This is the final chapter of But I Thought They Hated Each Other. As predicted, it was over 10,000 words. Thank you to everybody who has read or reviewed the story. In addition, thank you to everyone who has put the story on alert or has added it to your favorites. Also, thank you to everybody who voted on the order of the chapters. It was definitely a very interesting challenge not knowing what I was going to be doing next and yet keep the story cohesive.
Thank you to everyone who has worked as a beta on this story, including Teddy Bear, for this chapter.
The purpose of the first story was for other people to learn who Jim Kirk really is beyond the bravado and assumptions. This story was about Jim and Spock learning about the people that they call friends and family. It was also an exploration of what those terms really mean.
I was originally planning to do a third installment all about Spock and Jim and Spock becoming parents. I may still do it if there's interest but I'm not sure if I want to go back to my stories based off the first movie after the second movie is out. (Though, if the scene of Spock and Nyota making out in the trailer is any indication, I may want to. I almost tossed something at the computer screen the first time I saw it.)
I have instituted a five story limit for how many different projects I can do simultaneously to avoid a situation where I'm doing too many projects at the same time and therefore not really updating anything. So a sequel to the story is not in the cards until at least June (Estimated end date for Starfleet Family Values) if anybody wants to read it. Therefore, I need you to convince me to do the third story.
Interview Number 22631017A and 22631019A: The Barnett family.
Jim Kirk was pissed and he had a headache. He was also covered in bruises and not the fun 'I just had very rough consensual sex for hours' bruises. These were 'I just barely escaped getting killed by a sociopathic former Starfleet Admiral's secret goons' bruises. His neck was the worst. Why did everybody enjoy strangling him so much?
The doctor that took over for Bones wasn't really a Doctor. She was basically some secret science experiment funded by K's cronies and money funneled from Starfleet's already too tight budget to create the perfect soldier; super strong with a blank mind that can be programmed to be anything needed from a doctor to a spy posing as an engineer who was sleeping her way through the ship. More importantly, they were programmed to be loyal to K not Starfleet. From the dossier that he read after he was no longer endangered of getting murdered again, it was called Project Doll Soldier because apparently somebody watched too much 21st-century science fiction. Jim suspected that Ensign Cook was one of these considering her existence has been wiped out from the Starfleet database, that fact was later confirmed. Actually, Jim wondered if Captain Cook (no relation) was one of these doll soldiers or whatever the hell they were called. At least, that would explain the guy's stupidity.
Doctor Key was another one of these sleeper soldiers, who unbeknownst to Chris, managed to get herself on the rotation for Jim and Spock watch. Bones refusing to leave his BFF put a serious damper on her plans to kill him and Spock as soon as possible. His little 'gift' to Spock managed to give her time to take over. Thankfully, she only drugged Bones instead of outright killing him. Apparently, K wanted to keep all his friends alive so they could live through the misery of watching him die and being unable to prevent it. K was a sick son of a bitch that way.
He and Spock found Bones, relatively unharmed, tied up in a supply closet next to the control room. The security staff wasn't so lucky. They found several dead as they left the area.
Because Key didn't want to have to deal with getting her ass kicked by Spock, she placed various drugs in their breakfast. Unfortunately, for her, she chose to drug the hazelnut spread. Spock doesn't like to have chocolate in the morning and just a week before this mess began Jim discovered that he was allergic to hazelnuts. Thank God Bones forgot to add that new allergy to his file. When they started to become suspicious about Ensign Cook she didn't have time to try drugging Spock and him a second time. That was when the lights went off and the phasers came out.
Unfortunately, nobody programmed the super soldier to know that despite being three times as strong as a normal human being and being programmed to know 35 different types of combat, you should probably not engage in direct combat with a Vulcan who is still significantly stronger than you and can outthink you at every turn because he can actually think. Also, you really don't want to anger said Vulcan by trying to kill his bond mate. That's just asking to get your ass nerved pinched.
So Dr. Key walked into the room guns blazing, this managed to make Spock very cranky and resulted in him getting the phaser out of her hand in about three seconds. She wasn't aware of this because she was already unconscious by that point. Unfortunately, they were ambushed by a few more of K's secret Army. Most of the sleepers were in security. They were already at the undisclosed location because Pike decided to put Jim in quarantine at the Starfleet facility near Risa where they were supposed to have their second honeymoon. He felt nobody would think that they would hide Jim and Spock on a vacation planet.
Of course, Pike did not count on K's general paranoia. Apparently, K wasn't 100% sure that his first assassination attempt would work so getting him killed on vacation and most likely blaming the local inhabitants to start his all-out war was plan B. Getting Jim killed in quarantine and blaming it on a Starfleet insurrection was plan C. Again, nobody was that surprised because K really was that type of son of a bitch.
At this point, he had a weapon and his husband was ready for blood. Again, never ever tried to kill a Vulcan's bond mate, it will get you killed. Because they were on a Starbase, backup eventually did arrive. They realized that the medical wing was under siege when one of the security staff members did not check in at his normal time. The whole thing was a bloody mess.
Because the Starbase was compromised and nobody knew how many sleeper soldiers K had, they were moved to another undisclosed location on planet. Though, this one has room service and comfy beds with a view of one of the planet's oceans. They were briefed on Project Doll Soldier before they even left the Starbase. K used his contacts to secure several billion credits for the type of research that was made illegal after the Eugenic wars. It's amazing what type of budget request one can sneak through after a catastrophe, especially when you blatantly lie about what the money is for.
His biologist brother was one of the lead researchers on the project. His mother actually showing up to the undisclosed Starfleet detention facility resulted in Sam spilling everything. She was better than an entire team of trained interrogators.
The top-secret dossier made very interesting reading for the trip to the very isolated beach house and he means that as sarcastically as possible. He personally did not want to go into hiding again but apparently the thing about him being on medical leave wasn't just made up to put him and Spock in protective custody without their consent. It still wasn't 100% safe for the two to be in the general population. Considering he felt like crap after the type of fight that he used to get into at least twice a week pre-Starfleet, even Jim will acknowledge that he wasn't exactly in the best condition to deal with brainwashed super soldiers or anything else. Also as he stated earlier, he had a nasty headache and his neck was sore. One of the doll soldiers did manage to hit him upside the head before Spock incapacitated him.
