This is a slighty-AU take on post 2x13. It's assumed that she didn't see him again that night after he walked out of the farmhouse (As in, he didn't approach her in his truck and ask her to "be normal together"). This story will be very focused on Andy's feelings, not Sam's. It's angsty for the first little while, but I do hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any characters.

For the hundredth time in the past three weeks, Andy flipped open her cell phone and dialed his number and for the hundredth time, she reached his voicemail. Leaving a message was completely pointless; she had figured that out after leaving multiple ones for weeks and receiving zero response. This time was different though, as the automated voice instructed her that his voicemail box was now full. She sighed and threw her phone to the other end of the couch, watching as it slid through the cushions. She sluggishly laid her head back on the arm of the couch and turned to watch another episode of whatever show was repeating itself on TLC.

As usual, she lost focus and her mind began to wander back to Sam. She hadn't seen him or even heard his voice, except for that frustrating 'leave a message' voice clip on his phone, since he walked out of the farm house three weeks before. It was the longest she had ever been away from him since the day they met. She missed him like crazy.

She thought back to the day at the farm house three weeks before. She had never experienced such an overwhelming sense of relief and comfort when she saw him walk out the front door. She felt his eyes staring only at her and her heart began racing as he stepped down the stairs and he stopped to look at her.

When he paused, she quickly felt her sense of relief turn into a sense of confusion and fear. He was bloody, breathless and obviously in pain. Throughout her two years working with him, she had never seen him look so vulnerable. His face was a mix of panic, terror and exhaustion. She wanted so badly to reach out and touch him to make sure he was truly there, but before she had the chance, he walked past her swiftly and didn't look back.

Andy left the precinct later that night after receiving her suspension notice and walked home slowly, giving herself some time to deeply analyze everything that had happened. In the notice, she was given very specific rules to not be in contact with him. She absolutely took Frank's words seriously; her job depended on it, but she seriously doubted her capability for staying away from Sam for any length of time. She had him to herself for an amazing few days and now, she was never letting him go.

For a day, she was able to diligently follow the rules by keeping herself busy and pretending to be interested in daytime television. As much as she wanted to, she did not attempt to call him. She tried to convince herself that it was for his sake as she was told he was suspended along with her. Calling him would be a breach of their suspension and he definitely did not need any more hardship in his life.

By the middle of the second day, she couldn't hold off any longer and quickly pressed the number two; his spot on her speed dial. It rang and rang until it finally reached his voicemail. She frantically babbled into the speaker, telling him how much she missed him and wanted to see him until she was cut off by the beep.

"Sam! Hey, it's me. Umm, I hope you're feeling a bit better! You should be resting, and I can almost guarantee that you're not right now," she giggled hesitantly, clearing her throat to switch to a serious tone. "Look, I'm so unbelievably sorry about… everything. I can't even believe how stupid I was to go back to that bar and then back to your place and then again and… Basically I can add to my list of 'Andy McNally's screw-ups' for the year and we both know how long that list could get. But uh, I think you should know that what happened with us is not on that list. I don't want you to think I regret it, because I don't…at all. I regret being such an idiot and almost getting you killed, obviously, but honestly I was happier when I was with you than I have been in a really long time. I don't know where we are right now… but I do know that I miss you. I know we not supposed to see each other but I don't think I can last three weeks. Can you just call me back and we'll…"

He never returned her call, or acknowledged the multiple times she attempted to call him in the days after.

In the beginning, she was in denial. Andy made up every excuse possible for why he wouldn't be answering her calls day after day. She assumed he must have been busy getting his life back in order after being undercover. It was possible that he was spending time sleeping away his pain from the torturous day with Brennan or maybe he had left the city for a break for a few weeks. After everything they had been through together, she knew there was no possible way that he could have been avoiding her calls.

It wasn't long until denial turned into irritation. She showed up at his apartment half way through her suspension and pounded on his door until her hand felt like it was breaking. She yelled through the door for him to answer using derogatory terms that she hadn't used since high school. She didn't care if he was angry at her; she would apologize to him over and over again if that's what he needed to hear. She knew he was home and ignoring her and she decided early on that she wasn't leaving until he opened the door. An hour later, she slowly walked away from his house with clenched fists, blinking back the tears she refused to let fall.

Eventually, the anger turned into sadness. Andy had herself convinced that he blamed her for everything that happened. He had been tortured by a psychopath because of her own selfish needs. She resorted to calling Oliver after two and a half weeks of zero contact with Sam. He assured her Sam was alive, but he refused to tell her anything else. She practically begged him to give her something, but to no avail. He simply told her to give Sam some time to process everything and get his life back together. It was only at that point that she shed some tears, pleading with Oliver to tell her what was wrong with Sam and why he wouldn't talk to her. He didn't have the answers she was looking for but promised her she would be seeing him on their first day back on Wednesday.

