Chapter 1

May 30

I, Liz Parker, am a horrible person. It has been weeks since I broke Max's heart (and mine in the process), but it is still fresh and painful. The look on his face when he saw me with Kyle, the pain that radiated off every fiber of him is seared into my brain. I see it when I think of him (which is often); I dream about it and I feel the pain from him whenever he is near. It was all because Future Max asked…it was to save the world. I keep trying to remind myself of that. Why the love I feel for Max would doom this planet I will never know and understand. Maybe its penance for the life I wasn't supposed to live. I should have died that day in the Crashdown when Max risked everything to save me. Maybe my punishment for cheating death is to know what pure love is but not have it for myself. A hell on earth just for me.

Liz stopped writing and sat up from the lounge chair on her balcony, looking up at the stars. She used to love looking up, grateful that one of those stars was Antar and it had sent Max to Earth for her. Now the stars just seemed to mock her. A constant reminder that, as a human, she was not good enough to have what should have been the love of her life.

Liz had left the window open to her room and heard the door. She turned her head as a friendly blonde head poked through the window.

"What's up Chica?" she heard Maria ask.

Liz forgot Maria was coming up after her shift at the Crashdown for a girl's night. Maria and Michael were fighting again. Between that and her gloominess over Max, it seemed like the right time to distract themselves with ice cream and chick flicks.

"Nothing, Maria, just wishing on a star" Liz said with a half smile.

"Are you wishing on any star in particular?" Maria jokingly asked.

Maria instantly regretted the joke as she saw Liz's eyes fill with tears. Maria scrambled out the window, nearly toppling head first onto the balcony in her rush to grab Liz in a big hug.

"Too soon, huh?" Maria asked sitting next to Liz and wrapping her arms around her. Liz half heartedly laughed nodding her head.

"Are you sure there isn't a way to be with Max and avoid the end of the world?" Maria asked hopefully.

"Future Max was clear Maria. Our relationship makes Tess leave. You see how much Tess wants him. I don't think there is any scenario with us together that she wouldn't see it as an insult to her destiny and leave. As much as it hurts, I have to give them a chance," Liz said with sadness.

"I respect, your decision, but I still don't buy it. Michael and Isabel aren't together and never want to be and it doesn't seem to impact on anything," Maria stated.

"I held onto that hope for a while when I first heard the truth in the cave. Maybe because Max and Tess were King and Queen, it makes their being a unit more important to prevent whatever is coming. Somehow even on this world, even in this new life, their being together is a bridge to peace. I want to be with Max more than anything, but saving the world is much more important than my love life so the decision has to stand" Liz said standing up to show her resolution. Whether she was trying to show her resolve to herself or Maria, she wasn't sure.

"Wait, aren't we supposed to be drowning our sorrows in ice cream and commiserating over movies. That's a better way to be depressed than sitting out here" Liz said pulling Maria up by her hand and giving Maria a hug.

The two friends raced for Liz's window laughing as they went. It didn't take long to get the ice cream and movies going and the two friends snuggled under blankets on Liz's bed. Two hours and two tubs of Ben and Jerry's later, Liz and Maria were crying and yelling at the TV about how happy endings aren't real. They looked at each, seeing their tear stained faces, mascara leaving black streaks down each of their cheeks and burst out laughing.

"Are we jaded old ladies, already?" Maria said laughing.

Liz pointed at Maria, holding her stomach from laughing so hard, "Spinster" Liz sputtered through her giggles.

"Right back at you crazy cat lady" Maria said throwing a stuffed rabbit from Liz's bed at her and breaking into a new round of giggles picturing the two of them old and gray and doing this exact thing. The two friends laughed at the images of their jaded older selves trading jokes about what it would be like as old women. The laughter died down and a silence descended over them, each lost in their own thoughts.

"Do you think any of us will ever have a normal life? House, kids, career?" Maria asked breaking the silence.

Liz turned to face Maria. "I don't know. Normal seems like a pipe dream right now. I so desperately want normal for Max, Isabel and Michael. For Max, normal would be heaven for him. The pain he has experienced in the white room, the burden of being king and" Liz took a breath, "plus everything that I did to him."

"You only did it because he asked you" Maria interjected.

"But Max doesn't know that" Liz said looking down at her hands. "He has such a pure heart, if I could wish for anything it, it would be for him to live his life in peace and happiness and not be hunted by the FBI uncertain how to save a world he has never known."

Maria nodded solemnly. "Michael deserves normal too. I love him, his strength, his determination and he makes me feel whole. Don't get me wrong, the guy could use some communication lessons, but he deserves the chance to dream and find happiness."

Maria grabbed Liz, crying at how much she loved Michael. Both girls turned towards the bedroom door as they heard a creak in the hallway. Maria poked her head, arms crossed in front of her. "How much did you hear spaceboy?"

Michael froze mid-step, his back to Maria. "I didn't hear anything" Michael said. Turning to peak over his should, he mumbled, "I love you too."

Liz heard footsteps and moved to the door to see Maria crash into Michael with a huge hug. He lifted to chin her to place a gentle kiss on her lips. Liz looked at them smiling, happy that they made up but longing to have Max kiss her like that again.

"What are you doing here Michael," Maria asked eyes narrowing. "Its girl's night and I am supposed to be mad at you."

"Well if you are going to take that tone with me, maybe I won't tell you that I came here to say that I was sorry that I forget about our plans for dinner last night and I wanted to make it up to you" he said angrily turning away to head back down the hall.

Maria shot a glance at Liz and Liz mouthed "go after him" and Maria mouthed "thank you" back and raced to catch up, grabbing his hand asking "So how are you going to make it up to me?" Followed by the million question barrage that is typical Maria.

One relationship saved, Liz thought. Maybe that is one step toward normal.