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Chapter 23: Choices

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The longer the silence lingered, the more Seifer's words crept their way into her mind.

'Last time we failed.'

The makeshift countertop was encumbered by the abrupt weight of her body falling against it. But it was either that or the floor was going to have to catch her.

There wasn't a drop of deception in the translucent green eyes that remained locked on her. Instead, an undeniable flash of painful rejection testified to his honesty.

The truth was haunting. One day, the boy Rinoa loved would grow to fear her, leave her, betray her and, if ultimately successful, kill her. She would never meet the daughter they would have one, and because of this, a horrific war would be started that would expand through generations and time itself. And if the eyes penetrating her were correct, through a cruel passage of fate, a younger version of herself would help Squall end her own life.

Except, it would seem that version of herself failed at preventing any of this. If Seifer was right, they seemed to be set in a loop, doomed to repeat the same pattern of mistakes. But why? How? When did she ever have the chance to pick Leonhart over Seifer?

"Remember that testimony you promised me?" Seifer asked.

It took Rinoa a moment before she realized the exact moment she betrayed him.

"The article in the Sorceress Memorial said no one testified on your behalf." Rinoa had trouble swallowing. "I didn't keep my word, did I?"

Seifer's impenetrable gaze didn't alter as the front door swung open with Laguna laboring to drag in the deflated air mattress. Bracing himself against the front hallway from exhaustion, Laguna shook his head.

"I'm not feeble. I'm just old," Laguna clarified between puffs.

Jaw tightening, Seifer nodded once in confirmation.

"Yeah. I guess you didn't," Seifer mumbled before turning his back on her.

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For the most part, Seifer and Laguna went about filling the worn mattress as if nothing had just altered all of their destinies. The conversation remained thin, consisting of what kind of hunting resources were neighboring the islands, and the status of their remaining provisions.

For Rinoa, current physical needs were the furthest thing from her mind. She sat at the old wooden table, too busy dissecting her questionable loyalty. What could have persuaded the future Rinoa to doom all of their lives to this bleak reality? Saving her daughter's Knight would have tremendously helped in protecting her daughter's sanity. Still, something seemed to have diverted her against fulfilling her word.

But that's not all that came from Seifer's inconvenient truth. Did that mean her future self was aware of what's to come? If her future self had already lived through these events, then she would be able to predict every move from here on out, couldn't she? If Rinoa was right, this raised the stakes beyond what Leonhart could ever anticipate.

If Seifer was aware of her existential crisis, he didn't show it as he fell unceremoniously onto the small air mattress that nearly buckled from his weight. Instead of participating in his usual sarcastic snarks, jarring barbs, or salacious banter, he settled into a blank stare at the deteriorating roof above him.

Her agitation quieted as she saw Laguna walked back an old crochet throw. Securely wrapping it around her shoulders, Laguna struggled to bend down onto his good knee.

Taking her cold hands in his, he did his best to warm them before giving into a sigh that deepened the established lines on his forehead.

"Nothing like cold air to keep heated tempers down," he suggested before looking towards the back room where Leonhart had disappeared for the better part of the last half hour.

While she knew that her and Leonhart's time-out would be short, she hadn't anticipated Seifer's chronically ill-timed revelations to leave her mind disheveled. No sooner as one emotional crisis could be dealt with, another one would seem to spring forward.

Sensing her dread, Laguna drew in a long breath before leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss on top of her head.

"I have no right to demand anything from you, but I owe my son more than I can give with the time I have left. If not for me, then do it for the family the two of you made."

Esthar's former president struggled to stand up, and she felt disconnected as she followed his lead towards the back bedroom.

At first, it was almost hard to discern the figures on the bed because the soft light emitted from the nearby candle had nearly been depleted. By the way, his attention was fixated on a stain on the ceiling above him, it seemed like the small girl pressed into his chest was the only thing anchoring Leonhart to this world. It wasn't until the creak of the old timber door broke his thoughts and alerted him to the breach.

The unseen connection between the two of them felt like it had been splashed with ice-cold water, as alarm spread through the bond at a terrorizing speed that knocked her off balance. Rinoa blinked and realized how this must have looked to him. His former psychopathic lover walked in unannounced. The tight protective grip on the sleeping child seemed to vouch for as much.

"I'm sorry." Rinoa bit her tongue, swallowing any further excuses.

Regaining his senses, Leonhart swiftly loosened his grip, causing the sleeping girl to shift just enough to allow her to bring her thumb into her mouth.

The small movement rendered Rinoa motionless.

It's a terrible habit for a child to do, or so Rinoa was told as a child. When her mother passed away all acts of comfort like that one was forced to end- Her father made sure of that.

She reminded herself that Squall was not Caraway, as she observed him extract himself from underneath her. Kissing the top of his daughter's head once more, Rinoa couldn't help but wish she enjoy this peaceful moment for a bit longer, but a darker thought entered her mind.

Would killing her destroy Leonhart the way her mother's death devastated her father?

"I would never abandon her like the way Caraway abandoned you."