So when he saw the bed with silk sheets he had no desire to protest. He was out in seconds.
For the second day in a row, Jim woke up to a very horny Vulcan sucking on various appendages. Unfortunately, it wasn't that appendage.
"Are we still being watched?" Jim asked groggily. Because said headache was gone he was interested in fun time with Spock but only if they did not run the risk of making an accidental sex tape.
"There are at least 15 security officers within a 2 km perimeter of this location. Chief Security Officer Winslow is currently drinking coffee with Doctor McCoy in the breakfast nook." Spock explained.
"We have a breakfast nook?" Spock nodded his head in agreement as he ran his hand over the bear skin of Jim's stomach.
"Well it looks like our accommodations have improved over the last time. Before your hands go any lower, though are we being filmed?" He asked Spock even though he really wanted that hand to go lower.
"No; however, your life signs are still being monitored." Spock explained as the door to their bedroom was thrown open by good old Bones.
"That means that if your horny Vulcan husband plans to do what I know he's planning to do, I'm going to know about it." Bones said as he stood in their room. "Keep your damn hands to yourself until Chris lets me have my own house. I still don't understand why Vulcans get all horny after a near death experience."
"Better than homicidal." Jim mumbled to himself before turning to Bones.
"You seem surprisingly chipper this morning." Jim said sarcastically as he pulled himself away from his husband.
"You wouldn't be chipper if you were drugged and locked in a supply closet for 12 hours." Bones complained. "My damn neck still hurts."
"You are not dead. You should be more grateful for that." Jim said, closing his eyes trying not to remember the bodies that he saw yesterday.
"Still being alive after one of Jim's crazy stunts doesn't shock me anymore. Near Death experiences are becoming normal." Bones joked.
"Too normal." Spock remarked under breath. That type of behavior was not normal for his husband.
"Bones, give us a few minutes to shower and get dressed before you grace us with your snarky presents?" Jim asked trying to get some alone time. "I promise not to molest my husband."
"I would never expect such a thing from you. That's like asking the sun not to rise. Just try not to overexert yourself and nothing extremely rough or kinky. Don't even think about giving into your choking fetish. You got strangled enough yesterday." Bones sounded like a lecturing mother.
"I don't have a choking fetish." Jim said in mock offense. "Also, it wasn't my fault big burly guy number three decided to choke me after I successfully disarmed him."
"I need to get out of this place and away from you." Bones mumbled before leaving the room.
"Okay now that we're alone you can tell me why you're freaking out Vulcan style?" Jim asked his husband.
"I do not freak out." Spock said giving him eyebrows of doom number 284.
"How long have we been together? No, I don't want the exact numbers." Jim said just before Spock started to go into encyclopedia mode. "You freak out a lot. What's bothering you?" Jim asked again this time stroking Spock's cheek.
"You almost died." Spock said in a whisper.
"That has happened a lot with me. I almost died being born." Jim joked but it fell flat. Spock was obviously not amused.
"Okay, no jokes about me dying, but this is kind of normal for me anyway. Why are you so upset? Don't argue that you're not upset, because I know you're upset. I know you better than you know yourself." He said slightly annoyed.
"You almost died." Spock repeated again.
"And?" Jim prompted, because he could not understand why Spock was so upset about this. Jim has almost died on multiple occasions.
"You actually died. I felt you die." Spock was actually trembling. He didn't even do that when his mother died.
"But I'm still here." He said grabbing Spock's hand for a kiss.
"You died and I could not save you." He could fill Spock's emotions through their bond. The last time he felt something this intense from Spock - actually he never felt something this intense from his Spock. Now, this mimicked the intensity of what he felt during the mind melt with other Spock.
"But you did save me." He said pulling Spock into his arms, as they both lay on the bed. "The doomsday virus/galaxies worst flu vaccine did not work because I'm connected to you. Doctor Key's, or whatever her name is, assassination attempt didn't work, because you kicked Doll soldier ass. You saved me." Jim said burying his head in Spock's neck.
"I do not want to lose you." Spock's voice was low and almost as if he was going to cry. Jim answered by placing his lips on Spock's. They needed this. Jim needed this contact. Spock needed it probably more. It told him that Jim was still here.
"I'm not going anywhere. You won't lose me." Jim said in reassurance.
"Do not promise things that you are unable to keep." Spock told him again in a whisper.
"Never tell me not to do something because I'll just try to do it anyway. I'm not leaving you without a fight. I love you." He said again.
"I love you too, T'hy'la." Spock said, kissing him back in a way that resulted in the usual shedding of clothing. This time it was slow with gentle kisses on skin and taking the time to unbutton things instead of ripping clothes off. They rarely did slow anymore, because with their busy schedules, they rarely have the time. But this wasn't a quickie to take the edge off. This was lovemaking. Actually this was telling Spock that he was still there and would do anything in his power to make sure it stayed that way.
"Next time you go against doctor's orders, make sure you use a gag. We could hear you from in here." Bones said as Jim exited the master bedroom an hour and a half later after a quick shower taken separately. Jim didn't trust himself to be around his husband and actual water.
"I don't think we were that loud. Also we did follow orders. You said nothing kinky. Using a gag would have violated that order." Jim said grabbing a muffin from the table. Bones' response was to mumble several curse words under his breath.
"Just eat your breakfast Jim and shut up." The doctor groused.
"Are you sure this is not poisonous?" He said before taking a bite.
"We've tested everything." Officer Winslow said briskly.
"I also tested it to make sure it is Jim Kirk allergy safe, you'll be fine. Just shut up and eat. You should be happy we left you something after you spent the last hour and a half doing nothing." Bones said chastising him again.
"Hey, I did something." Jim complained.
"Yes, your husband." Officer Winslow mumbled under his breath.
"It was more like sex therapy." Bones just nodded his head in understanding at his words, but the security officer looked confused. "How much longer are we going to be here?" Jim asked
"Until K is arrested for treason or whatever the hell they're actually charging him with." Bones complained.
