Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or anything related to it - that is the BBC's privilege.

Summary: The events of the episode "Let's Kill Hitler" from River Song's point of view. Multi-chapter. Rated 'T', just in case.

Author's Note: This is a kiriban story I have written for MayFairy, which I have owed her for (I'm guessing) over six months. Sorry it was such a long time coming and I hope you enjoy.

For those people who know of me and are wondering why I wrote this, the answer is simple - to try to prove that I can. Like fezzes, challenges are cool!

CHAPTER ONE

A wise man once said: "We all wear masks. And the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin."

I've hidden behind many masks in my life, been so many different things to so many different people.

Daughter. Secret weapon. Delinquent. Friend. Liar. Thief. Killer. Lover.

But in the background, time was always running out, ticking down the minutes until midnight, the witching hour when the ball ends and all masks must come off.

And so now, as the clock finally strikes twelve for me, I'm writing this in my TARDIS-blue journal, my little book of spoilers. The whole truth and nothing but the truth, no matter how much of my skin comes off in the process. Let all who read it judge me as they will.

My name is River Song and I was born to kill the man I love.

This is my story.

Speed.

The exhilaration of it, the thrill, the complete and utter rush...

I slammed the accelerator to the floor with my high-heeled black boot and watched the speedometer dial quiver in response, leaping higher and higher. Sixty miles per hour...seventy...eighty...the danger was extreme now, the car fish-tailing madly down the quiet, narrow country road, fighting the iron control of my hands on the wheel. Just one slip, one tiny moment of lost concentration, and I would crash and burn. Opening my mouth, I whooped out loud, exulting in the sound of my own manic joy. I could feel the adrenaline charging wildly through my veins, my double heartbeat pounding in my ears.

Living life on the edge, taking every chance, every risk, savouring every moment, that's what it was all about.

The sleek, blood-red bonnet of the stolen Corvette seemed to glow in the hot, late-summer sunshine, the powerful engine purring like a kitten as I pushed it harder and harder. God, I loved this car!

At my back, sandwiched between my heated skin and the black leather upholstery, I could feel the hard, unyielding shape of the gun. I looked into the rear-vision mirror and smiled fiercely at my own reflection. Behind me, in the distance, I could hear the insistent braying of the police sirens, hot on my trail. But they wouldn't catch me, the incompetent pigs, not today.

Just up ahead, I saw the waving, green wall of corn stalks and my eyes narrowed. I knew exactly where they would be. They had been coming here to this field every day for a week, the two of them, carefully mapping out what they would do, how they would attract his attention. So wrapped up in what they were doing, so naive, so careless...they hadn't even noticed me following them. Intent on using their tiny orange Morris Minor to carve his name into the huge field of corn like some sort of bizarre, alien crop circle, a calling card that even he couldn't ignore.

Amy Pond and Rory Williams. In the eyes of the world, or at least to the little piece of it contained in Leadworth, they were my two very best friends. I had grown up alongside them, gone to school with them, gotten them into a thousand childhood scrapes, shared their every sorrow and their every joy.

But the truth? The incredible, bizarre truth that no-one would ever believe? Neither of them knew it - had never known it, throughout all the time I had spent with them - but Amy Pond and Rory Williams were my parents, the biological combination that had given me life. I, Mels, their so-called best friend, was in actual fact their lost daughter, Melody Pond. It had taken me a very long time to find them, to insert myself into their lives, to intertwine my destiny with theirs. Even now, even after all these years, I was unsure whether the bitter, twisted irony of the Universe made me want to laugh or to cry.

Not that it mattered, not really. My feelings were utterly irrelevant, my emotions insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Because, at the end of the day, my biological relationship to Amy and Rory would never be the most important thing about them. The most important thing about them was that, one day, they would lead me to my target. To him, the very reason for my existence.

There was nothing more important than the mission. That fact had been burned repeatedly into my brain for as long as I could remember. Amy Pond might have given birth to me, but Madame Kovarian and the Silence had created me, shaped me and formed me, moulded me into the person I eventually became, for one reason only, for one single purpose. To prevent the question which must never be asked. To save the Universe and everything in it from total annihilation. And I would do it, whatever it took.

In my mind's eye, I could see from above the enormous letters emblazoned into the field of corn, shouting one word to the sky, the name that was not really his name. And, wrenching the wheel to the left, I blasted through the flimsy fence without even slowing down, smashing it into matchsticks as I careened the Corvette across the field, blazing a trail through the corn, intentionally slashing through the message they had left, straight down the middle like an arrow, flying straight and true to the bulls-eye.

The green stalks of corn slapped sharply against the windscreen, obscuring my vision, until at last the car burst through into a clearing, leaping forward with a roar like a crimson panther, at a speed so great that all four wheels nearly left the ground. The tall, blue shape loomed before me, standing in the centre of the flattened circle, like a vivid dream sprung to life. It was just as Amy had described it as we were growing up - just as she had drawn it, folded it from paper, sculpted it from clay, reproducing it obsessively every way she could, over and over again.