In the darkness, Leonhart's tone made those words come off as a sworn promise between the two of them. It put her into a fleeting moment of ease until he started walking towards her with a hardness to his once soft eyes.

"Let's settle this outside." He said, leaving a chill she could not shake.

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Rinoa stumbled off course when she walked out into the nearly uninhabitable island. It took her a second to register the first flake of snow the found exposed skin. Still, when it did, the shock of the world around her slowly being insulated by a sea of snowflakes held her momentarily captive.

This world had fallen into the death grip of a war that would soon span generations, but somehow this tiny spot seemed unaware of all its turmoil. The flakes suspended in the air felt magical to her. Almost like a dream she had as a child. In between the small breaks of cloud cover, the moon bathed the isolated island in silver light, making the figure of a man waiting at the edge of a cliff all the more prominent.

Leonhart seemed unaware of her incoming presence until a crunch of the frozen grass beneath her boots gave her away. His head lifted only nominally as if to acknowledge her, but did nothing to turn his attention away from the churning sea.

Rinoa kept a fair amount of distance between them and allowed the silence to fill the space between them as she surveyed the beauty of the frozen wasteland. It was as heavenly as it was inhospitable, yet, they were somehow trying to find a way to survive out here.

With his back to her, he was the first to break the silence.

"It's early for snow."

"It's pretty," she said surveying area around them.

An old grey cardigan that may have once belonged to Laguna attempted to guard Leonhart against the cold. If it worked or failed in its duty, Leonhart wasn't openly presenting it as he allowed the conversation to lapse.

After a few breaths of painful silence, Rinoa couldn't take it anymore.

"Look, I'm sorry for what happened back at the house." She waited for a second, hoping there would be some natural interchange of words between them. "I wish I could tell you what I was thinking- or why I reacted that horribly, but I don't have any answers for that. The longer I'm here- in your world-the more I can't seem to find a balance."

He still didn't turn around.

"And if I'm honest, it wasn't the first time, either," She admitted. "I should have told you- or someone, but there are times where I feel a dark energy attacking me from all sides. It's like my thoughts become twisted, but I didn't know that it could go that far."

She paused when his head turned slightly, but the silence after her last word remained unchallenged.

"I'm frightened, okay?" Rinoa admitted, tensely. "I don't know what is happening or how to control this. Is this me? Is this from my powers growing? It's impossible to tell anymore."

Rinoa waited for any signs of life from him, and just as she was about to give up, Leonhart lowered his head and let out a long sigh.

"It's my fault."

Confused, Rinoa nudged a step closer. "What is?"

Seemingly uninterested in her presence, his attention remained forward-facing as if the overturning white caps had developed more significance.

"I opened the bond to find you in FH, and that cracked a door that should have stayed closed."

"The bond between you and me, you mean?" Rinoa realized what he meant.

"Not just you and me, but for all of us. There is no distinguishing you from her and, at times, even Tempest." Leonhart continued, "It took years of being physically away to keep it all in check, but being so close to you now…. It's impossible. I'm right back to where I was. She was able to use your connection with me to deliver a message."

The hair standing on end at the back of her neck was no longer from the cold.

"You're telling me that was her?" Rinoa asked, alarmed.

Wait- Rinoa supposed she and her future-self are one and the same, could she really hijack the bond? Was it possible? Was she not even in control of her own mind?

"Hyne, Leonhart," Rinoa touched her forehead in distress. "I thought I was losing my damn mind, and it didn't cross yours to tell me?"

Then fear washed over her.

"Does this mean she could control me?" She asked. "I thought Seifer said that a sorceress couldn't possess a person."

"I don't think it's a question regarding possession," he answered. "Despite being from different times, You two are effectively the same person. The longer you are here, the more our timelines will bleed together. Her anger, her thoughts, are allowed to cross the bond just as I was able to use our bond to get to you."

"Are you safe around me, then?" A tightness in her lungs developed from that realization. "She can't make me hurt you, can she?"

"I don't know," Leonhart responded honestly.

"That isn't the kind of reassurance I'm looking for, Leonhart."

She could perceive his moods shifting between his thoughts. "I think if she could, she would have tried by now. You seem to have some control, seeing as you didn't go through with her impulses."

It had felt real to her. So much so, she hadn't realized it wasn't their reality until Laguna had called out to her. What if there is a next time?

"How sure can you be on that?" Rinoa asked more forcibly.

He hesitated again.

"Great, so you're at risk again," She let out a laugh in despair. "I'm exactly what Lani is afraid of all along."

Leonhart's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by that?"

Rinoa winced, realizing that was not something she was supposed to share. "Nothing. It's not important. "

"What exactly did you hear?" he urged.

Seizing her throw tighter, Rinoa rolled her eyes by how sidetracked they were getting.

"I heard it was Lani's mission objective to ensure Garden you would never return to me- at all costs."

Visibly bothered by this leaked information, Leonhart's brow furrowed forward. "And who told you this?"

