After JJ left, Reid walked over to his mother and sat down beside her on the bed. He took her hand in his, which alerted Diana that this was not some ordinary talk. While he never refused it, Spencer had almost never initiated contact between them, always waiting until Diana showed she was open to it.

"What is it, Spencer? You look troubled."

"Mom, I met with Dr. Carson this morning. He told me you'd gone down to get ready to start radiation tomorrow."

"Oh, it was awful, Spencer. They pointed a machine at my head and took all sorts of measurements. They must think this tumor has made me stupid if they think I don't know what they're up to. Please don't let them do this to me, Spencer. Please."

Reid recognized the paranoia beginning. Now he was in a race against time, fighting both the tumor and the schizophrenia. He wanted to have her assent while she was still able to give it.

"Mom, I won't let them do anything you don't want them to do. That's actually what Dr. Carson and I were talking about. We can discuss later about whether they do the radiation, but there's more that we need to decide about." He tried to gauge her readiness for what came next. "Do you remember that I told you the tumor might bleed again?" At her nod, he continued, constantly scanning her face for a reaction. "If it should bleed a lot, it could make you very, very sick, and very quickly. You might not be able to breathe on your own, or even eat on your own. If that happened, the doctors might have to put a breathing tube in your throat, and…..

"And hook me up to a machine?" she interrupted, "Never! I won't allow it! Spencer, promise me you'll never let that happen!"

Despite her agitation, he was almost relieved at her words, but still needed to be sure she understood. He put a calming hand on her shoulder. "If it happens that you need the breathing tube and I don't let the doctors give it to you….they won't be able to save your life. It means that you'll die then, Mom."

She paused a moment, made sure she had his eyes. "And I will be ready for that, when the time comes. I've been busy preparing." She pointed to the books strewn about and her journal lying open on the bed. "Just promise me, Spencer, that you will do as I ask."

"Mom, I told you, I'll never let them do anything to you that you don't want. " His eyes broke away as they both recalled the time he had gone against her wishes, sending her to Bennington. "I did it once, a long time ago, and I thought it was for your sake. Maybe it was for mine. Mom, I'm so sorry about that. I thought I was doing the right thing."

"You did do the right thing, baby. I don't want you ever thinking otherwise. When you were a boy, there were days when I was clear enough to know I was hurting both of us, but I couldn't stop myself. I lashed out at you then, but that was the illness speaking. I know you only did what you thought was best, Spencer. A mother always understands."

Reid blinked the tears from his eyes. After all this time, he could still feel the wrenching guilt of that day of separation. To be granted forgiveness now was almost too much. "I love you, Mom. I want you to know that, even in those difficult days, I always loved you. I've always been proud to be called your son."

Diana often ranted, but never cried. Until now. Something in the immediacy of the threat broke down all of the internal barriers she'd erected. She reached for Spencer, and mother and son held each other, tears spilling from both sets of eyes.

JJ had been on her way back to the room to see how Spence was making out. From the hallway, she saw the intimate moment between them, and knew they needed this time alone together. She asked a nurse to tell Reid she'd gone back to the hotel.

As they ended their embrace, Reid caught his mother's hands. "Mom, you do trust me, right?"

"Of course, baby," looking at him warily. "Why?"

"Because I need you to believe me when I tell you that you should let them do the radiation." As he saw her open her mouth to argue, he sped on. "It might help the tumor shrink, which would make it less dangerous and might make your headaches go away. And it might give you more time."

Diana had been about to interrupt, but stopped at Reid's last sentence. What did having more time mean? More time to be sick? More time to spend with her son? More time to take him away from his work? More time at Bennington? What part of her life would she want more time for?

She shook her head. "Spencer, I do trust you, but I don't trust the doctors or their fancy equipment. How do I know they're not trying to run some experiment on my brain? How would you know?"

Her voice was rising in pitch and volume, and Reid could see she was getting agitated again. He waved his outstretched hands downward in a calming motion. "It's okay, Mom, you don't have to do it. I'll talk to Dr. Carson again." He sought to distract her by changing the subject. "Mom, would you read to me again? I didn't realize how much I missed it until yesterday."

That seemed to appease her. "All right. Let's see, I think the Proust this time."

He sat himself in the chair JJ had vacated and waited as his mother found the right book. Without looking up at him, she commented, "Jennifer and I had a very nice chat. She's a very lovely girl, Spencer."

"Mom, we're friends. You shouldn't get any other ideas in your head."

"Many of the most lasting relationships begin in friendship. You never know where life may lead you. She certainly thinks very highly of you."

Narrowing his eyes, Reid said, "What exactly did you two talk about?"

And Diana picked up the Proust and began to read.

Reid stayed with his mother until early evening. The boy had become the man, but he still relished the sound of her reading to him. He left her with a kiss and a promise to see her early the next day. He'd finally secured her agreement to consider the radiation if he would be present to police it.

As he entered the hotel, he caught JJ leaving the gift shop with a souvenir for Henry. She was alarmed when she saw him. Reid looked completely spent, the usual dark circles under his eyes now deep shadows. JJ took his arm and led him to the elevator and then to his room. "We're going to order you some food, and then you need to get some rest. You probably haven't slept more than a handful of hours in the past three days."

