Cloud: Okay, so this is a roleplay that grew into an awesome story. I find it quite sad, and I feel like crying whenever we torture poor dave... but it makes this interesting. First Homestuck fanfic!
...would this count as sadstuck?
Oh, and sorry about any spelling or grammar mistakes. You will just have to ignore those.
Warning: Pill popping and attempted suicide. Poor Dave ;A;
Disclaimer: Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie. If I owned it, JohnDave would be canon, and people wouldn't die so often.
Dave was done by tumblr user skillslikepetrenko. She's awesome! :D
turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat
ectoBiologist [EB] joined chat
EB: hey dave!
EB: um, are you there?
TG: sorry
TG: doing something
TG: hey egbert
EB: what are you doing?
TG: just thinking
EB: oh.
EB: what are you thinking about?
TG: nothing important
EB: are you sure?
TG: yeah
TG: yeah
EB: most of the time, when people are busy thinking,
EB: it's something important.
TG: its fine
EB: okay then.
TG: anyways
TG: whats up egbert
EB: oh, not much.
EB: there's this crazy storm right now!
EB: my window keeps rattling.
TG: are you sure that being on the computer is such a safe place to be?
EB: yea, it's fine.
EB: just wind and rain.
EB: freezing cold wind and rain.
TG: oh
TG: thats okay then
TG: well duh its winter
EB: washington isn't awesome enough for lightning storms.
TG: thats why they make texas
EB: i actually really like lightning storms! they are so much fun to watch!
TG: i love a good lightning storm
EB: but the thunder always scares me a bit.
TG: do you need me to fly over there to keep you safe
EB: hehehe, nah. i'm fine!
EB: i would actually love to fly down to texas and watch a good lightning storm with you!
TG: you should come some time
EB: yea! when do you usually get storms?
TG: the weather changes alot
TG: so its unrpedictable
EB: hmm...
EB: i guess i'll just have to come and stay until there is a storm!
TG: yes
TG: yes you should
TG: i would like that
TG: i mean
TG: if you came to see your first lightning storm
EB: well, i've seen a small lightning storm before.
EB: but i was a lot younger.
EB: and i wasn't with you.
TG: are you implying something
EB: huh?
TG: nevermind
TG: you said
TG: no nevermind
EB: i was just saying that it would be my first lightning storm with you.
EB: so it would still be a first.
TG: oh
TG: oh
TG: okay
EB: and it would probably be more fun.
EB: :B
EB: ...dave?
TG: yeah
EB: is there something wrong?
EB: you seem a bit different today.
TG: im fine
EB: are you sure?
TG: yep
EB: you know you can tell me anything! :)
TG: just cherries and cherrios
EB: cherries and cherrios?
TG: yep
TG: have you ever had those together
EB: no, and i've never heard of eating them together.
TG: well when you come down here im making you eat them because its so good
EB: okay!
TG: good
TG: its setteled
EB: lightning, cherries and cherrios.
EB: sounds awesome!
EB: hehehe.
TG: such a good combination
EB: yes!
EB: but not the thunder...
EB: that is the only thing i wont like.
TG: well
TG: ill be there
EB: yea!
TG: so you wont be alone
EB: i hope you wont mind me clinging to you if i get scared...
TG: no not at all
EB: oh my god, i sound pathetic.
TG: no you dont
TG: some of us get scared at such silly things
EB: what are you scared of?
TG: im dave strider im scared of nothing
EB: you have to be scared of SOMETHING.
TG: nope nothing
EB: everyone is scared of at least one thing!
TG: nope
EB: oh come on.
TG: sleep
TG: there
TG: somniphobia
TG: fear of sleep
EB: haha, yea right.
EB: how could someone be afraid of sleeping?
TG: im just
TG: afraid i wont wake up the next day
EB: ...wait, you were serious?
TG: no im just messing with you to be funny
TG: yes im serious
TG: your my best bro i wouldnt lie to you
EB: oh, well sorry dave.
EB: :(
EB: so it's settled then.
EB: when i come over, you will keep me safe from the thunder,
TG: yep
EB: and i will make sure you wake up every morning.
EB: so you don't have to be afraid to sleep!
TG: thanks
EB: you're welcome!
TG: nobodys done that for me
EB: really?
TG: yeah
TG: nobody's told me everything would be fine, or to fall asleep and i will wake up the next
TG: morning
TG: anyways
EB: ...well i will always be there for you.
