Of pumpkins and spirits

It was one day in July that Natsume found a pumpkin resting in front of him on the door mat. It was a nice pumpkin of remarkable size and after Touko-san had marvelled at it for quite some time, it was turned into delicious soup.

The second pumpkin that chose to appear in front of Natsume made him trip over it and he would have fallen if it wasn't for Tanuma who had caught him by the shoulder right on time. There it was, the pumpkin, right in the middle of the road they were taking on their way home from school. It had seemed to have suddenly rolled onto the road out of the tall grass but this wasn't something for pumpkins to usually do.

The two boys shared a confused look but Natsume felt like he knew what might have caused the wondrous appearance of the pumpkin. He wasn't sure if it was the right thing to voice his suspicion out loud, but Tanuma had already caught on to his thoughts for he was trying to follow Natsume's gaze. Even though it was impossible for Tanuma to see spirits as Natsume did, he still secretly hoped to be able to grasp at least one glance at one of them.

"I can't see it either", Natsume finally said, "I suppose it's hiding in the grass. I'm not sure what it is though, so please stay back", he added, throwing Tanuma a cautious look. He then lifted the pumpkin of the ground and slowly started to approach the grass. Something inside of it had stirred and before Natsume could even back off, a little creature had jumped out of it. It landed on the pumpkin in Natsume's hands and he almost dropped it, too surprised by the creature's sudden appearance.

"What is it?" Tanuma shouted, not sure of the actual amount of danger.

"Oh, no, it's ok. It's small and..." Natsume focused his gaze on the creature. It was an ayakashi that looked as if it was put together of vegetables. Its head was a pumpkin and it's body was covered in leafs. Curiously it glanced up at Natsume, then it looked at the pumpkin and then back to Natsume.

"For me...?" Natsume asked. The small ayakashi nodded. "Well, thank you then... I suppose" he smiled, "I believe that last pumpkin was your gift as well? It was delicious, so thank you very much again..."

He awkwardly looked down at the creature that didn't make any attempts to leave the pumpkin.

"What is it?" Tanuma repeated, staring blankly at the pumpkin in Natsume's hands.

"It's an ayakashi," Natsume explained, "just a small one. It gave me the pumpkin. And another one, just recently. It doesn't seem dangerous but it doesn't talk either. I suppose I'll take it to Nyanko-sensei. He'll know what to do."

Tanuma sighed and Natsume could tell that it wasn't just a sigh of relief. "It's got a pumpkin for a head and it's dressed in leafs," he added then to ease Tanuma's curiosity but instead of calming down, Tanuma seemed even more curious. "If it's not dangerous... Then..." Natsume knew what Tanuma wanted, but did not dare to ask. "Why don't you come with me and we'll ask Nyanko-Sensei together?" Natsume offered. He knew how much Tanuma wanted to know about ayakashi. Also, he didn't like it. He found that it was much safer for Tanuma to stay out of this but then again, he was one of the very few people with whom he could share his knowledge and he didn't want to disappoint his only friend by pushing him away. This ayakashi did look entirely friendly and if talking about it to Nyanko-Sensei would make Tanuma feel included and less eager to rush into more dangerous matters, then it was fine with him.

Tanuma's face had brightened up immediately and Natsume felt less guilty than he usually would have as the two of them continued their walk home towards Natsume's house.

Neither Touko-san, nor Shigeru-san were home yet and the two boy made their way right to Natsume's room. Nyanko-Sensei had spent the day eating and the room was littered with dirty dishes. Natsume made an irritated sigh when he let Tanuma into the messy room and made a note to himself not to give food to Sensei for at least two days. He was fat enough as he was anyway.

"Now Sensei..." Natsume started to catch the fat cat's attention. He set the pumpkin, still occupied by the ayakashi, on the ground in front of Nyanko-Sensei, "The pumpkin I found earlier apparently came from this little fellow. Today it gave me another one and now it won't leave. We've been wondering what kind of ayakashi this is. Since it isn't talking to us..." Nyanko-Sensei first stared at the small ayakashi, then narrowing his eyes looked over to Tanuma. "Curious, aren't we?" he said, stretching the words, "You can't even see. There's nothing for you to gain by knowing." he then looked back to the ayakashi.

"No, Sensei, please!" Tanuma almost begged, "I know, I can't see them. But then someone has to tell me. I want to be able to at least imagine those things..." Nyanko-Sensei gave Natsume a clearly disapproving look. Natsume stiffened but his defiance towards the greedy cat only encouraged him. "Yes, Sensei, tell us please. Both of us."

