"Why are you giving me a giant stick with a naked woman on it?" I stare blankly at the very detailed, very busty carved figure at the end of the long pole that my mother held out to me.

"It was your father's dear, don't you remember?" My mother asked as she tried to push the long wooden staff into my hands. This makes me really wonder about this woman's gift giving abilities.

"Mother, I've told you, Maddie doesn't have any memories of father or any of us," Carver huffed and rolled his eyes. He was becoming as frustrated with this woman as I was.

It seemed like from the moment Anders had brought me home from my drunken stupor, she had been shoving some old family, something or other into my face to try and 'jog' my memory. Anders had agreed to stick around while I cleaned up and got ready for my training, but my 'mother' had other plans.

"Don't be silly Carver, she just needs to see and be around things that are familiar. She couldn't have forgotten everything," she scolded Carver and continued to hold out the stick to me.

"Uh, why do I want this?" I questioned as I'm really not sure if I want the naked woman on a stick, and I don't think I want to know why it was my fathers.

"It's not a stick Hawke, it's a stave, it's a mage weapon. You'll need one to help channel your magic." Anders said looking thoroughly amused as he sat in a chair by my bedroom door with Mutt snoring softly at his feet. I would have thought the sight an adorable thing if this wasn't so incredibly uncomfortable.

"If I need it why does it have to be this one?" I really, really don't want to take the naked boobie stick that belonged to my father.

"Because yours was broken beyond repair when you... fell." Anders smiled weakly and I felt my stomach bottom out. That really must have been some fall. Out of morbid curiosity part of me wants to see where it happened yet another part of me not so much.

"Can't I just buy a new one?" I say trying not to stare at the very large boobs that stared back at me.

"Hawke there's nothing wrong with that staff. In fact it's better than any other you'll find for-sale in Lowtown for what you could afford," Anders said as he stood from the chair and stepping carefully over Mutt to stand beside me. "It shouldn't matter what's carved into it. Just take it then we can go and start your training," he murmured.

"Who the hell comes up with the names in the city anyway? Lowtown, Hightown, Darktown really? couldn't they think up something original like. Slumville, Snotnosed Noble street, and Reallydownonmyluck Road." Carver snorted but Anders just rolled his eyes unfazed by my very deliberate witty change of subject.

"Just take the staff Hawke, we need to go. We've wasted most of the day as it is."

"Alright, alright geez, don't get your panties in a bunch," I grumbled.

"Margaret, Leandra, Hawke! You do not speak to people like that. Especially those who care about you, and who are only trying to help you. It is rude and I raised you better than that," my mother snapped at me like I'm a five year old who just let loose a string of curse words. Carver yet again burst out into a fit of laughter, and even Anders was trying very hard not to laugh. All I could do is stare gaping with my mouth open. Well at least I know what my full name is now. She shoves the staff into my hand scowling at me, and I gingerly take it from her. I'm half expecting her to bash me over the head with it, but she just smiles at me like I've done the greatest thing in the world.

"Thanks Mom," I murmur and she grabbed me hugging me tightly. Holy mood swings.

"You're welcome darling, do take good care of it. There is so little of your father left, and he loved that staff he made it himself."

I dare to look closer at the naked lady. The very busty yet strikingly well carved woman. My father had talent, but I also take note of the detailed arched half ring that enclosed around the figure that looked almost like a pitchfork to be honest, with the end curving into two very sharp points, maybe I'll just start stabbing people who piss me off. The thought makes me smirk, and I start to wonder if boobie lady is dety of some sort. It would make carrying it a lot less creepy if it was, it's not as bad as I first thought it was really.

"Is this suppose to be some religious figure?" I asked Carver thoughtfully.

Carver snickered, "No, that's supposed to be Mother."

"Ah!" I squeak and the staff clattered loudly to the ground, and Carver starts laughing again. I'm glad he finds my distress so funny, and even Anders is chuckling, my mother looks horrified. The dog just stares up at me like I have something for him to eat. I can't help but wonder when did I become the butt of everyone's jokes.

"Not funny." I glare down at the staff as it taunts me. I know its not but it sure as hell feels like it.

"It's not going to jump up and bite you Hawke. It really doesn't matter what's carved into it." I glare at Anders, he's making me seem like I'm being childish about this whole thing, but I really don't think that I am.

"Would you say the same if your stick had your naked mother on top of it?" I grumble and this stopped his laughing at me, and I watched as he turned bright scarlet, not saying a word in response. Ah-ha, see I'm not being completely unreasonable.

