Sometimes, life doesn't go your way. Everything's all happy and cheerful and the one day, you decide to rob a pet store and are sent to juvie.

What? Marquis needs something to eat. She can't live off little bugs forever! Those hamsters were perfect! I love Marquis. My cute, little eight-legged murder beast. But apparently, the judge didn't find her as cute when she bit a member of the jury. She was just hungry! Why do think I took the little rodents? So, I was sent to juvie and Marquis was taken back home. They let her off with a warning, but not me. I want my Marquis back…

So here I am. One month down, five to go. Apparently, I'm being sent here for multiple stuff. Not just the robbery. It sucks here. So boring. Nothing to do. No cliffs to push people out of. Ok, it was one time. Just once! Not my fault his parents sued and moved away. It's his fault for not being able to fly.

Today is Sunday, which is mail day. All the letters that were sent to us delinquents are given to us now. I never get any mail. Ever. It's not like my mom really cares enough to send me one. She's probably already killed Marquis.

"Smith!" The warren is calling out people with mail. Lucky them.

"Walters!" The list is almost over. He has one more package to hand out. Probably not for me. Why do I even bother showing up to these?

He looks at the box weird. "Uh… Serket!" Lucky them… Wait. That's my name! I got a package! Finally! I run up to the warren and smile as I take my package. Huh? It's from Texas. Do I know anyone in Texas? Weird.

Dear Miss Serket,

It is our misfortune to announce that your Great Aunt Deloris has passed away. We are paying your bail in order for you to attend her funeral. Please show this letter to the warren. There is a plane ticket for April 13 at 2:00 pm to fly you down to Texas, where your family is holding the funeral.

We are sorry for your loss,

Aradia Megido, Manager of Alternia Funeral Homes

Yes! I'm getting out of here! And I have a Great Aunt Deloris? Well, I had a Great Aunt Deloris, apparently. Oh well, free trip out of here! Wait, they sent a package too. What's in here? I open the box, and close it immediately after looking at its contents. It's Marquis! He's here! They probably knew I'd be so devastated by my loss that they sent him to me! How'd the funeral home even get her? I don't know, or care. All I know is that I have to get my things together. My flight is tomorrow!

I show the warren the letter, and give him the check that was enclosed before running to my cell and grabbing my things. There were a few hundreds in the letter, so I can stay at a motel tonight and catch my flight in the afternoon! This is great! Although the name of the funeral home is giving me déjà vu…

I say goodbye to the warren, and then me and Marquis hit the road! I walk to the nearest motel, and get a room. I flop on the bed and fall asleep immediately. Wait. Marquis, get out of the sink! Eh, whatever. Do what you want.

I wake up feeling awesome! First good night's sleep I had in a month! It's already noon. Oh shit! I grab my things and put Marquis back in the back, before checking out and catching a taxi. It wasn't a long drive to the airport, but it was enough to make me agitated. I don't want to miss this flight!

I pay the driver and run inside. I stand in line for customs. I whisper to Marquis, I taught her commands- isn't she the greatest? "Play dead."

I walk put the box on the little scanner thing. The guard asks about the spider.

"It's a toy for my cousin. He's been upset after my aunt died. It looks pretty real, right?"

"I guess. I'm sorry for the loss of your aunt."

I smile to the guard and take my things before running to the terminal. I get my seat just in time. The stewardess just announced that we will be taking off soon. I buckle my seatbelt and prepare for liftoff!

Woooooooo! I love planes taking off! We reach 14,000 feet and I start thinking about the funeral home and it's manager.

Wait… I never had a Great Aunt Deloris! Aradia, you're such a liar! But, it's so like you to own a "funeral home!"

…

I am Vriska Serket, the Thief of Light, and I remember everything.