Lani, inadvertently. Seifer, in more significant detail. But when in doubt, Rinoa knew it was always safer to blame the bad guy.

"Collins suggested as much in FH."

A puff of breath left its temporary mark in the frigid air as Leonhart struggled to recall much of what had transpired that night. The poison had him hallucinating to the point of nearly calling out his daughter's name. Rinoa was banking on Leonhart having little recollection surrounding their interactions.

"That's not a total and accurate summary of the objective. Lani is not SeeD, specifically. She is a White SeeD, and their mission have never been the same. The White SeeD ship acts independently from the rest of Garden's operation. "

"They were created to keep Ellone safe." Rinoa suddenly recalled, but then it dawned on her. "To keep Tempest safe."

"To keep those vulnerable out of the wrong hands," he agreed.

"My hands you mean," Rinoa interpreted between the lines.

"And mine, if necessary." Squall added. "Sarvis's objective is to protect Tempest. If I'm not strong enough to stay away... I've tasked Lani to take whatever measure was required to keep Tempest from ending up in the wrong hands. If that means my life, I know she is capable."

"Don't you think you've proven yourself already?" Rinoa laid into him, taking a big step towards him.

"Have I? Don't you think I could have tried harder to force you away from me? I know I could have done more, but it's an addiction the way our bonds pull. Every time I think you may be in trouble, I struggle not to end up right back where I started."

"So you're just afraid that our bond will cause you to return to her? Is that why you were so resistant to me?"

"Not the whole reason, no," he admitted.

"Then, why? Why are you so hell-bent on making this harder than it has to be?"

"Does it really matter?"

Rinoa let out a growl of frustration.

"See! This is precisely what stands in our way! What the hell happened to us, Leonhart? Why are we never on each other's team? You don't want to admit that you need me, but you do Squall. You need me to get through this, but at this point, you have given me every reason not to trust you!"

In a moment of vulnerability, Leonhart let out a laugh that was so unexpected that it only served to provoke outrage.

"I'm sorry? Is this funny to you?" She shouted back before reaching down and scraped up a fist full of pristine wet snow.

A pathetically hurled snowball connected with Leonhart's shoulder, leading the surprised gunblader to deliver her a sideways glare over the petty display of anger.

"I don't know if I would say it's funny," he conceded, dusting off the snow. "The truth is, Rinoa, I can't trust her. And you have proven that I can't even trust you."

"Are you being serious right now?" She questioned.

"Hyne knows, I've logically separated you from her, but there are times I'm left wondering if that was a mistake. I see you, and I'm instantly transported back to when times made sense between us. I get to remember who I was before all of this, and I'm suckered punched into remembering how much I fucking love you. Then you remind me that I have no idea if that girl even existed in the first place, Rinoa. You betrayed me first."

His accusations were as senseless as they were painful. sized him up. "I haven't done anything to you!"

Leonhart didn't have to say anything. The challenge was in his stare.

Losing her patience, Rinoa took the bait. "Do you really think I'm here to betray you?"

"Do you think I'm naive enough to believe you ended up here by accident?"

No. Rinoa couldn't believe that anymore either, but Seifer's dealings and motivations were not her own.

"I see the way you and Seifer are together, secretly scheming ways to alter the future," bitterness laced his voice. "No matter what I do, Seifer dead or alive seems to come between us."

This was not the direction she was expecting the conversation to go.

"Exactly what are you imaging here, Leonhart? Are you jealous of Seifer?"

Leonhart shrugged. "And If I were, would that be so unreasonable? From the moment you agreed not to testify for him in my time, I could feel the distance between us grow. You never would say it, but I'm certain that you blamed me for his death."

Her heart damn near jumped into her throat. She did her best not to react to his assertion, but in a twisted way, he might have been. There was only one way to know.

"Leonhart, did you ask me not to testify on Seifer's behalf?"

He didn't answer, but the guilt was written across his face.

"Hyne, Squall…" She whispered, her mind blown, all she could do was close her eyes to keep the world from spinning. That was the missing piece. The moment he asked her to not testify could have altered their lives to this point.

"We all came to regret that decision, but can you honestly blame me?"

She couldn't even look at him. He had no idea.

"Seifer killed his own, Rinoa. He brought Trabia to ruins while killing hundreds, if not thousands, by his action. He showed no mercy while torturing me past the point of where I had a will to live. Do you think I could ever forgive him for that?"

"No, of course not-"

"Really? Because your actions told me otherwise. You wanted me to vouch for Seifer's character. You wanted me to use all the leverage I had to stall his trial. You begged me to save him, Rinoa. You cried at my feet, knowing I couldn't sleep from the nightmares of him throwing you to Adel's feet. My mind was in ruins, but still, you asked me to live in a world where his madness would risk our safety. How the hell was that fair of you to ask of me? What did you want me to think?"

Her defense was the truth. She had done none of these things yet, but it was pointless to argue the point when there was so much more to this conversation that he wasn't privy to.

"You were the one who told me that it wasn't black or white anymore," Rinoa reminded him.

