100 Missions Challenge.

Yes, this is a self-made challenge to make 100 one-shots based on TF2 and their hijinks! I will have my own RED and BLU teams, as well as the canon originals, and there'll be a mix of laughs and sorrow.

Disclaimer: I don't own TF2. If I did, I would have WAY more time to be on here.

1st Objective: Battlefield.

Before I go on, here are the names and brief descriptions of RED. BLU will be in Mission Objective 2.

Bryn Jones (Sniper): A carefree man from Wales, Britain, he can often be found napping – he'll do it anywhere. He was even caught napping in a trash can once. Likes his solitude and is occasionally used as a doorstop – literally.

Felix Paris (Spy): A quiet, withdrawn character who won't speak unless he has to and who the team subsequently turn to when things get out of hand – which happens a lot. This long-suffering Spy tends to see his therapist often as a result. His one weakness is baby animals of any description.

Pippin "Pip" Fox (Scout): A hyperactive young Scout who runs all over the place practically non-stop. Loves his Momma to bits and tends to be clumsy, causing much unintended mayhem.

Lance Corporal (Soldier): Is surprisingly peaceful, tending to talk down (or rant at) his foes, making them surrender just to shut him up. His favourite past time is rapping insults at the BLU Demoman. Always one-sided as Demo is always drunk and unresponsive.

Guy McNabbin (Demoman): This Demoman is vastly different to many others in one way – he doesn't drink. At all. As such, whenever he attends the regular Demoman conventions held every year, he finds himself the subject of everyone's confusion and gossip. Has a habit of sleep walking and talking – once slept walked into Engineer's workshop and proceeded to read them a bedtime story. Engie was pleased.

Dustin "Dusty" Houston (Engineer): You thought Engineers loved their sentries? This one is OBSSESSED. He never leaves his workshop and he screams every time someone goes near any of his machines in battle. This makes it rather awkward when someone wants to use a dispenser. Loves cookies.

Oliver Phoenix (Pyro): Pyro found the "hide under your mask" rule stupid – so he took it off. Everyone knows his face and he is very friendly. He's made it his mission to befriend Felix, with hilarious results at times. Likes to watch rainbows.

Adrik Pigoffski (Heavy): This Heavy redefined the word 'stupid'. He doesn't think about much apart from his gun, Sasha, and many of the mishaps the team goes through are his fault. Still, he is kind and once rescued a stray kitten from a tree and gave it to Felix. Needless to say, he won his loyalty.

Jasper Hans (Medic): Being the guy who invented the Ubercharge immediately tells people that he is slightly crazy. He has made people cry by unleashing Freudian psychology on them (when in reality, he's only trying to help) and is Heavy's best friend. He is the only one out of the team to have a wife.

The battlefield.

A big place – plenty of room for the Scouts to run wild and free with reckless abandon, great little nooks and crannies for Spies to recharge their cloaks and/or hide, even better perches and nests for Snipers to pick off the unsuspecting enemy and generally a place for the rest of the classes to go completely berserk with Sentries, grenade launchers and rockets etc.

It certainly wasn't a place for two Pyros to be socialising…somehow.

(I mean, how do they understand each other under those things anyway and -)

BANG.

As I was saying, this particular battleground going by the name of Gorge definitely wasn't a place to slip up on either. One wrong move and you could be falling to a very painful and embarrassing death, what with the giant cliffs and looming rocky outcrops.

This didn't seem to bother the two Pyros however.

"Hudda!"

"Hurro!"

Lots of cheerful waving.

"Hudda huh woo?"

"Um geet!"

A happy thumbs up under two big gloved hands.

"Hooray!"

While this exchange was taking place behind a grey rock, it hadn't gone unnoticed.

"The bloody…?"

The RED team's Sniper, Bryn Jones, seemed beyond confused as he peered through his rifle scope at the two Pyros chatting in muffled voices to each other. As he surveyed the slightly wasted landscape, he spotted the BLU Sniper staring through his scope at the two Pyros as well. Cautiously, Bryn waved. The other waved back and pointed at the Pyros in confusion, Bryn shrugging in response.

There was an awkward silence.

That silence was broken by the clinking of teacups as the Pyros sat down and arranged their picnic rug. They were having a tea party.

"Ooo, I love tea parties! Can we join in, mate?" the BLU Sniper squealed, dropping his gun and waving madly at the firestarters. They seemed happy for anyone to join them as they beckoned him down.

Bryn shrugged again and shouldered his sniper rifle – at least he could sneak in a nap.

Five minutes later, the RED Heavy wandered in on their fun and saw with great glee that they had sandwiches.

"SANDVICH MAKE HEAVY STRONG! JOIN YOU?"

The quartet (minus Bryn who was curled up on top of the picnic basket asleep) looked at each other and gave the affirmative. And so, Adrik joined the party as well.

Pretty soon, nearly everyone had entered the tea party in one way or another. Lance had gone in claiming diplomatic immunity on behalf of America and the BLU Spy had literally dropped in. Now they were discussing the finer points of literature.

"HEAVY LIKE DR SEUSS!"

All apart from Felix, the RED Spy. He was on his way to see his therapist after turning the corner and seeing the madness in front of him. He was going to claim hallucination.

Apparently battlefields were also places that gathered both sides together for the sake of peace treaties.

Mission Complete.

Hope this was okay. R&R!

Love Lily. X