wow, guys! It's my first time posting into this category! At first, I was really scared. I don't want to sound like an idiot, and all of them use such lovely vocabulary. I tried very hard, though, to keep them sounding like the homestuck trolls!

This is AU! humanstuck, and so some things are obviously changed and altered. I tried to be as realistic as I could, though half of these guys would have been expelled long ago. I even put them into my grade so I could mention things that I was actually learning! I know this has probably been done before, but I really liked the idea soooo I tried it myself. (After starting this, I read "Of Honey and Clementines" on FF and its really amazing, you should go read it)

I'm still really nervous about this fanfic though, so please be gentle with me!

Miss Tracy, at one time, had been a kind young woman. She had never married, and did not have children, but she started off as a preschool teacher. All was fine, all was well, and she loved her children each and every year.

But someone, somewhere higher up on the hierarchy of school administrators, felt that they should take it upon themselves to rid Miss Tracy of her sanity. And they had the perfectly monstrous twelve little children to do it.

Miss Tracy spent all of the children's preschool experience fighting with them, breaking up fights with each other, being tortured by them, and also trying to rid them of their ridiculously foul mouths.

So when the school year was over, she was more than relieved. Then she got the memo that she would be promoted to a kindergarten class. It was an odd turn of events, she thought, but who was she to question her superiors? Until she recognized all twelve of her students.

Poor Miss Tracy had to pay the bills somehow, so she could not quit her job. She found that every year that her students advanced, so did she. Soon, she just accepted the fact that she would never be rid of them. She had followed them all the way to their sophomore year.

Miss Tracy walked into the room, staring blankly at the scene presented to her. Gamzee and Tavros were talking idly, and Gamzee was playing with Tavros' hands, using his foot to push Tavros' wheelchair back and forth. Nepeta was acting like a cat, playing around with Equius, while the latter was sitting awkwardly in his broken desk, sweating. Karkat was furiously texting while shouting angrily with Sollux. Aradia sat at her desk, sifting through her papers and glancing in Sollux's direction every so often. Eridan was trying to hit on Feferi, who was also sending looks Sollux's way. Kanaya and Vriska were arguing as Vriska chatted with a long-distance friend, probably with John.

The bell rang for the start of class. "Alright, class, take your seats please," Miss Tracy announced.

"HoNk!" Gamzee said in reply. Miss Tracy just rolled her eyes and watched him take his seat.

"Today for math, we'll be learning about-"

"Boring stuff?" Vriska inquired, propping her feet up on the table. Miss Tracy glared at her.

"-angles and segments." Vriska yawned.

"Boring bored-y bore," she sighed.

"Be quiet, Vriska!" Kanaya hissed. Vriska stuck her tongue out and flicked her hair over her shoulder. Miss Tracy sighed, then remembered there was someone she hadn't seen hanging with Karkat.

"Is Terezi absent?" she asked.

"Nah, she's just late," Karkat explained, holding up his cell phone, "she'll be here soon."

As if on cue, Terezi burst into the room. "Sorry I'm late, Miss Tracy!" she cried. Terezi ran into the room, knocking over a few empty desks. Her cheeks flushed. "Sorry," she mumbled, following her nose to where Karkat sat and kissing him on the forehead.

Karkat blushed. "T-Terezi!" he cried, trying to be angry at her. Terezi giggled and licked his cheek. "Augh, Terezi!" he shouted, wiping off her saliva. Terezi laughed, snorting slightly, and sat at the desk she had licked. Miss Tracy sighed, picking up the worksheets. Equius raised his hand.

"Yes, Equius?" Miss Tracy asked.

"May I please pass out the papers for you?" he asked politely. Miss Tracy nodded, holding out the papers for him.

"I also need someone to take the attendance for me," she mentioned.

"Ooh, me!" Vriska cried, jumping up.

"Uh, me-me-me!" Tavros called as well, shaking his raised hand wildly. Vriska sneered at him.

"Get out of here, Wheeled Wonder," she snapped, using her foot to kick Tavros' wheelchair away. Gamzee jumped to his feet, catching Tavros' wheelchair before it toppled over.

"Vriska, stop," Miss Tracy warned. Vriska rolled her eyes, fixing her glasses. "Nepeta, would you like to go?" she added.

Nepeta danced to the front of the class. "I'll be right back, Miss Tracy! I'm a purrty fast runner!" she announced, turning to run. She ran into Equius. "Whoopsy! Sorry, Equi!" she apologized, hugging her friend and dashing off. Equius blushed.

After two hours of math, the class got a fifteen minute break before going to their next class, which happened to be English 2 with Miss Tracy. Just to tell you, Miss Tracy is their teacher for every class except for their elective.

Vriska knocked into Eridan. "Hey there, Ampora," she smiled wolfishly. Eridan narrowed his eyes at her.