"The guy really was an idiot. If you're going to misappropriate billions of credits for building your own secret army for the purpose of starting an interplanetary war due to your own xenophobia, you really shouldn't sign the authorization forms yourself." Jim quipped eating his muffin.
Spock finally joined the three for breakfast later. He was more his usual self at that point. By usual self, Jim means that he was asking Officer Winslow half a dozen questions about the current situation. It was enough to make Officer Winslow happy when his shift was over. After Officer Canon took over at lunchtime Chris called.
"I would ask why the hell you put me and Spock in protective custody without telling us, but I know you won't give me a straight answer." Jim said giving Chris an all too bright smile. Officer Canon was shocked by his behavior.
"Good afternoon to you too James." Chris said rolling his eyes.
"Admiral Pike, the pleasantries are not necessary." Spock said almost coldly referring to his former lover by his title. That's Spock for 'stop fucking with my life you manipulative commitment phobic bastard'."
"You're still mad at me?" Chris asked looking directly at Spock.
"We are both furious with you." Jim said answering for his husband. "Where the fuck do you get off not telling either of us that some psychopath was trying to kill me and my husband just to set off some grand war?" Again, Officer Canon was shocked at James demeanor with an admiral. Chris was not an admiral in this moment but rather an overprotective father figure.
"It was classified." Chris said crossing his arms. That was Pike for 'Lord give me strength.' He and Spock had some of the same mannerisms.
"That is a Bullshit answer. Both Spock and I have the highest security clearance you can have in Starfleet and we had a need to know. When somebody is trying to kill you, you need to know about it." Jim actually started yelling as Spock grabbed his arm. He doesn't know why. It's not like he can punch Pike, even though he really wants to.
"Jim you need to calm down." Bones chastised and Spock looked mildly annoyed. Okay, Spock was giving him his 'you are embarrassing me, please stop before I consider never having sex with you again' look. Jim hated that look but not enough to back down, because Chris was being a moron.
"I don't want to. I want to scream and yell because instead of having a second honeymoon with copious amounts of sex, I've been in hiding. More importantly, I have no idea why I was in hiding. I hate running away." Okay, even he realized he was acting like a sullen child right now.
"Judging by the bite marks on your neck, I doubt the no sex part of your statement." Chris said on-screen under breath.
"Well, I'm sure you know how much of a biter Spock is." Jim said with an all too innocent smile. Chris did not look happy and Officer Canon was choking. Good. He will be sending Chris a gift basket every year for the rest of eternity to thank the man for screwing up his relationship with Spock.
"Can you to please hold off on this pissing contest until after this briefing?" Officer Canon asked with an irritated side, once he regained his composure.
"Fine," Jim said putting his hands across his chest again. "I assume that you now have the moron responsible for this grand conspiracy in custody?"
"He was arrested this morning when he made another appearance on the Barbara Sawyer show. She was more than willing to cooperate with us to set a trap for K." Chris explained.
"Probably because she knew her ratings would be through the roof." Bones mumbled cynically. Jim agreed.
"What charges is the man facing?" Spock asked.
"At present, embezzlement and possession of a biological weapon. Apparently, he had an entire freezer filled with the mystery virus that almost killed you. We are still working on the other charges. All together around 200 separate charges. He may be the first person to qualify for execution since Kudos." Chris explained darkly. Just the mention of that name made Jim sick, especially because the Tarsus anniversary was two days earlier.
"That should be enough alone. How many people can he kill with that much of the virus?" Jim asked.
"In light of the average size of a contemporary refrigerator and assuming an airborne delivery system is used, it would be possible to kill everyone in the San Francisco metropolitan area." Spock said in the most matter-of-fact voice possible.
"Complete sociopath." Bones said looking disturbed.
"I agree with you there." Chris told the group.
"What about my brother?" Jim said, dreading what he was about to hear. Sam may hate him for the most ridiculous reasons in a galaxy but he was still his brother. Deep down, he would always care about Sam.
"It's not good. He worked on the doomsday virus and the Doll Soldier project. We are not even sure how many 'sleeper soldiers' we have in Starfleet at the moment." Again, his voice was grave.
"That is not good." Jim said with worry.
They continue discussing the situation a little bit longer before Jim asked the others to leave the room. Then it was just him, Chris, and Spock.
"Okay, now that Bones is hiding in the guest room and our babysitter is doing rounds, you can give me and Spock the real reason why you felt we should be put into protective custody?" Jim asked Chris with hands across his chest once more.
"We would also like to know why we were left ignorant of the true gravity of the situation." Spock added giving Chris eyebrows of death number 182.
"I don't think you realize how bad the situation really was. Jim you were dead and Spock almost followed behind you. You were in no shape to participate in the investigation. If you knew what was going on, I would not have been able to keep you from hurting yourself. One of these days, your overconfidence is going to get you killed and I really don't want to deal with your grieving husband." Chris said darkly.
"I do not agree with your argument. Just by going through the videos we were able to find evidence linking K to the assassination attempt." Spock said giving Chris angry glare number 273. The last time Jim saw this expression was when some dumb little girl tried to stick her hand down his pants in front of Spock.
"Yes, after you are both breathing on your own and could stand up straight. If Doctor Key tried anything during the first couple of days, you both would have been dead. Secure quarantine was the best option. What I said earlier also applies to you Spock. Don't overestimate what you can do. You have a lot of people who have your back. You don't need to do everything on your own." Jim wanted to make some snide comment about how the Doctor was able to get to the couple in their supposedly secured location but Spock gave him the 'let me talk right now' glare of death.
"We concede your point under those conditions. However, once our health improved to a level where we could defend ourselves if another attack occurred, we should have been informed." Spock countered.
"You were informed. You don't think I didn't know what Jane was doing?" Chris asked poignantly.
"So you let her tell us about your upcoming nuptials for reasons other than you were too much of a coward to do so?" Jim asked in an, oh so sweet voice.
"I really was planning to tell both of you at the anniversary party. I'm talking about the other stuff that she let slip." Spock's response was eyebrows of death number 222.
