Author Notes: Hello to everyone! I'm just about drowning in angst (from Hold Me Now) and drama (from My Tribute to JD's The Marriage Stone) so here's some fluffy humour to balance it out. It's a short and fun three parter about Kaname and Zero where their relationship is more similar to my Taking the Next Step story instead of Hold Me Now.

It will feature a KxZ lemon because I feel I owe Kaname after writing HMN, LOL. This is my first attempt in writing in first person style, Kaname's POV. Hope you enjoy the silliness and don't forget to let me know :D

Summary: Kaname is hungry for chicken pot pie and for Zero. He might be hopeless in the kitchen but he's pretty good at getting what he wants. KxZ lemon.

Rating: 'M'

Disclaimer: Vampire Knight could only and does belong to the great Matsuri Hino.

- Story Start -

I have no idea what prompted me to do this experiment. Well, doing it is fine. Enjoyable in fact, as far as I can tell. What I mean is I have no idea why the hell am I writing it down. For documentation, you say? Well... OK. Just in case I forget some day and need to refer to my notes. Hah. I chuckle at that. How on earth could I forget anything? I'm a pureblood! My memory is second to none. Besides, the subject I'm going to use for this ah, experiment, ensures I won't be forgetting anytime soon.

It's Zero, you see. Well, of course it's Zero, who else would it be? I roll my eyes. Who else would I use – uh, I mean ask? Not that I'm asking. He'll say no and then the experiment won't happen and I won't have anything to write down. So nope, no asking. Just take, Kaname, like you always do. I give a devious chuckle and conveniently nudge aside the times when I give instead of take. I love those times too, don't get me wrong. But now, I intend to take.

Oh yes.

All right. Let's go into my enormous, gleaming kitchen (where I can never find anything except the tea set) and see if I've got everything I need. I'm sure I can find them if I really want to. Right. Notepad and pen at the ready? Check. Easy Chicken Recipes book placed on the counter and opened at Chicken Pot Pie on page twenty three? It looks really good. Check. Ingredients for said pie? I run through the list of items and wander over to the big, softly humming and strangely intimidating refrigerator in the corner. I pull open the double doors. Chicken, chicken. That is the main ingredient listed in the recipe and this is Chicken Pot - damn. Where's the chicken? I blink and adjust my mental image of a clucking hen to what it must look like after being slaughtered and de-feathered. I grab a freezer bag and peer at it. Is this chicken? It must be. I press the bag lightly with a thumb. It doesn't squawk but it's white meat so it must be. Ooh look, a tub of double chocolate ice cream! Zero must have bought it yesterday when he went shopping. I'll just have a - no. Focus, Kaname! Experiment, remember? Experiment first and enjoyment later. Business before pleasure. But not this time, I singsong to myself, directing a devious chuckle at the frozen tub in my hand. This time, it's experiment and enjoyment at the same time.

Oh yes.

I regretfully put back the ice cream, making a mental note to devour it later. Main course before dessert. Hunter before ice cream. OK, what else do I need? The recipe said frozen peas. Uhm. I peer into the freezer again, ignoring the siren call of the double chocolate ice cream. I don't see any peas. They should be green, right? Oh well, I'm sure Zero has everything he needs. He promised to make me the pie today and he went shopping yesterday. Zero never forgets his promise. Never.

Oh, speak of my dear hunter, that's him approaching the kitchen now. I quickly close the fridge and replace the predatory smile on my face with a pleasantly innocent one instead. Zero's just finished his shower after returning from a successful HA mission. He's always successful. He's good at what he does. He'll be a bit tired now after taking down three renegade Es. But he'll be clean and dressed in his running shorts and one of those ridiculously old and torn T-shirts that no self-respecting lover of a pureblood would ever be caught dead in. But I understand they're comfortable. Well yes, actually, they are. I've worn them before. In fact, I'm wearing one now. Oops.

