Wow.

So, I've had Ruby and Ironhide's story in my mind lately, and I realized that although I liked the way 'Riot' ended with the two of them, I decided that there's still a little more healing that needs to be done between them.

I mean, their first time having sex would certainly be a traumatic and healing experience, don't you think?

I wasn't going to make this chapter 'song-based' like the first chapter, but I was recently listening to 'Dance With The Devil' by Breaking Benjamin; and I was actually ASTOUNDED by how much the lyrics represent the relationship that Ruby had with her father. So even though I wasn't going to make this a songfic chapter, that's how it's turned out.

Here is a link to the song, just take away the spaces, as usual.
www . youtube . com/watch?v=lMSkC2PGyTs

Anyway, I apologise in advance for any mistakes because this is a 16 page chapter, and I've TRIED to find the errors; but proof reading your own work is always tricky, but in any case I sincerely hope you enjoy it. Much love to you all.

xx

Dance With The Devil – Breaking Benjamin

Here I stand,

Helpless and left for dead.

"How are you feeling?"

"Huh?" Ruby lifted her head and caught gaze with the rear view mirror. They were driving along the highway in between towns, the night sky dotted with stars against an inky black canvas. They'd stopped only a few times to give the human female a couple of bathroom breaks, and once for Ironhide to stasis on the side of the road.

"How are you feeling?" Ironhide repeated from the speakers, "You've been…quiet, for the last few days. Is it about…him?"

The Autobot didn't miss the way her eyes narrowed vacantly as she watched the road. It had been six months since their mission in Los Angeles to locate her father, and they had recently decided to take a road trip together; for the chance to just breathe. The Topkick weapons specialist had been sure to inform Optimus of the situation, formally requesting a few weeks of leave from duty to spend the time with his human bond.

The fact that Ruby's aforementioned father was alive and unharmed, despite what Ironhide had wanted to do to the vile spit of a man, was enough to make him somewhat regret his commander's nobility about freedom. Just the mere thought process of what Tito LéTorez had done to Ruby filled him with a dark rage that was so intense, he would admit that he had entertained the thought of what he might have done if the Autobot code didn't restrain him.

Ruby was his bonded, any threat to her was a direct threat on him; and Ironhide had never been one to take threats.

"No." Ruby whispered, in answer to his question. But she paused for a moment, tracing her fingers tensely against the leather upholstery of the truck's cabin; then her voice exhaled in a whisper, "Well…maybe a little…"

"Take your time." He said calmly, knowing the young woman well enough that if he pushed her she could potentially clam up; although she was getting better at trusting, with time. She had spent so long relying on nobody but herself and the drugs she used as an escape that it was difficult for her to be in situations of social dependence.

Ironhide understood her, he knew her mind.

He had earned her trust, it certainly hadn't been easy and every now and again there would be things she didn't want to divulge to him; but her trust was still there. The brash, thick-skinned warrior waited patiently for the woman to speak again; her voice a thoughtful whisper.

"I was just…thinking, that's all. What if that fucker, Tito, comes looking for me?"
Ironhide scoffed at the very idea, "He wouldn't dare. Not after our little…chat. He will never be in your life again."

Ruby tensed her fingers into slight fists, an action which didn't go unnoticed by Ironhide. "You can't know that, Ironhide.. What if one day-?"

"-Ruby." He said quickly, cutting her off with a gentle tone, "Do you really think I would let that glitch anywhere near you?"

There was a long paused before Ruby actually answered, her eyes downcast at the realization and truth in his words; the sincerity of his promise. "…No…"

A heavy sigh resounded from the speakers; Ironhide was clearly frustrated by her frame of mind, but he was not angry with her. It was only natural for her to still be afraid, after all only the man had terrorized her for the entire first half of her life; causing her fear and pain that no sentient being should ever have to suffer. Even so, it still concerned him that she still had issues with believing that he was there for her.

She knew he was, but that didn't stop the irrational fear of being entirely alone in the world.

The seatbelt tightened across the young woman's chest in the closest gesture of a hug that the Autobot could offer her in his alt mode. "You are safe with me, Ruby. You know that, and you have my word that I will never allow him to touch you again. But you have to trust me on that."

Close your eyes, so many days go by.

Easy to find what's wrong,

Harder to find what's right.

Another silence stretched on in the cabin of the Topkick, the only sound being the road rumbling beneath them and the occasional shift of Ruby's body against the leather. After a few minutes, they entered what appeared to be a stop-off little town with a few winding streets and several gas stations. A couple of large buildings littered the scenery, and there appeared to be a motel just off the main street with a car park and a sign saying 'Vacancy' in tacky, neon lights.

"Can we stay there for the night, Ironhide?" she asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had settled in the truck. In answer to her request, he flicked on his indicator and made his way to the motel parking lot. Pulling into a parking space, the engine cut off and the parking brake shifted into place.

"You go and get some rest," he said gently, "I'll see you in the morning."

" Aren't you coming inside? I don't want to leave you out here by yourself." She said, unbuckling her seatbelt and casting a glance in the rear view mirror.

"That's alright, you go and rest-"
"-Ironhide…" Ruby cut in, leaning forward and pressing a firm hand against the dashboard; her brows knitted in a serious expression, "…I want you to come in with me…por favor?" (Please?)

"…Todos los derecho." (Alright) he replied softly, purposefully using a Spanish translation. He'd developed a habit of doing so every now and again, because although she never openly admitted it, Ruby enjoyed having someone that could understand her when she wanted to converse in her native tongue.

The air of the cabin filled with a humid static and the outline shape of Ironhide's large, heavily muscled Holoform came into view. He was wearing his dark denim jeans, black work boots and a worn leather jacket over a snug white shirt. His short hair was mussed and carelessly dishevelled, and the scar over his right eye made her feel strangely safe.

He made up the most dangerous looking man she'd ever seen, and yet he was the one man in her life that she would never fear.

Making eye contact with her, Ironhide gave her the barest of smiles and touched two fingers to her cheek; a gesture of fondness, but with the restraint to not make her feel trapped or confined.