"Knowing what I know today, I can accept that. But it doesn't explain your actions back then. You wanted to save him- like Seifer had done nothing to you. Like he had done nothing to us."

The anger in her quelled at seeing Leonhart struggle to keep in control of his emotions.

"It's not like that," she argued.

"Really?" he rebuffed. "You came here looking for vengeance, but in a few days, you were willingly scheming against everything that mattered to me. Trying to change the future- my world... How can you be surprised that I'm not willing to trust you?"

"That's not accurate," She tried to defend herself but came up short.

"It's not?" Leonhart countered. "This is my world you're trying to change."

"How can you blame me for not wanting something different, Leonhart. Can you honestly tell me you don't wish things had turned out differently?"

"How different are we talking about? Are you attempting to find a way for us to be together or a world where you are planning to leave me for him?"

The inflected blow had Rinoa gutted. "That's not fair."

He recognized that to be true. "I'm sorry for the way I said it, but my question stands."

"At least I now have a sense of where your anger is coming from," she said, placing her hand against her stomach. "You've been living with this idea that I was mourning Seifer as a lover. You think I see this as my second chance, but that's not going to happen."

Leonhart painfully released a breath. "It's already happened once before."

Taking a second to absorb that, she slowly shook her head, confused. Seifer was dead in this time period. "What are you saying?"

"Collins," he leveraged.

Just hearing his name made Rinoa want to dry heave.

"I fought your wars, Rinoa. I stayed by your side until my presence risked your safety. I was willing to sacrifice every shred of happiness so long as it kept you safe, and you repaid me with him? Who exactly am I to you?"

"That's not fair, Squall. I can't answer for actions I haven't taken yet, but it's pretty damn clear that I have lost my damn mind. I have no argument about that," Rinoa responded.

"You showed interest in him since the first day you were introduced at Garden- maybe only a year after Ultemica. I remember you remarking how much he reminded you of Seifer. You can't blame all of this on your powers."

That surprised her. "He was at Garden?"

He nodded.

"He came into the system after the war as an orphan. He had a penchant for control that no one could break him of. I worked with him for a short time, but I never thought he had what it would take to rise in the ranks. From what I've heard, after I left Garden, he was thrown out of the program for being reckless with other people's lives in the training ground. I never expected him to show up at your side- years down the road."

Rinoa looked away. Leonhart's drawn conclusions were nothing but sound from his perspective. He assumed she was replacing a lost love with Seifer. It would entirely explain his wife's interest in that madman. Still, Rinoa knew something he didn't, and the guilt was suffocating her. Out of sheer desperation, her future self may have hoped that Collins could be a stand-in for Seifer's role. What a disastrous miscalculation that had been.

If there were ever a man nearing an edge of a nervous breakdown, it was Leonhart. But what could Rinoa even say to him at this point? Seifer was clear in his instruction not to inform Leonhart about her possibly being here before, but why? What good was holding back at this moment when she could easily erase this pain? Still, she found herself speechless.

Rinoa's heart sank to the pit of her stomach. The tables have turned between them now, and the anger she harbored for his deceit waned.

"What terrifies me most about the future is how fast we started not to trust each other," Rinoa replied. "I understand your mistrust because of who I am in this future, but I'm not here to lose anyone. I don't want to live in a world where you are not in it and don't mistake my compassion for Seifer for something that it's not. I lost too many people in my life, Squall. My mom... My dad... My town. I refuse to lose anything more if I can help it, and those are the actions I'm acting on now. I haven't left anyone behind yet, and I don't plan to. I risked everything when I ran through time compression to find you, but yet, you left me here, remember? Is keeping my daughter away from me some sort of penance? Is that what this is all about? Because if it is, that may have to be the difference between us. Right or wrong, a life is a life. I don't want to choose between one person or the other."

Leonhart's eyes fluttered to the ground with that statement. Selfishly she wanted him to feel the pain she felt, no matter how immature as it was.

The cold seemed to numb them both now as they stared at each other in a deadlock waiting for the other to blink, but it was Leonhart who broke first.

"I wasn't trying to punish you, Rin, " he whispered. "I was left with an impossible choice. I thought it might be the only way to save you."

She stopped, as it took her a minute to process the shift in conversation.

"What?" She questioned in disbelief. "How does leaving me behind save me?"

Stressed, Leonhart drew his fingers through his hair to find a way to explain himself.

"I don't think you had any intention of telling me that you were pregnant. When you did, it was behind Collins's back. When I left to be by your side, it was apparent things were not alright with you, but you kept me at a distance. You would never speak to me alone in a room. You all but shut me out again. So I waited, because what else could I do? "

The snowflakes around them slowed as the passing storm seemed to spill a deafening stillness around them.

"The night before our daughter was born, you came to me petrified, urging me to take you away. You wouldn't explain yourself or answer any of my questions, but it was clear that you were frightened of Collins. His ambitions were taking over yours."

All Rinoa could do was close her eyes.

"I thought I needed time to come up with a plan, but I should have just taken you right then and there," Leonhart paused, his hands were shaking at his side.

