"Jarrod, I tell ya, if that danged Marty calls me a backwoods hick one more time, I'm gonna pop him."

The dark haired teen looked up from the harness he was cleaning to see the black scowl on his nine-year-old brother's face and sighed. "I can't argue with you, Nick, but you know if you hit him, Father's gonna take you out behind the woodshed. That's already happened once since they've been here."

"Might be worth it," Nick grumbled as he kicked at the dirt on the floor of the stable.

"They're leaving in a couple days," Jarrod reminded him. "Tell you what. If you can hold your temper until those cousins of ours are gone, I'll talk Mother into letting us go camping next weekend, just you and me. What do you think?"

Nick's face broke into a wide grin. "Really, Jarrod? That'd be great. Okay, I'll do my best, I swear."

Jarrod grinned back. "Just go get your chores done, Nick, and let me finish mine. There's no way Marty and Alma'll come by if there's work to be done."

"Now that's a fact," Nick muttered, his smile diminishing a little. "Guess I'll see ya at supper."

"See you at supper, Nick," Jarrod replied and returned his attention back to his work.

.

"I'm so sad to have to be leaving on Thursday, Victoria," their Aunt Ruth said after dinner was served. She'd come from St. Louis to help out after the birth of their new brother, Eugene. The boys were glad she was there, because otherwise, with their father busy building their massive new house, they would've had to help out with the babies. They just wished she hadn't brought her children along with her. Twelve-year-old Alma and eleven-year-old Marty were, in the Barkley brothers' opinion, spoiled, stuck up city kids who didn't know the meaning of real work or real fun.

"Well, I won't be sad to not have dust in my hair all the time," pronounced Alma, tossing her blonde ringlets over her shoulder. "I really don't know how you all stand it." Even at twelve, she primped and fussed more each day than Jarrod and Nick had ever seen their mother do, even for a fancy social event in town.

"Can't wait to get away from the smell of horse manure," her younger brother Marty said in a low voice so only his cousins could hear.

Jarrod kicked Nick's shin under the table. Nick turned to glare at his big brother, but Jarrod's warning look made him take a deep breath instead of saying whatever it was he was going to blurt out.

"Victoria and I are just thankful for your help," Tom told Ruth between bites. "Don't know how we would've managed without you."

"Would've managed just fine," Nick grumbled and he jumped when Jarrod kicked him again.

Victoria gave her son a stern glance. "Nicholas, what have I told you about mumbling at the table?" she admonished. "If you have something to say, speak up so everyone can hear you."

Nick studiously started cutting his beef. "It was nothing, Mother. Sorry." But when she turned away to help their one-year old sister, Audra, Nick gave Marty a dirty look.

"Hey, boys," Tom said, "since your cousin's only gonna be here a couple more days, why don't you take him fishing tomorrow? You haven't had a chance since Marty's been here."

Nick looked like he was going to choke, but Jarrod held back his sigh and politely asked, "Marty, do you want to go fishing with us?"

The sandy haired boy made a face and started to shake his head until Nick muttered in even a lower voice, "Yeah, just stay here with the babies where you belong."

Marty set his lips in an obstinate line and announced, "Why not? Bet I'll catch the biggest one."

"Put your money where your mouth is," Nick challenged.

"Nick," Victoria said warningly.

"How about whoever catches the biggest fish doesn't have to clean them?" Tom suggested with a grin and a wink to his wife and sister-in-law. "It won't hurt the boys to have a little sporting competition."

"Well, I'll go for that," Jarrod agreed.

"Me too," Nick seconded.

Marty looked like he was going to protest before giving a curt nod and Jarrod and Nick shared a glance. There'd just be something not right with the world if that city cousin of theirs caught the bigger fish.

.

"I can't believe we're related to them," Nick groused as he and Jarrod got ready for bed. When the new house was ready, there would be plenty of extra room, but right now, the two brothers had to share to make space for their houseguests.

"You've said that every night, Nick," Jarrod reminded him as he tossed his dirty clothes in the hamper.

"Don't make it any less true," Nick insisted. "And now we gotta take that arrogant little prig fishing."

Jarrod turned back the quilt and got into bed. "Look, they're only going to be here two more days," he said. "You can hold out until then."

"Hmph." Nick crawled in beside Jarrod and yanked on the covers. "As long as I don't freeze to death first from you stealing all the blankets."

"Me?" Jarrod said in outrage as he pulled the quilts back. "You're the one who's wrapped up in them every morning."