Dismissing the instinct to flinch was getting gradually easier for Ruby to ignore, but only when it came to Ironhide. Everyone else, she continued to keep at arm's length; but she knew that trusting other people would get easier too, given time. She leaned ever so slightly into his touch and then moved away, opening the door of the Topkick and getting out.

"Alright, let's get a room." She said nonchalantly, patting the door and closing it.

The Holoform followed suit and made his way over to her, gently taking her hand in his and interlocking their fingers. With practice born only from a life of living on the streets and fighting for survival, Ruby noticed the way Ironhide's neon eyes scanned the parking lot, zeroing in on the few people in the area and assessing the threat level.

She suddenly got a feeling similar to owning an indestructible shield. Nobody could hurt her while Ironhide was with her; he wouldn't let them. Just the realization made her chest swell with such an unfamiliar safety; he loved her, he would protect her… The role that no other man in her life had served, not even her father; whose very nature it should have been to keep her safe.
"Good evenin'!" came the slightly Texan voice of a cheery woman behind the counter.

She looked to be in her mid to late 50's with dirty blonde hair piled into a high, messy bun. Her eyes looked tired, and she had large pores that were probably from continuously wearing make-up; but she looked like a nice enough woman.

Then again a lot of people looked nice when they weren't, but Ruby decided that her personal insecurities were not warranted to be taken out on this woman. She put on a small smile, trying to use a diplomacy that she hadn't needed in her years on the streets.
"Hola, (Hi) I'd like a room for the night…uh…please." Ruby said slowly, the polite word sounding foreign on her tongue; manners had never been something she'd really used throughout her life. Saying 'please' to a drug dealer didn't get you any better of a deal, and they were out of the alley before there had ever been need for any 'thank you' to be exchanged.

The woman nodded and gestured to Ironhide confusedly with her pen, looking up from her booking folder, "And your friend?"
Ironhide looked up from the carpeted floor and tried to think of something to say that was appropriate. "Oh, I uh…we just-"

"-Oh!" Ruby interrupted, saving him the confusion, "Just…we only need one. He's…my boyfriend."

Yet another foreign word…

She'd never really addressed Ironhide as such, because she'd concluded that whatever they had, whatever they were; was nothing that required such labels. She'd never had another person to call hers; and she fucking hated how damned sappy that sounded, but unfortunately it was true.

Ironhide was hers.

"Sure thing, darlin'!" the woman said brightly, clearly not tired in the slightest despite the late hour. Ruby noticed the coffee cup sitting steaming beside the older woman, and found herself wondering just how many she'd had already. "Now, I'm gonna need a name off you, and a credit card number."

Understandingly, she reached into her pocket and fished out the basic credit card that N.E.S.T had provided for Ironhide to supply her with food and such on their trip. While Ruby was technically still only a civilian boarding at the military, Ironhide refused to let them turn her away. So in exchange for a place to stay, the former drug addict resolved to return the hospitality by performing general cleaning. She was under Autobot protection now, in light of her status as Ironhide's bond; even if their bonding process had been an accident.

The woman wrote down the credit card number and smiled up at Ruby as she read the back to write down the name, a satisfied smile on her foundation coated face. Ruby felt an uncomfortable twinge of panic at the gesture. She'd not actually looked at the name on the credit card; what if it wasn't her name at all?

Or her real name? Tito LéTorez would easily be able to track her if she used his surname anywhere…

"Alright, everything's in order Miss…uh…Ren-a-see-doe? I'm sorry darlin' I don't think I can pronounce that…?"

The woman handed Ruby back the credit card in her manicured fingers, and the Hispanic young woman cast a very subtle glance at the name on the credit card.
Miss R. Renacido.

Ruby had to hide a smirk at the false surname; at the choice of word they'd used for it. The Spanish word for 'reborn'…cute. Looking up, she cleared her throat and tucked the card into her pocket, trying to appear as though she hadn't only just noticed the name on it.
"It's pronounced, Reñacido. Downside to a Spanish heritage I guess…we get stupid ass names." (reborn) Ruby shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant; but was distracted when she heard Ironhide smirk behind her.

He must have been in on it, the name that N.E.S.T had chosen for that fake little credit card. She'd have to ask him about that later, because now she was just curious.

"That sounds so lovely with your accent!" the woman exclaimed, "Could you say something else in Spanish?"

The younger woman shifted on her feet slightly. This was a question she'd been asked a lot by Caucasian men and people from non-Spanish nationality, except usually it had consisted of 'say dirty things in Spanish, baby' or 'show me that sexy foreign language' and things very similar. Needless to say, she wasn't used to someone asking to hear it out of simple curiosity.

"Uh…what…do you want me to say?" she asked uncomfortably, glancing at Ironhide briefly. He looked as though he would be ready to jump in and rescue her as soon as she asked him, and just knowing that made her feel a little bit more at ease. She kept forgetting that she wasn't alone anymore; he was there for her, and that in itself made her concern disappear.

The older woman scrunched up her face a little bit in thought, and for the first time in her life Ruby was tempted to use the word 'endearing' to describe another human being. This woman was clearly open-hearted and expressive in her thoughts; something that the Spanish spit-fire had never truly encountered before. It was pleasant.
"Could you show me how to say 'I love you' in Spanish? It would be nice to say it to my husband."

She was a little taken aback, because Ruby could have sworn that everybody knew that one; certainly enough songs and movies had featured the words! But, not wanting to offend the woman, she shrugged and gave a nod; making sure to speak slowly and pronounce the words carefully for the receptionist to follow. Not that it was a long phrase in the first place
"You say 'Te amo'. It's a pretty simple sentence to remember."

This evidently overjoyed the blonde woman, because she clapped her hands together and giggled; actually giggled. Ruby couldn't actually recall doing that ever in her life, so to see a grown woman doing so was a little…weird. She looked over at Ironhide and shrugged, turning back to the woman; not really knowing how to continue.
Deciding that she just wanted to get upstairs and relax, she rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly and addressed the woman behind the counter.
"Anyway, we're tired so…can we have the room key?" To her surprise, she felt…rude for asking the way that she did; which was strange because there was once a time when Old-Ruby would sooner would have robbed the motel and driven away rather than ask nicely for a damn key.

But Old-Ruby was dead, she reminded herself.