Nyanko-Sensei snorted but started to talk nonetheless: "It's an ayakashi responsible for growing pumpkins. It usually lives in people's gardens and watches over their vegetables, protecting and cultivating them. However, it's unusual for it to leave its garden and even more to give its vegetables to strangers," he scratched his chin, "I suppose," he continued, "it must have lost its garden's owner. These ayakashi can't plant anything themselves. They need humans to do it for them... But, alas, human lives are so unbelievably short."

Natsume looked over to the small ayakashi. "But why are you giving those pumpkins to me?" The ayakashi only looked back with its shiny little eyes without saying a word.

"It's garden's owner is dead. No one will harvest those pumpkins now," Nyanko-Sensei went on, "They'll just go to waste. I guess it feels like at least someone should have them."

"But why me?" Natsume asked looking confused back to Nyanko-Sensei.

"It must have heard about you. You aren't exactly trying to go unnoticed. It must have spread that you're treating ayakashi rather nicely, so that's why it's here. Utter stupidity, in my opinion," he added.

"Is that true?" Natsume asked the ayakashi. It nodded. "Well, thank you then," Natsume repeated. He wasn't sure what to do, now that the ayakashi had come to his house.

"But..." Tanuma, who until now had silently listened to Nyanko-Sensei, while looking at where he assumed the ayakashi, finally spoke up, "if it's garden's owner is dead and there's no one to plant new pumpkins... What's it going to do?"

"It'll disappear," Nyanko-Sensei said shortly, "That's all."

"But... that's bad!" Tanuma retorted, "isn't it?"

"I think so too," Natsume agreed, "Can't we do anything, Sensei?" The fact, that he could actually see the tiny creature with its funny figure and shiny eyes made the idea of it disappearing even worse.

"What? Plant new pumpkins? That's none of your business. If the garden's owner doesn't have any successors, than that's it. That's how it goes for these ayakashi."

"New pumpkins!" Tanuma exclaimed, "We should help, Natsume, shouldn't we? Isn't this what you always do?"

"Well... yes," Natsume agreed, "Sensei, we can't just let it disappear. Planting some pumpkins every now and then shouldn't be too much of a bother."

"Doing all that unnecessary stuff," Nyanko-sensei grumbled, "I'm not taking part in this. There's nothing to gain from it. Well, except for new pumpkins. You can bring me those, when they're fully grown. But for now, I won't move an inch. By the way, when will there be more food? I'm starving!"

"You've had enough to eat," Natsume retorted. He had not expected Nyanko-sensei to offer any help, but the cat's harsh attitude still upset him.

"We can surely do this on our won?" Tanuma asked, "I've done it before. It's not that difficult. And it's not really connected to anything supernatural," he added, when he saw Natsume's doubtful look. "I know you like to deal with these things on your own... But in this case we'll just be doing some gardening. It's more fun when done together," he looked at Natsume, waiting for his approval.

Natsume knew that Tanuma would never do anything against his will and that he'd grudgingly stay at home if Natsume asked him to, but Tanuma had a point. They'd be doing some gardening together. It wasn't like it directly involved ayakashi. The thought of spending time together was surely appealing to him. Natsume had always enjoyed spending time with Tanuma. They would meet up to play Shogi or to visit an occasional festival and these times made Natsume realise what it probably meant to have a friend. They could talk about so many things and Natsume knew that he didn't have to hide in front of Tanuma. Well, that's what he first had thought, when he found out that Tanuma could sense spirits and therefore knew of their existence. Then, however, he had realised, that Tanuma's ability actually made things more complicated. He couldn't see spirits and therefore could neither help, nor even grasp the full extent of what usually happened to Natsume. For his lack of sight, however, Tanuma made up with vivid imagination which in the end, made everything even worse. Natsume knew how much worry he caused his friend and this made him feel incredibly guilty. He felt like he had dragged Tanuma into this, even though he was completely helpless and therefore, he constantly felt like keeping him away from anything potentially dangerous.

Therefore, planting some pumpkins didn't sound too bad. They'd be able to spend time together without him having to worry about Tanuma, while Tanuma would still feel included in some way. Natsume smiled.

"I guess we should do it next Saturday then?" he asked. Tanuma nodded. School was keeping them busy, and as Nyanko-Sensei assured them that the little ayakashi wouldn't disappear until Saturday, they decided to wait.

