Rating: R for language and adult themes (sex)

Disclaimers: I do not own Inception or How I Met Your Mother

Author's Greeting: Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed. :)

Chapter 6: Two Out Of Three Times, Guaranteed

Arthur awakens the next day to the bright light of late morning and a completely naked Ariadne standing by the doorway, holding a plate of cookies and a mug of coffee.

"Good morning. It's good to see you up. In more ways than one." She sets the plate and mug down on the night table next to him and cheekily picks up a cookie. She smirks at him while she takes a bite.

Arthur takes a quick glance at the little tent a certain part of his anatomy has created with the bed sheet. Smiling, he reaches out and pulls Ariadne to him, who falls into him in a shower of laughter and cookie crumbs.

"I guess I do owe Eames an apology," he smiles as he removes the cookie from her hand and proceeds to render her senseless.

By the time the two lovers make it into the workshop, it's nearly noon.

"We're sorry we're late, but it couldn't be helped!" Ariadne announces loudly as she and Arthur enter the building. "Hello? Is anyone here?"

To their surprise they encounter an empty workshop.

"Where is everybody?" she wonders out loud.

Arthur checks his notebook. "I don't know. There isn't anything planned on the agenda today. Everyone should be here."

"It's so quiet and empty in here," Ariadne remarks, taking a look around. And then a mischievous smile appears on her face. "Speaking of a quiet and empty workshop," she grabs Arthur's arm, "let's do it on Yusuf's workbench."

"Ariadne, we shouldn't." Though his words are a protest, he allows himself to be dragged, rather easily, to Yusuf's workspace.

"C'mon. Besides, I kind of promised Cobb we wouldn't do it on his desk. At least not today."

"Good morning! I'm sorry I'm late! What are you guys doing at my station?"

Yusuf enters the workshop with a spring in his step but stops as he curiously eyes the two who break apart from their kiss.

"Uh, we were…looking for you! We just got here ourselves."

"Yeah, uh, where's Cobb and Eames?"

"Beats me." Yusuf shrugs. "I wish I had known everyone was coming in late today. I would have grabbed a cup of coffee before I got here."

"Why are you running late?" Ariadne asks, before gasping. "Is it because your date with Laila went well last night?"

Yusuf smiles as he fiddles with the workshop coffeemaker. "Yeah. It went really well."

An excited little noise escapes Ariadne as she claps her hands. "Well, tell us all about it! I want to know all about the girl who's going to be part of the couple we're going to double date with!"

"Double date? Oh, no, that's going to happen. Laila and I aren't seeing each other again."

"But I thought you said the date went really well."

"It did. But it turns out she hates cats. That's a deal breaker for me!" Yusuf clarifies when Ariadne and Arthur both stare at him blankly.

"Okay. So was it an amicable break-up that saved the date?" Arthur asks, confused by Yusuf's cheerful whistling.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. Once I realized we had no future together I decided to try The Naked Man. It totally worked! And then, after a night of some really good sex, we both agreed we had a good time and then we went our separate ways."

"Wow, good for you, I think," Ariadne contributes, uncertainly.

"Yeah, I know, right?" Yusuf looks more than pleased with himself as he turns to Arthur. "And listen, before you start telling me how stupid The Naked man is, and what a rotten human being I am, and how I don't have any integrity—

"I'm not going to say that Yusuf. You're none of those things. And, for the record, I don't think The Naked Man is stupid; at least, not anymore."

"Oh yeah, what changed your mind?"

"The Naked Woman," Ariadne answers, beaming from ear to ear.

That elicits a laugh and a high five from Yusuf. "Way to go! The Naked Woman. That's got to work every time. Did you strike a pose when you did it?"

"A pose?"

"Yeah. Like, I did the, 'Aren't I impressive down there?' pose." Yusuf demonstrates by widening his stance, placing his hands on his hips, and smirking confidently. "It looks much better when I'm naked."

"We believe you Yusuf. No need for further demonstration," Arthur says to stop any further display.

"So what did you do?"

"Well, I offered Arthur cookies."

"I bet you did." Yusuf's eyes zoom in on her chest.

"Yusuf, I'm beginning to change my mind about what a rotten human being you are," Arthur threatens.

Yusuf holds up his hands in surrender and returns to his coffee making. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stared. Take it easy, it's not like I was going to have sex on my coworker's workbench, or anything like that." He raises a knowing eyebrow at the couple's direction. "You guys need to work on being more believable in your excuses."

"Don't tell me they were at it again! The last thing I want to hear is that those two were doing it on my desk!"

This comes from an exasperated Cobb who has entered the workshop with Eames following right behind him and looking a little worse for wear.

"Where have you two been?"

"Well, I was at home in bed sleeping soundly until I got a phone call from Mr. Bright Idea here," Cobb points to Eames, "…who, surprise, surprise, needed me to bail his ass out of jail."

"What happened?" It's Ariadne who asks, but based on her amusement while asking, she's already guessed.

"Turns out my date was as uptight as your boyfriend and did not appreciate seeing me in all my naked glory, lounging on her couch. She then starts screaming bloody murder and her neighbor, who just so happens to be a policeman, comes over and detains me on the spot. I get charged with a lewd act, spend the night in jail, and then spend all morning calling my friends—none of whom picked up—to come get me. Except for Cobb, did you all have your mobiles off?"

"We probably did. It's only common courtesy when you're engaged in a successful attempt of The Naked Man. It kind of kills the mood when the phone rings in the middle of it, don't you think?"

"What? You bloody bastard! You did it? It worked? With Laila?" Forgetting his own ordeal, Eames walks over and congratulates Yusuf.

"Yes, thank you, I acknowledge that my Naked Man is more impressive than yours," Yusuf laughs. "But I'm not the only one you should congratulate. It worked for these two as well."

Eames stands mouth agape as he turns towards Arthur and Ariadne. "Well, well." He walks over to gloat in Arthur's face. "So who's stupid now?"

"Yeah, I'm the stupid one because I was having sex while you were getting arrested for lewd behavior," Arthur replies sarcastically.

"Be that as it may, who was right about The Naked Man? Me!" Eames crows. "My genius deserves to be celebrated properly! To the bar!"

"It's barely noon! And we have work to do!" Cobb, ever the voice of reason, steps in.

Eames walks over and places his arm around him. "Dear Cobb. Do you not understand what has just happened here? The Naked Man is bigger than all of us. By the sum of our parts, we are all just men. But what we do with those parts—

"Can get you arrested." Cobb shrugs off Eames' arm. "Let's get to work."

The teams disperses except for Arthur and Eames.

"For what it's worth, I'll admit you were right," Arthur offers with a smug smile which Eames is immediately suspicious of. "The Naked Man does work most of the time. Two out of three times, guaranteed."