"Please?" she added, the word still sounding strange and out of place in her mouth; but it felt good to be communicating with a normal member of society… One that she didn't have to fuck or kill to get past.

"Oh! Of course, darlin'! I'm so sorry I kept you, please take these. There's a food fridge in the lobby just here with food," she gestured to the large freezer/refrigerator near the stairs before continuing, "so take whatever you need and we can charge it to the room in the morning. You're in room 216."
"Gracias."

"Thank you for your hospitality." Ironhide said in his gruff, gravelly voice, tipping his head a little as he watched Ruby take a few things from the freezers and then followed her up the stairs to help her carry them.

The woman watched them leave for the room and sat back in her seat with a smile, "What a lovely couple."

I believe in you, I can show you that

I can see right through all your empty lies.

I won't stay long, in this world so wrong.

The room that they had been given was not anything particularly fancy.

The front doorway opened into a bedroom with a standard sized television on the wall opposite the foot of a queen size bed, a small bathroom with a shower located just a little beyond the bed. On the side of the mattress closest to the door, there was an archway to the left with a tiny kitchen/dining area. It had basic kitchen appliances and a very small, square table only just big enough for four people to sit uncomfortably close.

The décor was like something out of an 80's television show, and the air smelled a little musty, but it was clean, the sheets were fresh and there was electricity and hot water. Perfectly comfortable for a single night's stay.

Dropping the food onto the table, Ruby looked over their spoils. A frozen dinner of processed butter chicken and rice, two bottles of water, and some chocolate bars were what they'd grabbed, and she happily picked up one of the chocolate bars and bit into it almost viciously. Ironhide watched her as he sat at the table, his chin rested lazily in the Holoform hand. His eerie blue eyes glowed in the fluorescent light, making them appear almost crystalline lilac when he hit the right lighting angle, but Ruby didn't take much notice.

It was still inwardly a little unnerving at how easily she let her guard down around the gruff, brash Autobot. He was dangerous, violent and more powerful than anything she'd ever feared in her life, and yet she felt the safest in his company. Whether or not this had something to do with their 'bond' or simply the amount that she cared for him, she couldn't be sure.

She'd never been foolish enough to love someone before, and even now there were moments where her age-old instincts still told her that he would turn on her and that she needed to escape.
Those instincts were promptly told to shut the fuck up.

A little annoyed at her current train of thought, the chocolate suddenly felt dry in her mouth; and within the span of a moment she didn't feel hungry anymore. Wrinkling her nose, she spat the leftovers into the trash bin and tossed the remainder of the sweet in after it.
"Are you alright?" Ironhide asked, looking up at her in concern.

Ruby gave him the smallest of smiles, ones that were only kept for him, before she slowly made her way over to where he sat in his chair. Her muscles twitched reflexively from uncomfortable proximity as she placed a hand on his jawline, pressing a surprisingly gentle kiss to the Holoform's forehead.

"I'm fine." She said finally, backing up and glancing out of the kitchen, "I'm going to see if I can get that piece of shit shower running."

He gave a nod, "Sure. Take your time, Ruby."

Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight.

Don't you dare look at him in the eye,

As we dance with the devil tonight.

Upon actually entering the bathroom and shutting the door, she was surprised to find fresh towels, and hotel quality soaps, shampoos and a few no-name brand toiletries. There were blister-wrapped disposable toothbrushes and some cheap-ass toothpaste, and Ruby shrugged.

"Works for me." She mused to herself.

Stripping off her clothes, she turned the shower up full blast and stepped under the water, letting the scalding spray beat down on her tired form before brushing her teeth. She and Ironhide had been travelling with no real destination in mind, and she suspected that this trip was probably Optimus Prime's idea; a way to give Ironhide some time with her outside of their alien war.

Not that she was complaining.

As her Topkick companion sifted into her thoughts, she found herself remembering what he had said to her before they'd arrived at the motel; when she'd questioned about her father coming after her one day.
"You are safe with me, Ruby. You know that, and you have my word that I will never allow him to touch you again. But you have to trust me on that."

Sliding her head under the water and lathering shampoo into it, she felt her chest clench with an unusual sense of hurt; not for herself, but for the fact that possibly in some small way Ironhide felt like she didn't trust him. True, maybe her instincts still feared the worst; but in her heart she knew that he would never hurt her…never allow harm to come to her.

Ruby did trust him.

A heavy sigh escaped her as she rinsed away the shampoo, following it with conditioner and covering her body with soap scrub. She spent a long time in the bathroom, mostly just trying to will the water to wash away all her flaws and mistakes, to cleanse her and make her clean in more ways than one. So many things that she'd done that she was ashamed of, things that would probably never leave her for the rest of her life; even though with Ironhide they seemed to not hurt so much.

True, she was an emotional fuck-up…but she was healing. She wanted to heal.

And Ironhide was helping it happen.

"Take your time, Ruby." His words from not half an hour before rang through her brain, and a sudden, dawning realization hit her like a train.

In a lot of ways whether consciously or not; Ironhide was always telling her to 'take her time' in many different aspects. To Ruby it was not a simple phrase that he'd said, it had more meaning for her than that; it had been about her healing.

She and Ironhide had been bonded for nearly a year now, and he had yet to attempt more than light kisses and protective embraces with her. He did not ask her for, or about, sex.

Never.

Take my time? She thought, shutting off the water and ringing out her long, chocolate hair down the drain before climbing out. She threw a towel over her shoulders dried herself off squeezing out the excess moisture in her hair and ruffling it to loosen the strands. She managed to catch sight of herself in the fogged, streaky mirror, and lowered the towel to stare at her body.

Scars. There were plenty of them on her… Knife fights, drug needles, a couple of cigarette burn scars; the lists was practically endless. But staring at herself in that hotel mirror brought another revelation on her that she'd never really considered before, since meeting the Autobots and Ironhide…

There were no new scars.

Lifting her lithe fingers, she touched a few of the faded marks along her body; tracing around to the small of her back where she knew her tattoo was. She knew what it looked like, a simple design of pretty marks and delicate lines; her first form of rebellious freedom in a way.

Take your time.

