Guilty Passion

Chapter Twenty-Eight

A/N: Damn, I take forever to update this story. I'm sorry. Special thanks to those of you who have reviewed, favourited or followed. I appreciate the support more than you'll ever know. I hope I got around to responding to everyone. If not, I apologize. Here's a light-hearted chapter for your troubles :) I hope no one forgot where this fic had left off, yikes.

It was like a stone had congealed itself in Sakura's insides, forcing the breath from her. Then, with an inhalation that seared in her lungs, she commanded with raw belligerence. "Let me pass, Neji. I have to be going."

He didn't budge. His frame, large and powerful, blocked the narrow way. He was still holding her hands in his and Sakura frowned at the way sensation gathered under his fingers. Sickness warred with something quite opposite to it and she stared at him with wide, uncomprehending eyes.

There was a furrow between his brows, further emphasized by the pale glitter of his eyes. His expression looked confused more than anything else.

He raised a hand to push a fluttering pink strand of hair from her eyes. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Sakura. I haven't seen you in four long months. I can't let you leave without saying all the things I should've said four months ago."

Her mouth fell open. Then closed again. A wave of unreality washed over her, even deeper than the shock waves that had been washing over her since he said those words to her.

"That's what you are Sakura—my heart."

His heart.

His love.

The unspoken words danced between them. Some irrational part of her wanted him to say it, even though it wasn't true and never had been. Hearing the lie would be like salve on an open wound left to fester for four long months. It would be like having the anaesthetic his sudden presence had put on her hatred for him, finally wear off.

It was what he deserved. Cold, indifference.

She laughed. It was a harsh, brief sound. Then it cut out. "Now is really not the time for this sort of drama Neji. Some things are better left unsaid."

One arm still clutching her hand, he cupped her chin and brushed her lips with his thumb. The sensation sent a shiver of longing dancing over her skin. "Not this Sakura. This needs to be said even if it doesn't change a thing between us. I need to let you know."

"Know exactly?" What was he saying? She did not understand.

"The truth," he looked at her with honesty and directness that cut to her core.

There was movement behind her.

Sakura turned to see Hanabi and Ino enter the room, regarding them with concerned and guilty expressions.

She drew in a breath and tried to suck her skin away from Neji's touch. "What is the meaning of this pig?" she bit out.

"Sakura—I'm so sorry. It was Hanabi's idea to switch the twins. She tipped off the security guards and lured Neji here," Ino's words came out staccato and uneven.

Neji frowned, his eyes going to his sibling then back to Sakura. "I was just as surprised to see you in here and with Taro nonetheless."

A hesitant smile flitted across her lips. "It was nice to see him again, even if I hadn't a clue it was him. He was being so sweet until you showed up," her eyes narrowed to slits. There was a gleam of laughter in them that softened the hardness that seemed to fill them whenever her green gaze befelled him. "It really does prove that you bring out the worst in my baby."

My baby.

The possessive edge to her words should've made him mad.

But Sakura's voice rang with a deep conviction that assured Neji—quite possibly in spite of her own wishes—that she really was happy to see him as well.

"Where is Taro and Jiro?" He struggled to collect his wishful musings and get back on track.

Hanabi tilted her dark head to the side and grinned sheepishly. "We left them by that station where shoppers like to drop off their kids."

"What?" Sakura bit out irritably. Her head snapped round, and she pulled away from Neji violently. "Tell her to go get them."

The girl crossed her arms over her chest, "Do I look like the hired help?" Then her brows lowered and she looked up at Neji through her lashes. "I'm sorry nii-san but I have to go. Hinata called, father wishes for me to return home."

Sakura watched carefully as an odd expression flickered over Neji's face and then it closed into an unreadable mask. "It's okay Hanabi, go. We'll do this some other time." His expression remained infuriatingly enigmatic even as the corners of his lips twitched slightly. "I hope the old man is alright."

Pain lashed at her as she stared at him—but what was the use of pain? So she settled for anger.

A rumble of fury stirred in her chest at his nonchalant attitude.

She knew he wouldn't be able to sleep well at nights if—God forbids—something should happen to Hiashi and Neji didn't get the chance to lay their differences to bed. She knew a warm and loving soul burnt like a red hot coal inside the cool exterior of the ruthless man before her. She might not have been able to dig that far and discover it for herself but Taro and Jiro had, so she knows it exists.

"Don't tell me you have to leave too Ino," Sakura grouched when she saw the blonde made to trail behind Hanabi's retreating little figure.