"I sincerely doubt that nor do I care. I have known you too long Christopher. You avoid conversations that make you uncomfortable. You often choose not to explain your motivations or actions. Why did you choose the videos as a means for us to discover what was happening?" Spock asked still giving Chris the Vulcan glare of death.
"Because I wasn't sure who we could trust outside of your circle. Even then, I wasn't even 100% sure. The Russian kid did sleep with one of K's operatives. I even had my own fiancé go through interrogation. However, Jane I was sure of. That woman sees you as her son and Spock as a very good friend. Hell, she lets her kids call you uncle. I trusted her to tell you what you needed to know in a way that would not alert everyone." Jim has yet to hear that phrase about Jane seeing him as a son by someone else before and yet he's always known it. Jane really did see him as her son.
"You may have a point." Jim conceded.
"Why were we not told directly?" Spock asked in a matter-of-fact tone. "What was the purpose of the subterfuge?"
"Again, we weren't sure who to trust and anything direct could have been intercepted even with encryption. We were already using the Vulcan encryption system that Commander Uhura came up with instead of standard encryption. I just trusted in Jim's nature that once he became suspicious he would start looking for the pertinent information. We didn't anticipate Key." Okay, Chris knew him a little too well.
"Somebody is getting a promotion." Jim mumbled under breath. He's not surprised. Nyota was the one who figured out what was going on with cupcake. "I'm still going to be losing her to Special Forces someday."
"Not for a while. We were worried and we had right to be worried considering K had a handful of doll soldiers in place. According to the interrogation, the second assassination attempt was triggered because you were getting too close to the truth." Chris' anger was very audible in his voice.
"That was the thing with the hazelnuts?" Jim asked tentatively.
"Yes. How they knew that I always got Spock croissants every time I made a mistake, I will never know." Now Jim could hear sorrow in Chris's voice.
"Probably because you made a lot of mistakes." Jim mumbles so low that only Spock can hear him.
"The third attempt was triggered when the two of you became suspicious of Ensign Cook. She's really a 22-year-old from Sacramento with a criminal record that nobody would miss." That's when Chris gave them all the messy details about K's secret soldiers program that did not make it into the dossier including the fact that K was egotistical enough to recycle the last names of his operatives. Apparently the late Captain Cook was another Doll Soldier.
"Where did he get the idea for stuff like this?" Jim asked when Chris was done.
"21st-century science fiction television." Pike remarked.
"He's recycling old TV shows for his villainess plans! That's rich." Jim scoffed.
"What happens now?" Spock asked getting the conversation back on track.
"You are to enjoy the next two weeks of your medical leave/second honeymoon at Starfleet expense complete with guards and Doctor McCoy on standby." Jim was about to make some snide comment about not being able to enjoy the second honeymoon with Bones living in the same beach house but Spock's angry glare (for him) prevented Jim from doing so.
"Don't worry Doctor McCoy will be next door with the security detail." Jim breathed a sigh of relief
"What about the investigation?" Spock asked.
"What about my brother?" James asked.
"Don't worry about it. Nyota will brief you in a few days. She has point and I know you trust her implicitly. You don't have to do everything yourself. Trust in the abilities of those that you have trained." With that the screen went dead.
"Was he this annoying when you guys were dating?" Jim asked his husband in all seriousness
"Yes. I find that I prefer your company."
"Good answer." Jim said kissing his husband again. Okay maybe more than kissing was involved and Bones chose that moment to walk into the room. He continued screaming until Jim told him he was getting his own beach house.
The best part of this honeymoon was the copious amounts of sex, even if Spock was limiting said activities. That was probably the only good thing about the honeymoon/medical leave. They weren't allowed to order takeout because everybody was paranoid about the food being poisoned including Spock. (Thank God room service was allowed.) Actually, Spock insisted that he taste everything, meaning that this was going to be a very vegetarian vacation and he was so looking forward to a juicy steak.
They were not allowed to leave the beach house, not even to actually go to the beach. What's the point of staying in the beach house when you cannot use the beach? He was so talking Spock into sneaking out there as soon as they can figure out how to ditch the security team. Between the two they should easily outsmart the 15 guys stationed around their location.
There was great shopping on this planet or so his BFF told him when she gave him the non-edited account of what really happened (in ancient high Vulcan of course). Chris left out a few things such as Sarek threatening him with bodily harm, if he doesn't find who was responsible for the assassination attempt. Apparently, Chris was terrified of his former boyfriend's father and did not care if he showed it. Also, Jane and his mom managed to get in a fight at Starfleet headquarters. He would love to see that surveillance footage. Ny said she would think of some way to get it.
On the upside, they were now allowed more calls from friends and family. Chekov is not that happy that his crush is getting married but he likes Janice, so it is not as horrible as it could have been. However, knowing that he slept with one of K's special agents proved enough of a distraction to make him forget all about the wedding. He mentioned on multiple occasions the desire to wash himself off with bleach.
Spock, finally, agreed to speak with his father. The whole exchange brings a whole new meaning to the term passive aggressive. Of course, Spock doesn't mention anything about the gift card. Although that's probably because their safe house was owned by the same company that owns the old San Juan resort and they could use the credits for room service to order food that did not come out of a replicator. Because if they were going to be in protective custody they should at least get something decent to eat. Also, Spock neglected to mention anything Nyota told him regarding his encounter with Chris. Jim would have loved to ask his father-in-law about that but Spock probably wants to avoid anything that could lead to a conversation about why he kept Chris from his father.
He does ask Sarek about what he said in the video file.
"I have learned long ago that I cannot make you do anything you do not want to do. You received that trait from your mother but also from me. Despite what you may believe I do not hate your husband. If my ignorant colleagues could not get need to leave your mother, I do not see them in succeeding from separating you from your James." Sarek's response completely shocks Jim. But then again a lot of things shock Jim. For example, his father-in-law seemed visibly happy that his son was not dead. Spock may never have a perfectly normal relationship with his father but it was getting better.