Her heart swelled at the statement, and all of a sudden she felt like crying. Why the fuck did she feel like crying? Was it that she was turning into a sap? Or that Ironhide was so far under her skin and in her soul that he affected her so intensely? No…Ruby knew exactly what it was that was making her want to cry.

It was the fact that those simple three words provided more love, trust and patience than she'd ever been shown in her life.

The Autobot weapons specialist would never harm her, pressure her, take advantage of her, force her or humiliate her. Just the understanding made her fingers tremble with the unfamiliarity of such bone-deep love that it was scary.

Narrowing her eyes at her scars, she found herself feeling defiant. Every bastard that raped her, every dealer that took advantage…every 'friend' that hurt and shamed her; every person in her life that was supposed to love and protect her and didn't. Her eyes found purchase in the reflection, glaring at herself until she saw all the flaws and demons shining out through her own eyes and back to herself. She had a message for them.

"You won't stop me from living my life."

Her resolve steeled, her mind made up and her heart determined; there was something that she wanted to do for the man she loved. Something that she had every right to do.

Wrapping the white towel over her bare body and tucking it in securely, she opened the bathroom door and felt the steam whoosh out into the room. Ironhide had turned on the television and was sitting on the edge of the mattress watching a news program; he turned to offer her a greeting.

"Feel better?" he asked as he turned, eyes widening a fraction as he noticed what she was wearing, or what she wasn't. To his credit though, Ruby noticed that his eyes only cast a very brief initial glance over her form before gluing them to her own eyes; clearly determined not to look at her in a state of undress, which was more than she could say of any other man she'd met.

This only strengthened her resolve; they deserved the chance to be happy, with each other. And no memories or inner demons were going to stop her; no matter how terrifying they would be to fight through.

"Much better." She said casually, evidently trying to pretend that she was not naked underneath the towel.

Ironhide held eye contact with her and nodded. "I'm glad." He said calmly before turning back to the news, clearly trying to give her privacy to dress, or change, or do something other than stand there in a towel in the same room as him.

She had to admit, she was impressed and relieved by his self-control, despite the fact that she knew he had noticed. Alien or not, he was a male; but he had the restraint and resolve not to act upon his wants or desires. But in all honesty Ruby was tired of keeping him waiting, even though he'd never once made mention of it.

She was tired of him being wary about touching her in even the most innocent of ways, tired of him having to contemplate what horrible memories a simple kiss would make her relive. This was her life, and Hell be damned if she was going to let those fucking monsters from her past ruin it for her.

Moving onto the bed behind him, she watched what he was viewing on the television for a moment, before she gently placed her hands on his shoulders, softly and carefully tracing her fingers down over his front and locking her arms in a hug across his chest from behind. He raised a hand and gently traced circles on her forearm in a comforting gesture. His eyes were closed and she noticed that the Holoform was breathing deeply, slowly…relaxed.

"Remember what you said…on the way here?" Ruby asked softly against him, "About me having to trust you?"

There was a brief silence before, "…Yes. Why?"

"I do trust you, Ironhide." She planted a soft kiss on the exposed skin below the nape of his hairline, just beneath his ear, "I trust you more than anything… Que usted eran mi Salvador, Ironhide…" (You were my saviour, Ironhide)

She heard him chuckle against her, the gravelly sound of his mutated accent rumbling against her body as he did so, "I am not a saviour, Ruby. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time…and I was just lucky enough to be the one you got stuck with."

She couldn't refrain from releasing a small whisper of a laugh against him; the heat of her breath causing a chill across his skin and making the Holoform break out in gooseflesh.

"You didn't think you were so lucky at the time, if I recall rightly, guard dog?"

He smiled at the sound of the nickname she'd given him during her first arrival at N.E.S.T; before either of them had born any mutual respect of one another. Back when they'd hated each other…oh how far from that they were now. His hand tentatively reached up and caught a loose strand of her long hair as it hung over his shoulder; twining it in his fingers in a surprisingly gentle manner.

"Not going soft are you, tough guy?" she murmured against him. She smiled as she heard a playfully offended growl roll up his chest as he leaned his head into her arms that encased him.

"Only between you and me; don't tell anybody." He murmured with a smirk.

Trembling, crawling across my skin

Feeling your cold, dead eyes

Stealing the life of mine

Swallowing the lump of nervousness in her chest, Ruby made her first move and planted a soft, open-mouthed kiss against the skin of his neck. To his credit, Ironhide sat motionless even though he was no doubt confused by her action; Ruby never usually instigated such suggestive physical touch. Her nose traced the clean-shaven skin of his cheek as her kisses trailed up along his face; her fingers playing cautiously with the hem of his jacket collar. It was when her nails slid underneath the collar of his shirt and scraped gently across the skin of his pectoral muscle that he reacted, gently taking her wrist between his fingers and tugging her hand away.
"Ruby, stop. What in Primus' name are you doing?"

Unlatching her hand from his tender grasp, she placed her slender fingers along his jawline and turned his face towards her so that she could press her lips against his. The kiss was slow, gentle and languid; they had all the time in the world. Drawing back from his rather surprised facial expression, she traced a finger across his jawline; trying to ignore the trembling of her hands at the thought of what she was preparing to do.

"Ironhide…" she whispered carefully, saying his name more like a statement than an actual address. She gripped the jacket he was wearing and managed to tug him back a little closer to the middle of the bed, moving to his front and encasing his face in her hands with a heavy breath.

Looking him in the eyes for a good few seconds before leaning forward and pressing her mouth to his neck, her hands supported either side of his hips. It felt…unreal to be administering such affectionate touches because although Ruby was more than familiar with the act of sex, she'd never in her life had the experience of love.

Trusting and tender love.

"Ruby." Ironhide warned, pressing a hand to her shoulders, "Stop; you don't need to do this."

In protest, she dragged her tongue across the Holoform's jugular, feeling the false skin twitch at the action. Her hands traced gently to his wrists, running her fingers up his forearms with soft touches; her mocha skin stark against his pale white. The instinct to retreat was screaming at her, every muscle was flexed to run; but she forced herself to ignore it. This had nothing to do with her past, she wasn't going to let it fucking beat her anymore.