"Actually I do. I need to go check on Hiashi and report back to Tsunade. Why do you think we left the twins by the kiddy centre, Forehead? We didn't know how long you and Neji would be at each other's throats and we weren't going to be able to stick around for it," her garbled words sounded like meaningless chatter under Sakura's piercing stare. "I simply came by to tell you know that I would be heading out."

Her hackles shot up. "I thought you already did when you bailed on me the second those guards cornered me."

Ino faked a gasp, "I would never do such a thing. An alarm went off outside and I went to check if it happened to be your car," then she gave a humourless smile. "Speaking of which I already had your groceries paid for and packed inside. I will drop them off by your place before I take Hanabi home."

Sakura raised startled green eyes to look up at her friend, frowning with confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

She shrugged and casted Sakura a wicked, mocking look that was tinged with mischief and spite. "I'm borrowing your car so you'll have to hitch a ride with Neji. I would wait around for you to go grab Jiro but you know how long it takes to get through with all of that and when Hiashi called it had sounded rather urgent."

"You never asked—" she broke off incredulously, her eyes wide with shock. "—we never agreed on anything like that. I see right through your—"

"Scheme?" Ino injected helpfully but she was out the door before Sakura could get a word out on the subject.

"Come back here Pig," her voice rose to a squawk and she was physically shaking with suppressed rage, but before she could give full rein to her temper Neji caught her elbow in an iron grip.

She tried to shake herself free. It was impossible. His grip was unshakable.

"We'd better go get them before Taro throttles some unfortunate child. He hates it there," he told her with grim heaviness.

She took a deep breath and tried to regain some composure. "Fine, but Jiro and I will be taking a cab home," her voice was flat now, the emotion gone from her eyes. "Don't feel obligated to do anything for us. The contract is no more," she finally managed to shake him off and stepped back, putting some space between them.

Contract.

The word was like a trigger in his skull.

He stared at her. It was like looking into the past and unto the guilt that had almost destroyed him. His insensitivity. His selfishness. The memory of it was ravening at him again, trying to devour him. Trying to swallow him up with memory of how Sakura's heart once leapt whenever she saw him.

Now it seemed to shrivel with hatred and diminish in size every time he crossed her mind.

"The annulment of a piece of paper doesn't relinquish the responsibility I have towards my family," he told her in with a hint of finality. His hand reached out to her once more, but she slapped it down.

"Your family?" her voice was accusatory and with an edge of bitterness she could not conceal. "Please Neji, let's just go."

He stepped back and gave her room to walk by him. For a moment she hesitated, then walked past him. Though there was no one around, she did not want to make a scene.

It seemed like a million miles to make it to their destination, and she could feel Neji's breath almost on her shoulders.

"Did you finish your shopping?" Sakura asked awkwardly. It was not an attempt to make conversation, she told herself. She was merely trying to find an excuse to ditch him the minute they retrieved the twins. "I want to return home now but I would hate to be the reason you had to cut your shopping trip short."

She looked over her shoulder to see him trying to worm his way through the numerous bodies that surrounded him. The supermarket was absolutely being flooded with shoppers now.

"Sakura," he said when he caught up, holding out his hand to her as they swayed along the perimeter of the crowd. "Take my hand."

She surveyed his outstretched hand as if in curiosity. Then her expression stiffened. "What for?"

"So we don't get separated."

Ever.

He wanted to say so much more. He wanted to take back the pain he'd caused her, all the bitterness that had poisoned her against him.

He wanted to make it right, to heal the legacy of hatred and ugliness his heartless actions had caused. And most of all, he wanted to take her in his arms and hold her—tight—until words became meaningless and even thoughts fell away.

But Sakura's diamond-hard stare made that impossible. Her lips straightened into a line that matched the stubborn set of her jaw. Her emerald eyes glittered with emotion that had nothing to do with affection, or tenderness or fond memories of the times they shared together.

"I'm not a child, Neji. I won't get lost—" she stared at him and added almost savagely, "—without the intention of doing so."

He swallowed. "I know but—" the pleading edge to his voice angered him. So un-Neji-like and emotional.

But how could he not be emotional around the woman he was so in love with, it felt like madness? He was tired of fighting the insanity.

Sakura's features contorted. "Quit being silly."

Emotion was ravening in him, like a wolf. The desire to reach out—to really touch her, beyond the physical—ached in his heart. When had she grown so cold? So cruel?