Of course, to get Spock to actually call his father, Jim had to agree to contact his mother. (He also threw in a BJ to sweeten the deal but he doesn't consider that a hardship.) Because too much stress is bad for his heart he decides to go with a very simple thank you note for kicking Sam's ass and for the gift card for the official Starfleet online store. Apparently his mother is as bad at buying presents as his father-in-law but at least this gift will still be useful.
Okay, the video file of his mom going off on Sam in interrogation is his new happy video. He may or may not have hacked into a very high security database where all of the surveillance footage is kept. (He still couldn't find the fight between his mom and Jane.) Really, he wasn't doing anything evil. This was really ethical hacking because he found multiple holes in the firewalls. At least, it will be somewhat ethical hacking as soon as he reports what he found (okay, more than likely Spock will make him do it).
Now, Jane is somebody that Jim doesn't get to speak to for a while. He does get to see her. They now have full net access and not just to the Starfleet intranet. Which means they get to watch live streams of the local news. A very heavily edited version of what K did was making the rounds. Jane, as the public face of Starfleet was doing at least one press briefing an hour. Personally, he wonders how she can deliver these briefings with a straight face. The shouting match with Barbara Sawyer, on day two of his medical vacation, was the highlight. By the fourth day Jane finally called.
"Oh God, I'm going crazy. Thank God you called. Jim said when he answered. "There's only so much online shopping I can do."
"You get bored very easily. Shouldn't you still be doing your husband? Why are there so many boxes in the background?" Jane looked behind him. Okay, besides the fact he could do a lot of online shopping from various outlets on the planet there really wasn't that much to do.
"Shopping online, because I'm stuck here. It's amazing what you can get delivered to the middle of nowhere or an ultra-exclusive resort. Spock is reading various classified briefing papers or possibly meditating by this point. Also, he's only allowing two hours of sexual activities a day. Bones took the twister game after he walked in on us playing; I need to keep myself entertained." Despite having very little shame his cheeks were crimson.
"I'm assuming clothing was optional and a bottle of lube was involved?" Jane asked raising an eyebrow.
"I choose not to answer that question."
"That's probably for the best." Jane said with a sigh.
"Is there any way you can convince Chris that we can do something other than staying in this house? K is in prison along with my brother and Cupcake." He asked desperately.
"We're still dealing with the fallout from the Doll Soldier Project. This guy kidnapped people, wiped their minds, gave them a bunch of performance enhancers that have been illegal for decades and placed them on various ships and Starbases. The only thing that is working in our favor was that he kept giving them one of four different last names. I'm surprised we didn't pick up on the vast influx of cadets name Cook in the last 10 years." Jane joked.
"This wasn't a new thing?"
"No. K wasn't even the one who started the project. He just took it over."
"Fuck." He exclaimed because he wasn't sure what else to say.
"That's what I said. Until we are sure that your crew wasn't secretly programmed to kill you in your sleep you are on paid vacation. Well at least until Dr McCoy says your 100% recovered for nearly dying. Then you can kick all the bad guy ass you want."
"But I can't do anything now." He whined.
"You sound like Jamie right now when she is sick. Are you sure the problem is that you can't do your husband right now?"
"Possibly."
"What about the games I sent?" Jane asked
"I told you Bones took the twister game."
"What about Monopoly?" Just the suggestion sent a shiver down his spine.
"I discovered not to play that with Spock during captivity. Amanda used it to teach Spock about money when he was four. It was not pretty."
"Have you tried talking to your husband?" Jane asked with a laugh.
"Yes. We have really good communication. He is also no longer freaking out over the fact that I almost died." Yes, they've had several long talks about what happened usually after fun grown up time. Spock was getting to the point where he no longer assumed Jim would disappear at any moment.
"That's an improvement. What about movies?"
"I think I'm all movied out. You can only watch the Lion King so many times. We have even watched almost the entire uncensored wedding video footage. Did I mention how truly devious you are?" He said with a wicked smirk.
"We needed something that would survive interception. I'm glad you enjoyed the girls' message to you. Really, I have no idea that they were planning that." She said smiling.
"Actually we didn't get that far. I think that's the only one we haven't seen yet." He said frowning because that actually sounds interesting.
"That means you have something to do." Jane said a little too cheerily. Okay, now he really wanted to know what the girls said.
After a year of marriage, Spock knew that it was not the most advantageous thing to leave Jim to his own devices. There was an incident involving Jim reprogramming all the replicators to make 'Big Macs' that resulted in everyone being forced to consume ration bars for three days due to being bored with a star mapping assignment. Despite knowing this, Spock felt that intense need for meditation, resulting in the need to leave Jim without entertainment or supervision for the afternoon.
He did meditate some when Jim was asleep or unconscious during the early parts of their 'medical' confinement. It was necessary for his recuperation. In light of his emotional outbursts their first day at the beach house, he knew meditation was necessary. Actually, between prolonged contact with his former significant other, reading the reports regarding what is being referred to as the K conspiracy, and being forced to call his father it was completely necessary.
It seemed that K tried to assassinate his husband on more than one occasion. 13 in all, including an incident two years ago at a diplomatic reception where James accidentally consumed strawberry nectar due to a supposed labeling mishap. Now he knew that the incident was anything but an accident. Thankfully, Dr. McCoy convinced him of the need to carry an allergy hypo to all formal diplomatic dinners.
What was even more disturbing was that despite his xenophobic philosophy, K was receiving funds from certain factions of the Vulcan Council. Spock is sure that these were the same Vulcans that vehemently protested his marriage on such flimsy grounds. His father gave him this information during their conversation earlier. This knowledge absolutely required him to meditate on the matter.
In light of these pertinent facts, Spock is not surprised to see James surrounded by boxes and tissue paper. The room is covered in Halloween candy, Christmas decorations, and silk scarves. Because James is speaking with Jane Barnett on the main com unit, Spock reframes from interrupting. However, he does not wait long because the call is abruptly terminated.
"Why is the living room filled with boxes and things for various holiday celebrations?" Spock asked his husband as he walked into what James referred to as the family room.
"Some are Anniversary presents." Jim said sheepishly.
"The rest?" Spock asked again.