But his refusal distracted her; Ironhide had placed a hand on each of her shoulders and forced her back to look at her. His gleaming, cerulean eyes were sharply trained on her, his breath just a little bit taken aback by her rather unusual display of physical affection.

"I have told you before, Ruby," he rumbled in that deep, gravel tone, "I do not need physical gratification from you; you don't need to fragging do things like this anymore!"

To his surprise, her eyes narrowed and she pushed his grip away to look at him, "I'm not fucking estúpido, (stupid) Ironhide. I know you don't want anything from me." She took in a deep breath and tried to quell her habitual anger. She may have been on the path to healing her emotional wounds, but she was still a force to be reckoned with. She hadn't survived everything life had thrown at her by taking it lying down; but sometimes she had to remind herself that she was no longer surrounded by enemies.

She had friends, allies; and she had to keep reaffirming that she would need to treat them as such.

"…Ironhide…" she said tensely, lifting a hand to touch his face cautiously. She didn't miss the subtle response of the Holoform's jaw leaning in to the touch with his eyes closed, "Look at me, would you?"

His eyes slid open revealing the neon irises to her, giving her something to focus on as she chewed her lip; admittedly a little nervous. She knew sex, and she knew it well…but this was different. This was opening herself up to someone who saw more than just her physical body; Ironhide had seen into her, and the concept of someone knowing so much about her so deeply…terrified her. The feeling of his hand firmly cupping her jawline brought her from the dark train of thought that threatened her, and she saw the seriousness in his expression.

"You don't need to do this." He said reassuringly, his calloused thumb stroking a circle just under the shell of her ear, "I am not asking anything of you, Ruby; I never would."

"I know that." She said sternly, "But…I…Quiero, (I want to) Ironhide. With you."

He gave a heavy, rasping rumble as he tightened his grip on her and pressed his forehead to hers; a gesture that had become the most common display of affection between the two of them. "But with what you went through-"

"Fuck it, Ironhide!" she snapped, lifting both her hands to clutch them into his short, spiky hair; trying to find some emotional grounding from him, "I'm done with letting my past chase me! I've been chained to it for so fucking long; and with…everything that you and the Autobots did to…save me, I finally get a chance to move forward. Don't worry about my demons, they're mine to deal with; but I want this with you."

From underneath his hand he could feel her swallow thickly, trying to find the will to continue with what she was saying; clearly ignoring the vivid memories that would no doubt be in the forefront of her mind.

"He was the first man to touch me…" she hissed, closing her eyes painfully as she cradled their foreheads together, "…Ironhide, I want you to be the last."

I believe in you

I can show you that I can see right through

All your empty lies, I won't last long

In this world so wrong

Ruby could feel the tension in his shoulders as she held him, and a few long moments passed as he processed the thoughts; their breath intermingling as they sat with their foreheads pressed together. For a minute, she thought it just a tad ironic that Ironhide was more afraid of the emotional trauma than she was; it was clear that he did not want to be the cause of any recurring memories or fears.

"…You're sure this is what you want?" he murmured.

A long, contemplative pause hung in the air as she tossed over the implications in her brain, but her mind was already made up. "Yes-"

"-Ruby, you need to be certain."

"Ironhide." She barked in a whispered, twisting her fingers a little tighter into his dark hair, "I'm sure, I'm certain, this is what I want with you. I'm fucking done with running."

Before he could offer any more protests (because if he did she'd probably have second thoughts and never get this far ever again) she sealed his mouth in a kiss, both of her hands clutching at his hair, his neck, his shirt; whatever she could grip to find purchase from her thoughts.

Quite gently, she kissed him while she slid her right leg over his hips, straddling his lap as she continued to administer affection on him. She could feel the denim of his pants against her bare legs under the towel, but she blocked it for now; instead choosing to trace a hand into the collar of his leathers and trace her tongue across his lower lip. The cold metal of her tongue bar touching the sensitive, chapped skin of his mouth brought about his coherency of the situation; he was determined to have a level head for this. Softly separating their lips, he held Ruby firmly as she sat atop him.

"Ground rules." he growled sternly, fighting the desire to continue kissing her, "This is your pace Ruby; we do this your way. I want this to be as easy on you as we can make it…tell me what you need me to do."

If pressed to admit it, Ruby would deny that she suddenly felt the urge to cry; but she truly did. Her heart swelled with sentiment at his words; never had she been asked to set her pace, or to lay down rules.

It had always been 'fuck for drugs, or be fucked whether you want to or not'.

"Then…no… No Spanish." She said finally, her fingers subconsciously clenching inside Ironhide's jacket collar; an action that didn't escape his notice, "You can't. When I guy speaks Spanish while I'm…fucking them…It's too much like…like…"

"Alright, no Spanish." He finished for her, knowing that the dangerous place in her head was only ever one memory prompt away from spilling forth. She'd dealt with her demons to a certain degree when they had confronted her vile father; but emotional wounds and traumas like the ones Ruby had been faced with would take years to heal. It was a long road ahead of them, but this was certainly a large stride in the right direction. "What else?"

Her fingers clenched into his hair and she planted a deep kiss to his throat before she murmured against his skin, "Whatever you do...don't call me Baby, Sexy, Kitten, Hot-Lips or anything degrading like they did. .."
"Ruby…" he murmured, lifting her chin and planting a kiss to her mouth before continuing, "I would never disrespect you."
The Hispanic woman's eyes dropped to his lips; her brown orbs becoming half-lidded with an almost serene expression, "I know." She whispered, recapturing his lips and pressing into him with a little more conviction than before, "Now stop arguing."

Her hands slid to the inside of his jacket and pushed it back on his shoulders, letting it slide halfway down his arms carelessly. A gentle growl rumbled up his chest as he felt his Holoform's representation of his Spark warm in response to her presence. With a muffled sound of surrender he lifted a hand to cup beneath her ear and returned her kiss. Ironhide still wasn't…experienced with using the Holoform for such situations, but Ruby had certainly shown him a trick or two in regard to kissing; no matter how rarely he allowed her to perform such actions with him.