"You've changed, Sakura. You've grown hard." Even stifled as it was by the sound of screaming children and noisy shoppers, his words rang. Low and filled with conviction. His voice gave him the confidence to spill the words overflowing from his chest. "No matter how many times someone trampled on or trivialized your feelings you were always careful not to do the same to them. And even if you did it was always unknowingly."

A look of incredulity passed across her contorted features. "Did you really expect me to remain a pushover forever, Neji?"

"Of course not but the old Sakura would never have been deliberately scornful. That's what you're being now, by refusing to simply hold my hand. Why would you do that if not to hurt my feelings?"

"I wasn't aware that you had feelings." Her voice was high‐pitched and hollow. "And don't try to turn this on me."

"I used to love that girl," he shook his head and a harsh laugh rattled his chest. "I suppose, though I wouldn't have known to use that word for it at the time." His eyes were rich, full with emotion, and Sakura felt that stone in her throat again, so much so that she could scarcely breathe with it.

How can this be? She thought. How can this be?

It didn't—it wasn't.

Neji was speaking again. She forced herself to listen. The stone inside her seemed to be swelling, taking her over; blocking out everything else that existed. What was he saying? She stared at him, trying to listen.

He stiffened his spine and drew in a shaky breath. "But I guess it doesn't matter anymore because that girl is dead. I destroyed her—" the heated words peeled off his tongue like flames. "—and in turn destroyed myself."

Sakura snorted derisively and turned away. The gesture angered him. He reached for her again, his hand closing on her shoulder.

She froze at his touch. He could feel it, all her muscles tensing. Her reaction angered him even more. Why should she resist him?

She never resisted him—always yielded to him.

He thrust the memory aside. It was irrelevant.

A horrible emptiness sank into him. He was far too practical for this craziness.

His hand dropped from her. "You're right. I am being silly."

She was still half turned away from him. He could not see her face but when she did she placed her hand in his—slowly, numbly. The warmth of his hands enclosed her fingers.

"I was waiting for that lie all evening—waiting to remember why I gave up on us in the first place," she said, in a low, approving voice but it lashed like a whip. "I didn't think it would take me refusing to hold your hand but I'm satisfied. Come on, let's go."

Lie.

That single word went into him like a knife.

Why would he lie? At this stage, when everything between them was practically over? There was nothing at stake—nothing to save. Everything was already broken, so why would he lie? Where was the logic in that? Where was the sense?

Emotion and white-hot disbelieving fury whipped through him again. But he hammered it down and carefully, very carefully layered icy control over his features.

"Fine," his voice was flat. Very controlled.

Sakura's heart clenched.

Anguish pierced her.

She said nothing. Dared say nothing. Dared show nothing. Instead, all she could do was feel the strength of his grasp on her hand, feel the warmth flowing through her, meeting the chill that was forming inside her.

They had just been words, she told herself. Only words. Action spoke louder. And those words—as much as she'd long to hear them—held no power over her.

Not anymore.

OoOoOoOo

Taro was the first to have spotted Sakura's head of pink when they arrived at The Hidden Tot Village—it was the name given to the station. Minus the hyperactive toddlers running around and the place could've been mistaken for a toy store. A fake plum blossom tree stood in the centre of the room with equally artificial grass covering a three metre radius from its bark. Its branches supported colourful hanging chairs that contrasted nicely with the painted wall murals.

There were comfy areas with fluffy blankets, oversized pillows and floor seating such as bean bag chairs. Child-sized bookshelves and storage bins were there to encourage toddlers to pick up books and educational toys but most opted to stay in the play area. That was where Sakura caught sight of Jiro in the driving-seat of a toy car. It was the perfect replica of a convertible Lamborghini and actually had a battery-powered engine. An assistant was there laughing indulgently with him.

There were a number of babies crawling about with members of staff chasing behind to keep them from hurting themselves. It was a well-appointed facility, Sakura had to admit, quite a lovely place for children to play and interact with each other while their parents shopped. Everything from artwork to bulletin boards and chalkboards were hung at a child's eye level, to engage them more easily she supposed.

"Sackra! Sackra!" Taro came creeping across the moment she stepped through the door.

She jumped up and, swooping down, swept him up in her arms, planting a smacker of a kiss on his little nose. "Easy on the enthusiasm or I'll think you actually missed me."

He shook his head fiercely but Sakura had seen the gleam of joy in his big pale eyes when he saw her and her heart had flooded with love.

Absence truly did make the heart grow fonder.