"I may have gone crazy with the resorts online store. I decided to order some things to make the winter festival season actually festive this year. I figure we need to do something to raise morale after Cupcake screwed everybody over and several crewmembers discovered that the engineer they were hooking up with was really a spy for a rogue former Admiral who was trying to take over. Chekhov has taken about 35 showers since he found out what happened. Also, I doubt the crew is happy about spending their supposed shortly being interrogated by Starfleet intelligence and then sequestered." Jim explained and Spock is not surprised. James always tried very hard to build up the crew. Spock is sure that the events of the last few weeks have left everybody emotionally drained.
"Your idea is commendable; however, it may have been best to send everything to the ship instead of to this location which is supposed to stay hidden." Spock chided.
"Yeah, but if I did something like that I would give away our identity. Also, I didn't like having everything shipped to two addresses. There are a few things in the purple box for later." Spock quickly looked in the box to find the type of things that usually came in Jim's 'Book-of-the-Month club' shipments.
"If I have to clean up the living room by myself, I doubt I will be willing to use anything in the box except for maybe the handcuffs." Spock said pulling out the handcuffs.
"That could be fun." James said wiggling his eyebrows in a very suggestive way.
"They will not be used for the activities you prefer." Spock said darkly.
"You're in a mood today." Spock did not respond to Jim's words. "Fine, I will clean up after we watched Jane's video. Do you think you would be willing to let me have some popcorn? I doubt Orville Redenbacher is out to get me." Maybe he has been overprotective with James regarding testing all his food before allowing his husband to consume it. At the very least, he knows his husband desires to order a pepperoni pizza.
"I believe I have had enough of watching wedding video files for the perceivable future. However, I would not be averse to letting you order your favorite pizza for lunch." Spock said moving towards the couch. Of course, he had to remove several boxes from the couch before he was able to sit down.
"I'm right there with you but I still would like to know what my surrogate mom said about me. Also she may have implied that the girls did something devious and I know you will want to know what they did. Thank God you're finally letting me eat something that came from an animal." Jim said with a very bright smile.
Spock placed the order for food through their normal channels before sitting down with James to watch the final video. Spock enjoyed the fact that James placed his head on Spock's lap.
"Okay, I'm comfortable now. You can start the video file." James said with a suspicious smile.
"I believe you only want to watch a video with me so you may use me as a pillow." Spock said with eyebrows raised.
"You maybe freaking out about me almost dying I am freaking out about you almost dying. It doesn't help that this fiasco coincided with the Tarsus anniversary. I've watched a lot of people who died and I don't think I can survive watching you." Spock can feel through their bond that James's words are sincere. His response was to gently kiss his husband.
"I feel the same." He said before starting the video file.
As expected he saw the Barnett study on screen. He instantly recognized it from spending numerous Saturday evenings in their teaching Mia or Jamie how to play chess. Now he realized that both shared similarities with James in they're playing strategy. Although Jamie, Jim's namesake was much more reckless. She was aptly named.
Spock also remembered the room from the many private conversations he had with Jane in there. In the most recent before the wedding, she threatened to cut off his genitalia if he did anything to hurt her baby boy. That same evening he may have engaged in certain sexual activities in the room.
He is not surprised to see Jane and her husband in front of the camera. Spock does wonder where Mia and Jamie were.
"I would wish you and Spock a happy marriage but honestly, I just hope that you continue being the best team in Starfleet. I also wish that Spock continues having the patience to deal with the most reckless individual I have ever seen." Admiral Barnett started. That Spock remembers from the official video but it ended there.
"I also hope you have the patience to work things out when you begin to wonder why exactly you married this person, especially when she gets drunk and gets in a fist fight at her pseudo son's wedding"
"You think you're being really smart right now? I am so getting you back later. That thing with the candles is not happening anytime soon." Jane told her husband with a frown.
"In retaliation for what happened yesterday involving my wife and your mother, I thought it was time to turn the camera on her." He said with a smile that Spock has only seen on one additional occasion. It was in the video file that James hacked into regarding Mr. K's termination.
"You are no fun sometimes." Jane actually said sticking out her tongue.
"That's not what you said last night." Admiral Barnett said smugly.
"I hope to God this does not turn into a porno. At least if the kids were there, I would have some sort of assertion that wasn't going to happen." James said grabbing one of the cream throw pillows. Spock mentally echoed James sentiments.
"God, you're so mean. And we did nothing last night because I may have been slightly hung over or still feeling the aftereffects of being nerve pinch. It wasn't my fault. I had no idea whatsoever that the punch was spiked." Jane said in her defense.
"I wonder if he knows that she never touched the punch?" James said as he paused the file.
"That seems highly improbable. She probably would have been more inebriated considering the high alcohol content of the drink." Spock responded.
"Good point. You saw what it did to Mia. I don't think I was the only one she threw up on." James said before starting the file again.
"That's the only reason why I'm not mad at you. According to your Camera, Mr. Scott was the one who doused the punch with high quantities of an unknown alcoholic substance that may or may not be legal. Our 14-year-old is currently upstairs hung over after vomiting on a captain's shoes. Fortunately, it was Jim so it did not count." He actually laughed at that.
"I resent that." James mumbled under breath.
"You would not be offended by such behavior because you have done that on multiple occasions." Spock chided.
"I wasn't drunk I was having an allergic reaction." Jim said in his defense.
"Don't forget about what happened to McMillan." Jane said on-screen.
"She's still in the hospital. I'm trying to think of an adequate punishment before she gets out and we have to court-martial her for killing the best engineer in Starfleet." Barnett said sternly.
"Send him back to Delta Vega. According to Jim, he has nightmares about going back to that place. That should satisfy McMillan's blood lust without causing permanent psychological damage." Jane suggested.
"Well at least we know who really sent him back to the ice planet of the Damned." James mumbled again.
"That might just be evil enough to keep McMillan from using him as a test subject for new interrogation techniques." Spock personally did not want to know what was involved in such techniques.
"Let's get back to the issue at hand, why exactly did you attack Jim's mom?" Admiral Barnett asked.
