Disclaimer: all familiar material belongs to either Roald Dahl, author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Warner Bros. for the film adaptations of the book, and Eoin Colfer, author of the Artemis Fowl series.

Thanks To: Harry Artemis Jackson and The QAS for the regular remarks! Thanks also for all those silent readers, though I wish you would say something so that I know what you're thinking! I'm especially curious about what people will think of this final chapter...

A.N. Speak up! Suggestions, comments, questions, likes, dislikes...the story may be at an end, but you never know when I'll write another one!

The Winner

Which room shall be next?" said Mr. Wonka as he turned away and darted into the elevator. "Come along! Hurry up! And how many children are left?"

Artemis and Butler shared a look.

"Mr. Wonka," Butler said, speaking for the first time in hours, "Connor is the only one left."

Mr. Wonka swung round and stared at Artemis. There was a moment of silence. Artemis stood as straight as he could.

"You mean you're the only one left?" Mr. Wonka said, pretending to be surprised.

Artemis nodded, feeling very excited for some reason. He knew something major was going to happen. "Yes, sir."

Mr. Wonka suddenly exploded with glee. "But my dear boy, that means you've won!" He took Artemis' hands in both of his, shaking them so hard that Artemis feared he would dislocate both shoulders.

"Oh, I do congratulate you! I really do! I had my doubts at the beginning, but well done, well done! This is terrific! Now the fun will really start! But we mustn't dilly! We mustn't dally! Let's get back in the elevator, and I will explain things on the way! There are so many more things we need to put in order!" He pressed a button labeled UP AND OUT. The elevator shot up like a rocket. Artemis had an idea from the name of the button concerning what would happen next. He felt slightly afraid that the elevator would shatter, but he figured that Mr. Wonka knew what he was doing. He didn't doubt the genius candymaker for a second.

"I've been waiting to press that button for years!" Mr. Wonka said as the elevator shot up faster and faster. "I was tempted many times, but I couldn't bear to make a big ugly hole in my roof! Here we go, boys! Up and Out!"

Despite his faith in Mr. Wonka, Artemis braced himself. Butler wrapped his arms protectively around the boy, shielding him in case the elevator shattered into a million jagged pieces.

Then suddenly—CRASH! And the most tremendous noise of splintering wood and broken tiles came from directly above their heads. Then there was a rushing of air, and Mr. Wonka gave an exultant cry. "We're through! We're out!"

"We're alive," Butler muttered.

Sure enough, the elevator had shot right through the roof of the factory and was now rising into the sky like a rocket, and the sunshine was pouring in through the glass roof. In a matter of seconds, they were a thousand feet up in the sky. Mr. Wonka pressed another button, and the elevator came to a standstill, hovering in place like a helicopter.

"How does this thing stay up?" Artemis asked curiously.

"Candy power! Said Mr. Wonka. "One million candy power! Oh, look!" he pointed down at the factory gates. "There are the other children! They're going home!"

Mr. Wonka pressed another button, and the elevator dropped a few hundred feet so that they could get a better view of the people as they left the factory. There were the Gloops, Augustus being curiously thin and covered in chocolate.

"Getting sucked up the pipe must have made him thinner," Artemis deduced.

Then came Violet Beauregarde and her mother. Mr. Wonka clapped his hands. "They got her de-juiced! Wonderful! And look how flexible she is!"

"She's blue," Artemis said.

"She's purple! Mr. Wonka said. "A wonderful shade for anyone! She should be proud. I don't believe there are any other purple people in the world, unless they are living in the sewers. But that is a different story of course! Here come the Salts!"

Mr. Salt and Veruca trailed behind the others, reeking of garbage. The Oompa-loompas had done their best to clean the off the food stains and peelings, but Veruca's mink coat and Mr. Salt's business suit were hopelessly ruined.

"I suppose being dirty is better than being burned to a crisp," Artemis said.

Finally, Mr. Teavee came out of the door, followed by something that looked like it should have come out of a cartoon.

"Is that Mike?" Artemis asked, genuinely surprised. The person was at least ten feet tall, and was as thin as a sheet of cardboard.

"They must have overstretched him on the taffy puller," Mr. Wonka sighed. "How very careless. I shall have to speak with the manager about this."

The unfortunate guests exited through the factory gates, each party getting into one of several Wonka delivery trucks.

Artemis watched them drive away, but he couldn't help but notice a small boy, about his own age, standing on the other side of the road and looking wistfully at the factory. He saw the boy turn and head for a ramshackle house just down the road from the factory. Mr. Wonka must have thought he was wondering about the delivery trucks.

"In case you are wondering, they still get their everlasting supply of candy," he said, "though they might not find it as sweet as they had hoped. I like to keep my word, even to those who do not know how to behave. Now, Connor Lafferty, we have much to talk about." He pressed another button, and the elevator swung up into the sky.

The great glass elevator was now hovering high over the town, its passengers looking down beneath them in amazement.

"How I love my chocolate factory," said Mr. Wonka, gazing down. Then he paused, with a most serious look on his face. "Do you love it too, Master Fowl?"