"Daddy!" Taro screamed delightedly when Neji suddenly appeared. He pointed at his mother as if to indicate his disbelief that she was actually there in the living flesh. "Sackra!"

"Yes Hizashi, I'm aware it's Sack-rah," Neji grinned at the boy's mispronunciation and unusual antics.

He had actually returned Sakura's kiss which was not something either of them had ever witnessed before.

"Sackra ere, daddy." He babbled off, engaging his father in his version of a conversation; giggles and an unintelligible splutter of random syllables.

"Which one of these children's parents is going to file a lawsuit against me because you terrorized them?" Neji questioned him jokingly.

The infant shook his head as if to say he had been a good boy. "Bes beehive."

"Best behaviour huh?" he roared with laughter.

Sakura felt pain stab through her. It hurt to see Neji smile like that. A carefree, boyish grin. He was not a man who smiled easily.

"You tricked me earlier. I'll remember that," she swung Taro around, and then gently lowered him to the floor. "Go get your brother."

He flashed her a smile, and then his little body scampered across the room towards Jiro and the assistant.

She looked across at Neji and saw that the smile was still tugging at his mouth.

Her heart turned over at the sight and Sakura felt an inane desire to use something sharp to put the useless organ out of its misery.

How could people react so differently to each other? Taro and Jiro's pleasure and excitement at Neji's presence in their lives shone through their eyes. While she dreaded every moment in his company. And now—at the moment—she was left alone with him again, without Taro to dilute the hideous tension she felt.

Hard.

He'd said she had grown hard and it was true. She'd had to make herself hard, or she would not have survived. She would've bled to death.

How could she have loved him such a man? How can she still love him?

The cry came from deep inside, anguished and unanswerable.

It was demeaning to still feel this way after everything. She thought she was free of him—she made herself free of him. She forced herself to be free of him.

But it had been in vain. Completely in vain. It was all for nothing.

The whole excruciating agony of her situation honed in on her like a scud missile. Because of the twins she could never be free of Neji.

Never.

The nightmare she ran away from for four months came true—she would be forced to see him, forced to be civil to him and pretend, time after time, year after year, that he could not hurt her any more. For her sons' sakes she had to let that happen, had to endure it.

Sakura sighed and followed Taro's journey across the room with only half her attention. "I'm amazed how well he follows instructions, except the most important one—to behave."

Neji chuckled. "I suspect he's still pretending to be Jiro."

"Is that so?" she laughed. A cold, metallic sound so different from the raw passionate laughter he remembered. Her face bore a harder expression than he had ever seen her wear too. "Let's see how long this nice guy act lasts."

Neji couldn't help but think she wasn't looping Taro in on the challenge but rather, him. Hyuuga Neji. She thought he was being insincere.

Nice guy act?

A knife went into him. He wasn't reaching her at all. It was like she had closed her mind and her heart to him. Nothing he said would make a difference, but damn it he'd try.

She said nothing more, just stood there watching Taro argue with the assistant in his own little way with a rapt expression on her face, interrupted only by bursts of childish laughter from Jiro. He apparently found humour in what was taking place.

Her boys.

Neither her nor Neji have truly thought about them in all this mess.

"Why don't we all grab a bite after this?" he asked, his gaze uncomfortably penetrating when she turn to regard him once more.

Fierce excitement swelled in her chest but she squashed it. Squashed it and moistened stiff, unyielding lips—as unyielding as her resolve—before speaking. "I'm not hungry."

"Neither am I but—" His brow creased. He reached out to her but she jumped back as if he might bite her. His expression flattened. "—I thought we'd catch up. Besides it'd be nice if both of us spend some time with the twins for a change."

She blinked, and for once words didn't flow smoothly off that pretty tongue.

"I won't hassle you, I promise," he said, with a softness that raised the hair on the back of her neck.

"By asking you've already hassled me," tempered steel shimmered in her voice.

Her glare was basilisk.

He lowered his eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry."

The heaviness in her heart crushed her once more and she twisted her hands together. The idea of all four of them having lunch together held an appeal she didn't want to fight, but fight it she must. "I just really want to go home. Ino probably left my groceries on counters and I need to go unpack—"

"—say no more," he said, coolly cutting off her pitiful attempt at an excuse.

Guilt and shame pierced him like an enemy lance. Guilt for not being able to take a hint and just leave her be. And shame—shame that he was stooping as low as to becoming a nuisance.

"Taro should stay with me this week. That way we'd get to spend some time together."

