A/N: It struck me recently that there are some AU stories one never seems to see – presumably because they are too depressing to contemplate. Or, if one does see them, they are sugar coated into pointlessness (Javert lives and learns his lesson, Marius mysteriously acquires a passport and a fortune to go to England etc.). I've decided to take some of these ideas to their logical and bleak conclusion in a series of double drabbles.

I. In which we see that theatrical overconfidence does not always yield results

The startled brigands picked up their weapons – pole-axes, cudgels and hammers casting strange shadows in the candlelight.

Javert stepped into the room as casually as he might his office. His sword was in its sheath, and his cane tucked under his arm - like a gentleman strolling in the Luxembourg

"Take it easy! You can't escape through the window. Better go out the door - you'll find it less unhealthy! There are seven of you and fifteen of us – let's not have a brawl!"

The criminals stepped back - except Bigranaille, who leant forward and, producing a pistol, whispered to Thenardier

"That's Javert, a man I'm afraid to shoot. Will you dare?"

"By God I will!"

Thenardier levelled the gun.

Javert remarked tersely, "Better not. It won't fire anyway."

Thenardier pulled the trigger. It fired.

The inspector crumpled to the floor, his face registering only surprise.

The thieves resumed their quarrel over access to the window. The party of gendarmes, alerted by the shot, piled into the room.

Javert lay silently on the floor, presumed dead, until Thenardier was marched past. He raised his head a fraction, caught his eye -

"I shouldn't have done that . . . unwise."