TG: really
EB: of course!
EB: and you better wake up every morning!
EB: what would i do without you, dave?
TG: i dont know
TG: what would you do
EB: i wouldn't be able to do anything.
TG: im suprised
EB: why?
TG: no nothing
TG: sorry
EB: no, tell me.
TG: got a little sidetracked
EB: please tell me?
TG: no just drop it
EB: why?
TG: its not important
EB: everything is important in some way.
TG: lies
EB: no, it's true!
EB: something that might seem unimportant to one person, might mean everything to another person.
TG: well in this case it doesn't mean anything to anyone end of story
EB: oh come on, dave.
EB: like i said before, you can tell me anything!
TG: no im sorry
EB: you keep getting close to telling me something, and then you just avoid it.
EB: it's frustrating!
EB: :\
TG: im just messing with you bro
EB: ...
TG: what
EB: fine.
EB: just keep avoiding the subject.
TG: okay will do
TG: dont flip your stuff egbert its fine
TG: ugh fine
TG: i o-d'd on pills to try and kill myself
EB: ...WHAT?
EB: why would you do that dave?
EB: that's... that's just...
TG: i knew it
TG: if i told you
TG: youd flip your stuff
TG: god i am so stupid
EB: did you EVER think about it would affect me if you DID kill yourself?
TG: no not really
TG: i just
EB: what could ever push you towards that decision?
TG: life
TG: life sucks john
TG: for me
TG: really
TG: you dont know know how bad it is
TG: you will never know
EB: i wont ask for any detail on your life, then.
EB: but just know this.
EB: part of me would have died, if you had succeeded.
TG: really
EB: yea.
EB: you have no idea how much you mean to me, do you?
TG: no
EB: i always thought i made it obvious.
TG: thats such a lie
EB: it is not!
TG: you've never made it obvious
EB: well i'm sorry then.
TG: no
TG: its my fault
TG: for not noticing
TG: i feel like such an idiot
TG: see this is why i wanted to kill my self
EB: i'm still trying to decide if i should cry, scream, punch something, or just yell at you.
EB: or if i should feel relieved that your plan didn't work.
TG: do all of them. either i do it or it happened to me
TG: so
TG: any would work
EB: i'm going to come down to texas.
EB: and stay with you until you actually get a brain.
TG: oh gee that makes me feel so much better
EB: you have no idea how upset i am.
EB: but i really wish i could hug you right now.
TG: i need a hug right now
TG: bro's gone for the next week
EB: i'm looking at flights right now.
TG: and how are you going to afford these plain tickets
EB: the fastest one is tomorrow morning.
EB: my dad.
EB: he will pay for them.
EB: i just need the one ticket to get down there.
EB: we will worry about the return ticket when i actually need it.
TG: so your seriously coming
EB: yes.
TG: john
TG: you dont have to
TG: really
EB: i do have to.
TG: john
TG: dont go out of your way entirely to help me
EB: you can't stop me.
TG: im not worth it really
EB: you are worth it.
TG: its costs so much for a plane ticket
EB: so?
TG: john dont come
EB: my dad will understand.
TG: really
TG: ill be fine
TG: if i failed once im bound to fail again
EB: i wont tell him exactly what's wrong, but he will probably understand.
EB: you wont fail!
EB: because i'll be there.
EB: i'm not going to loose you, dave.
TG: ...
EB: i will be there tomorrow sometime after noon.
TG: i should probably clean the house
TG: okay
TG: john
EB: yes?
TG: thank you
EB: no thanks needed.
John stepped off the airplane, dragging his luggage behind him. He glanced around trying to find Dave, since they agreed to meet here.
Dave tried his best to hide the limp he had recieved from the bullies that had jumped him behind his school. He also didn't wear the cast for him arm, and wore long sleeve shirts- not to mention the glasses John had given him. He would be fine, right? Dave had found John waiting at the airport, and practically ran up to him, giving him a hug before he said anything.
John just held Dave, hugging him close and burying his face in his shoulder. He wouldn't let him go right away, and he didn't say a word. When he finally looked up, he held Dave at arms length by his shoulders for a few seconds, and smiled. "I missed you Dave!"