Andy reached over and smacked her alarm clock to stop the irritating beeping noise. She yawned and did a full body stretch before rolling out of bed and heading for the shower. It was finally Wednesday, the first day back to work. She hated the suspension for many reasons but one of the main ones was that she had truly missed working. She loved her job and vowed not to be suspended again, if she could help it anyway.

That day was different though, because it was the first day she had ever been nervous to see Sam. Every other day of her career, he had been somewhat of a rock to her. She could always lean on him for support and advice and he would always tell it like it was, whether she wanted to hear it or not. She knew he would have supported her no matter what mistakes she made and he would have taken the blame for any and all of her faults. At least she hoped so.

After the three weeks she had experienced without hearing from him, the thought of seeing him was alarming. It caused a bundle of nerves to form in the pit of her stomach for most of the morning. She had no appetite and settled for a cup of coffee as her breakfast. It was one of those days that she was happy to walk to work. She desperately needed to clear her head and breathe some fresh air before seeing him.

She walked aimlessly into the station and headed through the hallways, stopping to say a quick hello to some of her colleagues who had welcomed her back. She was thrilled to see that the officers didn't seem to have any negativity towards her especially because they all knew what she had done during the undercover.

When she entered the locker room, she was elated to see Traci was already there and greeted her with a hug. If there was one person who could help her get through that day, it was Traci.

"Welcome back!" Traci exclaimed, hugging her tight.

"Thanks, Trace," Andy replied, anxiety creeping up into her voice. "I really am happy to be back."

Traci pulled back from their hug. She put her hands on Andy's shoulders and looked directly in her eyes. "It's gonna be fine, Andy. I promise. He probably had a lot going on in the past few weeks. Just relax, okay?"

Andy nodded and took a deep, calming breath as she tried to convince herself that Traci was right. "I hope so," she replied quietly. "I just have no idea what's going on with him. I don't know if he's mad at me or upset over what happened… It's incredibly frustrating."

"I know," Traci admitted softly, putting a calming hand on Andy's fidgeting ones. "I'm sure he's nervous about seeing you too."

"Ugh, I doubt that. We're talking about Sam here," Andy sighed. "He doesn't get nervous about stupid things like this."

Traci shook her head. Of course Andy hadn't seen Sam nervous; it was always when she was the one in trouble. "He does when it has something to do with you, trust me," she giggled. "Come on, hurry up and get dressed so we can get to parade on time."

Andy gave her a small smile before opening up her locker and grabbing her uniform to quickly get changed.

Andy sat in her usual seat in the parade room and spent a few minutes catching up with the other rookies. They had seen each other a few times during Andy's suspension, but certainly not as often as they did when they worked together. She glanced around the room a few times to check for Sam, but he still hadn't arrived. She kept her hands in her lap and massaged one of her palms with her thumb in an attempt to calm her nerves.

"Officers of fifteen, attention up front please," Frank bellowed, heading up to the front of the room.

She felt a nudge in her ribs and when she looked up, Traci quickly motioned for her to look to the back of the room. Andy spun her head around and watched as Sam settled against the back wall beside Noelle. Her heart beat suddenly fluttered a little and her breathing hastened. She couldn't help but feel emotional when she finally saw him; it was like a gigantic weight was lifted off of her shoulders. He looked a little dismayed and his eyes seemed glazed over and distant, but he was there and he was okay, something she had desperately wanted to see for the past three weeks.

Andy waited a few moments to see if he would glimpse over at her. It was something she could always count on. Ever since she had known him, he was there to meet her eyes when she glanced back. Whether it was during parade or at a call, it was like he knew when she was going to look to him for reassurance and he was always there to provide it.

That day, he avoided looking at her altogether. She scowled and turned to face the front of the room. She quickly looked over at Traci and raised her eyebrows in confusion. Traci shrugged and mouthed 'I don't know?' before turning back to pay attention to Frank.

At the end of parade, the room filed out and Andy jumped up to try to catch Sam. She quickly said goodbye to her friends but by the time she had the chance to scan through the crowd to find Sam; he had already left the room. Traci gave her a sympathetic look and a gentle shove before ordering her to find him and talk it out.

When Andy finally made her way out of the parade room, he was standing down the hallway, facing away from her and deep in conversation with Jerry. You can do this, she told herself, it's just Sam. She gathered up her courage, took a deep breath and confidently walked towards them. She caught Jerry's glance and gave him a pleading look, hoping he would understand her intentions. Not surprisingly, Sam and Jerry's conversation had ended by the time she reached the end of the hallway. She gave Jerry a small smile after he whispered 'good luck' in her ear when he walked by.