"Why didn't I?" He challenged himself slowly. "I failed to anticipate the enemy, and we all paid for my mistake..."

The realization dawned on her. "The accident I was in... It wasn't really an accident, was it?"

She could sense the distress from him as he silently looked down. His emotions were getting the better of him.

Rinoa cursed under her breath. "When I see that bastard again…"

"You were the most guarded woman in the world, how could it be an accident?" He reasoned. "Of all the assassinations attempts to have been thwarted... This one slipped by? I didn't buy it."

"But If I was the source of Collin's power and control, what would be his motivation?"

"That's exactly what I couldn't understand. I needed more information about the accident to know for sure, but I didn't dare leave your side- and there was no time." There was a brief pause before Leonhart continued, "I haven't told many people about this, but I asked Zell for help."

Rinoa's heart jumped just from hearing her friend's name. "Zell?"

Leonhart gave a simple nod. "He was the first to learn about everything, even about Tempest. Zell and I hadn't been on good terms, but when I explained how you had begged for my help the night before the car crash, he agreed for your sake. While they did attempt a cover-up, the whole thing had been rushed, and Zell found the body of the driver. It was a woman."

When Leonhart realized she didn't get the significance, he took a step closer. "It was your policy to never be around, nor employ a woman due to the threat of succession. It was enough proof to me that this hasty plan had been set into motion because you had come to me. He knew he was losing your confidence, but they miscalculated with the driver dying, and our daughter surviving to inherit the powers. But in the end, a child would still be easier to control than you. I knew then my time to act was limited, and I asked Zell to arrange us an escape route out of the country."

"But you didn't leave with the both of us," she pushed. "Why?"

"With you in critical condition, an extraction plan had a high risk of failure, but death seemed a better option then what we had, but then.." His face contorted. "Word came in from Esthar about who Tempest would become. The risks turned into something I couldn't live with."

"So that's it, then. You just left me there, Unconscious?"

"Collins was going to finish what he had started, one way or another. The risk of our plan failing not only now put your life in jeopardy but was essentially handing him a bomb. Our daughter would only ever be a weapon to him. There wasn't time to think," Leonhart stated. "If our daughter was out of his hands, you being alive had more worth than being dead. Without your full power, he needed the people's loyalty, which you still commanded. I couldn't see any other way through this."

Caught in a moment of silence, Leonhart's attempt at being stoic failed as searing tears fell to her cheeks.

"That doesn't explain why you didn't come back for me." The strength in her voice faltered as her genuine emotions claimed her words.

"I did." Leonhart's expression twisted as he fought her accusations. "Rinoa, we tried."

The tears burned her cheeks as she shook her head, "What do you mean, we?"

"There was no way I could return and live." He drew close enough that he could have reached out and touched her. "I didn't have Garden's support, yet Quistis went on a rogue mission to extract you, but by then, it wasn't welcomed."

Her friend's mangled face flashed, causing her stomach to turn. "I refused to go?"

"I don't doubt Collins used my transgression against me. Still, a part of me held out hope you would understand and believe that the choice I made was the best I could do. But when Quistis's team largely returned in body bags, I knew my wife would never trust me again."

"You used Zell..."

He nodded, knowingly.

"I told him I was getting you out to protect you, but I betrayed his trust."

"You made him an accessory to your crime." Rinoa now understood why Irvine held on to his conditions. "Zell is never going to agree to help you after what you've done."

"There is a good chance he will kill me if he gets the chance. If the roles were reversed, I would want the same," he agreed. "You know everything else, now. Quistis fell on the sword for me at Garden. Laguna faked his death and Ellone superseded him. She was able to use her political clout to pressure Garden into accepting Cid's dying wish to allocate the White SeeD group to me."

The silence of the island around them made this feel less like reality to her. She used the edges of the blanket to wipe the tears away, but seeing him unable to hold his own back as he looked to the heavens for solace only made them come more. They were two people trapped in an unknown destiny that was hell-bent on breaking them. By all accounts, fate was winning.

"I told you from the start that I was not the hero in this. My actions came from a lack of choices. I recognize I have no right to fall apart like this, but having to answer to you, like this, for my crimes knowing how our paths will have to reconnect again... Knowing I have to take your life like Collins tried to do. It's killing me. I haven't been whole since the night I left with Tempest, and I don't know what will be left of me after this."

Rinoa had no intention of doing what happened next, but she felt the space between them disappear. Her anger was far from subsided, yet she was holding on to him tightly in a way that was both foreign as intrusive. She wanted to scream. Honestly, she wanted to curse the living life out of him and everything around her. Still, this act of physical touch was not about sympathy, it was her act of defiance against the darkness that wanted to consume her. She was not going to allow it to take her mind from her again.

Despite the uncomfortable rigidity he displayed, she refused to let go.

"I can't find it in myself to forgive you right now, Squall," Rinoa admitted through clenched teeth. "But I will repeat this as many times as I have to. I'm not letting go of you unless you tell me to. I'm not going to stop fighting for the people I care about- no matter how badly they have fallen. We're going to get through this together, or I'm not planning on making it back home."