Dave flinched when John hit his shoulder. That was indeed his bad shoulder- but Dave didn't say anything. "I... missed you too." Dave replied, a small smile appearing on his face
John stepped back and grabbed his luggage again. "Lead the way!" He kept his smile, using it to hide how worried he was. He had felt the flinch when he touched Daves shoulder. Was Dave hiding something from him? Well, he did promise not to force information out of him.
"It's a walk. So, be prepared." Dave said, looking at John through thick sunglasses. How long could he keep this up for long? Not long. Dave could feel his body weaken. He didn't get much sleep last night, and his body was aching and throbbing. So, he walked a little slower, he walked at pace with John to hide his limp.
"Okay." John could see how worn out Dave looked, but he didn't comment. He was going to treat things normaly, at least until they got to Daves apartment. They walked in silence for a bit, until John decided it was time to break the ice. "So any news of storms coming?" When he looked over at the blonde for an answer, he noticed the limp.
The silence was killing him. It's all good, just a few more blocks and then they would reach the apartment. "Actually, a stormfront is moving in and it should be here by 7-ish. And it's...2:30." Dave looked at John, faking a smile through pained body
"Oh, awesome! I'll get to see lightning my first night here!" The news really did cheer up John a bit, but the small burst of joy melted when he saw how terrible Dave was looking. "Um, are you going to be able to stay up for it? You look really tired."
Dave smiled at John's small excitement. But when John had asked about Dave being able to stay awake, Dave simply smiled again. "Oh yes. I'll be able to stay up all night." He lied.
John frowned, but decided to forget about it. He would make sure Dave got some sleep, even if it did mean he would miss some lightning. "So, are we almost there?"
"Yeah. It's that white building right there." Dave replied as he walked up to the door, hiding that limp again, and proceeded to open the door for John. "After you," Dave said, smiling, and slightly bowing, despite the face he made from the pain in his lower back.
John laughed a bit at the gentleman act, and walked through the door. He had never seen Daves house before, but he wasn't surprised at what he saw. You could definitely tell that Striders lived here. "Cool place!" John said as he turns around to watch Dave enter behind him. "So where should I put my stuff?"
"Oh, just set them on my bed. First room on the left down that little hallway." Dave pointed to the left of the house as he soon turned back around to lock the door. Then it dawned on him- did Dave hide his pills? The pills he been trying to hide? Yes. Yes he did. Behind "The Son of Neptune" on his small bookshelf next to his bed. "You hungry at all?" Dave asked.
"Kind of, but you don't need to get me anything." John walked into Daves room and tossed his bag on the bed.
"Well, in that case. We have time to spare, acutally about 4 hours or so. What do you want to do?" Dave asked, walking into his room, and then proceeded to lean against his dresser.
"Let's see..." John sits down on the bed, and looks up at Dave with a serious expression on his face. "How about we start by you telling me why you're hurt."
"I honestly have no idea what your talking about-" Dave was interupted by his own screams, His arm had slipped while trying to support himself against the dresser, and he ended up knocking into the door, with his bad shoulder. He slid down the wall in response, trying his best not to cry out infront of he best friend. For one, he needed to keep his Strider swag on at all times. Secondly, crying would show how weak he really was. And that wasn't about to happen. "No... Idea." Dave said, getting up slowly, looking at John, though covered by sunglasses, through watery eyes.
John had jumped up when Dave fell. He ran over to support his injured friend, and gently pulled him over to sit on the bed. "Dave, you have to tell me how this happened. You are seriously hurt!" John wasn't letting go of Dave anytime soon after that scene.
Dave sighed heavily, sitting upright on the bed. "It all started about 5 months ago. The guys, at school, they've been giving me such a hard time, John. Really." Dave said, before pulling down the right shoulder to his long sleeve shirt to reavel a deep purple bruise that covered nearly his entire shoulder. Dave looked away to let John see.
John's eyes grew wide at the huge bruise. "Why would they do that to you?" John said gently, looking back up at Daves face.
"Why else?" Dave said, pulling his shirt back up. "Texas hates gay people." Dave replied with a smirk across his face, taking this more lightly than it needs to be.
"Gay?" John was a bit surprised. "You never told me you were gay."
"Been keeping it a secret for awhile now." Dave said. "I know, I should've told you that. It's hard for me to tell somebody my feelings- whats goes on in my life and shit like that. Im such a terrible friend." Dave mumbled at the end, still looking away from John
Instead of saying anything, John just pulls Dave into a tight hug, being careful of his shoulder. "You are not a terrible friend. You are a great friend, and I completely understand how hard it is to tell someone you're gay." John says quietly.