Her tongue slid against the wall of his mouth, the feeling of the metal from her piercing felt weird against him; it made a bizarre scraping sensation as it touched his teeth. Leaning into him and not separating their mouths, Ruby managed to get the jacket off him; barely noticing as it started to disintegrate upon leaving contact with his Holoform. She focused her attentions instead on the snug white shirt that he wore, lifting it tightly over his head and throwing it off to join the dissipating leathers.

Her hand lowered from his shoulder and traced firmly down the bare ligature of his stomach muscles, feeling the grooves and dips in his bulky form as she heard his breath hitch in his throat; her nails catching his skin occasionally. Ironhide had to fight the habit of reprimanding her when he felt her lithe, delicate fingers pop the button on his jeans. Normally he wold grab her wrists and guide them away, scolding her for trying to slip into old habits; but this was what she wanted.

This was what she needed to heal herself.

Sliding her hand into the waistband of the jeans and clutching the back of his head with the other, she slid them down past the Holoform's thighs; allowing him to lift his hips to aid her with the task. As soon as they lost contact with his body, they began to slowly dissipate into tiny electrical sparks; like fairy lights.

"Ruby," he murmured against her mouth, unable to stop one of his hands from gentle tangling itself into the hair at the nape of her neck, "this is your pace, but I…You know I am inexperienced with human interfacing."

The small ripple of nervous fear that she'd been feeling subsided a little at hearing his words, somewhat relieved at the realization that she really was the one in charge. She set the pace, she made the moves, she would teach him about what she knew. Nodding a fraction to show that she heard him, she separated their lips again; but only a breadth apart.

"I know. Don't worry…"
"It's not me I worry for, Ruby."

Deciding to ignore the remark, she instead chose to prove her willingness by taking his hand and lifting it to where the towel was tucked in at her chest. She leaned down and planted a kiss on his temple, whispering against his skin.

"I'm okay, Ironhide." She breathed firmly, swallowing thickly as she felt her next words brewing in her chest; surprised by just how much she meant them, "I…trust you."

Never… She had never said that to someone before. In all her life, Ruby had never been given the chance to offer her trust to someone; they all fucked her over before she ever got that close…

Clenching her fingers over Ironhide's, she forced him to release the towel.

The white fabric pooled over their bodies as it crumpled, and Ironhide took it between his fingers to toss it over the edge of the bed. Seating herself in his lap, she took his face in both hands and surprised him with an intense kiss, her tongue prompting his into battle. Not one to be outdone, the weapons specialist followed her lead and traced his own against the wall of her mouth; the warm taste still so foreign considering they had kissed like this so few times.

With a muffled sound against his lips, she tightened her grip on him; pressing against his bare, muscular chest and pushing him down onto the bed. She ignored the fluttering in her stomach in favour of tracing a free hand down the musculature of his abdomen; feeling the rivets and canyons of his body beneath her.

It was a little bit of a power trip to know that she was in charge, that he would do anything she asked of him and nothing without her permission. It made her feel safe to know that even if she were to call it quits he would allow it, even if he were halfway inside her. Just the knowledge of that made her not want to back out.

They deserved this.

Sliding her hand further down his stomach, Ruby wove her fingers between where their skin join to find his penis. A surprised growl rolled up his chest against his own volition and she noticed the way his fingers tightened in her hair, nails ticklishly catching her scalp.

In all the years that Ruby had been buying drugs with sexual favours, it had been years since she'd done a hand job; most of them preferred her skilled mouth anyway. Sex and favours were what she knew, what she was good at.

Even so, this wasn't about favours; it was about healing and respect.

Trust.

"R-Ruby-" Ironhide choked, astonished by the sensations she was causing as her fingers traced his length; her nails occasionally catching the underneath. She could feel the hum of Energon in his body intensifying to a higher pitch, the same way a heartbeat might increase in a human. Sealing his lips in another deeply intense kiss, she squeezed at his penis and actually felt a sense of gratification as she felt him groan into her mouth and his hips buckled against her ministrations.

"Relax, Ironhide…" she muffled against him, sliding her thigh against his and moving to rest skin to skin with him.

As if finally realizing that he could move (however difficult it felt with her hands wrapped around him) one of his hands slid from her hair and down her collarbone to the voluptuous slope of her breast. Cautiously guarding his strength, his fingers traced the underside; making the young woman intake through her nose, clearly she hadn't been entirely prepared for the feeling of a man reciprocating for her. Trying to ease any discomfort she may be feeling, he traced the fingers of his other hand over the shell of her ear as he kissed her; his occupied hand tracing a thumb over her breast in an explorative manner.

She couldn't deny that although his touches were new and a little bit nerve wracking, they were not unwanted and nor were they…unpleasant. Their tongues tangled and Ruby teased his with the bar that was through hers, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as she tightened her grip on his erection; noting another uncontrolled rumble that bubbled up from his chest. Moving his hand across her skin and tracing around to her back, his massive palm pressed the small of her back and encouraged her closer into the bed as she rested atop him; intoxicated by the sensations that he was inexperienced in.

Ironhide's other hand traced from her hair and down the side of her body gently, noting the way her skin broke out into gooseflesh. However whether this was from the touch itself or the fear behind it, he was unsure. As he trailed his fingers down her thigh, he was suddenly caught off guard as she released her grip on the Holoform's sensitive flesh and grabbed his wrists; pinning them up by his shoulders in an awkward hold. Ruby's long, dark brown hair hung about him in straight, damp tangles and several strands tickled his bare chest; the sensation causing the muscles to twitch reflexively.

Her liquid sienna eyes were glassy, fearful as she regarded him. The Holoform's mass made him bulkier than a lot of men she'd been with; the young woman could probably fit her skull in one of his hands. But despite his girth, she was astounded by how gentle and compliant he was with her.

Not just now…but even when she'd hated him.

Granted, they hadn't got off to a brilliant start and she'd been on the receiving end of his restraining holds and arms locks, some of which had been less than gentle. But he'd never struck her, never hit her, punched her, violate her; Hell, he'd not even kissed her without permission. Against any volition of her own, she felt her heart swell with so much love and content; a feeling that for someone as strung out and on the edge as she had once been, was surreal.

She looked back at the person she'd been just over a year ago…and felt ashamed.