He never embraced her back, but Leonahrt's body stopped fighting against her touch. She was afraid to let go. Afraid that if she did, she would pull back to find the same empty soul she met on the ship only a short time ago and frightened to acknowledge how her own feelings may have changed.

"I'm going to testify for Seifer, but I'm not doing it for the reasons you think. Knowing what I know now, I think he has earned a chance at redemption."

"It's futile, Rinoa." Leonhart's voice was like a whisper in her ear.

"I know it's probably not enough," She admitted, knowing that she was going to be on her own on this. "Maybe we can't ever really change the past, but I have the right to believe that I have some control over my own timeline. I need to see this through, Squall. I have to know that I tried."

"Nothing you do will alter Seifer's fate, Rinoa." Squall's voice was damn near gravel in her ear. "Your being sent on a fool's errand."

"What?" Her question was hardly a breathless whisper.

"A knight without his sorceress was not a threat to our world."

"That means he has a chance," Rinoa interjected, but Squall broke from her grasp, and while their bodies still touched, there was a distinct division between them.

"No. He carried out the atrocities they charged him with, and Seifer won't give Garden what they need to spare his life."

"And that ist?" She asked.

Leonhart pensively studied her. "You."

Words failed her as the high-strung emotions she once felt seemed to drain.

"All Seifer had to do was admit at his trial that Ultimecia had possessed him, and Garden would have allowed him to walk away."

She did not need a history book to know what likely happened next. "He didn't do it."

"Seifer claimed on the witness stand that the acts committed were done with his full facilities intact. He took Garden's one opportunity to establish you as a threat to me, Garden, and everyone around you from them. He sealed his fate to spare yours."

Her mind was numb. "He shouldn't have done that."

"If you testify on his behalf, you would endanger the only selfless thing he has done for you. That was his moment of redemption. I won't step in. None of the others will. The only reason I stayed with SeeD for as long as I did after was that I didn't trust that they would stop coming after you. I thought if I was in their control, it would give them some peace of mind regarding you. The truth is the world is never going to be ready to accept you."

"Squall, if Seifer doesn't live, our daughter will lose her sanity."

"I wish Seifer had not been at that television station, but his fate was in his own hands when he made that vow. I just hope to protect her now. She has Odine's bangle, and that will buy us time. I don't know how long, but I'm not giving up without a fight."

Except that promise was not made by Seifer until he met her in the future, and it was clear that the bangle she wore now would not stop her daughter's fate. Every time Rinoa thought she saw a glimmer of hope, a wave of new information would wash it all away. Can one alter nature's course in any real way? Rinoa's attention turned to the unsettled sea behind Leonhart, wondering what it would take from them to smooth out a storm a single promise had created.

Neither one of them said anything as they crossed the snowdrifts back to the shelter that had fallen dark. As Leonhart returned to the backroom, Rinoa found herself wide awake on an over-inflated mattress with nothing but a slight hum teasing the edges of her mind for answers. Rejecting the intrusion, Rinoa rolled over and turned her back to the fallen knight.

"And just like that, he was able to talk you out of helping me. Didn't he?"

ooo000ooo

The sounds of giggling roused Rinoa out of deep slumber. Cracking one eye open, she could see what was so amusing. An air mattress of this size did little to accommodate Seifer's build. Flat on his back, his weight disproportionately over-inflated Rinoa's side, having caused her to roll in. But this led to an awkward state for both of them. Rinoa was smushed up against his side, while Seifer's legs drooped wherever they were stable enough to rest. One arm was above his head, and the other was stretched across her to serve as a counterweight.

Tempest hovered over Seifer, gently tracing small circles on his face until it twitched.

"Fuck off, Heartilly!" Seifer half-asleep swiped, but missed, causing the entire mattress to roll out from underneath him.

Now awakened by the hard ground, Seifer's growl could be heard through the whole house. "You're so dead, shorty."

With a yelp, Tempest was barely able to scramble backward in time to escape Seifer's attempt to grab one of her ankles. Not willing to stick around to see where this would land her, she fled back to the safety of the tiny kitchen's corner. In the commotion, Rinoa had been thrown forward, giving her a prime seat to witness Seifer cursing at the floor.

"I swear to Hyne, I hate kids.!" He slammed his fist into the ground before finding his way to his knees. "You will get the biggest Coochicoo treatment of your life! Ever!"

"Cuchi coo treatment?" Rinoa asked, ribbing the unexpected soft side he was displaying.

Feeling slightly embarrassed, Seifer scratched the back of his neck as the front door opened, letting a gust of early morning air in.

"Ah, finally up now, then?" Laguna asked, hammering his boots on the door frame as Tempest dashed from the kitchen past him. Steadying himself against the frame, Laguna only raised an eyebrow in response to his granddaughter's antics before looking over to Rinoa.

"What did she do now?"

With a half-smile, Rinoa met Seifer's death glare.

