This is a fic based on Andrew Hussie's amazing web-comic called 'Homestuck' which he owns of course and not me. (I wouldn't be writing about my own stories if I did. Shit would be all kinds of cannon) It's both a story and a pesterchum conversation so please keep that in mind and enjoy~

. . .

Your name is Dave Strider and you just got home from the longest day of school ever. You're happy your older brother isn't home at the moment to bitch at you as you toss your backpack into a pile of plush rumps with a bit of a vengeance. Not that he should care so much about the disturbing puppets but whatever. It's cool and ironic… you guess. Point is, today sucked and your mood shows it. There's really only one person who can make the current mindset you're in any better so you head into your room to see if, by chance, she's on.

Well when you think about it, of course she's on. Around the only time she's not is if she's asleep. And, granted that is the case most of the time, even then her 'dream self' responds. Harley's just Harley like that. You give the mouse a jiggle before falling back in the computer chair and brush a few pieces of trash and Game Bro magazines onto the ground with your foot. Really gotta tell your bro that buying them just isn't ironic anymore. It's just lame now… When the monitor flickers back to life, you sit up more and log back in to PC. Sure enough, Harley's icon flash's online. Despite the shitty mood you're in, you double click her name and bring up a new conversation. Maybe it's the fact that the girl never seems to be upset, but she has a habit of making even you, Dave Strider, strike a smile now and then.

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -

TG: sup harley

GG: dave!

GG: hi how was school?

TG: lame

GG: D: that's no good! how so

TG: just was

TG: schools always lame

GG: hmmmm i guess but i wouldnt know

GG: youre lucky you get to go!

TG: fuck no im not youre lucky you live in the middle of fucking nowhere and dont gotta

TG: shits lame yo

GG: so youve said

TG: then you should up and take my word for it dig

GG: with what shovel?

TG: dear god i hope youre kidding

GG: ;p you really are in a foul mood arent you cool kid

GG: whats wrong?

TG: naw cool kids dont get in foul moods

GG: then what do they get in

GG: funks?

GG: spells?

GG: moods?

TG: alright alright enough i get it

GG: :B so? answer my question!

TG: there aint nothing to answer just had one of those shitty ass days at school s'all

TG: shit happens yo

GG: well what made it so shitty sir strider?

TG: like i said school just aint that great

GG: you have AMAZING subject avoidance skills dave

GG: are you aware of this fact?

TG: i am

TG: take great pride in that ill have you know

GG: your brother must be so proud ;p

TG: lets drop that subject like its hot

TG: what did you do all day

GG: i worked more on johns birthday present

TG: this soon? his damn birthday is like six months away

GG: annnnnnd? it takes a lot of time and i want it to be done and ready!

TG: you and your 'pen-pal' still doing that weird joint shit

GG: heheh yes we are

TG: im losing you to some dude you dont even know

GG: please dave! its not like that at all

TG: right sure its not anyway is that all you did

GG: well no of course not but i highly doubt you want the play by play of my day

TG: i might you are a very interesting girl at times harley

GG: is that a compliment?

TG: sure why not

GG: heehee then thank you!

TG: no prob

GG: hmmmmm i dont like you being all…

TG: all what

GG: funky!

TG: i aint in a funk I told you that

GG: stiiiiiiiiiiiill!

GG: oh i know we should have a group convo with john and rose!

TG: no

GG: how come?

TG: cant a guy just up and talk to you and you alone

TG: why we gotta bring lalonde and egderp into this

GG: sooooo you just wanna talk to me?

TG: yeah if thats ok

GG: of course it is cool kid! :D

GG: i feel so honored!

TG: as you should be

GG: so what did you want to talk about then

TG: shit i dont know you pick

GG: you could tell me whats bothering you :D

TG: set myself up for that one didnt i

GG: d;

TG: if you have been working so hard on johns gift what are you doing for me

GG: oh jeez thats not at all changing the subject!

TG: answer the question harley

GG: why should i? you have dodged all of mine with your cool kid avoidance skills :p

TG: because im genuinely curious as to what im getting

GG: well im genuinely curious as to what could bother someone as cool as dave strider!

TG: you are fucking relentless

GG: so are you gonna tell me

TG: good lord fine if it gets you off my jock

GG: yaaaaaaaaaay!

TG: im not doing so hot in school alright

GG: how so

TG: like failing shit man badly

TG: be failing worse than john trying to rap

TG: ok no nothing can fail more than that

GG: oh im sorry dave :( is there anything i can do?

TG: yeah not make a big deal out of it and dont go blabbing to lalonde

TG: last thing i need is her therapist ass telling me what it means

TG: i know damn well what it means means i cant fucking do it

GG: no! that's not at all what it means

TG: is that right

GG: of course not! cool kids can do anything riiiiight

TG: of fucking course

GG: so you can do it! :D youre like the coolest thing to ever cool cool dave!

TG: thanks for the pep-talk harley but you dont get it

TG: i can do this shit just fine but making the grades to prove it is a whole nother story

GG: i dont think i follow :/

TG: i can do this shit in my sleep its easy as fuck

TG: but when it comes time to jot that shit down on paper i forget everything like some fucking punk-ass noob

GG: im sorry dave…..

TG: dont be aint your fault you just asked what was up

GG: yes but i wanna help you!

TG: yeah well less you got some sort of future telling way to give me the answers there aint much you can do

GG: ive told you dave i cant see the future! and even if I COULD do that, i believe thats called cheating

TG: says she who doesnt attend school what would you care

GG: ill have you know i care a lot about you!

TG: do you now

GG: i do which is why I want to help :D

GG: you could do what i do!

TG: and what wear a bunch of colorful rings on my fingers

TG: pass

GG: D: whats wrong with my ring method?

TG: nothing if it was cool

GG: so im not cool then

TG: what no thats not what i said

GG: yes it is

TG: well thats not what I meant

GG: what did you mean

TG: just that

TG: auhg damnit never mind

- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -