning to end.

OH NO POIGNANT MOMENTS IN THE MIDDLE OF SIDE-SPLITTING HUMOR. This fic, man. This fic.

Legion and Conrad Verner/Jenkins.

I am so far past amusement I can't even laugh. You are a genius.

"Uh... yeah, this is Alliance Control, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you... How are you?"

And every moment with Garrus in this chapter is gold. Picking colors! He rides the elevator up too far and meets the Catalyst. Of course he does. So perfect.

So I was thoroughly enjoying watching the Illusive Man rip Shepard apart (I believe the word I used in chatting with my buddy was "brilliant"), and then you threw in a sudden Minesweeper joke and I just fell apart. There should be a recovery program for people who've read this fic, because I don't see how anything is ever going to measure up to it.

The man coughed a few times. "This... hurts me..."

You must be so sick of hearing how this fic is killing me, but I am dying. Dying.

And then you have wonderful little character affection moments in the middle of the humor! I'm not overly fond of this expression, but this fic is seriously giving me all the feels.

("Stryker! The decision to proceed is yours... is yours... is yours...")

I'm so sorry I'm just quoting your own fic back at you, but I have no other way of expressing how brilliant it is.

("We'll give you anything you want!"

"Offer me money!"

"You'll have it!"

"Power, too. Promise me that."

"All that we have and more! Please!"

"Offer me everything I ask for."

"Anything you want!"

"I want my father, you son of a—! Wait..." Shepard shook his head. "I'm reenacting The Princess Bride again. Let's start from the top.")

Because basically, between these moments and the "that's no fighter" moments, you are actively destroying not only my ability to breathe but also my ability to ever take Mass Effect seriously again. This is so good and so funny I am dying, DYING over here.

By the time Shepard finally made it to the Council Chamber on the Citadel, the four councilors had fallen asleep on the platform and Liara was playing around on her omni-tool, putting the finishing touches on a one-to-one scale replica of the Crucible in Minecraft.

"Sorry I'm late!" Shepard cried out, having sprinted all the way from Docking Bay D-24. He hunched over to catch his breath. "I... got caught up in... space stuff... doesn't matter..."

I am laughing so hard it hurts.

Did you know that this is brilliant? Because I hope you know that this is brilliant. My best friend found this fic last night in a hunt for Kaidan fic and the next thing I knew, I was getting snippets c&p'd all over the place. My favorite of the first few was the Cadillac-ac-ac-ac-ac moment (which is utterly hilarious even out of context), and I just had to tell you that having gotten to this chapter and reading it finally for myself, I STILL let out this huge burst of laughter that actually echoed in the room a little bit.

Seriously, thanks so much for sharing this. I'm having trouble reading the words in front of me because I keep getting so excited about what's still to come.

It's impossible to count the number of plot holes Me3 introduced.