"Nothing we wouldn't do if given the opportunity."

Seifer snarled as Leonhart groggily shifted his way from the backroom to the kitchen.

"Is there coffee?" Leonhart's gravelly voice made the hair at the back of Rinoa's neck stand.

"We have coffee?" With her interest peaked, she pulled herself to the edge of the air mattress. "Oh, please don't tell me we are still playing that make-believe game."

"The instant kind, but water still needs to be boiled," Laguna replied, shutting the front door.

"How are you always so upbeat in the morning, Laguna? Don't you even need coffee first?" Rinoa inquired.

Moving to the kitchen to turn on the hot plate, Laguna addressed her over his shoulder. "You know? I think I've always been this way. The early worm gets the Bird, you know."

"I hate everyone here." Seifer groused, still in a kneeling position.

Rinoa carefully maneuvered off the bed around the blonde Knight, occupying much of the floor.

"Trust you slept well enough?" Laguna asked, as his son shooed him away from the pot of water.

Wrapping the blanket around her shoulders, she nodded before looking at the old mattress. "I'm not sure this thing has another night left in it."

With a laugh, Laguna, "Well, hopefully, we are all onto better places. Should I cook breakfast?"

"Ah..." Seifer pushed off from the floor, as Squall looked at Laguna with dread. " I've got it this time, pops. Take a load off."

Laguna shrugged as he slipped into a chair at the kitchen table. "Alright, then."

"Is there a designated place to freshen up?" Rinoa asked.

"Just outside, but I'm afraid it's just seawater," Laguna grimaced.

"Beggars can't be choosers," Rinoa noted as she zippered her boots up to brave the outside morning air.

The snow that had landed the night before was already nearly gone, but the wavy grass plains still made an audible crunch beneath her boots. If Rinoa turned her face towards the sun and closed her eyes, she could almost make out a slight warmth, that was until the crisp breeze blew it away.

Laguna must have just carried the bucket up from the beach, as it was frozen to the touch. There was a great temptation for her to use a spell or two to raise the water's temperature, but she could sense the two little eyes watching her. She could only imagine how well that would go over with Leonhart.

Rinoa dipped her hands in, grimacing, before splashing her face with vigor. When she was done, Rinoa sensed Tempest watching her from around the corner. Feigning surprise, she smiled as their eyes met.

"Morning," Rinoa greeted, unsure if it was even appropriate for herself to that much. "Did you sleep well?"

She was surprised to see the young girl come out from the corner. She was skittish as a cat, carefully observing Rinoa every movement. No doubt, that was her father in her.

"I did, but dad didn't," she replied. "He never sleeps well when he dreams of you."

Her breath hitched as Rinoa was taken aback. "Is that often?" She had no idea why she felt compelled to ask her that, but a part of her was afraid.

"Yeah, but they're different yous. Sometimes you make him laugh, but then he wakes up crying." She seemed to remember herself then. "I'm not supposed to see that."

Rinoa looked around and gave her a small wink, "Your secret is safe with me."

The little girl was still pensive as she delivered a half-smile. "Are there others like us?"

Rinoa was stunned into silence, not knowing if answering was the right thing to do.

"No," Rinoa whispered, "I think it's just us now."

Anticipating a reaction, Rinoa waited for the little girl who seemed to mull that over very carefully.

"Do you like finding seashells?"

It happened so fast that Rinoa couldn't even recall her answer, before finding herself scouring the gravel beach for shells the tide left behind. The two of them started to hunt for the smallest one they could find. And found themselves in a fit of laughter as Rinoa accidentally picked up one that was still inhabited by a crab and screamed before throwing it back to the sea. Tempest was overcome by the idea that an adult would be scared of something so tiny

The bangle around her neck caught the morning sun, catching Rinoa's eyes. It was the first time she was able to see it up close, it was composed of three different metals woven together. It was far more utilitarian in design and less decorative than the one she had attempted to put on Edea in her time. In the center, a stone Rinoa couldn't identify was fastened with three different metal wires wrapped in a woven pattern. A mysterious force from it kept Rinoa's gaze too long as she struggled to look away.

That's when Tempest's laugh ceased upon realizing what had distracted her.

"Your necklace is beautiful," Rinoa said, having a difficult time looking away.

The girl's hand instantly went to it as she took a step back defensively. That was enough to snap Rinoa out of her haze.

"Oh, No! I didn't mean anything by that. You're just lucky to have it." Rinoa stammered, feeling her cheeks go red.

Still holding the necklace, Tempest continued their walk along the beach.

"My daddy made it for me," she responded after a minute. "He says it keeps me safe."

The air was abruptly too cold to breathe as Rinoa down at the pebbles along her path.

"He loves you very much," Rinoa said.

"He says there are bad people in this world." She suddenly turned towards Rinoa with slight excitement. "Have you seen them?"

"Bad people?" Rinoa asked, trying to guess what answer Leonhart would approve of. "A few."

