EPISODE 0.0
Preface

Hey peeps! First of all, thank you for stumbling across this crack fanfiction of the not-so popular Vocaloid pair, LuKaito. For those eager readers who just want to get started with the main story proper and not give a damn about some pointless rambles from the poor author (me), just click on the next button and there you go, Luka is already waiting for you in the next chapter.

Oh, so you're not in a hurry? Good for you. I shall give you a virtual hug for sparing your precious time to take a break from our hectic daily life and just take it easy. Reading is supposed to be relaxing and enjoyable, right?

Anyways.

It all began with two American penpals I know through a writing forum, Andromeda Star and Skymaster713. They passed on the contagious Vocaloid virus to me, and got me crazy over the age of true virtual idols.

Now, I'm officially a big Luka Megurine fan. I will just admit that I have this really huge crush on the beautiful pink-haired goddess and that I will always own her in my not-so-decent dreams.

And if fawning over Luka-sama isn't enough, the fanmade version of Luka and Kaito's "Just Be Friends" duet actually brainwashed me into loving this Vocaloid couple. You'd ask me: what about other Luka pairings? For Luka and Gakupo, personally I like them together only in "Ggrks -Gugurekasu-" / "Go Google It" (a sadistic Luka plus a masochistic Gakupo is what I call a lovely SM relationship, heh). I'm not very fond of Luka and Len (as much as pairing Kaito with Rin), though I should say that Luka can pair up with any one of the Vocaloid guys effortlessly because she's just too irresistible and drool-worthy.

This contest prompt by Anime Stars was the push that had me brainstorming and finally came up with this fanfic:

Writing Prompt: The "Express" Elevator

Write a short humorous story (minimum 250 words) about two characters that are stuck in an elevator for an absurd amount of time, whether it's due to a power outage because it randomly got stuck in-between floors, or because for some reason the elevator is moving very slowly up to the top floor and not stopping elsewhere, etc. Note that when the pair finally exits the elevator, they have to be seen by someone who thinks it's weird that the characters were in an elevator together.

Characters may be original or from a fandom, and crossovers are also welcome. Oneshot or multi-chapter entries are both acceptable.

You must include at least two of the following things in your entry:
= An iPod (you must use this phrase "I have an app for that.")
= A marker (but there can be no paper)
= A deck of cards (type of cards is up to you i.e. poker, trading card games, etc.
= A pudding cup and spoon (pudding flavor is up to you)
= A single can of soda or a bottle of milk (flavor is up to you)
= A yo-yo (the color/type i.e. if it makes sounds, lights up etc. is up to you)

*Those highlighted in bold are what I had picked for this fanfic.

Looking back, my first draft of this humorous oneshot was not funny at all. In fact, I spent almost a week pushing myself through an angsty tale with a plot that brought me to nowhere. Out of desperation I trashed the old draft and restarted from square one. Guess what? To my utter amazement, I actually finished my new draft within an hour, which is this very fanfic you'll be reading. I think I should stop watching all those weird Korean horror movies from killing my sense of humor. (Meh, I'm quite a boring guy myself, anyway—hang on, this is totally random.)

As I wrote this tale while chuckling away at my ridiculous imagination, I can't help but throw in some bits of references here and there for added comedic effect. For those avid Vocaloid fans, I hope you enjoy the puns and giggles I've included in this crazy story.

I wasn't expecting to win in the writing contest because this story sounds kinda nonsensical (well, you'll know what I mean very soon, heh). Half of the time I had no idea why the heck I was actually thinking of such scenes of absurdity. I guess I just wanted to show that sometimes common sense might just force us to swallow our laughter. My "opponent", Toyoko, was pretty good herself too, and it was really a tough competition against a seasoned writer like her. I'm happy to be able to emerge champion, which has affirmed my growth as a budding writer.

Okay, I think I've rambled long enough… But before I end off, I would like to express my gratitude to the following people:
= Andromeda Star, for getting me obsessed with the awesomeness of Vocaloid;
= Skymaster713, another crazy Vocaloid friend who also dragged me into it, and also being a wonderful beta-reader;
= Anime Stars, for coming up with the writing contest and got my brain juice working;
= Erzibeth-Malfoy and Kaede Yukine, for patiently listening to my annoying rants about this fanfic;
= AkaiChouNoKoe, for the beautiful sketch based on a scene in this story (I must say that I'm really surprised), thank you so much for your enthusiasm;
= And most importantly, to all those who have left a review, added this story to their favorite list and/or alert list, added me to their favorite author and/or author alert list when I hosted this story here, I really appreciate the support all of you have given me.

Last but not least, once again I thank you for your kind attention to have read this far.

As a token of appreciation to all you wonderful readers of this crazy fluff, I've decided to turn this oneshot into a multi-chapter story. I hope you'll like the extras as much as I did while writing them.

ARE YOU READY?

The "Express" Elevator © tsubasa-P (Tsubasa Kuroba).

Prompt: the "Express" Elevator by Anime Stars.
Cover: Sketch by AkaiChouNoKoe.
Lyrics: "Just Be Friends" © Dixie Flatline.

Vocaloids:
KAITO, Rin/Len Kagamine, Luka Megurine © Crypton;
Gackpoid © Internet Co.

Inspirations:
"Ggrks -Gugurekasu-" ("Go Google It") © Aamin-P;
"Hello, Worker" © KEI;
"Butterfly in the Strawberry Field" © koichikurin;
Iroha Nekomura © AH-Software, Hello Kitty © Sanrio.