"Yeah, well, it's only to protect myself from getting kicked."

Jarrod just snorted. He rolled over and closed his eyes while hanging on tight to his corner of the blanket.

Nick laced his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. "If that smug Marty gets the biggest fish tomorrow, Jarrod," he said, "I ain't gonna be responsible for what I might do."

Jarrod turned and propped himself up on his elbow. "Nick, Father's already tanned your backside once for that stunt you pulled, making those coyote howls and scaring Marty half to death when he had to go out in the middle of the night."

"I shoulda tipped it over on him," the younger boy griped. "I spent all afternoon scrubbing that outhouse before they got here. He had no business complaining about it. Just 'cause they have that highfalutin' inside water thingy back in St. Louis or whatever it was Mr. Fancy Pants called it."

"Water closet," Jarrod corrected, "and Father's putting one in the new house, y'know."

"Whatever." Then Nick chuckled. "I just can't wait to see the look on ol' Marty's face when he has to put a worm on his hook and when he has to gut my fish."

Jarrod raised an eyebrow. "Your fish? Sorry, brother Nick, it'll be mine by five inches."

"Just keep dreaming," Nick snickered. "But, c'mon, can't ya just see it? Don't ya remember when I caught that humongous bullfrog right after they got here and showed it to him?"

"That was a pretty impressive frog," Jarrod agreed. "I don't remember who was greener, the frog or Marty."

The brothers shared a grin at the memory and then Nick sighed. "Alright, Jarrod, I'll try not to let him bug me, but only so Mother and Father'll let us go camping."

Jarrod gave his brother a friendly punch in the shoulder. "Attaboy. Goodnight, Nick."

"Goodnight, Jarrod." But sleep didn't find the dark haired boy quickly. Nick was too busy thinking of all the things he'd like to do to show up that cousin of theirs. Just because he lived in a big city didn't mean he was any better than they were.

.

Jarrod held up the fish with an air of satisfaction. He knew he'd hooked a big one and had carefully and patiently worked it in for the past half hour until he was able to wade out and collect his tired prize.

"Well, at least ya didn't beat me by more than five inches," Nick said in resignation. He looked at the trout he'd caught. It was nothing to sneeze at, but Jarrod's was a monster.

They both looked over at their cousin. Marty caught himself an impressive clump of river weeds, but since he refused to take a worm and put it on his hook, that was all he'd gotten.

He sniffed self-importantly. "No one important is ever gonna care how big of a fish you can catch," he sneered.

"Oh, yeah?' Nick defended. "Well, Jarrod's gonna be going to college in a few years and he's gonna be one of the most important lawyers in the state. Probably even the country. And I'll be running this ranch and everybody's gonna be lining up to buy Barkley beef. We're gonna be the important people and dang right we're gonna care how big of a fish you can catch." He put his hands on his hips defiantly. Jarrod just rolled his eyes.

Marty snorted. "Yeah, right. Like anyone with cow dung on his boots is gonna get into an important college." He looked at Jarrod scornfully. "You don't got what it takes."

Jarrod practically threw the fish at his cousin in disgust. "You still get to clean the fish," he said shortly before turning to grab his gear.

Nick's quick reflexes grabbed Jarrod's prize catch as the fish slipped out of Marty's hands. He was ready to put down both trout and have a go at the other boy until a wicked idea popped into his head. "I'll do the fish," he said magnanimously. Both Jarrod and Marty looked at him in surprise. "Don't reckon you'd be able to do a good job of it anyways." He squatted down, took out his knife and started to efficiently clean them. "Too bad you ain't gonna be able to brag to your city friends that you were able to beat out your hick cousins at something, though."

"I can do anything you can," Marty retorted hotly.

"Uh huh," Nick said with condescension in his tone. "Reckon ya can't tip over a cow."

"Course I can," Marty huffed. Jarrod looked in askance at Nick, but kept his mouth shut. He wanted to find out what his brother was up to.

"You know horses sleep standing up," Nick went on. Marty had expressed his disbelief at that his second day at the ranch, wondering why the animals didn't fall over. "Well, cows do too."

Jarrod turned his head so Marty couldn't see him disguise his laughter.

"They're real easy to push over if ya don't wake them up," Nick concluded. "But I don't reckon you're strong enough."

Marty crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. "Am too."

Nick regarded him doubtfully and then looked over at Jarrod. "I dunno, what do you think, big brother?"

"Your idea, your call, Nick." He looked unconvinced at Nick's proposal.

