GaMzEe WaS tIeD wItH sOlLuX sO i WiLl Do HiS nExT. hOpE yOu EnJoY tHe MaNuAl :o)
I do not own Gamzee, Homestuck, ICP, or Faygo. But I do own MiRaClEs InC. and Astra Inc.
Congratulations, you have just purchased your very own GAMZEE MAKARA unit. This manual is here to help ensure that you do not screw something up and get killed by a killer juggalo.
Technical Specifications:
Name: Gamzee Makara, will also go by terminallyCapricious, TC, Bard of Rage, Stoned clown person, and Insane Clown.
Age: Can be ordered at any age between 12 and 17
Place of manufacture: Alternia
Height: 6"0"
Sign: Capricorn
Blood color: indigo
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GAMZEE MAKARA comes with:
Two (2) black shirts with indigo Capricorn symbols
Two (2) pairs of black pants with gray polka dots
Two (2) Rainbows courtesy of our partners MiRaClEs InC.
One (1) pair of purple converse
Three (3) Cakes of white make-up
Three (3) Faygo bush seeds
One (1) Sopor fountain, courtesy of MiRaClEs InC.
One (1) Club-Kind strife
One (1) Joker-Kind strife
One (1) I Hate ICP Shirt
A large pile of bicycle horns that we did not have the patience to count
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Programming:
Rapper: Your GAMZEE MAKARA unit loves to rap, and is pretty good at it.
Therapist: Your GAMZEE MAKARA unit is always there for his friends, when he isn't sober, and has a calming attitude. Just get him a job as a therapist and he will start raking in the cash.
Circus Freak: Your unit is a clown at heart and can juggle, but don't try to put him on a unicycle, and will love to be in a circus.
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Re-Programming:
Default Stoned
Default Happy
Miracles
Locked! Sober/Insane/Oh beep!/Artistic
Your unit comes in default Stoned and Happy modes. Stoned mode means that your unit is happy eating his sopor pies and Faygo and won't go on mass killing sprees. Happy mode goes with that and means he will be his happy calm self.
Miracles mode is activated by pretty colors or, actually, pretty much anything. Mainly rainbows. This mode entails that he goes on about the miracles of life.
Do not, and we mean do not, take away GAMZEE's slime and Faygo, or show him ICP. That will turn him into SOBER!GAMZEE and he will kill you. GAMZEE is also very artistic in this mode, painting pictures on the walls with blood. The reason we have so many names for this mode is to make sure you know you are screwed if you unlock this. There are two ways to get him out of this mode, get a KARKAT VANTAS unit to pacify him, or you can risk your neck and try to kill him. We at ASTRA Inc. are not liable for any damage caused to you or anything else do to your unit going sober.
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Relationships:
KARKAT VANTAS: Your units best friend and moirail. KARKAT may say that he hates your unit but we all know he cares about him. KARKAT VANTAS is the only unit that can get GAMZEE out of Sober mode.
TAVROS NITRAM: Your unit and TAVROS make the worst rapping duo in the entire paradox space. Your unit might have red feelings for TAVROS but we aren't sure if they are actual red feelings or just him being high.
DAVE STRIDER: Your unit and DAVE might be compatible for Kismesisses as GAMZEE strongly dislikes DAVE.
INSANE CLOWN POSSE: Your unit hates them and thinks they go against his religion.
LIL CAL: Your units best friend post flip-out.
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Cleaning: Your unit is capable of cleaning himself and will let you bathe with him.
Feeding: Do not eat any pies offered by GAMZEE, they are filled with sopor slime and will make you high.
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Troubleshooting:
Problem: You found clown faces on your walls and your unit is nowhere to be seen, there's also a honking sound.
Answer: GET THE HELL OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW! And beware the honking. If you hear the honking then it's too late, he's found you.
Problem: Your unit won't stop cussing.
Answer: That's normal.
We at Astra Inc. hope you enjoy your clown unit. GAMZEE MAKARA has a lifelong warranty. Have fun and we hope you don't die.
WhOoP, sO vErY hApPy I fInIsHeD tHiS, aNd In CeLeBrAtIoN i FeEl LiKe WrItInG lIkE tHiS...dOnT jUdGe Me
if you can't vote then put what character you want next in the reviews. Sollux is next though