I guess... I wasn't quite done. But now I am. But I just thought Brittany deserved a bit of recognition for her selfless work in this story. Only a small one, and this IS the end.

This is an epilogue.

Brittany's not going to tell Quinn and Rachel, obviously, that their first evening out together is an epilogue, because they probably think it is the start, but Brittany knows better.

The hard work was in the getting together. This bit (all the making out and pretending to be not holding hands under the table) is the easy stuff.

Breadstix is the only restaurant in Lima that she has been in. She isn't even sure if breadsticks are supposed to look like the ones in Breadstix do, but she snaps one in half and puts an end in her mouth anyway.

'Apparently, in France, breadsticks are massive and one is supposed to last a day. They probably feel like Gulliver if they come visit here.'

Rachel is staring at her a bit funny, but Brittany keeps having to remind herself that Rachel isn't as in tune with her as Santana and Quinn, due to lack of exposure.

(Brittany knows she's a bit odd to some people. But, whatever, those people are usually boring people. She doesn't want to be boring.)

(She likes Rachel though. Hopefully Rachel will figure her out eventually.)

(Maybe she should speak slower, and louder, like Mr Shue does when he's saying something to her in that other language.)

'Gulliver, Rachel. He woke up and he was a giant. Like a French person would feel if they were given one of these breadsticks.'

Quinn raises both eyebrows at her from across the booth.

'Why are you using your Spanish voice, Brittany?'

Santana reaches across her to steal the pepper from Rachel's unresisting hand, and applies liberally.

'Because she thinks Rachel might not get what she is talking about.'

It's a bit annoying when Santana answers for her, and she pokes her with the breadstick, before turning back to Quinn.

'Well, Rachel hasn't been around the three of us very often. I operate on a different plane of thinking, Miss Pillsbury said. I don't want Rachel to get turbulence, and like, vomit. Totally not cool on a first date.'

Rachel clears her throat really loudly at this point, and glances once at Quinn.

'This... isn't our first, umm, date, it's just our first outing with you guys.'

What? Brittany frowns at her.

'You are aware that me and Santana have sex together? We're dating, so this is a date for us. And you guys are definitely thinking about having sex with each other even if you aren't actually doing it yet, ergo this is a date for you too.'

Rachel's gone a bit pink, but Brittany's going to get them past this weird phase if it kills her.

'Oh shush guys, you've been making out for weeks now. Like seriously, you're dating. People don't make out unless they want to have sexy-times too, so just say you're dating and stop playing awkward, it hurts my head.'

Santana lays a hand on her shoulder.

'Ummm, B, you might want to stop using your loud Spanish voice now?'

Oh.

Quinn looks like she's deciding whether to walk out or pass out, but then Rachel does this magic trick where she reaches over and strokes once at the base of Quinn's neck, and suddenly she's fine again.

'Thank you for your concern Brittany, it is very sweet. But I meant that we have already been on a 'first date' scenario. This is just us catching up with you guys. And saying thank you for your help during the events of the last few months.'

This is...news. Brittany puts her knife and fork down carefully.

'So wait. Everything is settled now? We don't need to play around with the secrets anymore?'

Quinn smiles at her a bit, and then looks at Rachel, before laughing.

'No, Brittany. Everyone now knows everything.'

This is it, this is the moment when Brittany gets to purge herself of secrets.

'Oh, okay, yay! I've been waiting for forever. I'm just going to say them all, and then I can stop concentrating on keeping secrets. Like, Rachel, Quinn has totally been obsessed with you for years, but didn't figure it out until recently. And also, Santana wasn't off fighting crime that time, I just needed to come visit Quinn with you so I could see what your body was saying. And I totally left Quinn there in her wheelchair on purpose so you could go save her, I'm not a moron. And Quinn, Rachel first realized she was in love with you when she started having sex by herself while thinking about you, back when she was planning a wedding. And everybody knew you guys were hot for each other, we just didn't want to say. It was really awkward there, for a while.'

Brittany sits back, relieved, and prongs a meatball with her fork. Pressure off.

After a couple of moments, Brittany realizes that Santana is doing that weird shaky thing when she is laughing without making any noise.

'What?'

Quinn and Rachel have gone varying shades of puce, and Brittany squints at the pepper shaker suspiciously.

'Seriously, what?'

Brittany drops them both off at Rachel's house after the meal, and she feels bad, because Quinn and Rachel had spent the remainder of the meal incapable of looking at each other without blushing, stuttering, or dropping their cutlery.

Santana reaches over from the passenger seat, and holds a hand up for a high five, which Brittany meets after a moment of confusion.

'Okay, high fives are good, but that was bad San. They were all happy go lucky and then I told them all their secrets, and then awkwardness returned, so bad that I almost couldn't finish my dessert.'

Santana presses her lips together, and then flips the sun visor down to check her reflection by the street lights.

'B, your body language skills are firing blanks right now. That was 'good' awkward. That was 'I can't actually look at you right now because I'm thinking about getting into your pants' awkward. You just can't spot it because you have never experienced being awkward, ever.'

Oh. Oh, well, that could be possible, she guesses.

Due to her lack of experience in the field of being awkward, Brittany tells Santana that sex would be totally appropriate and acceptable this evening, and Santana seems to approve of the suggestion, and they lose a couple of hours rolling around on Brittany's double bed.

Afterwards, as Santana's shrugging on one of Brittany's gym tops, Brittany shuffles across to her cell, slides and taps once.

'Quinn has messaged me.'

'Yeah?' Santana seems to hesitate between pants and no pants, before stepping into a pair of sweatpants she's found in Brittany's cupboard. 'I'm getting a drink, if you want something? What does she say?'

'Umm, hang on...Brittany, I can't decide if I hate you or love you. Rachel says thanks. Don't let Santana read this message. Oh, wait...'

Santana snorts loud, and then full on guffaws for a bit, while Brittany tries to figure out what the hell is going on.

'Oh, B... prepare yourself to be bombarded with messages from Rachel about how the logistics of lesbian sex translate to the bases, I'm betting.'

Brittany stares at her blankly for a moment, before comprehension dawns.

'Oh, oh! Oh yay! Awesome. Well done me. High-fives all round.'

Santana grins like a fool, and disappears through Brittany's door for the kitchen after a moment, leaving Brittany with her thoughts.

Success. Brittany checks her phone to see if she has any messages from Rachel yet. Nothing.

Maybe they'll get her a bunch of flowers to say thanks. Or name their first child after her. Or allow Brittany to name their first child, which would be definitely worth it and certainly require serious consideration.

Brittany reaches for her phone, all ready to ask Quinn whether, when they get married, it'll be Berry-Fabray or Fabray-Berry, because that'll have a significant impact on possible baby names, before she decides that might be a bit much, at this point.

But still. Complete success. All down to her. Brittany lies back, and rests her head in her hands.

She feels like celebrating.

Aaaand... her parents are out.

'San? Clothes off baby!'