"I take it that we doesn't include me?" His voice was as low as hers had been but the emotions in it scorched like fire. "I'm afraid you misunderstood my reasoning for suggesting lunch in the first place."

That basilisk stare was still there. Still killing.

"Of course it doesn't include you," her chin lifted defiantly. "Taro is my child. I have an obligation to him. You and I on the other hand are nothing. You are—"

"Nothing?" he fielded sarcastically, but she heard the tremor in his voice that he could not quite disguise.

"Sackra!"

"Toe-can!" Jiro beamed invitingly.

The boys seemed completely—thankfully—oblivious to the atmosphere between their parents as they rushed over to them on all fours.

You could cut the tension like a knife, thought Sakura. She was moving like a mummy, wrapped up so tightly that she was almost incapable of moving. Still, she gathered Jiro to her bosom and kissed him.

"How's my sweet little Taro doing? I've missed you so much," she snuggled her cheeks against Jiro's. All the while the real Taro looked at her mutinously. She continued to playfully scold Jiro. "I haven't seen you in so long. You've been a very neglectful baby. Mommy's hurt."

Looking confused, Jiro's eyes shone like tiny moons that fixed frowningly on her face. "Mommy?"

"Mommy?" she pretended to gush, watching Taro stew silently at her feet. "Did you hear that Neji? Taro called me mommy."

The Hyuuga threw back his head and his big booming laughter rang out. She was taunting the poor kid and he was absolutely livid about it.

"No Sackra!" Taro's mouth wobbled angrily. "Ji!"

She shook her head as a slow grin split her fair features. "What do you mean he's Jiro? I remember dressing you in that shirt this morning."

Taro gave an irritated shake of his head and clutched as fistful of his shirt beneath his chubby fingers. "No mine!" A choking sound came from him. "—beano."

"What has Ino got to do with anything?" she asked laughingly, tickling Jiro.

Gleeful childish laughter sounded from his brother and Taro scowled enviously. There was a white-hot blaze of outrage in his eyes when Sakura suggested that she took Taro out for ice-cream because it has been so long since she last saw him.

Jiro squealed and clapped. "Peas mommy?"

She nuzzled his nose with her own. "Of course Taro."

Suddenly, there was a cry. A cry so high, so thin, Neji stopped chuckling. For a second he said nothing. Then he spoke. "I don't think he knows you're pulling his leg."

"No Sackra! Me!" Taro's piping voice was shrill, hysterical. His eyes were huge in his little face, tears pouring down. "No Ji! Me!"

"Take Jiro," she deposited the bouncing boy in Neji's arms and bent to scoop up his fuming brother instead. Much to her surprise Taro crushed her against him, his tears drenching her neck. "Silly boy, I know you're Taro. It's not so fun being deceived is it?"

He held unto her as if he would never let her go.

"My Sackra?" There was a painful eagerness in his little voice that stabbed at her.

A sob racked through her when it dawned on her why Taro was really crying. On both occasions when she had showered him with affections, she had believed him to be Jiro or believed Jiro to be him. In a sense she had never truly shown him fondness. Now he was so starved for it, it made him resentful and jealous. And possessive?

"Your Sackra," she nodded, smoothing his dark hair gently. A heaviness of heart pressed on her. "Always your Sackra."

Neji's hand went to the small of her back to steered them out the room once he had completed the formalities necessary to sign out the twins. Sakura was oblivious to his touch—oblivious to everything except Taro's little arm clutching her neck so tightly it wrung her heart.

She had no idea how long it took them to reach the parking lot, she was too caught up playing with Taro, talking, and making him giggle as she blew gently on his obviously sensitive neck. Time didn't matter. Emotion choked her when he eventually laid his head down on her shoulders and sighed.

"My Sackra."

"My golden boy," she stroked his cheek and stared at the overbright eyes of her reflection in one of the spotless windows of Neji's car. "My Kintaro."

It felt like falling in love all over again.

Not with Hyuuga Neji or with any other man.

Rather with her almost year old son whose heart she had perhaps not put enough effort into trying to capture. All because Taro responded to Neji's attention with increasing confidence and pleasure yet all she got from him was grim hostility and condemnation.

Taro is apparently not the only jealous party, a voice mocked inside her head.

He could be just as was adorable as Jiro, she discovered—absolutely adorable. And it felt so good to cuddle him, so achingly right. She had wanted him to warm up to her for so long—so much so that she had been reluctant to relinquish him to Neji when the time came.