Saturday came and just as he had announced, Nyanko-sensei made no move to even wake up, as Natsume prepared to leave. He had packed pumpkin seeds which he had earlier received from Touko-san. She had found it absolutely lovely that he had decided to help an old lady to plant pumpkins and had given him plenty of seeds as well as advice.

Natsume loved the countryside. The air was clear, especially in the mornings, which made it a pleasure to breath. With the little ayakashi on his shoulder, he strolled through the fields towards the place where he and Tanuma would usually meet up.

He could see Tanuma's excitement from afar and despite his usual worries this made him smile. He waved and sped up his pace until he stood right in front of his friend.

"So, where's the place we're going?" Tanuma asked curiously. "I don't know, but the little fellow shall show us the way," Natsume pointed to his shoulder where the ayakashi was seated. They still had to walk a short distance to reach the point where they had first met the ayakashi, and since they were in no hurry, they slowly started walking while gazing around and talking about all kinds of nonsense.

These were the times Natsume liked best. Just the two of them (minus the ayakashi) doing nothing in particular. He had been alone with other people before. Like Kitamoto and Nishimura and Natori-san, but those times had felt differently. Spending time with Tanuma always felt special. They weren't doing anything different from what he did when alone with others. Maybe they even did less. They talked less, because often it was enough to just look at each other to know what the other was thinking. Then, Natsume would see Tanuma's reserved smile and feel how his heartbeat would quicken and he would blush and then look away while feeling that Tanuma too, was looking away.

Walking like this they had reached the point where they had previously met the ayakashi and Natsume turned his head to look at it, just about to ask for the first directions. However, instead of pointing or making any sound, the ayakashi suddenly made a big leap and disappeared in the tall grass.

"Wait!" Natsume cried panic -stricken and hurried towards the grass but the ayakashi had not meant to disappear. It made another big leap and turned its head back towards the two boys, as it floated above the grass, before it once again dived into it.

"Run," Natsume shouted and dashed in the direction of the ayakashi's last appearance. Tanuma, at first confused, also darted right after Natsume, as he couldn't see the ayakashi itself.

To anyone else it might have been a curious sight of those two boys running as fast as they could through a field of high grass, every now and then making odd zigzags, for no one but Natsume could see the little pumpkin head poking out of the grass, changing its direction almost at random.

Soon they had left the field behind and the sporadic trees around them began to increase in number. They had reached the woods and it had become even harder to follow the tiny figure that didn't seem to have any problems to dash between all those roots and branches. Natsume did his best not to let the ayakashi out of his sight but it was difficult not to lose Tanuma, who had no idea where the creature was going and had to stay behind, so he could follow Natsume.
"Wait!" Natsume shouted at the ayakashi, but it didn't even turn around. The gap between them kept increasing and if he seriously feared to lose his small guide if he had to watch out for Tanuma. Then Natsume suddenly stopped. The ayakashi kept moving forward, but Natsume waited until Tanuma caught up with him. As soon, as the two of them reached the same level, Natsume grabbed Tanuma's hand and shot forward.

"It's ok," he muttered, as he felt Tanuma's hand jerk in his and tightened his grip in a way that he hoped would feel reassuring. Tanuma's hand relaxed and his pace increased as he was dragged along by Natsume, now without losing the right path. The gap between them and the ayakashi was closing again.

They kept running and while Natsume made sure not to lose their guide out of sight, he couldn't but let his thoughts wander to the hand he was currently grasping in his. Was this, how it felt to hold Tanuma's hand? He suddenly noticed that he had wondered about this before, but then he had imagined it to be somewhat different. Of course, back then he hadn't imagined them running like madmen, trying to follow a tiny ayakashi trough a thick forest. Their hands were sweaty and gripping far too tight. But then again, Natsume didn't mind. It felt good, for the first time in his life, to be able to hold that tight to another human being. He had always wished to be able to hold onto someone and to be led, but right now he didn't care that he was the one leading Tanuma, because he knew that Tanuma was willing to follow him, no matter where he took him.

As they kept running, the forest once again started to clear and then, suddenly, the trees were gone. The ayakashi had suddenly stopped and Natsume and Tanuma ran into a field. It took Natsume a moment to notice that his guide was no longer in front of him and he made an abrupt halt, pulling Tanuma back, who almost lost balance and fell.

