I know I keep saying this, but I really shouldn't be starting another story when I already have so many I need to finish. But those damn muses! When they get a hold of me, they do not let go easily. So here it is, my first multi-chapter Star Trek story. Hope you like!

Tarsus-ish story, so sort of standard disclaimers for that, though I'm doing it differently than in the TV show, so sorry if that offends anyone.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, as much as I might wish otherwise.

Christopher Pike looked at the report in front of him and swore. Loudly. Luckily he was in his office, so there was no one around to frown at him or ask what was wrong.

He leaned back in his chair and absentmindedly rubbed his hip. Doctor McCoy had done an excellent job, but as one got older, ones ability to rebound from serious injury diminished greatly. And Pike was not a young man. He was able to walk, a testament to the doctor's skill, but he was constantly plagued by aches and pains that tended to assault different parts of his body at inopportune times, and mostly when he was dealing with stress in other parts of his life. Right now, for example, he was experiencing the sharp pain that he normally associated with being stabbed. In his hip. It really was annoying.

But Admiral Pike had other things on his mind, and this irritating sting would just have to take a back seat. He re-read the report, just to make sure he hadn't misunderstood it, and then sighed, reaching over to open a comm. to the Enterprise. It was only a matter of seconds before he was connected, and he forced himself to keep his face blank as he battled a brief bout of jealousy. For a brief time, that had been his bridge. If it hadn't been for a crazy Romulan, it would still be his.

But this resentment was almost four years old, and was useless. Wallowing in self-pity did little to help anyone.

"Admiral Pike, what can I do for you?" Jim interrupted his thoughts, bringing him back to the present.

He stared at the captain for a moment, assessing. The younger man looked calm and confident in the chair he had held for the last almost four years. Pike could see hints of both the boy he had been and the man he would become, was already becoming. There was a trace of steel in his steady gaze, and he thought he could see a small bit of worry, as the silence drew on and he had yet to say something.

He glanced around the bridge briefly, noting Spock sitting erect at his station, Uhura next to him monitoring the link, Chekov and Sulu at the helm, and for some reason, McCoy, leaning against the railing next to Jim, a scowl on his face that seemed a touch deeper than normal, indicating that he had perhaps interrupted an argument of some sort. He was slightly proud of himself for coming up with that conclusion; it seemed his effort to get to know this crew over the last few years had really paid off. It didn't hurt that McCoy and Jim were practically joined at the hip, so whenever he and the young captain had managed to get together in person, the good doctor almost always tagged along. Not to mention that McCoy seemed to be hovering in the background in roughly eighty percent of the personal calls he made to Jim's quarters.

"Admiral?" Pike blinked and looked back at Jim. The worry was easy to read now, as the captain leaned forward slightly in his seat. "Is everything all right?"

Chris sighed softly and looked over Jim's shoulders. "Lieutenant Uhura, if you wouldn't mind patching this through to the captain's ready room?" Though it was phrased as a question, there was no doubt he expected it to be obeyed. His last view of the bridge showed confused faces all around, before Jim levered himself out of his chair. The next moment, the screen changed to an empty room.

XXX

"Do you think there's a problem?" Sulu asked, turning in his seat to watch his captain as the image of the admiral disappeared, replaced by stars once more.

Jim stopped walking and turned to face his crew. He was far more worried than he was willing to let on in front of them, so he made sure his face showed nothing but a relaxed calm. It was a façade he had put on often, and thus was quite familiar with every lie that was sown into it. "I'm sure everything is fine," he assured, answering the pilot's question but speaking to the room.

"Vat do you tink iss wrong?" Chekov chimed in, also facing the captain, accent as thick as ever.

Jim almost sighed. Almost. Instead, he forced a smile out, sure that every single one of them could tell it was fake, and replied, "I don't know, Chekov, but I will let you know as soon as I do."

"Jim…" McCoy trailed off, studying his friend carefully. He had seen the look Pike had given Jim. It was the same look he often found himself using, when he was sure the captain couldn't see him. Worried, assessing, searching for information… because Jim Kirk hid a lot of himself from the world. McCoy knew that, even as he knew that the truths the kid had shared with him didn't even cover half of the horrors he had seen in his short life. An emotionally absent mother and an abusive stepfather were definitely enough, he knew that, but he also knew his friend. And Jim had suffered far more than that, if the traits and habits he had observed and the multitude of scars and old injuries on the captain's body were anything to go by.

Jim turned his phony smile to the doctor, and knew that in doing that, he was making a fatal error. Because McCoy could always tell when he was lying. He frequently called him on his bullshit.

But right now, the doctor didn't say anything. He knew it was all fake, but he kept silent, and let his captain disappear into his ready room.

The room remained silent in his absence, all thoughts focused on the private conversation going on behind closed doors, and wondering just what was wrong.

XXX

Jim closed and locked the door behind him before turning to the screen. His fake smile dropped immediately, giving way to very real concern, as he saw the serious and slightly pained expression of the admiral before him.

"Chris?" he said lightly, sitting down at his desk, leaning back in his chair and resting his hands in his lap. "You're kind of making me nervous. Is there something wrong?"

Pike swallowed and looked down, fiddling with something out of reach. Finally, he looked back at the captain sitting in front of him, regarding him as if it was only a piece of furniture that separated them, rather than several galaxies. "I just sent you a file, Jim." His voice was soft, comforting, and also pained. He truly did not want to have to be the one to share this, but he knew he was probably one of the only ones who had ever put together the pieces. The records were sealed for everyone but the highest of security clearances. The number of people who had this information could probably be counted on one hand.

Jim looked at his PADD, waiting for the file to come through. "Is there something particular about this I need to know?" he asked, glancing back up.

Chris grimaced. Jim felt his stomach drop several inches. "A man was found on a remote planet two weeks ago. He goes by the name Anton Karidian, but he was determined to be a fugitive that has eluded capture for over fifteen years now."

Jim nodded absentmindedly as his PADD pinged, notifying him of the arrival of the report. Pike's eyes filled with sympathy as he watched his protégé open the file, knowing that the first thing he would see was a picture of a nightmare come back to haunt him.

The captain furrowed his brow, confused as he listened to the admiral's explanation – though at this moment, it felt more like a lack of one – but he was more focused on the report in front of him. The file opened, and Jim's face went from its normal complexion to ashen in a matter of milliseconds, as the PADD clattered to the floor.

A short little intro, but we'll get more into it as things move along. Let me know what you think, any suggestions, I do listen to them, and oftentimes things I read in reviews influence future chapters! As for pairings… right now I'm planning a gen fic, though I'm not ruling out any pairs. If there's one in particular you want to see, drop me a review and let me know! No guarantees, but everything's pretty open right now.

In conclusion… please review! I love them, they totally make my day, and they convince me to keep going even when the muses abandon me (as we all know muses do… and far more often than any of us would like)