"Because she's a [expletive]." Jane responded with half a smile.
"Nice try. How long have we been married?" He asked raising his eyebrows.
"Long enough that you know me but not long enough that we have stopped taping sex." Mrs. Barnett responded facetiously.
"God, I do not need to know that." James said hiding under a pillow again. "I hope to every omnipotent being in the universe that none of those video files ever finds its way to the net." Spock agreed.
"After more than two decades, I know when you are lying or at least only giving me a half truth. What you said may very well be true but you and I both know it was more than that." He said crossing his arms.
That's when Jane told her husband about that entire encounter with Mrs. Kirk during the official wedding pictures and what happened at the bar from her perspective. At one point she was so angry she was shaking.
"I know what she said was upsetting but what she thinks doesn't matter. You are the one that Jim asked to help plan his wedding. You are the one he calls when he and Spock are having problems. You're the one he calls for advice. The only thing that matters is what Jim believes and you are his mother." He pauses for a moment as he hugs his wife.
"It wasn't entirely Winona's fault. Lord knows back then they didn't even think to do a psych evaluation after what happened. From what you have told me I'm sure she suffered from severe depression or possibly PSTD. You were there when she could not be and I think that's why she said what she did. But it's not true." He reassured her.
"I didn't save him from Tarsus." Her voice seemed on the verge of tears.
"But you got him out of there and you brought Kodos to justice. You also got Commander Kirk to come back to earth." He said reassuring his wife.
"Some days, I wish I did not. He should have stayed with us. I didn't save him from a mom that was too depressed to take care of him." Again her voice was tinted with sorrow.
"Yeah, but you were there when he needed you." Admiral Barnett said squeezing his wife.
"No I wasn't. I didn't save him from Frank. The bastard almost killed him. If I arrived at the farmhouse just an hour later he would be dead. I couldn't even save him from his Brother being an asshole at his own wedding." Jane was actually crying at that point.
"The only thing that could have prevented that was not inviting the bastard to the wedding." He said as he used his fingers to wipe away her tears. "Why was the bastard invited to the wedding? Actually why were a lot of those idiots invited to the wedding?"
"You know how official Starfleet events are. You have to invite everyone even if you wish some of them were dead. As for Sam specifically, Spock said Jim would regret it if he didn't invite his brother. Unfortunately of the two, Jim is the mature one." She tries to laugh but it's forced.
"That's a frightening thought considering some of the things Jim has done over the years including what the idiot did to my car." Admiral Barnett complained.
"Oh shit." Jim whispered beside him.
"You know about that?" Jane asked her husband.
"I didn't believe you so I checked the security camera in front of the house."
"Yet, you did not try to kill him?" Jane questioned her husband.
"You spending time with him managed to get him to calm the [expletive] down and therefore made the entire admiralty happy. Besides Starfleet paid for me to get a new car so I wasn't that upset." He explained.
"Good point. You really do love the replacement car. Why is there a camera outside of our house?" She asked.
"Moronic cadets have been doing stupid things to the one in charge of Starfleet Academy for years. It was installed after a really bad incident during the 20s supposedly involving George Kirk and vast quantities of old-fashioned toilet paper. However nothing could be proven." The admiral explained.
"I would've loved to have heard that story." Jim said wistfully.
"I'm planning to get a lot of use out of it when the girls start dating." The Admiral joked.
"They have already started dating. For example Mia has received three different bonding proposals from various families from the Vulcan colony."
"Most likely the more progressive families," Jim mumbled again.
"Oh God, at least I don't have to worry about my daughter's virtue with Vulcan boys." Obviously, Admiral Barnett was unaware that Spock was usually the one who initiated most sexual encounters with James.
"I didn't say they were all boys. One was a girl. The Vulcan language doesn't even have words that refer to sexual orientation." Admiral Barnett seemed shocked at but Jane seemed unaffected.
"Why can't they stay little forever?" The Admiral said wistfully
"I've already married off my oldest child to a good one, so there's hope. Yes, Spock you are a good one. I've always liked you. Despite the fact that Chris is one of my oldest friends, I always thought that you were too good for him. You deserved someone who was never afraid to be seen with you. Who would shout from the rooftops or during a live stream to the entire Federation that he completely adores you, Jim loves you. He loves you, imperfections and all. Real marriage is not a fairytale. There is no happily ever after. It is hard work and tears. There are days when I literally want to smack my husband upside the head. But then I realize that I would be absolutely miserable without him." Mrs. Barnett explained with half a smile.
"I agree with my wife. There are days when I'm not sure how we survived two decades but I'm happy we did. She may not look the same way she did when we first met but I can't picture my life without her even if she embarrasses me by getting into a physical altercation at your wedding." Admiral Barnett added.
"I'm sorry, okay." She said kissing him that's when the video went black.
"Oh thank God it ended there. I really don't want to know what happened next." Jim said with a shiver.
"I agree." Spock said as another file started playing.
This time it was the Barnett girls in Jamie's room. This room was filled with various Starfleet paraphernalia including a replica of Enterprise. Unlike her sister, Jamie wanted to follow in her father's footsteps. Due to her high test scores she will be starting Starfleet Academy two years early.
"Hi, big brother." Jim's face lit up at those words from both girls.
"Since mom is going around asking everyone but us about what they think about your marriage Mia and I have decided that we should have a say." Jamie told the camera.
"Yes, apparently, those under the age of 18 have nothing to contribute, so she forgot to interview us. Parents, they really don't understand." Mia interjected.
"Really, we have the best embarrassing stories. For example Jimmy, we referred to your future husband as Uncle Spoke until we were in elementary school." Jamie said still grinning.
"Actually, I was seven." Mia said with a pout.
"You were always a little slow." Jamie said and Mia responded by hitting her with a pillow, making James smile.
"You are so mean. We also have great dating stories about her favorite big brother. During his last year at the Academy, he gave me 50 credits to pretend to be his daughter so he could impress this single father. I had so much fun pretending to be my big brother's daughter." Mia said grinning.
"I would like to hear more about this story?" Spock asked as he pause the file.