"We're there," he gasped. It took him some moments to catch his breath and only then did he realise that he was still holding Tanuma's hand. The feeling however had changed. They were standing now, both breathing heavily and trying to balance each other. Their gip had lightened and finally their fingers were merely touching and then it was over. No matter how natural their joint hands had felt, now Natsume could feel a bright blush creeping up his cheeks and he chose to turn away and look at the field where they were standing now.

Indeed, they had arrived. Not far from them was a tiny cabin, surrounded by a vast, but visibly neglected garden. The ayakashi had hopped onto the garden's fence and was curiously looking at the two boys without even realising, what it had put them through.

The place was downright idyllic and perfectly calm if not for some birds' chirp. As they slowly approached the cabin, they could see some gardening tools neatly leaning against one of the cabin's walls. The vegetable beds lay right next to them.

Natsume sighed with relief. There they were. Their day had just begun. He finally dared to look at Tanuma. Tanuma was still looking away while pretending to examine the gardening tools with greatest interest. His hair was dishevelled from the long run and his breath was still a little heavy. His cheeks were bright red. "I suppose, I don't look that much different myself," shot through Natsume's head and this thought made him smile. This felt good. Like they were sharing something, no one else could have. Suddenly Natsume felt glad that he hadn't listened to his usual fears. Maybe, sometimes one had to give others a chance? Humans ,as well as spirits.

Calmly and without talking, both boys proceeded to take up some of the gardening tools and kneeled side by side on the ground in front of the vegetable bed. They didn't have to talk to understand that both of them felt at ease with each other.

Then, suddenly, Natsume wasn't sure how, the fence behind them broke into pieces and he saw a giant shadow flying over their heads. Next to him, Tanuma let out a stifled gasp and doubled over while grasping his head. Natsume knew: it was a youkai, a very strong one, for Tanuma to be able to feel his presence like this.

Natsume looked up. On the roof of the cabin sat a giant one eyed face. Its body, compared to the face, was tiny and clothed in a bleak ragged yukata. In its small hands, it was swinging a long chain.

"Who are you?" Natsume shouted, while trying to shield Tanuma as well as possible, "What are you doing here?"

"This..." the face spoke in a deep and clattering voice, "... is my place. I do not tolerate intruders of any kind!"

"This isn't your place," Natsume retorted and wished that he sounded strong and confident. Damn Nyanko-Sensei, who chose to stay at home and eat and eat... and... suddenly he felt a dead weight in his stomach. Damn himself. He should've known better. How could he forget his lifelong experience over some light-hearted feelings? He should have known and if something happened to Tanuma now, it would be entirely his fault.

Natsume growled, but tried to put those feelings aide. This wasn't the time for guilt but the time to get the three of them out there alive, for the small ayakashi had already jumped on his back in an attempt to find shelter.

"Of course it's mine," rumbled the youkai, "I came here days ago. This place was deserted which makes it righteously mine!"

Before Natsume could even blink, the giant face had already left the roof and was speeding towards Natsume, Tanuma and the pumpkin ayakashi, while brandishing its chain violently.

Natsume pushed Tanuma to the one side and jumped to the other, the ayakashi still clinging to his back. They managed to avoid the giant face's first attack but it turned around before it even reached the trees and darted back. It threw its chain towards Natsume and for a tiny moment he felt relieved that the youkai hat chosen him as its target. The next moment however, the chain had entangled his torso and he fell to the ground. Another second and the youkai was already hovering above him.

Natsume squinted his eyes. Without Nyanko-sensei he was helpless against a youkai of this power. He felt prepared for whatever was to come but somehow nothing came.

He opened one eye and saw the giant face still hovering over him. But it didn't attack him.

"You face..." the youkai said through gritted teeth, "I've seen you before! It's you! You're the one responsible for my endless quest in search for a place to stay...!"

Natsume's eyes widened. He had seen this reaction so many times before that he knew what it meant. "My grandmother," he shouted, "What did Reiko do to you? Did she take your name?"

"My name..." the face pondered, but before it could say anything else, there was a loud noise. Metal met bone and the youkai collapsed right onto Natsume. He wasn't sure what had happened but the weight was suddenly lifted again, just as much as to be shoved off him, and he saw Tanuma's face. "Did I get it?" we asked hopefully, the gardening shovel in his hands. Of course... He couldn't see the youkai but he had guessed that it must have been hovering over Natsume, so he just went for it.
"You did", was Natsume's sputtered reply but just as he saw Tanuma's shy but hopeful smile on his tired face, he looked away. This was wrong. All of it. The happy feeling of being rescued was wrong and he had to get rid of it before he got Tanuma into even greater trouble. Though, as if this trouble wasn't enough... The youkai was starting to twitch beside him and he was still caught in those chains. He felt Tanuma's hand pulling at the chains, trying to free him, but as soon as he could move one of his arms feely, he shoved Tanuma away. Without looking, he struggled free and reached for his bag. At least he was still careful enough to constantly carry The Book Of Friends with him.

