Rating PG-13 for minor language and mild references to sex

Chapter 8: Advice For A Groom On His Wedding Day

"Will you sit down? You're actually dressed decently for once and you're going to mess it up by ruining the lines of your suit."

Eames stops in the middle of his pacing to turn to Arthur and five month old Noah, the latest addition to his and Ariadne's family.

"I can't. I have all this…energy. I won't be able to sit still." Ignoring Arthur's request, Eames continues pacing in the little room. "I suppose it doesn't help that I keep imaging a scenario where she won't show up." Eames stops again to turn to Arthur with a worried frown. "What if she changes her mind?"

Arthur has never seen Eames look or sound more vulnerable. Seeing him in such a state, he decides to do his duty as Eames' best man and help calm the groom's wedding day jitters. But not before he gets in his own ribbing.

Rising from his seat with Noah in his arms, Arthur walks over to Eames.

"It is entirely possible. Everyone knows Cassie is too good for you."

"What kind of best man are you? You're supposed to be helping me, not giving me panic attacks!"

Unconcerned with Eames' theatrics, Arthur laughs and reaches out a hand to adjust Eames' tie which has somehow become askew. "I'm just repeating your words. That's what you told me when I got married, remember?"

"I remember you being a nervous twat and me talking some sense into you."

"Well, consider this a repeat of that, only now our roles are reversed and you're the nervous twat and I'm talking some sense into you."

"Yeah, well, I'm not hearing much sense coming out of your mouth."

Arthur laughs and continues to straighten Eames' suit. "Your Uncle Eames is just a mess, isn't he Noah?" he addresses his son. "He's driving himself crazy and ruining the effects of his fine-tailored suit. We're going to have to teach him about the proper wear and care for his formal wear, aren't we?"

"I'm not sure a lesson from a baby eating his tie is going to help me." Little Noah, aside from looking like a miniature Arthur in his adorable miniature tailored suit, is happily slobbering away on his clip-on tie. "And aside from silly rhymes, I'm still not hearing anything of sense coming from my best man."

"Alright, you want some sense? Here it is. You're being ridiculous. The woman you're marrying today is a wonderful person. She's decent, intelligent, witty, and kind. But perhaps her most impressive quality, and I can't stress enough how impressive this is, is the fact that she loves you. Cassie loves you, Eames. She knows your faults and imperfections and she loves you. She knows the good and the bad and she loves you. And in a few minutes, she'll be walking down the aisle to tell you and god and everyone how much she loves you."

"She does love me, doesn't she?" Eames smiles, a little dazedly, almost as if he's realizing this for the first time. "You're right. I know that. I am being ridiculous, aren't I?" Eames seems to snap out of his self-doubt and heads over to the dressing mirror to check on his appearance.

"Can you believe I'm getting married in a church? I thought for sure god was going to strike me down once I entered."

"Maybe he's waiting until you're in front of the altar. It'd be more dramatic that way."

Eames catches Arthur's eyes in the mirror. "You're not helping," he warns.

Arthur smiles and returns to his earlier seat. "Alright, I'm sorry."

A knock on the door along with a muffled, "Uncle Eames, it's us!" is quickly followed by the flower girl, the ring bearer, and their mother entering the groom's dressing room.

"We just saw Cassie, Uncle Eames," Elizabeth announces. "She looks so beautiful." The girl lifts her hands and does a twirl. "Like a fairy princess."

"Good. Good." Eames checks his hair.

"I'm the ring bear. Rawr! Rawrrrr!" David, who had misunderstood his role as the ring bearer, makes growling noises towards Eames. Eames had told the little boy that he had to protect the ring as he carried it down the aisle. David took that to mean he could growl like a grizzly bear at anyone who threatened the ring's safety.

"That's nice, David," Eames says absently as he continues to fidget with his already immaculate suit.

Ariadne shares a look with Arthur, both noticing Eames' uncharacteristic responses and behavior. "She'll be ready soon, Eames," she says. "We came in to tell you that you should head to the altar now."

"Yes. I'm almost ready. Let me just fix my tie." Eames makes one adjustment after another. Still unsatisfied, he pulls it out from under his waistcoat. "Why won't this damn tie cooperate!" He loosens the garment in a frantic pull and removes it completely.

"Uncle Eames!" Elizabeth gasps. "You said a bad word!"

"Eames?" Ariadne turns to Arthur. "What's wrong with him?"

Arthur gets up and hands Noah over to her before taking the tie away from Eames. "He's got a bad case of wedding day jitters. Here, let me help you with this." He fixes Eames's collar and quickly starts to redo the tie.

"You're his best man. You're supposed to get him over this," Ariadne admonishes.

"I did. At least, I thought I did. I tried."

As if finally deflating by the weight of his own anxiety, Eames sinks into a nearby chair. He looks around him, at the worried faces of his adopted family, and sighs. "I'm not sure I'm ready for this."

"'Cause of the wedding jitterbugs, Uncle Eames?" Elizabeth cautiously approaches her uncle.

"It's more than jitterbugs, Lizzybell." He pulls the little girl onto his lap, needing the comfort and strength he always feels when he holds one of the children. He's finding he needs that strength now, more than ever.

"What are you saying, Eames?"

Eames looks up at Ariadne holding her youngest son. Close by, Arthur stands seemingly at the ready for whatever Eames decides. At his side David clings to his leg.

"I don't know if I can do this. I'm not sure I know how to be married or if I can even be a good husband." He also has doubts about being a good father, but that seems so far away, if at all possible, that he doesn't say anything about it.