"It was a long time ago in between my blatant slut phase and my 'I am trying to be a serious Starfleet Captain' phase. It didn't work out. It turns out he was more of a closet case than your ex-boyfriend." James sounded quite bitter therefore Spock felt it was advantageous not to press the issue with his husband.
"I am not even entirely sure that is statistically possible." Spock mumbled under his breath in an effort to break the tension.
"You're joking. That means you're doing better. I assume that you actually meditated instead of reading more classified briefing papers about the grand K conspiracy?" James asked happily.
"I felt meditation was more advantageous for my general mental health. Actually, watching one of those bloody horror shows that you like where one of the serial killers looks suspiciously like me is more advantageous for my mental health." Spock added in all seriousness.
"It was just the second season and if you keep up like this, I'm going to start to think that you got into the Halloween candy that Chekov sent." James joked.
"I may have had a few of the chocolate pumpkin cheesecake truffles." Spock said truthfully. "I did have to call my father today."
"Good point." James said as he started the file again.
"Unfortunately, single father guy was a [expletive]." Mia explained.
"That's when we decided that it was best for us to find someone who really deserved our favorite big brother." Jamie explained.
"At the same time our favorite 'uncle' was just dumped by Chris." Maya said smiling.
"Don't get us wrong, we love Chris. He's a great babysitter." Jamie said with a laugh.
"That was because he allowed both girls to eat whatever they wanted including vast quantities of sugar and pizza. At least, you force the girls to eat a vegetable." Spock added darkly remembering babysitting duty. The girls managed to break several priceless family heirlooms. Despite the experience, he was not opposed to having children someday.
"However, let's be honest he was a moron. Spock we love you. You're absolutely wonderful. You never talk down to us or treated us like little kids." Jamie continued.
"You always respected our intelligence and saw us as individuals not the admiral's children. You have no idea how many cadets kiss our [expletive] just because of who our dad is. Actually, you have no idea how many cadets and others kissed our [expletive] because of our mom." Mia frowned as she spoke.
"You were always real with us and we'd like that. You also deserve someone better than Chris. He was terrified that you would want more than him and he wasn't ready to give you more." Jamie said sadly.
"We know you were in a lot of pain after everything went down." Mia added.
"So much that you actually dated a girl." Jamie interjected with a snicker.
"That's when we decided to set you guys up. We knew you two were perfect for each other." Again Mia was smiling as she spoke.
"You both love chess, computers and are married to Starfleet."
"You also both hate fake people and the overly pretentious." Mia said interrupting her sister.
"We were already making plans to invite both of you over for dinner or rather convince her mom to do so." Jamie said causing Spock to remember several emails he received from the girls around that time asking him to come over.
"Then our favorite big brother you had to be a moron because you can't take losing."
"Actually, I think it was daddy issues but we won't go there. This is supposed to be a happy video." Jamie said with a snicker.
"Anyway, as I was saying before my sister interrupted me, you just had to be an idiot and hack into the Kobayashi Maru, Jim. Thus resulting in you almost killing each other on the floor at the Academy."
"Actually, I thought it was flirting or violent foreplay. You saw the video file. You did notice the eye [expletive]?" Jamie interrupted again. Causing James to 'freak out'.
"She's too young to be talking about that sort of thing. She's a baby."
"When did you lose your virginity?" Spock asked in defense of the girls.
"It wasn't consensual, so it doesn't count. I didn't have 'real' sex again until Nikki and I were 17. Yes I'm not counting the other things that I did that led my mom to believe that I was the neighborhood slut." James said slightly annoyed.
"I did not mean to bring up such a painful memory I was merely reminding you that you cannot judge people by a different standard than that of which you hold yourself to." Spock tried to explain but James was still upset.
"Let's just go back to watching the girls." He said restarting the file.
"So unfortunately, you two were at each other's throats and well we all heard what happened on the bridge. Jamie found the unedited footage." Mia explained.
"I thought you only taught Mia how to break into computers?" Spock asked his husband.
"It's an important skill to learn," James said with a shrug.
"So we thought we lost all hope of getting our favorite brother someone who's not a [expletive]." Jamie started.
"Yet, somehow you two managed to surprise us. Unfortunately, we are scarred for life for watching the video file of when Mr. Chekov found out that you two were together." Mia finished.
"Really, we should never break into our mom's personal email." Jamie told the camera with a shiver.
"Yes, that was a bad idea." Mia was also shivering.
"And if what we saw at the wedding was any indication we know that you will be happy for a very long time." Jamie said regaining her composure.
"So we want to say we love you Jim. You're our favorite brother. And just remember even though Sam is an absolute bastard, we will always be your sisters." Mia told him but Jamie was nodding in agreement.
"Although, we're really looking forward to being aunts and we know Uncle Spock, you have the power." Spock was slightly disturbed by Jamie's words.
"Now it's time for our next great scheme, getting Chris to pop the question to our new Uncle Shawn. This may take a while." Mia said with a sigh.
"Or a miracle." Jamie interjected. That's when the video file stopped. James was crying at that point.
"Are you okay?" Spock asked his husband.
"I thought you hated that word." Jim said with a sniffle.
"Your human colloquialisms have rubbed off on me." James smirked at his words.
"I'm touched. Though my biological family is beyond fucked up I have all these people that love me. Even Chris in a very overprotective crazy way. I have sisters and brothers and even a mom figure who adores me. Most of all, I have you." He said placing a kiss on Spock's mouth.
"I hope we will be able to give your surrogate sisters' a niece or nephew soon." Spock said returning James kiss with equal vigor.
"So when exactly do you enter your special time?" James asked between kisses
"Theoretically in 2.8 years. However, I am not opposed to practicing right now."
"Practice is good." Unfortunately, 10 minutes later when both were deeply involved in said 'practice' Doctor McCoy walked into the living room with their pizza.
The End.
So do you want to see the third part of the trilogy tentatively titled But I Thought Guys Couldn't Get Pregnant? Review or PM me to let me know. I would say it would probably be a short story but we all know I don't do short. In the meantime, I have started the sequel to You Don't Have To Be My Boyfriend entitled The Truth About Love.