"Sam?" Andy said softly, reaching out to put her hand on his shoulder.

He spun around quickly and took a step back. "Officer McNally," he replied, distantly.

She was taken aback by his tone. She had never seen his face so expressionless before. She crossed her arms and stepped closer to him, bringing her into his personal space and asking him quietly. "How…? Where have you been?"

Sam cleared his throat and looked around her, not able to focus on one place. He opened his mouth to speak before closing it again. "I was suspended," he said blankly, refusing to meet her eyes.

She scowled in confusion. "Judging by my multiple phone calls and voicemails, I knew that Sam," she whispered matter-of-factly. "What's going on?"

"McNally, I need to get to work and so do you. Epstein is waiting for you," he told her impatiently, still not focusing on her eyes. "And I can't do this right now." He shrugged weakly and quickly walked past her to head to his desk.

She turned around to look at him. "Sam!" she called out, getting the attention of some of the officers passing by. She waited, but he didn't turn around to acknowledge her. She suddenly felt the knot of nervous tension rising up from her stomach. She headed for the parking lot to get some much needed fresh air and she begged herself not to cry.

He stayed that way for days. He avoided her at all costs which drove her nuts, but part of her was also thankful that she didn't have to see him all day. He would answer her if she spoke to him but he would never start a conversation and he very rarely looked her in the eye. It was uncomfortable, to say the least.

"Excuse me, Sir," Andy muttered, trying really hard not to lose her temper with him. He had barely looked at her for three days since their talk on the first day back and the irritation from that was beginning to affect her concentration.

He looked up at her questionably but said nothing.

"These are all papers you need to sign off on before they can be filed," she told him, holding up bunch of file folders. "Best wants them done as soon as possible."

"Yep," he responded unemotionally, taking them from her hand and turning back to focus on the papers in front of him.

She shook her head in astonishment and leaned in to him. "Is this it?" She asked calmly. "We're just done?"

He shrugged his shoulders coldly and didn't give her an answer.

"You are unbelievable, Sam," she said shakily, continuing to lean in so only he could hear her. "I'm so mad that I ever let myself care about you. I should've known I couldn't trust you."

When he frowned and lifted his head up to reply, she was already gone.

Needless to say, she was extremely grateful that she was patrolling with other officers for the week instead of staying at the station. He was frustrating her to no end and eventually, she gave up on her efforts to talk to him.

On the fifth day back to work, Andy decided she was going to stop worrying about Sam and move on. She didn't exactly have a choice, but she couldn't keep going the way she was. Things hadn't been solved with him in the slightest, but if he was moving on, she would try to also.

"It's like night and day, I swear," she told Chris while they patrolled that morning. "He doesn't even look in my general vicinity anymore. I don't know what happened," she huffed. "Well, okay, I know what happened, but I don't know why he's acting like this."

"Yeah, that's annoying," Chris agreed. "I don't know Andy, I think he's depressed or something. He doesn't even talk anymore. I offered to help him with some paperwork the other day and he just shook his head and went back to work. I can't think of one time that Swarek actually wanted to do his own work. He used to jump at an offer like that."

Andy rolled her eyes. "How mature of him. That's so stupid. He's probably mad at me and he's taking it out on everyone else. I just wish he would man up and talk to me about… anything," she sighed hopelessly. "I said some stuff to him the other day that was pretty harsh, and I knew it would bother him, and still, no response. He didn't even fight back. He's just pushing himself further and further away from me and into a deep hole of seclusion."

Chris glanced over at Andy and quickly noticed how upset she was getting. "You know what? Screw fixing it. You're going to stop worrying about it, you got it? He's going to miss out and regret it for the rest of his life, but that's his problem. You shouldn't spend one more minute wondering about what's going through his thick skull. He's being an asshole to you and it's not fair."

She smiled at him gratefully. "You know what? You're right. Thanks, Chris." She picked up her phone and dialed a number.

"Who are you calling?" he asked suspiciously.

She glanced over at him quickly before the call picked up. "Hey Trace, how's it going? That's good. Listen, uh, do you want to go to the Penny tonight? I heard there's a good band playing...Yeah, we're celebrating the fact that I don't care what Sam Swarek does anymore," she smiled. "Awesome, see you later!"

"You in?" she asked Chris, who immediately smirked and gave her a nod. "Good."

If you didn't like it, that's okay. I'm not expecting a highly positive response, but please stick around and wait to see what's to come. You just might forgive Sam at some point.