Anyhow, here he is and I'm pretty sure my innocent smile has gone all goofy. Hardly the correct expression for a pureblood to have, but perfectly respectable for one who's madly in love with a certain silver haired hunter like I am. Never mind. If nothing else, my smile matches the T-shirt I have on.

Zero is... I sigh as he flashes me his special half smile. He's gorgeous. But more than that, he's caring and honest and not above giving me a smack upside the head whenever he thinks I'm too full of myself or when he doesn't agree with what I've said or done. I've no idea how many of those I've taken now. Too many to count. Not that I can't, being a pureblood and all, but I'd rather save my brain cells for more constructive things. Like how to keep my smile innocent and stop my fangs from showing themselves. One look at that damp silver hair sticking up all over the place, one sniff of that freshly washed neck and I'm putty. Red-eyed-and-sharpened-fangs putty. Damn.

"Hello, Kaname, what're you doing in the kitchen?" he asks. I walk over to him, forgetting – almost – about chicken parts, chocolate ice cream and missing peas. We kiss and I almost forget my own name. Zero tastes divine. He always does. He says I sometimes taste of tea or coffee or ice cream or his – well, that depends on what I've just done. But Zero always tastes of himself no matter what he's eaten or drunk. Which is good because I'd rather taste him than myself when we kiss.

He teases me about wearing one of his T-shirts when I have a whole slew of branded ones in my wardrobe, some still wrapped in plastic. I mouth his ear and murmur about how I have to make do with sliding inside my lover's clothes when he's not around for me to slide into. The ear I'm mouthing turns a beautiful shade of pink exactly two seconds later. I resist the urge to pierce the blood rich earlobe with a fang. Instead, I lick at the little silver skull dangling off of it and chuckle at the gasp that ensues. Zero melts in my arms and rightly so, but he never surrenders one hundred percent. And I'm glad.

Over my shoulder, he spies the open cookbook on the counter and pulls back a little. He's got good timing, I'll give him that – my right index finger is just half an inch shy of his left nipple. It's already puckered. I conceal my rising frustration as best I can. Well, it's not easy to press down something else that's rising fast, but I try my best. Not that Zero notices. He squirms out of my arms and gravitates towards that damned cookery book like it's the Grail or something. And no, I'm not pouting. I was the one who'd put that damned book there.

Take a deep breath, Kaname. Chicken pot pie experiment, remember? Right. Another deep breath and another innocent smile. Yes, I really feel like eating that pie. Do we have all the ingredients, Zero? I ask. He smiles when I bat my eyelashes shamelessly at him. Oh. He's smiling because I said 'we' when he and I and that smug cookbook know he'll be doing all the work. But not this time, Zero baby. I'm going to help you this time. He frowns when he sees how devious my smile has become. I think he's wondering why I haven't jumped him yet. I chuckle quietly to myself. Good things come to those who wait. And one can have one's hunter and eat pot pie too. Doesn't quite rhyme without 'cake' but I'm sure you know what I mean.

I walk up behind Zero and put a pleasantly interested look on my face. He's still wearing that charmingly wary frown on his face as he asks if I'm hungry. Oh yes, Zero. I am hungry. Very. But I just say yes, I'm waiting for my chicken pot pie. He laughs and nudges my shoulder with his as he walks past to go to the fridge. I turn around and admire his lithe figure and long legs. I love your cooking, Zero. And I love you.

He smiles when I say that aloud. Then he blushes and says the same thing back to me - the second sentence, not the first - before rummaging in the freezer. Hah. I was right. Chicken is needed in chicken pot pie and he took out the same bag I did! Well, it was the only pack of meat in there. Oh, I didn't know that other bag contained peas. I can't see through coloured plastic, you know. I'm a pureblood, not Superman. But I know something my dear Zero doesn't and that, of course, is the experiment I'm about to perform. I think I shall call it How To Ruin a Chicken Pot Pie.

In the best possible way, of course.

- Chapter End -