Dave arched his back in response. His back had been sore for the beatings he took, but that didn't stop Dave from hugging his best bro back. Then he heard John mumbling somthing at the end, but it was difficult to make it out. "Did 'ya say something?" Dave asked, the slight "country twang" coming out in his voice- he "was" a texan, after all.
"You are an amazing friend." John said, instead of repeating the same thing. He would tell Dave later. It's his fault for not hearing the first time.
Dave let go of John, and looked at the bright blue eyes that belonged to John. He seemed to get lost in them. The iris color was such a soft blue, well, to Dave that is. Dave shook his head to snap out of it, and looked to the wall infront of him. "So, uh..." Dave rubbed the back of head, the scars on his arm slightly visable, but he did his best to hide them. He put his arm back down quickly, and looked back at John. "Wish there was more we could do, John. Texas takes some lightning storms seriously."
John almost doesn't hear Dave, just looking at his face and thinking. He really wanted to tell him, but he just wasn't ready yet. Maybe during the storm... " Well, what do you usually do here? Oh, and I still need to have those cherries and cherrios!" John smiled, as if everything was normal.
"Oh! That's right! Oh my god, John, you just might flip your shit. Okay. We can have that for dinner. Yes. Cereal for dinner. And well, I don't do a whole lot..." Dave said looking at the bookshelf. He needed those pills to make him sleeply later. But just won't cut it. He would have to sneak 4 or 5 later. He looked back to John. "Well, there's books- yes I read egbert. Oh, got some movies in the living room. We have about 3 and a half hours or so. Want to watch a movie?" Dave asked as he walked out the door, not even bothering to hide the limp he had anymore.
"Sure! A movie sounds great! What are the choices?" John got up to follow Dave out to the living room. He was extremely happy now that he knew he had a chance. He just had to find the right moment, and he was sure that moment would be sometime during the storm.
"Anything from that pile over there..." Dave pointed to the large, neatly stacked piles of movies. Dave limped over to the kitchen, and grabbed the box of giant cherries. He grabbed the box of honey nut cherrios from the cabnit, and proceeded to the counter- and then he heard it- that first loud roll of thunder. "Ah, it appears the storm has come early..." Dave said as he grabbed the milk from the fridge.
John went over and started looking through the pile of movies. There were so many to choose from. As he was looking through, he wasn't expecting the loud rumble of thunder. John jumped and gasped, dropping the movie he had been holding.
Dave watched as John jumped, and felt really bad. So he quickly poured the cereal, added just the right amount of milk, and 6 cherries to each bowl. As the second rolled, Dave, as fast as he could, ran to the living room, even though it was only 8 feet away, and set the bowls on the table.
"Con Air should be in there, John. Sorry it's such a mess." Dave said, trying to lean down to help his friend. "Or, we could watch the rain fall out the window, and the lightning strike. Your choice."
"Well, we don't know how long this storm is going to be, and I want to see the lightning. So lets do it. And we can eat this cereal while we watch!" John got up, excited to see the lightning, but not very happy with the thunder. "We can watch a movie later, and it doesn't have to be Con Air if you don't want to watch it."
"Cool, then." Dave opened the blinds that looked out over the patio, and to the outside. You could see a clear view of the sky. Dave got comfortable on the couch, as best as he could, and grabbed the bowl. All of the lights were off, so the only lights that could be seen where the lights that illumnated the city, followed by the first crack of lightning. Dave took a spoonful of the cereal, milk and one cherry, and ate a spoonful, before slightly smiling to himself
John grabbed the other bowl and sat down next to Dave, making sure to sit as close as possible. He lifted a spoonful of the cereal, making sure there was a cherry on his spoon, and tried it. "Oh, wow! This is so good!" He quickly took another spoonful, and looked out the window to watch the rain.
Dave worked on finishing the bowl off, watching the rain fall with John. This seemed so... Nice. And peaceful. Dave would have missed out on this moment had he, well, you get the idea. "Some of the lightning strikes, and then you hear the thunder. Whenever you see a lightning strike count up in your head. Every 5 seconds is one mile away. That tells you how far the storm is."