Artemis was taken completely by surprise. "How did you know…"

Mr. Wonka smiled. "I have connections. How else would I have gotten the Oompa-loompas into the country? Besides, it's no secret among smugglers that a certain ten year old boy has quite a mind for undercover operations, as well as a fondness for my chocolate. And you, Mr. Butler…no need to draw your gun. Yes, I know you have one. You can keep it in your coat pocket."

Butler put his hands down.

"Thank you."

"If you knew who we were all along," Artemis said, "then how come you didn't say anything about it?"

"Because I know how difficult it is to be misunderstood," Mr. Wonka said, his smile softening slightly. "And to want contact with someone you admire. But this is all beside the point. I believe I asked you a question. And I want a genuine answer, not an alias. Do you love my chocolate factory too, Artemis?"

Before the boy could reply, there was a ringing from Butler's pocket. "My apologies," he said. He took out the cell phone and answered it, turning toward the corner so that Mr. Wonka and Artemis could speak without interruption.

"Mr. Wonka," Artemis said honestly, "I think your factory is the most wonderful place in the world."

"I am very pleased to hear you say that," Mr. Wonka said, "because I am giving it to you."

Artemis was shocked. "Mr. Wonka…"

"It's true. I am getting too old to run a chocolate factory anymore. And soon enough, I will be gone altogether. Who will run my factory for me then? I couldn't have an adult do it. They would want to do it their way, not mine. And as intelligent as the Oompa-loompas are, they need someone to protect them and provide a face for the business. Only a good, honest child could do that. I think that child is you."

Artemis wasn't sure what to say. He felt a warm feeling deep in his chest, expanding slowly to fill his entire being. Mr. Wonka wanted him to have the chocolate factory? It was a dream come true! He looked brightly over to Butler, who had finished speaking on the cell phone, eager to share the news. But the look on the manservant's face was grim.

Artemis' joy evaporated instantly. "What was it, Butler?"

"Your father's ship was destroyed. They have not yet recovered his body."

The warmth in Artemis' chest was replaced with ice. His father…missing? He turned toward Mr. Wonka, whose smile had lessened some, but had not disappeared. He seemed eager for Artemis to lay claim over the factory.

"Mr. Wonka," Artemis said heavily, a lump forming in his throat. "I am afraid...I must...decline your offer."

The candymaker seemed flabbergasted. "But…but…you said you loved it…"

"I do," Artemis assured him. "And I always will. But my father has gone missing, and my mother will be needing me. My family's business will be needing me. I would not be able to run a chocolate factory…no matter how much I wanted to."

Mr. Wonka looked down at his shoes. "Who will take over the factory, then? How will I find another good child?"

Artemis remembered the little boy he had seen near the factory. "There might be one closer to you than you think." He pointed down toward the ramshackle house. "Try there."

Mr. Wonka, still shocked by Artemis' decline, numbly piloted the glass elevator over to the little house. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going, and so crashed through the roof. Luckily the elevator came down on empty floorspace and no one was hurt, but the starving family who lived there was none too pleased by the destruction done to their house. All the members of the family glared at Mr. Wonka through the glass elevator, save for one youthful face who smiled in excitement. It was the small boy who Artemis had seen earlier. "It's Willy Wonka!" he cried in delight.

Encouraged by the greeting, Mr. Wonka stepped out of the elevator. He went right to the kitchen cupboards and looked through them, smiling when he came across a toothpaste-cap model of the chocolate factory. Artemis was right. He turned round to see Artemis and his manservant leaving the little house through the front door. "I'll be right back," he said to the family, and ran to the door. He called to Artemis, waving. "Make sure you stop by the factory to get your lifetime supply of candy! Thank you, and good luck finding your father!"

Artemis nodded grimly. There was nothing more to be said.

Epilogue

Artemis was again seated before the multiple screens in the command center. No longer was he monitoring the numerous projects that had seemed so important before. Every screen was devoted to news concerning the sinking of his father's ship, the rescue efforts, scans for information concerning the Senior Fowl that might be spread by phone or internet. He knew that hope of finding his father was slim, but he felt it was his duty to keep up a search, even when the authorities would not. It was also out of obligation to his mother that he conducted his research—after hearing that her husband had gone down with his ship, she had been driven insane. Artemis hoped he could make her better. He missed her.

He did take the occasional break from his work. When Butler brought him tea, he was glad to have an excuse to look away from the screens.

"Any more news on Mr. Wonka's factory?" he asked, trying to make conversation.

"The boy you pointed out to Mr. Wonka…his name is Charlie Bucket. He proved to be quite the Wonka enthusiast, according to the newspaper, and Mr. Wonka did take him and his family in. Apparently the boy is Mr. Wonka's new heir."

Artemis sighed. "I am glad he was able to get an heir even after I refused. Not that I wouldn't have taken him up on his offer."

Butler nodded. "It is unfortunate, though, that you were unable exploit him in some way…aside from the lifetime supply of candy, of course."

Artemis smiled slyly, holding out his hand. "Who said I didn't?"

He uncurled his fingers. In the center of his palm rested a large green marble.

At least, it looked like a marble.