Slewing the Corvette around, I slammed on the brakes, piercingly aware of the three people shouting in fear and flinging themselves bodily out of my way. Timing it perfectly, I screeched to a halt, with the rear of the car just inches away from the blue police box.

Always one for a grand entrance, I threw open the door and stepped out of the car, standing with my feet wide apart, my hands on my hips. Off to one side, out of the corner of my eye, I could see Rory helping a shaken Amy to stand, both their mouths hanging open in shock. But, just for once, I had no interest in them. My attention was all for the man who sprawled at my feet in the dirt, the long, black silhouette of my shadow stretching threateningly across his still form. He looked up, shielding his eyes from the glaring sunlight behind me, trying to work out who I was. And, for the very first time, his blue-green gaze met mine, calm and unafraid, despite having been so nearly run down.

Strange eyes, those, I found myself thinking. Old eyes. Eyes that had seen the rise and fall of civilizations across a thousand galaxies. Eyes that did not belong in such a gorgeous young face.

Curiously, I stared down at him, unable to believe that - after waiting for what had seemed like an eternity - he was really here in front of me. The Doctor. The man whose existence threatened the entire Universe. The man I lived only to kill. My gaze assessed every one of his features and then moved on slowly down the length of his body.

"You said he was funny," I said in a clear voice. "You never said he was hot."

"Mels!" Rory exclaimed loudly, his tone completely outraged.

I nearly laughed out loud, the absolute surrealism of the moment going to my head like fizzy bubbles of champagne. Good old Dad! At that moment, he even sounded like the father he didn't know he was.

"What are you doing here?" Amy added, her voice equally incredulous.

"Following you, what do you think?" I shrugged casually, my eyes still on the Doctor as he used the bonnet of the Corvette to pull himself upright.

"Ummmmmm," Rory said, speaking slowly and deliberately, obviously trying to keep his frustration in check. "Where...did you get...the car?"

I stroked the shiny red Corvette lovingly. "It's mine."

Police sirens wailed crazily in the distance, coming closer and closer. I grinned and tossed my dark hair over my shoulder. "...ish."

"Oh, Mels," Amy groaned. "Not again!"

"You can't keep doing this!" Rory expostulated. "You're going to end up in prison!"

"Sorry!" the Doctor interrupted in bewilderment, looking back and forth between the three of us like a spectator at a table-tennis match. Looking at me, he said politely, "Hello!" Then, turning rapidly back to Rory and Amy, he continued, " Doctor not following this. Doctor very lost. You never said I was hot?"

I felt my lips twitching in amusement at the disbelieving note in his voice. So...gorgeous and a bit vain. Amy had been right. He was funny. And sort of endearing, in a "just by being alive, I'm endangering the entire Universe" kind of way. Or maybe I was just getting a bit soft from spending so much time with Amy and Rory.

Reminding myself of my mission, I pointed at the tall, blue box. "Is that the phone box? The bigger-on-the-inside phone box?" I reached out to it and smoothed my hand down its rough wooden surface, caressing it in the same way as I had the Corvette, imagining the excitement of hurtling through time and space in such an unlikely vehicle. It felt surprisingly warm under my touch, almost...welcoming. "Time travel! That's just brilliant."

The Doctor moved to stand next to me, leaning against his ship and blocking the entrance in a way that was supposed to be casual, but which I correctly read as protective. I gave him a sultry smile.

"Oh yeah, I've heard a lot about you." I shot a teasing look over at Amy and Rory. "I'm their best mate."

"Then why don't I know you?" the Doctor asked suspiciously. "I danced with everyone at the wedding. The women were all brilliant. The men were...a bit shy."

"I don't do weddings," I replied, my attention shifting as the police sirens sounded again - much, much closer now. "And that's me out of time."

Moving smoothly, I pulled the gun free and aimed it straight at the Doctor's face.

"Mels!" Amy shrieked.

"For God's sake!" Rory yelled.

But I didn't falter, my gaze cold and threatening, the gun sitting comfortably in my hand like an old friend. Slowly, the Doctor raised his hands.

"What are you doing?" Amy entreated.

I smiled again. I had no intention of pulling the trigger. I knew better than to try to kill a Time Lord with a mere gun. Besides, explaining the mess to the police could prove to be...difficult.

So then, I thought cynically. Let's just move this party to another, more convenient, venue.

"I need out of here...now!"

"Anywhere in particular?" the Doctor asked coolly.

"Well, let's see," I mused, running my eyes thoughtfully over the exterior of the TARDIS. "You've got a time machine. I've got a gun. What the hell – let's kill Hitler!"