DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS!
DEFINING FAMILY
Tim returned form a visit at home letting himself into his apartment trying to leave the pain outside his door. What should've been a celebration of his literary success had become a battle to defend it.
Commander McGee was not the most tender-hearted man. It's what helped make him the tough and successful leader he was. Still no matter how aloof his relationship was with his son, Tim tried hard to please him; to be the man his father expected him to be.
He was trying not to let the hurtful words destroy his confidence; the confidence that had been growing steadily as he spent more time working as an NCIS field agent. Sure he'd had his collegiate successes, but it was meeting his own career goals that lifted him.
Tim had hoped his father would be proud that he'd aligned himself with the Navy. He'd known he'd never join the naval ranks. He was too green on the water and he didn't really have the demeanor to be an effective officer. As a child he'd been intrigued by electronics and science. His studies in college opened his eyes to the role these things could play in law enforcement and crime solving.
His heart was with the Navy and his way to serve to the best of his ability was to use the talents he felt he was the most proficient.
Along the way he found his outlet for free writing and created a story that he braved to send to a few publishers. He was pleasantly surprised to hear back from one willing to take him on and want more form him.
Holding that first hardback printed version was a thrill he couldn't wait to share with his family. His mother and Sarah had praised him and congratulated him, while his father fingered the pages and read little more than the inset summary, before degrading his talents as wasted time and energy.
After two days of arguing and getting nowhere with the stubborn Commander, Tim bid his mom and sister good-bye and returned home. Certain that he wasn't willing to take any more rejection from those he knew, he vowed to keep the book a secret from the team.
He should've known eventually the secret would be exposed. It had been months but with the trouble Sarah managed to find herself in, it was her own words that let it slip out. He couldn't hold it against her really. She had no idea he'd not want to tell them, even if she had seen the pain their father's words had imposed on him.
Their reactions would've hurt more if he hadn't been so intent on Sarah's defense. He tried to explain that the characters weren't based on them. He couldn't explain how he wanted those closest to him to be reflected in his story, even if it was just a jumble of their names. Sure they had inspired him to write about a team working together to fight crime, but he didn't really see the team the way he wrote in his book.
The most shocking moment was discovering that his boss had his own copy of the novel. It gave him a glimmer of pride he'd had at the onset, but it was overshadowed still by Sarah's troubles.
Tim really began to doubt his decision to continue writing when his second novel's rough draft caught the attention of a psycho who began using it as a blueprint to commit murder. He'd wanted to stop if only to stop the senseless killings, but again it was Gibbs who encouraged him to finish it.
It occurred to Tim that since the rift began and expanded between his father and himself, Gibbs had seemed to become more of a mentor to him. They didn't quite have the relationship that Gibbs had with Tony, nor like that with Ziva either, but he was wanting to fill the void that had once been his father.
The time spent working under him and side by side with him showed him that their team really was very much like a family. Gibbs wasn't always easy to please, his demands pushing him beyond his limits. He'd understood many times that the second "B" really could live up to its explanation.
Yet, whenever he came through he not only felt his own pride in his accomplishment but Gibbs would offer his own show of pride, even if it was only a subtle 'Good job, McGee'. In some ways it reminded him of his father's domineering parenting, always pushing and demanding the best, but his father was even less demonstrative in acknowledging his successes than Gibbs could ever be.
He had never connected their similarities, at least not consciously, until his grandmother, Penny had pointed it out to him. She had told him his father was proud of him, but was too stubborn to let his softer side show toward his son.
She'd convinced him to call, to take the first step to open back up the lines of communication. Maybe, just maybe they'd repair the father/son bond they'd shared long ago.
Penny had also pointed out that his boss was a close substitute and it was obvious to her why Tim felt so comfortable being a part of Gibbs' team and why it was so important to him to be accepted there.
The call had started awkwardly. "Dad. It's Tim." At first his father was silent. Tim almost hung up.
Commander McGee coughed clearing his throat and collecting his thoughts. It had been too many years and he swallowed around the lump that prohibited him from answering directly. His thoughts ran a gamut of reasons for the unexpected call. "Tim. Everything alright?" he asked.
Tim rubbed his forehead trying to rid the doubt for making the call, especially at the late hour of the day. Sure his father would think something was wrong when his only son, who hadn't spoken to him in years, suddenly called.
"Everything is fine. I just thought we could talk."
"Talk?" his father was at his own loss of what to say. "Sure. What's on your mind?" He threw it into his son's court to set the pace for the match ahead.
They managed to get through some basics. Work was going well. No more novels currently in the making. There was a girl he was interested in, but since she'd been involved in a case they were biding their time before trying to make a go of it.
"Why wait? If you both want to see each other you should do it," the older man stated simply.
"We could, but we had some tense moments during the investigation and it's best we make sure the emotions from that aren't clouding our judgment. We're chatting for now; getting to know each other better."
"Kids today," his father laughed. Tim hadn't heard that in so long he laughed in return. The laughter broke the tension between them and the conversation began to run more smoothly. Before either realized it was almost midnight.
"Dad, this has been great, but I need to get home and get some sleep," Tim reluctantly tried to end the call.
"You're still at the office?" his father asked.
"I was finishing up my report when I decided to call. I didn't expect that we'd talk for so long."
His father nodded his unseen agreement. "Guess we had quite a bit of catching up to do, huh?"
Tim smiled, "Yeah. We did. How about if I come visit next weekend? The tea"
Tim should be off and I'd really like to see you both," Tim choked up slightly realizing how much he'd been missing his father.
"I'm sure your mother will be as happy as I will be to see you."
Tim hung up smiling. Penny was always wise to how things should go. His thoughts turned briefly to Ducky taking her out for drinks. He shook his head; it was too much to wonder what, if anything could come of that.
He shut down his computer, grabbed his gear and switched off his light. He walked with a lighter step then he had in quite a while. Entering the elevator he turned to push the button to go down. As the door slid shut he caught Gibbs watching him with a knowing smirk on his face. Tim gave him a short wave and silently gave thanks that he had an extended family that cared for him.