She sat him on the side of the bed and settled herself next to him. "How did it go? Are you okay?"

He took a deep breath and expelled a long sigh. "She made it easy for me, was adamant about not having anything aggressive done. Of course, she was also adamant about not having the radiation, but I bargained with her that I would be there, and she's at least willing to consider it. If she changes her mind, I'm going to have to give in. I promised her I wouldn't do anything she didn't want, and I meant it. I can't ever do that to her again."

At JJ's puzzled look, he explained about Bennington.

JJ heard his voice wavering. "Do you know that she forgave me, JJ? All these years, it's always been the unsaid thing between us. Today, she forgave me." He was bent forward, head in his hands, looking at the floor. "This whole situation is so horrendous….how can it be it's given both of us some peace?"

"My mom says there's always blessing in sorrow, if you know where to look for it."

Reid was so silent, it wasn't until she saw the shaking of his shoulders that JJ realized he was crying. That almost brought her to tears as well. He'd held so much inside this whole time, and the grief and exhaustion were taking over. She reached both arms around him from her place at his side, and laid her head on his shoulder.

They sat like that for a little while, and then she began to rub his back. "Spence, you're exhausted. Why don't you lie down and try to get some sleep. I can sit here and read for a bit."

He squeezed her hand in thanks. "You don't have to stay, JJ. I'll be all right. But I think I'll skip the food for now."

JJ looked at him skeptically. "No, I don't think you'll actually sleep if I leave you alone. I think you'll sit here and ruminate. That won't do you or your mother any good. No, I think I'll stay here, at least until you fall asleep."

Reid had plenty of experience with a determined JJ, and decided not to argue. He lay down on the bed and JJ sat next to him. "Now close your eyes and breathe deeply. It will help you to relax."

"Yes, ma'am."

Reid's hair had become a running joke with the team, the subject of much teasing. Usually JJ would muss his hair as she passed by…..but tonight she gently ran her fingers through it as she brushed it back from his face. Reid succumbed to the touch, and to the soft sounds of her whispered, "Let go….breathe…..sleep."

They had only a few hours respite. JJ had fallen asleep in her reading chair, and was awakened by the ringtone of Reid's cell. She grabbed it and answered quickly.

"Dr. Reid's phone, Jennifer Jareau speaking," she whispered, hoping to let Reid sleep.

"Ms. Jareau, this is Dr. Carson at Las Vegas Memorial. I need to speak with Dr. Reid immediately. Is he there?"

JJ's heart fell. This could only be bad news. She shook Reid awake. He rubbed his face and looked at her groggily.

"Spence, I'm so sorry, but the hospital is on the phone. Dr. Carson needs to speak with you right away."

That brought Reid to full alertness. He took the phone. "Dr. Carson, this is Spencer Reid. Did something happen with my mother?"

"Yes, Dr. Reid, I'm afraid it did. She's had another seizure, this one difficult to stop. She's stabilized now, but in and out of consciousness. We believe the tumor was bleeding again-and based on the fact that her blood count is still dropping, I don't think the bleeding is stopping. This is what we feared would happen. I think she is very near the end, Dr. Reid. You will probably want to come in."

He'd put it on speaker so that JJ could hear. She was already gathering their things. She looked at Reid with sympathetic eyes. "Are you ready?"

"Will I ever be, for this? Let's go."

At the hospital they found Dr. Carson huddling with a nurse in the hallway outside Diana's room. He explained that her moments of consciousness were fleeting, and were coming less and less often. He encouraged them to speak with her even when she did not appear to be alert, as people are often able to hear even when they can't respond.

As Reid went to the room, JJ hesitated, thinking to remain outside. But Reid took her hand, the look in his eyes telling her he needed her presence. They entered together. Diana's bed was disheveled from the seizure and the response, her book and her journal fallen to the floor. Reid picked them up and laid them on the table beside her.

Sitting on the bed, he took her hands and called her name. Slowly, very slowly, she stirred. With her eyes still closed, she slurred, "Spencer."

"Hi Mom, I'm here. I'm right here with you."

More slurring-her speech center had definitely been affected. "Spencer, I'm so tired. I just want to go home. Please let me go home."

JJ's eyes were full as she watched Reid slowly swallow and respond. "It's all right, Mom. You can go home now. You can just let go... and go home. It will be all right…. I'll be all right."

His face a mask of grief, Reid was determined to help his mother navigate this final part of her journey without fear. He knew she needed to feel his presence, that she always found security in him. He let go of her hands and stretched himself out on the bed next to her.

Watching him, JJ was desperate to find a way to help. Through her own tears, she eyed Diana's book on the table and knew, somehow, exactly what to do.

As Diana faded, JJ picked up the book and read aloud-knowing that the words would help transport Diana to her rest, and Reid to the solace he would need. Spencer laid his mother's head on his shoulder, and his own head on hers.

He'd never noticed how similar their voices were—deep, just a little bit raspy, and the most soothing sounds he knew. He closed his eyes, listening to the spoken words and feeling the ever-slowing rise and fall of his mother's breath. When finally her breathing ceased, he lay, motionless, holding her. And JJ, preserving the moment, continued to read.

It was JJ reading, but it was his mother's voice Reid heard: "People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad". ~Marcel Proust

FINIS

A.N. The story continues in "Echoes".