Jim Kirk wandered down the corridors. He had something on his mind and decided to pay Dr. McCoy a visit. As he stood in front of the Sickbay doors, he sighed to himself. 'Why do I keep coming here with my problems?' he thought to himself. He could just hear Bones saying 'I'm a doctor, not a bartender.' But then, there'd likely be a stiff drink to follow and McCoy was a good friend. Hopefully he'd be able to help.

McCoy was in his office when he heard someone ring the buzzer. He was sitting at his desk, relaxing and had just started sipping his drink after a long day's work. "Come on in," he said.

"Hi Bones," Kirk said. "You got a minute?"

McCoy smiled. "Sure, Jim, more than that for you. He gestured to a spare chair. "Take a seat."

Kirk sat in the proffered chair and frowned as he noticed the strangely colored drink in the doctor's glass. "What are you drinking?" he asked. "That doesn't look like your usual poison."

"Oh this?" McCoy replied. "It's a mint julep. I needed one, it made me think of the past a little and I wanted to reminisce. All those hot summer days in Georgia and when I got to relax this was my sweet poison. It's real good stuff. You want one?"

The captain grimaced. "No thanks," he said firmly. "I'll stick to my usual."

"Sure, no problem," McCoy said. "One Saurian brandy coming right up."

He got up and moved over to grab a bottle and a second glass from the shelf where he kept his liquor supplies. "You know," he continued, "I'm beginning to feel more like a bartender than a doctor."

Kirk laughed. "I knew you'd say that one of these days," he said. McCoy offered Jim a seat and gave him his brandy and sat opposite him.

"So what can I do for you?" the doctor asked. "As you're drinking I doubt it's ship's business, so I'm guessing it's something personal?"

"You guess right," Kirk said with a sigh, looking down at the glass he was nursing in his hands. McCoy fixed his keen blue eyes on his friend's bowed head.

"Ok, spill it," he said. "What's been eating you?"

"It's about Spock," Kirk admitted.

"What about him?" McCoy asked, not having a clue where this was going.

"Do you remember what happened a few months ago after the landing party went to Psi 2000?" Kirk said quietly.

"Oh God, how could anyone forget that?" McCoy said. "Kevin Riley singing I'll Take you Home Again Kathleen is still ringing in my ears!"

"I meant what happened to Spock," Kirk said.

The doctor frowned. "I'm not following you, Jim. Although he has seemed more closed off since then. I thought he was loosening up a bit, but now he's as up tight as he ever was."

"Tell me about it," Kirk said mounfully. "We hardly even play chess any more." He looked up to meet the doctor's gaze. "I miss him, Bones."

"He is Vulcan, Jim," McCoy said gently.

"I know that," Kirk answered, the frustration obvious in his voice, "but he's also half Human."

"Yes," McCoy said slowly, "but he doesn't want to show that side of himself."

"He always did to me," Kirk told him, "but now he's gone back into his shell and it's all my fault."

"Your fault?" McCoy began, then paused. "Jim, what happened?"

"Well," Kirk began, looking into his glass. "You remember our orbit was decaying and we were spiralling down?" McCoy nodded. He was hardly likely to forget that terrifying experience , even though he'd had his hands full in sickbay at the time. "Riley had shut down the engines," Kirk continued, glancing up to meet the doctor's eyes before looking down again, "and I needed a solution fast, so I went to find Spock." He took a deep breath before he carried on speaking. "I found him in the conference room. He was crying." McCoy's eyebrows shot up at that, but he remained silent. "I shouldn't have done what I did," Kirk said, his voice now barely more than a whisper.

"What did you do?" McCoy asked, his tone a mix of worry and curiosity.

Kirk hesitated slightly as if reluctant to remember what happened next. "He looked at me," he finally began, "and he said that when he felt friendship for me, he was ashamed. I tried to snap him out of it." A stricken look crossed his handsome face. "I hit him, Bones."

McCoy reached out to touch his arm.

"He grabbed my hand," Kirk said, his eyes fixed on some distant point in the room, as if he was seeing in his mind the scene he was describing. "I knew I was being infected but the sensation between us was more than that." He met McCoy's eyes. "It felt right," he finished. McCoy returned his gaze.

"Is there something you're not telling me here, Jim?" he asked.

Kirk jumped up out of the chair and turned to pace across the room, running his hand agitatedly through his hair. "I don't know," he answered.

"You know you can tell me anything," the doctor said, "and it won't go any further."

Kirk took another deep breath and turned around to look at McCoy. "Bones, do you...," he hesitated, "do you think he might have feelings for me? More than friendship, I mean," he finished, the words coming in a rush, as if he might not say them if he thought too long about it. McCoy stared at him, surprised more that he's said the words than the he was at the words themselves.

"He was being influenced by the virus," he said, "but I can see how well you get along. It seems like you're alway joined at the hip."

"I don't know how he feels about me," Kirk said, "but I know much I enjoy the time we spend together. I look forward to seeing him every day. He always seems to make me smile." He gave a choked half laugh. "Sometimes," he continued, "I almost make him smile."

"So how do you feel about him, Jim?" the doctor asked, already fairly sure he knew the answer to his own question. Kirk ran his hand through his hair.

"He's my best friend," he said simply. He met McCoy's eyes and gave a small smile. "But so are you. There's just something different with Spock."

"You're in love with your first officer," McCoy said, and the statement hung in the air between them for a moment as he waited to see how Kirk would respond.

"I think I am," the captain replied.

McCoy looked thoughtful. "I thought you would deny it," he said. "It says a lot to me that you didn't."

Kirk looked as worried as McCoy had ever seen him, and he's seen him in some pretty dire circumstances. "The worst thing is what I did to him in the conference room," he said. "I pretty much told him not to feel. I told him to be logical, because that's what I needed him to be so we could save the ship." He squeezed his eyes closed at the memory. "The one time," he said, his voice pained, "the one time he tried to tell me how he feels and I blew it. I hurt him."

McCoy folded his arms across his chest and threw a stern look at his younger friend. "So what are you going to do about it?" he demanded, and Kirk's eyes flew open at the forceful tone. He met the insightful blue eyes fixed on his own and a new determination washed over him.

"I have to talk to him," he replied.

McCoy nodded in aproval.

"I think it's way overdue," he said in agreement. He got up from his chair and grinned as he held out his hand toward Kirk.

"Good luck," he added. Kirk managed a faint smile in return as he reached out to grasp his friend's outstretched hand.

"Thanks, Bones," he said. "I think I might need all the luck I can get."