He stood up facing the youkai, at the same time trying to shield Tanuma with his back. "Tell me your name!" he shouted and held out The Book Of Friends, "I will return your name in exchange for this place!"

The youkai had finally recovered from the blow and was slowly turning to face Natsume. It wasn't making any attempts to attack but it looked at him with so much hate that Natsume couldn't but wonder how Reiko must have felt, having to bear with all of it.

Suddenly his mind blacked out and he saw Reiko as a young girl, standing in a forest. Right in front of her kneeled the giant face. Its yukata wasn't as ragged and it was missing the chain.

"You've lost the game," Reiko announced in a haughty tone, "and now for your name!" she held out a piece of blank paper.

"Not my name, please not my name," pleaded the face, "It's this place's name. If you take it, I can never return to..."

"Kamemori!" Natsume whispered. The pages of the book of friends started turning on their own until they stopped at one certain page. Natsume pulled it out and blew. He saw the name fly out of the paper and hit the giant face right in the forehead.

A bright light and the next moment the face was high above his head, "I'm going home," it said calmly before vanishing in mid aid.

Deprived of all strength, Natsume's knees gave in and he felt himself falling. He expected to painfully hit the ground, but instead he was caught in arms that weren't exactly strong but still managed to support him for a few seconds to soften his fall. He felt his back collide with Tanuma's chest and for one short moment he felt relieved. The next moment his brain was already screaming at him. He struggled out of Tanuma's embrace, made a strange leap and landed on the ground a few steps away from Tanuma.

"No..." he mumbled, "Tanuma, no. I'm sorry. You never should've come in the first place..." Out of the corner of his eye he could see Tanuma's face changing from relief to hurt. Natsume knew Tanuma hadn't done anything wrong. Despite being unable to see, he had rushed forward to help him, even though the youkai's presence was hurting him too. Natsume felt disgusting. How could he have been so selfish? Just because he liked being with Tanuma, he had gone and thoughtlessly dragged him into a highly dangerous situation. Hadn't he learnt anything from past experiences? Was he really that stupid? Friends were for normal people. Not for him. Especially friends one couldn't possibly stand loosing. Natsume buried his face in his arms, as he tried to get as far away from Tanuma as he could.

The small ayakashi that had formerly found shelter on his back now stood a little lost between the two boys looking from one to the other.

Tanuma still remained silent. There wasn't really anything for him to say, thought Natsume. He wanted for Tanuma to just stand up and leave and to go on living a happy and safe life as he had before the two of them had met.

Finally, Tanuma stood up. His legs were still shaky because of the youkai's effect on him, but he still managed to walk. He walked past Natsume picked something up and then Natsume heart him talk: "I'm not done yet. That's not what I came here for."

What was he talking? Natsume turned around to see Tanuma standing before him, the shovel in his hands.

"We came to plant pumpkins," he said, "No spirits. Just pumpkins," he tried to laugh but the laughter came out stifled and the next moment he stumbled, the shovel fell on the ground. Despite his exhaustion, Natsume managed to make those two steps to catch Tanuma. Both of them half set half kneeled on the ground. Tanuma tried another laugh: "I'm just a little tired. I just need a little bit of rest... but so do you." Natsume didn't know what to say. The words simply didn't want to come out. He felt Tanuma's arms around him and Tanuma's body inside his own arms. He couldn't tell which one of them was supporting the other but he knew that together they were able to keep their shaky balance. He felt so incredibly tired. It wasn't just the usual exhaustion that followed every returned name but he also felt that his conflicting feelings had taken a toll on him and he let his head sink on Tanuma's shoulder. He felt Tanuma shifting against him to find a more comfortable position and was pleased to notice that the other boy was also starting to relax.

The pumpkin ayakashi was looking at them with curious eyes. They would take a small rest and then they would take the some shovels and plant pumpkins for the ayakashi. So it could stay here and look after them. And when the pumpkins were fully grown, they'd come back and plant some new pumpkins. Because really, planting pumpkins had nothing supernatural to it. It was just two friends doing some gardening.

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