"Did Seifer defeat them all?" The girl nearly danced on the tip of her toes as she imagined what that must have been like. Rinoa couldn't help but laugh at how innocent she seemed, probably imagining a battlefield from a bedtime story, or worse yet, saw the movie her Grandfather acted in.

"I've seen him take out one or two," Rinoa, confirmed in stride. The sweet smell of the ocean lingered in the breeze.

That idea seemed to have pleased her. "He's my knight, you know?"

Rinoa nodded, "I do."

"Don't you have one?"

Rinoa's next step hesitated, as again she wasn't prepared for such a personal question.

Settling on honesty is being the best policy, Rinoa nodded. "I do, yes."

"Where is he?" Tempest circled in front of her, blocking her path. i

"We were separated a while ago," Rinoa conceded. "I'm on a mission to find him, actually."

"Can't you just call him?" The girl asked, her hair wild from the wind.

"Uh.." Rinoa stalled, thinking of how best to answer. "I think he's a little too far away for me to do that."

"But you were born like me?" She asked quickly.

"No, I was given my powers," Rinoa responded with a smile.

"By who?"

She cursed herself for walking into that one. Rinoa knew that the truth, in this case, wasn't appropriate. But by the way the young sorceress was staring at her, this was likely the first time she had met someone with powers similar to hers. Due to her circumstances, she probably had little contact with people her own age, let alone people from the outside world. Her young mind probably swarmed with questions she didn't know how to ask. And damn it, Rinoa wanted to answer those questions for her, if it helped her, but this one held her tongue-tied.

Looking beyond her daughter for a distraction, Rinoa caught the sight of something reflecting in the early morning sun.

"What is that?" Rinoa asked as Tempest turned to look down the beach's path.

It was something that the waves had pushed up over the night, and from where she was, it looked heavy by the way it had sunk into the beach.

"It's a cargo pod," Tempest recognized, timidly.

Rinoa's mind went blank as the bond became active from her alarm. She touched her daughter's shoulder as she maneuvered around her to get a closer look.

Rinoa set out in a dead run, ignoring the young girl's appeals to wait for her. Her stomach twisted as she arrived to further confirm it was, in fact, a sealed pod with markings she had never seen before. Dread sank in, as Rinoa vaguely recognized their mysterious markings were in Etharian. That meant there was no possibility that this could have been leftover from the night before. As the seal broke with a loud bursting hiss, allowing Rinoa to lift and drag the heavy lid to the side.

"Lani!" Tempest screamed as Rinoa dropped the lid and held her back.

It's as Rinoa feared. Sarvis laid blue with an oxygen tank nearly depleted. It was impossible to say how long she had been out here, but Rinoa could tell there wasn't much time.

Without thinking, Rinoa leaned down and checked for a pulse.

"Is she going to be okay?" Tempest struggled not to cry.

It was slow, but there was a pulse. Rinoa removed the oxygen tank and casted a dispel, immediately returning Sarvis into an unpleasant reality.

Gasping sharply, Sarvis struggled to draw air as her body convulsed.

"Sarvis," Rinoa called out, trying her best to calm her down before she could hurt herself. "Do you hear me, Lani? It's Rinoa? I need you to hold still!"

"She's not going to die, is she?" Tempest asked, trembling.

Rinoa looked over her shoulder, "Tempest, go get your dad."

The girl stood their wide-eyed, prompting Rinoa to take a more forceful stance. "Tempest, go!"

This time the little girl turned and took off towards the house, but with the way Rinoa's bond was sent a blazed, Rinoa knew that the others were already aware something was wrong.

Sarvis, unable to catch her breath, fell into another coughing fit that rattled her entire body. Rinoa drew her arms around her shoulders and propped her up in her arms, hoping to improve her airways.

"Sarvis?" Rinoa pressed. "Can you hear me? It's going to be ok. Leonhart is coming…"

Sarvis's hand landed on hers, squeezing it tightly. Her skin was cold and clammy to the touch, she must have been out here all morning- far past what was considered reasonably safe.

"He's coming," Rinoa tried to reassure her, as Lani's chest heaved, but she knew it was a losing battle. Lani was slowly starting to lose consciousness once more.

"They're… here..." Lani faltered, between spasmodic gasps.

With that, her head fell backward.

Ooo000ooo

Layla's Corner:

Wow, it's been awhile. First, I apologize for that. A lot of things happened in my personal life where I had to put me and my children first. It really took me awhile to figure out my own head space so I could start to write again, and when I did, this chapter hit too close to home. I can't say that it turned out exactly how I wanted it. For practical reason, I covered some aspects of the story again that I'll likely remove as people "remember". I also wanted to dive deeper into the Squall and Rinoa bit but I think that's a battle that will come out over the course of a few chapters, rather than all at once. So, here is my unedited, unbeta chapter. I just felt the need to push it out so I can keep going. I'll likely come back and overhaul it at some point.

I want to thank everyone who posted- even posted again years later to keep encouraging me to come back. It really kept my motivation up to return. I will finish this story one way or another. Even if it's just a summary. I promise! You guys rock.