The Ruby she had been was dark, twisted and cynical. She'd lied, cheated, stolen, committed fraud…even killed. Too many times a deal had gone sour, or someone had crossed her; and she'd been forced to take a life. It sickened her to think that there were patches of her life that she didn't even remember, times when she'd been so high and out of it that she'd had no self-control; that the drugs causing her so much harm were something she had fought to obtain.

Ruby had no doubt that if a child had been in the way of her fix, she would have attacked them in an addicted rage.

It sickened her.

"Ruby…?" Ironhide's voice broke her from the memories, and that was when she realized that she was crying; her tears stained his smooth chest below her and he had craned his neck to bury his face at her throat, "…Tell me…"

She shook her head and blocked off the tears, feeling ashamed at having had the nerve to cry. The things she'd done were her fault, and she had no right to cry for the ones she'd hurt and cheated in the process. It was their right to grieve and cry, not hers.

"It's fine…I'm fine." She whispered with her voice a little bit thicker from the strain of holding back the tears.

Dipping her head to recapture the Holoform's lips, she slid her hand down between their bodies and took his shaft in her hand once more. This time, instead of a surprised sound coming from the man below her, he moaned into her mouth. He was getting used to the sensations, and what to expect from them; but Ruby doubted he would be prepared for what sex itself would feel like. With the thought of it, she mentally steeled herself for the next step.

Enough fucking around, she thought.

Shuffling up past his thighs, Ruby kept their lips attached as she lifted her hips a little and held him steady beneath her. Then, deciding it was better to simply have the initial beginning of the act over with, she pushed herself onto him; enveloping the turgid flesh beneath her with her body.

Ironhide was certainly not prepared for the feeling of her searing heat absorbing him; it was unlike anything that any Cybertronian could ever experience. His head fell back and his Holoform's eyes sealed shut as a soundless snarl escaped his throat. A guttural sound erupted in something between a growl and a moan, and Ruby was surprised that she found the sound arousing rather than frightening.

Because she was the one to make him feel this good.

Pulling him up by his wrists, she drew him into a sitting position and bent her head to his neck. Her tongue dragged across his collarbone just as she rotated her hips, sending shocks of pleasure through both of their bodies. Reactively, Ironhide's hands fell to her hips; gently savouring the skin there as his body started to learn the pattern, the rhythm.

Pelvis to pelvis, chest to chest. Ruby was not used to being the one on top, the one in control; it was what she wanted, how she wanted. The power was liberating, she would fight through the demons in her head; for Ironhide.

"Ironhide…" she hissed against his throat, drawing up and flushing their hips together once more, "…you've got…to move."

Say goodbye,

As we dance with the devil tonight

Don't you dare look at him in the eye

As we dance with the devil tonight.

He didn't feel exactly coherent at present, but he managed to process her request and raised his body to meet hers, near seeing stars at the sensation of her wrapped around him. The pace was unhurried and he was not going to be the one to increase it; this was one of Ruby's last steps to healing, and the usually gruff weapons specialist was going to allow this at her own tempo. It still astounded him how the woman had managed to get under his skin, even during their first meeting.

Her headstrong fury and unrelenting will had clashed head-on with his sheer power and cantankerous temper. They were a perfect match and a polar opposite set in one, but to see her now… She made the occasional joke and was not so quick to physical violence anymore. Perhaps with this last hurdle, Ruby's life would finally be her own again; free of the chains her father had cast her all those years ago.

Her legs circling his hips broke the Autobot's thoughts, her calves hooking behind the small of his back and flipping them so that she lay beneath him. His Spark near plummeted from the realization that she was actually deigning him some control, trusting him. Following her earlier lead, he thrust against her as he held her thighs in his grip; suddenly understanding the power female humans seemed to always have over their male counterparts. He'd never understood, but now…if this was the weapon they were wielding; what chance did men have?

Unable to stifle a growl, Ironhide bent forward and pressed a rough kiss against her ribcage as he continued to move with her, one of his hands hooked in behind her knee to give them deeper movement.

Beneath him, Ruby had found herself of two minds.

She had been fighting off familiar demons and buried memories successfully, instead finding solace in the pleasures of a man who loved her. Her eyes were squeezed shut in the sensations as he leaned down to caress the line of her ribcage with his lips; her nails finding purchase on his bare, muscular back. But as her eyes opened to take in the scene Ironhide hit the spot deep within her that made pleasurable white flash across them, her vision melded somewhere between reality and memory; seeing a head of dark hair in the bottom of her sight.

Her frame of mind began to falter, and she couldn't find where her world began and her nightmare ended, it suddenly didn't feel like a lover she was consenting to, but the father she had once fought against. Her nails dug deeper into the man's skin on his back; drawing blood as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to determine the correct source of the rhythmic sensations; friend or foe.

As his length drove home once more, she gasped and dug her heels almost painfully into his back, not sure whether she was trying to pull him closer. She could not solidly remember where they were or who she was with, was it her lover or her abuser? Ironhide or Tito? Was she safe, or was she fighting once again for her survival.
"Cómo... Cómo es posible esto-?" (How…How is this possible-?) she gasped to herself.

To her shock, the movement slowed. Unbeknownst to her, Ironhide had detected the Spanish and suddenly he realized that she was experiencing exactly what he had feared she would. She'd slipped into a mind-frame of her past, reliving memories and trapping herself there without even knowing it. And it was all his fault for allowing this whole thing!
Primus damn it! He thought furiously of himself, reaching to grip her as he slowed his movement to a stop; holding her face gently in his hands.
"Ruby." He rumbled to her, "Ruby open your eyes; you are safe."

Ruby? She thought distantly, Ruby…not Sasha? That's right! She was Ruby now, Sasha was dead; lost to the battles she was not strong enough to win…Ruby was strong, she had allies, the Autobots… Ironhide…

Ruby was free.

Hold on,

Hold on.