"Eames, that's ridiculous. You're going to be fine," Ariadne assures.

"Yeah, you're worrying too much." Arthur clasps his hand to Eames' shoulder.

"But what if I mess things up? What if I do something stupid?"

"Well of course you're going to do something stupid. All men do. That's not exclusive to married men. But if Cassie loves you, really loves you, then she'll love all of you, stupidity and all."

"That's pretty much what Arthur told me earlier," Eames muses.

"Well, he's right."

Elizabeth, who had been silent for quite some time, tugs on her uncle's lapel. "Uncle Eames?"

"What is it, Lizzybell?"

"I know how you can be good at being married."

Her serious declaration makes him forget some of his anxiety and he smiles. "You do? Well, okay, let's hear it. What's your advice?"

"Well, first you have to always kiss each other and smile, like you're very happy."

"Okay, kiss and smile a lot. Is there anything else?"

"Yeah, there is. You also have to make sure there's always coffee in the morning, 'cause if there's no coffee, then Cassie might be grumpy, like Daddy."

"Okay, so kiss and smile a lot and make sure there's coffee. Got it."

"And also, you should tell her she's pretty, even when she's wearing an ugly dress. And she should tell you that you look handsome, even when you wear those shirts that Daddy says you should burn."

Eames looks up to catch Arthur trying to hide a smile.

"What's wrong with my shirts? Cassie likes my clothes."

"That's good." The little girl nods in approval. "And also, if Cassie's working, then bring chocolates to her and ask her if she wants her neck rubbed. But don't rub too hard 'cause it will hurt. But if it does you can just kiss it to make it feel better. And sometimes it takes a lot of kisses, like a hundred!"

"Really?" Eames throws Ariadne a questioning gaze. She smiles and shares a look with Arthur. "That is a lot of kisses, Lizzybell. What else should I know about being good at being married?"

"Well…" Elizabeth takes a moment to think. "Oh, I know. If you and Cassie have a disagreement, then you have to apologize. Say you're sorry and then kiss and make-up."

"That sounds like very good advice."

"But don't kiss and make-up too much because it will make you tired and you will have to go to bed early, even if it's before your bedtime."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Sometimes Mommy and Daddy make-up too much and then they get tired and want to go to bed early. But then we all have to go to bed early and I don't like that," she pouts.

"Well, Lizzybell, I think I did hear that making-up can make grown-ups very tired, but if that's what we have to do, it's what we have to do," Eames chuckles.

"I guess."

Eames laughs again, feeling much better than he did only moments ago. His self-doubt is fading away. Elizabeth's advice may be filtered through a childish eye, but he knows that what she's observed holds truth. It's her parent's marriage that she's drawing her conclusions on, and he knows it's a good example to use.

"You know what Lizzybell? I think Cassie and I can do everything you said. Your advice is very helpful. Thank you." He tries to give her a hug, but she stops him.

"Oh, wait! There's something else."

"What is it?"

"You have to say 'I love you' all the time. 'Cause when you love someone, you want to say it every day."

"That is excellent advice, Lizzy." This time Elizabeth accepts his hug and kiss on the temple. "I love you, Lizzybell."

"I love you too, Uncle Eames."

Smiling, he eyes David staring at them wide-eyed.

"Where's my ring bear? Come here, David."

David comes roaring over and crashes into him and Lizzy.

"And I love you, too, David."

"I love you, Uncle Eames."

"Don't forget this little guy, Uncle Eames." Ariadne brings Noah over and hands him over to Eames' waiting arms. Noah still has his tie in his mouth, and for some reason, Eames finds it hilariously funny.

"I think you literally like suits more than your daddy." He kisses the boy on his cheek and settles him on his vacated lap before looking up and addressing everyone else.

"Thank you. It's nice to know that I have people in my life that care this much. I want you all to know that I love…" he pauses to sniff, "…oh, Noah." He holds him out for Ariadne to take. "Please take him. Standing at that altar smelling like I need to be changed might just be the deal breaker if Cassie has any doubts about marrying me."

"She doesn't, Eames, don't worry." She kisses him on the cheek and gives his hand an encouraging squeeze before leaving the room to change Noah.

As she leaves, Cassie's mother enters.

"Alright! She's ready. Come on! Come on! I need the flower girl and ring bearer." She hustles Elizabeth and David out of the room. Before she leaves, she addresses Eames and Arthur. "And what are you two still doing here? You need to be at that altar, now!"

Eames jumps out of his seat. "Yes, ma'am."

He starts to make his way out when Arthur stops him.

"Wait a minute, Eames. As your best man, I did plan for your inevitable freak-out." Eames turns to Arthur, who pulls a small flask out of his suit pocket.

"Your plan was to get me drunk?" he asks, incredulous.

"No, no. This is just to take the edge off." He hands Eames the flask. "It's whiskey."

Eames eyes the bottle with suspicion.

Arthur seals his fate when he says, "Come on. Cassie's waiting. And so is her mother."

Eames takes a quick swig, letting the alcohol burn its way down his throat. Arthur takes the flask from him and puts a mint into his hand.

"What's this for?"

"Standing at the altar smelling like you licked your way to the bottom of a whiskey barrel might just be the deal breaker if Cassie has any doubts about marrying you," Arthur teases, recalling Eames' words.

"You're right." He pops the mint into his mouth. "Thanks, Arthur. You are a good best man." He starts heading out the door, but stops suddenly. "Actually, you should have just started with this. What's wrong with you? I was worrying my ass off—

Arthur pushes him out the door. "Come on, let's get you married, Eames."