"Hi, Vvris," he greeted coolly, then looked past her as Feferi walked by.

"Still pining for fish girl, I see," Vriska pointed out, not even needing to turn around to know who his eyes were following, "when are you getting over her? Your love being returned is hopeless."

"Yeah, wwhatewer!" he snapped. Vriska rolled her eyes, then spotted Kanaya.

"Hey, Kanaya!" she called, happily running up to said girl. Kanaya regarded her less than warmly. "Ouch!" Vriska joked, but Kanaya just went back to her chatting. "Is that Rose, your long-distance girlfriend?" Vriska teased.

"Yes, it is Rose," Kanaya replied indifferently. Vriska crossed her arms, puffing out her cheeks.

"You shouldn't talk to her. She's stupid," she huffed. Kanaya scoffed.

"Oh please. Her vocabulary is bigger than yours will ever be," she retorted. "And at least she's not a rude, spider-obsessed whore."

Vriska's eyes widened. "Kanaya..." Kanaya turned and walked away. "But...but Kanaya..." Vriska repeated, but the other was already gone.

"Looks like you screwed up, again," Karkat smirked. Vriska glared at him harshly, and then he realized he had struck a nerve. "Wait-" but she had already ran.

"She was starting to cry," Terezi noted. Karkat agreed, feeling guilty for not being sympathetic. "See, Karkat? My nose makes up for my lack of sight!" She grinned happily, linking arms with him and continuing to walk. "In fact, I don't even need sight-ouch!" Terezi smacked into a pole. Karkat laughed, taking her shoulder and guiding her around the pole.

Sollux ducked behind a wall, feeling like a complete stalker. He glanced around the corner at his ex-girlfriend and Equius talking. "You look, um, very nice today..." Equius mentioned to her, his cheeks turning pink. Sollux's fists clenched, but he didn't need to do anything.

Aradia whipped around. "You aren't hitting on me, are you?" she demanded. Equius stepped back.

"U-um, no?" he replied uncertainly, starting to sweat profusely. Aradia stomped on his foot, punching him in the stomach, and bringing her knee into his face when he doubled over. Then she laughed.

"Sorry, Equius! You okay?" she inquired.

"So...strong..." he squeaked back lovingly, holding his bloody nose. Nepeta danced up.

"Silly Equi, you know better than to hit on Aradia!" she giggled, leading him to the nurse's office. Sollux ducked back.

On one hand, he wanted to run out there and have sloppy make outs, but on the other hand he knew she would get angry at him when she saw him and he might end up like Equius. He turned the corner. "H-hey Aradia!" he called. Aradia narrowed her eyes at him.

"What is it, Sollux?" she asked indifferently. Sollux ran up.

"I juth wanted to thay hi," he replied. Inwardly, he was smacking himself across the face multiple times. "Tho...uh...hi." now he was mentally stabbing himself with butcher knives.

"Hi. Bye," Aradia stated coolly, walking away. Sollux's jaw went slack.

"O-okay! Bye!" he called after her. Oh look, he just mentally decapitated himself and stomped on his stupid detached face.

"Sollux!" Sollux turned to see Feferi running up to him. He smiled at the sight of her excited face, then glanced behind her at a seething Eridan. God, he hated Eridan, but not many people liked him. Sollux lowered his glasses and winked at the hipster.

"Hi, Feferi!" he grinned. Feferi grinned brightly.

"Sollux, oh my cod, you look so handsome today!" she exclaimed. Sollux looked down at his dark blue jeans and red t-shirt with the Gemini symbol on it.

"I look like I alwayth do..." he trailed off. Feferi blushed.

"That's the point," she giggled coyly. Sollux blushed as well.

"Captor!" Sollux sighed, turning to look at Karkat. Karkat was stomping up to him angrily.

"Yeth, Vantath?" he inquired, annoyed. Karkat shoved his phone into the slightly shorter boy's face.

"What the hell does this look like to you, you shitfucker?" he demanded. Sollux moved his face back so that the phone would come into focus, with Sollux's latest blog displayed on it.

"It theemth to be a thellphone," Sollux replied calmly. Karkat sneered at him.

"It's not just a 'thellphone', you douchemuffin!" Karkat retorted mockingly, "You said some pretty shitty stuff about me and Terezi, and some of these aren't even technically true!"

"Thome?" Sollux teased. Karkat punched him in the face. "Ouch! You'll pay for that, you thupid fucker!" Sollux snapped, tackling the slightly taller boy.

"Boys, cut it out!" Feferi cried worriedly. Sollux grabbed Karkat by the shoulders and started to shake him violently, slamming his head into the floor.