Yet, I know he's right, I need to be an adult about this. I sigh picking up the staff, I was just starting to come to terms with naked lady, and now I have to try very hard to pretend that is not my mother in all her naked glory. As I look over at her and she's smiling so brightly at me I can't help but feel so guilty about the whole ordeal. I force a smile back at her then stand kind of awkwardly, as everyone just kind of stares at me for a moment. The silence is deafening. What am I supposed to do now break out in song and dance?

"We should go," I said looking at Anders pleadingly to get me away from this very uncomfortable moment.

"I'm coming with you," Carver said crossing his arms at his chest, he looks at me like he's just waiting for me to argue.

"You don't have too..."

"Yes I do, last time you left the city with him," he motioned to Anders with a slight of his head, "you came back half dead and mindless."

"I'm not mindless," I scoff. Do I really come off as stupid to these people?

"You know what I mean Maddie, I'm not risking it."

Anders looks very pissed off and I can't say that I blame him, it's not his fault that I fell it's not like he pushed me. At least I hope he didn't, but I do see Carvers point as well.

"Your Brother is right dear, you've been through so much the last few days, he should go with you."

How wonderful that everyone seems to have this sudden great concern for me. Again. I stare at Anders looking for some hint as to what I should say. His expression softened and he nods at me.

"Alright..." I mudder, "But no more making fun of me. I mean it Carver." I can tell he's trying not to laugh now. I roll my eyes at him and head for the door, pulling it open.

Fenris stood on the other side of the door. I scream. Well it was more like a screech and my staff clatters to the ground. Again. I hear Carver behind me laughing. Again. Fenris just stood there his expression changed from surprised to... well pissed off, as he stared first at me then down to the ground at my newly aquired naked lady stick.

"There you go being all Ninja again," I gasp quickly picking up the staff and trying to hide it behind my back. Trying not to look like an idiot and failing.

"So you've said," Fenris spoke with a sarcastic tone. "I figured the Abomination would try and take you out of the city to train you. I... do not feel you should go without some sort of back-up." This took me a bit by surprise. Although Fenris may have looked upset, his eyes gave him away. I could tell he's worried. I'm getting better at reading his expressions, but now I really felt bad for leaving him before when I was drunk. The fuzzy memory still fresh in my mind, my head was still slightly swimming from the after effect of the wine. At least he's stopped thinking I'm a demon. I hope.

Carefully I look from at each of these men who seem to think I need protecting from myself, and I realized that they really do care what happens to me. I need to stop thinking of these people as my keepers, and more like hunky, adorable brooding bodyguards that keep me from doing stupid things. Like get drunk and vomit all over people's feet, and set fire to things or something. It better than the alternative alone in a strange place, that thought is down right scary.

"Fine, lets go then," I sigh and gently push past Fenris, feeling slightly claustrophobic in that small house with all those people crammed in there.

I keep walking down the street not knowing where the hell I'm going, but I can hear their foot falls close behind me. I can't help but smile and think that this Hawke woman, whoever she was, or is, has no clue how lucky she was to have such people as these in her life. I may not know them well, yet but from what I can see she's really lost out on an amazing group of people and family. She has taken full advantage of and treated them all so poorly. Yet they they would follow her to hell and back.

I wonder if they even have hell here? Or heaven for that matter. More questions always with the questions, they are going to be so sick of me. Reality of this is that I have no choice or say in this, I'm here for better or worse and at least I'm not alone. So why not make the most of it. right? So I will do just that. I will make the most of this and I'm sure as hell not going to let my family and friends live in a shit hole for the rest of their lives. So for now I'm going to learn magic, as instantly stupid as it sounds. I can call myself Merlin or Gandalf but much better looking and not old. Wait, I don't even know how I look, oh lord, I will need to fix that somehow...maybe I'm some ugly twisted freak.

"Hawke?" Anders spoke softly as he began to walk beside me. "Where are you going?"

"I, uh..."

"That's what I thought," he chuckled. "Follow me, I know a safe place where we shouldn't have any Templars bothering us," he grinned at me and at that point, I think if he said 'Hey lets go skinny dipping in a pond of crocodiles,' I would do it gladly and it with a smile on my face. That man has some strange affect on me. So I follow him to god knows where to do magic. I am still having a hard time with that, but at least I'm doing it with a smile on my face.

A/N: I know this is a shortish chapter but I thought the ending was the best spot for now. Things have seemed to died off a lot as of late, I'm not sure if everyone has lost interest in this story because of the slow updates. I am sorry for that, life tends to be pretty crazy and it's hard to write as much as I would like too, or if its summer or what. I will try and keep up a regular update for those who still follow this. Also this chapter is also un betaed, so please don't mind the errors I have missed.

I would still love to hear everyone's thoughts on the story so far, I love writing it and I really have some surprises coming up for this in the near future. Reviews help a lot, it's nice to hear from those who still read. I love you all and thank you so much for your support.