You hated him. The stupid freaking bastard. The flamboyant, seadwelling hipster. Your name is-

"My, my, if it isn't Sollux Captor!" To speak of the devil.

"What the hell could you pothibly want, Eridan?" you retort, mentally kicking yourself for your goddamn lisp.

"Oh, I just wwanted to knoww howw you're doin, Sol!" Eridan laughs, pulling you into a hug.

"Let go of me thith inthtant," you hiss, rigid under his arms. Eridan releases you.

"Lithen, Ampora," you say, pushing him towards a wall, "I hate you tho much, you're not even clathified ath my kithmethith anymore!"

Eridan merely laughs, "Wwell thats fine by me, my matesprit!"

Woah. That was too far. He went way too far. "You BITC-" you start, but suddenly something is pressed against your mouth. A whole freaking mouthful of Ampora. You sruggle, frantically pushing him away, your mouth clamped shut, but the damn guy wont give up! He drags his teeth down your lips, leaving fine trails of yellow dripping from your mouth. You try and step away, but using this as an advantage, Eridan turns you around, and pins YOU to the wall.

"Thtop, get the hell offa me, bathtard!" You try to say, but your voice cracks, and you just sound pathetic now.

"Havve I evver told you howw much I hate lowwbloods like you?" He smiles, one hand holding you down, the other running through your hair.

"Only every goddamn day," you snort.

"Wwell, Sol, wwhat wwould you do if i said you are an exception? Wouldn't you be elated?"

"No, tho jutht let me go and get back two doing... Whatever idiotth like you do."

"Oh, gee thanks, Sol. I thought wwe had somethin!" He pouts, a look of fake sorrow plastered on his fish face.

You roll your eyes. "Yeah, in your freaky fantathieth-" Suddenly, Eridan's on you again, his lips firmly on yours. Again, you freak, wondering why the hell he's so over-desperate today. His tongue rolls over the drying blood on your lips, and he wraps his arms around you tighter. You frown through his lips, and try again to push him back. He pulls away for a second.

"Aww, wwhats wwrong, Sol? Am I too good for you? You not ready for this amount of amazin-ness?" he smirks.

"Eridan, I hate you," you mumble, your voice shaking. It's pretty much the only thing you can say right now though; it's the only thing you're certain of right now.

"I lovve you too," he smiles. You open your mouth to protest, but goddamnit! Eridan takes this moment of opportunity to practically choke you with his tounge. Your face goes bright yellow, and you try and fight back, your teeth puncturing his lips and tongue. He doesn't seem to mind, in fact, he seems to be enjoying this! He makes a noise somewhat like a giggle, then pulls away to scratch behind your horns. Your eyes open wide, you twitch, then you start purring uncontrollably. The look of pure hatred on your face contrasts with the pleasure of your purring.

"My my, Sol, wwhat a pretty vvoice ya got there!" he grins, as he kisses your forehead.

"I thaid to get the hell offa me, bathtard," you complain weakly, though it's kind of pointless now.

"Wwhat, am I makin ya uncomfortable? Is this too much for poor little-"

Without realizing what you're doing, you pull Eridan into another kiss. Why the hell did you do that? Maybe you don't like to lose? Well, whatever the reason, you are now having an all out hate-snog contest with Eridan, glaring at him and yourself the whole time. Suddenly, the door opens, and a suprised Karkat blinks, frowns, and stares at you dumbly.

"WELL. I... I GUESS I'LL JUST LEAVE YOU TWO TO... DO THAT." he says in his ever-loud voice, and spins on his heel, exiting.

... You hate your life.