"Oh, that's cool! Let's count then." John finished off his cereal and set down the bowl. He looked out the window, waiting for the flash of light. When he saw it, he started to count. "One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven... Eight... Nine... Te-" He jumped at the sound of thunder, even though he knew it was coming this time.
Dave smiled and grabbed John's shoulder. "John. It's okay." Dave stood up, and grabbed Johns bowl. He took both bowls and set them in the sink. "Hey, im going to be right back, gotta go get someting in my room." Dave said aloud as he filled a small glass with water. "Can 'ya manage for a moment with out me?"
"Yea, I'll live." John said, watching as Dave went into the kitchen. When Dave started towards his room however, John got up to follow quietly. He wanted to make sure Dave didn't do anything. He looked into Daves room, trying not to jump at the loud thunder outside, and stayed hidden behind the door as he watched Dave.
Dave listened to hear for John. And when he didn't hear anyone, he reached behind his book, and grabbed a small orange bottle, filled to the cap with blue pills. Dave sat on his bed as he opened the pill capsule and poured 5 out onto his hand. He took each one, then proceeded to grab the other container, taking 4 out of those and swallowing. Dave sat the bottle back, and sighed heavily, slowly getting back up
John watched as Dave took the pills. He just couldn't get himself to move. He stood up straight, and waited for Dave to come out and see him. He didn't notice the tears silently gliding down his cheeks. Dave shouldn't have to do this. No one should have to take that many pills.
When Dave saw John standing there, he nearly broke down and cried. "Oh, god. John. I, uh. Did you see anything? No, no you didn't. Didn't see nothing at all." Dave said, tears falling down his face behind his glassess as he walked passed John to put the cup away.
John grabbed Dave's arm as he passed, stopping him from going any further. "Why, Dave?" He whispered, looking at the ground.
Dave yanked his arm awway. "Because I can and I will." Dave simply stated, walking away. He was angry. His emotions would be off balance for the next few hours or so, a side affect of the deppression pills
"Wait, Dave!" John reached out after him, but Dave kept walking. He let his arm drop, and just stood there for a few minutes before leaning against the wall and sliding to the floor. He jumped again when he heard thunder, and pulled his knees up to his chest. Things had been going so well, why did it have to become like this?
"I don't understand, John! How I never got to be 'Mr. Perfect' for any one!" Dave yelled, slamming the fridge shut. "How I'm stuck here poping pills like some fucking lowlife scum-bag who can't afford to get some fucking help. And those bullies, John. Those guys raped me John! They took full advantage of me and I let them! They told me im a good-for-nothing faggot with no friends." Dave banged his fists on the counter. "You see these, John?" Dave raised his hurt arm as high as he could and pulled down the sleeve, revealing dark and deep scratched that followed from his wrist to his mid arm. "Everytime they'd beat me up, each time I tried to take the pain away. They never go to me! I got to me! I'm my own fucking hazard, John!" Dave sunk to his knees and cried. He took off his glasses, throwing them at the wall. One of his eyes was covered by a heavy purple bruise. "Everytime..." And with that, Dave began to cry.
John got up and walked over to Dave. He was shaking after hearing all of that, but he forced himself to stay calm. John got down on his knees next to Dave, and pulled him into his arms. The thunder rumbled outside, but John completely ignored it. "You're perfect to me, Dave." John started to say in Daves ear. "I don't care what those assholes say. You mean the world to me, and nothing will change that. I'm here now, so we can help you. I'll stay here for as long as you need me. I can't let anything take you away from me, Dave." John kissed Daves forehead. "I love you."
A large crackle of thunder shook the apartment, followed by another. The window's shook from the vibration. Dave didn't even look up when John came next to him. He was too busy mentally slapping himself. That was the last time he would ever spill out his life story- to anyone. Dave was afraid to tell John anymore. But...those words. The words that came from John's mouth soothed him and calmed him almost instantly. And then came the kiss on the forehead. And Dave's emotions instantly stopped. "John...Egbert, I never..." Dave couldn't hold it back- the pills were fucking with him big time. Dave leaned forward, despite his back, and kissed John straight on the lips, no hesitation. He broke away after a moment, red rubys staring into deep ocean blue. "I...Love you too." Dave said, smiling back at him.
Cloud:We love reviews~! And this is going to be a never ending rp. We already have more, but I thought this was a good stopping point. Reviews=more chapters!