I'm sorry there's another addition to Chandelier. I truly am. Because if you've been reading the descriptions for each chapter, you'll know they are written for the unfortunate deaths of members of my school community who died too young. Death has struck again.

His name was Justin Carr. I regret I didn't talk that much with him this year, but I remember talking to him in middle school. I remember him being loud, boisterous, and ridiculously sassy and funny. I just saw him two days ago, talking to a friend, laughing over something, and I thought flippantly at the time that it was nice he was always laughing and smiling. The world needs more people like that. So it's really hard to fathom he's gone. Please rest in peace.

*bzzt*

Koko grumbled underneath his breath and rolled over onto his stomach. "Go away," he mumbled into his pillow.

*bzzt* *bzzt*

"Argh!" Koko groaned and sat up from his afternoon nap. He pushed his disheveled hair before fishing his phone out of his back pocket. "Whoever's interrupting my Friday nap better have something important to say, or I'll spill all their secrets on Monday," he grumbled underneath his breath.

Three text messages from Sumire. Wow, he felt like it was Christmas. Sumire usually didn't even acknowledge his existence, let alone give him the time of day. He grinned and unlocked his phone to read what she sent.

Koko, have you been on Facebook? Everyone's posting statuses saying 'Hotaru, RIP'. Is it true?

Koko, I'm scared. I don't know what's going on. Geez, you're the mind reader. Help me out here!

Is this really happening? After Mikan?

His heart sank. These messages were far from what he was expecting.

Koko almost slipped rushing to his computer. He shook the mouse violently to wake the monitor up and opened his internet browser as soon as the screen brightened. A couple of clicks, and there it was. His news feed on the most popular social networking site of all time, littered with statuses and pictures tagging the Hotaru Imai. All saying she was a great person, how she would be missed. All claiming she was dead.

This is a joke, right? A fucking joke? Because there's no way Hotaru can just be…dead.

There were over a hundred people online and rising, no doubt buzzing about the latest tragedy, but Koko was only looking for one. He typed Ruka Nogi in the search bar and impatiently shot him a message.

KY: Hey, dude. Sorry if this comes off as insensitive, but the hell with all the Facebook crap saying Imai's dead? This isn't real, right?

He tapped his feet nervously against his chair and bit his lip in anxiety. Until he heard from the boyfriend himself, Koko was not going to accept what was obviously the impossible.

A few agonizing minutes later, Koko got a response.

RN: I'm sorry, Koko. It's true. She's gone.

All the nerves in Koko's body seemed to just slacken. He lay limply across his chair, staring at the words glaring a hard black against the soft white of the screen.

KY: How? What happened?

RN: She was experimenting with chemicals again. Something went wrong and she couldn't breathe. I tried giving her CPR but it wasn't working and the ambulance arrived and I had to sit there in the waiting room and

RN: Fuck.

RN: I can't really talk right now, Koko. Sorry.

KY: I know.

He logged off and stood up slowly. He surveyed his room, colored a lazy orange by the sun setting just outside his window. It was cluttered with empty pizza boxes, candy wrappers, manga, and video games. Although dirty, it looked inhabited and ready for more good days of getting stomped on and battered by living feet.

But that wasn't the same for Hotaru's room, Koko realized as he returned to bed and flopped onto the blanket covers. Her room's white and black walls, so like her straightforward tendencies, were going to become discolored by the age of time, and all her prized possessions-photographs, awards, inventions-were going to gather dust and remain useless in the hands of no one. She wasn't going to come back.

His phone vibrated in his pocket once more, incessantly this time since someone was calling. He didn't even bother to check the caller ID as he brought it up to his ear and listlessly said, "What."

His lackluster greeting was responded with a barrage of chokes and sobs. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the pain twisting his stomach into knots. "Sumire, calm down. Breathe."

"I-I can't."

"Yes you can, Sumire. Breathe while I count to five, hold your breath for two, and then exhale for seven. Ready? One, two, three, four-"

He heard her breathing shakily, but surely, and continued the counting process until her sobs had receded to hiccups. "I'm sorry," he simply said, staring at the ceiling. "I'm sorry, Sumire."

"Why? It's not like you killed her or anything."

"I'm sorry we both have to go through this." He clenched the hand at his side until he could feel the skin stretching over his knuckles start to burn. "This is just fucked up. It was Mikan last year, and now we don't have Hotaru anymore. Fuck!"

"Do you think…do you think maybe Hotaru killed herself on purpose?"

"No!" His voice rang loud and clear across his flat. "Definitely not!"

"I was only asking because-"

"Yeah, I know. Mikan's death hit Hotaru the hardest. Of course it did, they were best friends and Hotaru loved Mikan more than anyone could even begin to fathom. But Hotaru was strong, Sumire. She knew how to 'keep calm and carry on', just like the old Brits. Whatever killed her was a complete accident. And Nogi was by her side. Do you really think Hotaru would have been heartless enough to let her boyfriend witness her death on purpose?"

He hated referring to her with past tense. He abhorred grammar more than ever.

"I'm just grabbing for straws here!" Koko could sense the bitterness of her voice before he heard it. "I don't understand why she's dead, why she's gone! I just saw her this morning, Koko, and she showed me one of those really rare smiles, the tiny but super pretty one. I was telling her she should smile more often so she didn't resemble an ice queen as much and she told me I should straighten my hair so I wouldn't look like a patch of seaweed and I just can't! I can't accept she's gone because of a stupid, silly accident! Why did she have to die?"

"I don't know." Koko heard Sumire begin to sob again, and even he couldn't suppress a strangled choke as he spoke his next words. "I don't think anyone knows."

It's going to be very hard to go to school on Monday. It'll be heartbreaking and painful to find out the exact circumstances of his death, to have to listen to more precious stories and memories about Justin. But in coming together and mourning as a family, I hope my school will carry on with the beauty of Justin living in our hearts forever.

Please pray for these kids. Remember their stories and please don't think life isn't worth living. There will be a better tomorrow. There will always be better tomorrows if you just look past all your worries and focus on the future rather than the problems plaguing you in the now. Think of Julia and Chris and now Justin and remember how short their lives were because of unfortunate circumstances, and please know you are lucky and blessed and have all the opportunities in the world at your fingertips. If you only just stay strong.

Love.