Say goodbye,

As we dance with the devil tonight

Her eyes flew open as tears welled in the corners and she saw a pair of neon blue irises glowing back at her. She raked her hands from his back and twisted them harshly into his short hair, sealing their mouths together roughly and sucking at his tongue; drawing it into her own mouth. "Ironhide." She moaned with conviction, reaffirming to herself that it was her lover and she was safe with him. "M…move. Don't stop…"

Sliding one of his hands to the back of her head and tangling her hair around his fingers, Ironhide breathed a sound of relief through his nose and pulled her close, obeying her command and beginning to rock his hips against hers again, surprised by how readily he had been willing to stop altogether just because she might ask it.

Even if it was one of the most intensely pleasurable things he'd ever experienced from Earth, he would have stopped in a heartbeat if that was what she needed; he would not take advantage of her.

A strange feeling of liquid fire began to build up in the Holoform's abdomen as her drove against her, feeling her legs tightening around his hips as she kissed him; her fingers still twisted into his hair. As he took hold of one of her thighs and pulled her a little closer into his thrusts, she separated their lips and gave a gasping moan.
"Shit…Ironhide, there it's – ah – so close to…Oh!" her nails bit deeper into the flesh of his back as he buried himself to the hilt at a slightly different angle; hitting deeper.

This new position, with her legs raised just a little bit higher to his ribs, was the one they kept as they moved together; the Holoform's stamina allowing no break in his rhythm as the two of them strove for completion. He came before her, burying himself as deeply as he could when the overload hit him, and as Ruby followed him over the edge she bit his lip harshly; drawing blood when she did so, her face streaked with tears as the two of them collapsed together.

They were both spent, physically and emotionally.

Her were closed in bliss as she waited out the sensations, marvelling at just how incredibly they were when one was willing. A touch to her cheekbone caused her to crack open her brown orbs, seeing Ironhide's gaze focused on the damp streaks across her face with a concerned expression.

"You're crying…" he murmured with that rasping rumble, "Ruby, did I hurt you…?"

With a smile more content than any she'd worn in her life, she languidly raised her fingers to his mouth as he lay beside her on the bed. "Not in the slightest, 'Hide…" she whispered gently, "I'm…safe with you…I'm safe…"

Her tone suggested that she was testing the way the words sounded in her mouth, as though still somewhat disbelieving of their meaning; still trying to grasp the concept they offered. Soft lips tilted up in the corners as she shuffled closer to Ironhide on the bed, both of their heads rested on the pillows. Ruby pressed her forehead against his and raised a hand to his hair, tickling his scalp with her nails.

"I…I love you." She breathed gently, her eyes closed in the first form of total peace that she'd ever experienced before, "I'm so in love with you…"

Reaching beneath them to pull the thin hotel sheets up over their hips he then rested his arm across her waist; languidly caressing her smooth mocha skin beneath the Holoform's calloused fingers.

"And I you, Ruby 'Reñacido'…" he rumbled against her forehead, kissing it with a gentleness that disguised the true power he was capable of. He heard her give a sighing laugh through her nose as she smiled, her eyes still closed in contentment. He found himself unable to resist doing the same.

"Névarez." She whispered breathily.

"Hm?"

My mamá. Her maiden name was Névarez."

Ironhide's eyes opened a fraction as his fingers traced her lips, "Are you sure you want to do that? Calling yourself that is a connection to Tito, isn't it?"

She looked at him softly, her gaze holding none of the fury or powerfully bitter rage that it had when they had first met, "I'm ready to have a last name, Ironhide…I want it to be hers. She deserves a second chance as much as I do."

"And your views on him trying to track you with it? What about that?"

She smirked to herself, leaning forward to plant a kiss on his mouth before whispering against him, "I'd like to see him fucking try…"

Pulling her tightly against his bare chest, feeling the raw length of her body pressed against his own with relish; Ironhide buried his face into her long, dark hair, "He would not even get close." He growled protectively, planting a kiss to her neck and hugging her close. He felt her own fingers grazing his skin in a reciprocating manner as she smiled against him.
"When we get back to base," she whispered exhaustedly, "I think I'm going to try and…find myself a job in D.C. I don't…know what, but I want to be…normal."
"…As normal as you can be with a Cybertronian lover…" he murmured in an almost teasing manner.

She scoffed at the statement and kissed him, "Best non-normal thing that's ever happened to me." Her expression grew more serious as she looked him deep in the eyes, "I mean that, Ironhide. You are the best thing in my life…you saved me."

The Holoform shook his head slowly, "No, Ruby. You were strong enough to save yourself; you've said it before many times. You are capable and wilful, and you deserve every happiness you find; wherever you find it."

"Yeah well, don't get any fucking ideas about running off on me, robot." She said challengingly, sealing their lips together in another kiss as she reached for his hand. She felt him smirk against her, their competitive attitudes clashing and causing him great amusement.

"Never, human."

Oh how he loved this creature; despite all her flaws, trials and nightmarish personal demons he loved her.

She had fought through hells that a lesser willed person might have surrendered to. Ruby had survived where many had crumbled; and it had been by her sheer will to fight that she had come literally running into his life. To have found a human mate would have once seemed absurd to the weapons specialist, but now; with this fiery and magnificent female wrapped safely in his arms, it didn't seem so farfetched.

They both had their scars, mental and physical; and their endeavours were far from over…and the road to recovery would be a long one for both of them, but they would get there. They had already survived Hell and beyond before finding one another, their strengths had been revealed long before meeting and they had both learned to fight for the right to live. Ironhide, with his ongoing war with the Decepticons who had destroyed his home, and Ruby with the people in her life who had robbed her of innocence and childhood; neither were without their blemished histories.

But together, they had a new chance to move forward and be happy; regardless of the challenges that no doubt lay ahead of them. They could face them head on and not fear the cost, because now they had each other; and there would always be something for them to come back to at the end of their day, at the end of all the trials and hardships. Despite their equally strong and independent personalities constantly butting heads and contesting one another; they were happy.

She was happy.

Ruby could move forward knowing that there would always be someone to catch her, to be her sword, be her shield; whatever it was that she needed to be safe. There would never be anyone she loved or trusted as much as she did him; the one who had come thundering into her life with snide remarks and harsh reactions. Her heart belong to him, her life was back in her own hands now; under the control of no-one else…and she was ready to start living it, with him.

Freedom…was hers.

Don't you dare look at him in the eye,

As we dance with the devil tonight

Hold on, hold on.

Goodbye...