"You don't think I can do it, do you?" Marty complained, taking the doubt on Jarrod's face as doubt in his ability rather than Nick's dubious plan. "Well, you just name the time and place, cousins."

"Tonight," Nick said as he tossed the fish in a basket. "After everyone's asleep. Father don't take well to us knocking over the stock, y'know."

.

"Nick, I don't think this is such a good idea," Jarrod said as they unsaddled the horses after arriving back home.

"Oh, c'mon, Jarrod, don't be such an old pappy," Nick scoffed. "I mean, what's gonna happen? Those cows'll hear him coming a mile away. There's no way he's gonna get close enough to touch one, let alone try to push it over. Besides, ya can't let him get away with what he said about you, can ya?"

Jarrod thought back to Marty's disparaging remarks. He was proud of his ambitions and didn't think growing up on a ranch was going to hold him back. "Nope, I guess I can't," he confirmed. "All right, Nick, it'll be fun to watch Marty try to sneak up on one of the cows."

"That's the spirit," Nick said as he slapped his brother on the back. "C'mon, let's go get supper. Those fish are gonna be mighty tasty."

.

The soft lowing of cattle could be heard as the boys tethered their mounts to the fence. The moon was almost full and a lot of the herd could be seen lying down sleeping, but here and there, Jarrod and Nick could spot a few relaxing upright, contentedly chewing their cuds.

"Now ya gotta pick the right one," Nick advised. "One of the steers is probably your best bet. Some of those cows can be pretty uppity and there's no way you'd wanna try tipping over a bull."

Marty looked out with a puzzled look. "But how will I know the difference?"

Nick was barely able to contain his snort of disbelief, so Jarrod answered. "Well, a cow's got an udder, that's what you milk, and a bull's got… well, he's got all his equipment hanging down at the back."

"And a steer?" Marty asked.

"Well, a steer, he don't have that equipment no more," Nick replied as he regained his composure and almost lost it again when he saw Marty's face go pale.

The sandy-haired boy gulped. He looked around and pointed to an average sized steer that was standing not far away. "How about that one?" The animal's head was drooping a little and unless one noticed the continuous chewing, it was easy to believe he was asleep.

"Yeah, he looks good," Nick said and gave Marty a little push. "Go for it."

Marty hesitantly made his way across the field.

"Watch out for those cow patties," Nick called out in a low voice. "They can be real slippery."

Seeing the other boy put down his feet with such overt caution caused the brothers to almost lose their composure. It helped him be quiet, however, and he was almost up to the steer when Jarrod saw movement out of the corner of his eye.

"Nick!" he said in alarm as he jabbed his elbow into his brother's ribs.

Nick turned to see a big brindle bull with a spread of horns at least five feet wide stop and snort as he pawed the ground. The bull was looking right at Marty.

"Run, Marty!" Nick yelled.

The sudden noise startled the steer. It turned to run, skidded, fell over and then scrambled to its feet a second later before running off. Marty turned with a jubilant look on his face as the bull began its charge.

"Get out of there, you idiot!" Jarrod hollered.

Marty finally saw the almost two-ton animal barreling down on him. He yelped and ran towards the brothers. Nick hurried to untie the horses and Jarrod almost threw Marty into the saddle when he reached them. They took off at a gallop and the bull snorted and shook its horns as it gave up the chase.

After about a mile, they reined the horses in to a walk.

"Did you see me?" Marty crowed. "I tipped that cow over real good!"

Nick opened his mouth to protest that the steer fell down on its own, but Jarrod shook his head warningly. Nick closed his mouth. If Marty thought he'd actually pushed the animal over, he'd be less likely to rat them out. "Yeah, ya did," he admitted grudgingly.

"We'll make a rancher out of you yet," Jarrod added.

Marty stared at them, horrified. "Never," he pronounced vehemently and urged his horse into a lope.

"I will never let you talk me into anything like that again," Jarrod swore, shaking his head at the close call.

Nick grinned. "But it was sure a lot of fun. I bet after Marty brags to all his buddies back in St. Louis, all the city slickers'll wanna try it."

Jarrod couldn't help a grin at the thought.

"C'mon, Jarrod, race ya home." Nick kicked the sides of his horse and Jarrod followed, both boys laughing at the idea that anyone would think they could actually tip over a cow.

.

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I in no way own The Big Valley, the characters or situations from the show. I make no money from writing this, just the personal satisfaction of (hopefully!) entertaining those who love the show as much as I do.