Everyone else ran up. "Stop it, Sollux! You're gonna kill him!" Terezi called, but the smaller boy didn't listen. Feferi ran off. Karkat kneed Sollux in the stomach, and when he doubled over to hold his stomach, Karkat sank his teeth into Sollux's shoulder.

Sollux screamed in pain, but before he could do anything, Karkat slammed his head into the boy's throat. "That's enough!" Miss Tracy cried, barging in between the crowd. Feferi was behind her, looking worriedly from boy to boy. Miss Tracy pulled them both to their feet, where both boys were in tears. Karkat was holding his head, and Sollux was coughing and holding his throat. "What happened?" she demanded, but both boys were beside themselves.

"Are they okay?" Kanaya asked. They nodded with difficulty.

"Boys, go to the room and wait for break to be over," Miss Tracy ordered, watching them walk off. "Things don't usually get that violent between them," she mused to herself.

Karkat and Sollux sat in their seats. Sollux took off his glasses and wiped at his eyes. "Thorry, Karkat," he finally mumbled, his voice sounding hoarse from being headbutt in the throat.

"I should be sorry, Sollux. I punched you," Karkat replied.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't have if I didn't blog all that nathy thuff about you," Sollux replied.

"Well, I'm sorry for punching you. And for kneeing you in the stomach. And for biting you. And for headbutting your throat," Karkat apologized.

"I'm thorry for blogging about you, and for tackling you, and for thamming your head againth the floor," Sollux replied. Karkat hugged him.

"It's okay. My head hurts like motherfucker, but its okay."

"If ith any contholathon, my throat hurth really bad, too," Sollux smiled meekly, hugging back.

"Aw, that's adorable!" Vriska cooed.

"Do I have to update my shipping blog?" Nepeta asked. Usually, she was really excited about shipping updates, but she sounded upset instead.

"So motherfucking cute," Gamzee grinned. Karkat pushed Sollux away.

"No fucking way would I ever go with that asshat," Karkat huffed.

"Thankth, KK," Sollux retorted.

"Alright, everyone, take your seats!" Miss Tracy called. Everyone did as they were told.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 23:13 –

CG: EGBERT!

EB: hey there, karkat! what's up?

CG: NOTHING BESIDES MY HEAD HURTING LIKE A SON OF A BITCH

EB: huh? what happened?

CG: SOLLUX AND I HAD A BIG FIGHT.

CG: LIKE, A PHYSICAL BIG FIGHT

EB: what? but you never fight with sollux!

EB: not physically, I mean.

CG: YEAH, WELL I GOT A LITTLE OUT OF HAND AND PUNCHED HIM

CG: AND HE GOT UPSET AND FOUGHT BACK AND HIT MY HEAD ON THE GROUND

CG: MORE THAN ONCE. SO I BIT HIM AND HEADBUTTED HIS THROAT.

CG: AND DON'T THINK I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MANY QUESTION MARKS YOU PUT!

EB: lol so i'm talking to vriska! big deal, karkat!

CG: IT IS A BIG DEAL. IF DEALS WERE DOGS, THIS DEAL WOULD BE AN ENGLISH MASTIFF!

EB: no, it would be a chihuahua. or a teacup poodle.

CG: I'LL PUT A POODLE IN YOUR TEACUP!

EB: …...what?

CG: NOTHING! WE WERE TALKING ABOUT MY FIGHT WITH SOLLUX!

EB: oh yeah. it sounds like you kicked his ass.

CG: I FELT BAD THOUGH. I ALWAYS GET ANGRY WITH HIM, BUT WE NEVER PHYSICALLY FIGHT.

EB: have you been sleeping well? you always get more violent when you're tired.

CG: IT'S CREEPY THAT YOU KNOW THAT.

CG: BUT NO. I HAVEN'T. TOO MANY NIGHTMARES TO SLEEP VERY WELL.

EB: about what?

CG: …...

CG: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

CG: I HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO

EB: pretty late for that, don't you think? well, whatever. goodnight, and try to sleep.

CG: I'LL TRY, BUT NO PROMISES. NIGHT.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 24:37 –

yay! a little bit of John and Karkat's friendship thrown in there. The four kids are internet friends with the troll kids, and this won't be the last of their conversations.

I realized that what John says is natural for me to write lol same with Jade.

most people have the headcanon that Karkat is the smallest boy troll (only taller than Nepeta) but I have the headcanon that Karkat is a bit taller than Sollux.

Also, I love Sollux's lisp. Like, its unhealthy.

ONE LAST NOTE! the pairings are set in stone. I ship a lot of things, but I kept it simple so everyone could have someone. I almost put Kanaya with Rose and Vriska with John, but I like Vriska with Kanaya alot, so yeah. I do ship KanRose heavily though, as well as SolKar, JohnDave, and JadeKat. oh, and GamTav, which I do indulge on here!

So anyways, I hope you like it! Long chapter is long...