Neji gave her a thin smile and straightened to his impressive height after buckling Jiro into his car seat. "You two are getting along for a change."

"Toe-can," Jiro grouched, wrestling with the straps. "Me out!"

"Stay put, you'll be out of it before you know it," he raised a silencing finger at him.

The infant's high-pitched complaint was muted behind the closing door.

"Here, I'll strap Taro in," Neji offered. A couple long strides brought him to the other side of the car, standing directly in front of Sakura.

She felt slightly overpowered by his proximity as she looked up into that handsome face, and those silver eyes were relentless as he easily held her gaze. She swallowed hard. He was standing so close to her now she could feel the warmth of his body.

Sakura shook her head and gave him a startled look, having briefly forgotten both his and Jiro's presence, all of her attention focused on the baby she held in her arms.

"I've been doing this for almost a year. I think I know how to put a baby in a car seat," she pointed out ruefully, and Taro turned to grin at his father as his fingers toyed with a strand of her hair.

"He gets a little fussy when it comes to confinement." Neji informed her reprovingly and reached out to take the resisting boy from her.

Taro's happy gurgles instantly turned to cries of protest, "No daddy!"

Sakura reached up to untangle the tiny fingers from her hair. No easy feat when Taro seemed determined not to let go. "Perhaps I should travel in the back with them," she suggested huskily as Taro continued to grip. She took his warm little hand in hers and kissed it. "Are you trying to make mommy go bald?"

He giggled.

"Perhaps you should travel at back," Neji allowed wryly, relenting in his efforts to pry Taro from Sakura's arms.

"Ice daddy," the brat grinned at him over Sakura's shoulders.

Nice daddy.

Neji arched a brow at him, wondering how long this nice guy act of Taro's would really last. He stepped back and turned away. Seconds later the silence was being punctuated by the sound of her car door closing. Neji slid in behind the wheel and the engine purred into life as they reversed out of the parking space.

OoOoOoOo

Just as Sakura suspected he would, Taro started screaming the instant Neji escorted them to her apartment and turned to leave. He wrestled in her arms, reaching his own little ones up imploringly to his father. But Neji remained completely detached even as Jiro tugged on the foot of his trousers.

"Toe-can," the pearliness of his eyes were magnified by brimming tears, as he continued to huff on a sob, "Peas no!"

Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the way Neji stiffened and then bent to ruffle his hair. "I'm not welcomed here," his voice sound constricted for a moment then he recovered—just barely. "You don't want me beheaded do you?" he asked with a hard, humourless laugh.

Sakura snorted despite herself—despite the profound sadness that overwhelmed her. Never in her life had she seen any man look so desolate.

Taro's eyes widened with incredulous anger. "Daddy, no go."

"Don't hassle your mother," Neji turned his back to them.

Cold ran down his spine. Fingers of ice. His feet trod numbly. His whole body was numb. His mind was numb. He had wanted to talk to Sakura—had hoped she would've at least spared him an hour or so. He wanted to tell her.

The ice splintered in his spine, but the guilt was like gasoline in his guts. Tell her what?

His expression tightened. Sorry would not suffice. It would not bring back their daughter or unsay the things he had said to her.

Words burned into his consciousness—words that were acid on his soul. His insides died in its toxicity. The words he used to accuse her of an affair with the worthless Uchiha. The words he had thrown at her that hideous night she bared her soul out to him.

The words he used to destroy everything.

The guilt burnt him out so badly there was nothing left but a shell. He knew he did not deserve Sakura's love, but he clung to the hope that it could be restored. He needed absolution from her to be able to re-orientate to the world again. Her forgiveness would fill the void, would rebuild him anew.

But she didn't care about what he had to say. He had felt her revulsion coming at him the second their eyes clashed that crucial first time.

Neji drew himself up, needing to get this over with. He knew that Sakura must want to get as far away from him as she possibly could. "I'll see you later," he said to no one in particular.

"Daddy," Taro's noisy sobs echoed through the empty hallway. "Daddy."

His crying was both ferocious and noisy. Tears made wet tracks down his face and dripped from his chubby chin. His tiny hands opened and closed, rhythmically clenching as if there could be some violent solution to his pain if only he could find it.

"Daddy."

The plea slid a knife inside Sakura—then another one.

"Toe-can."

Her heart ached. She felt hollow inside. As if all love, all emotion, had been taken from her in a single blow.

"You're acting as if you won't ever see me again," Neji scolded lightly—laughingly.

Sakura watched his rigid back. His dark head was bowed, his shoulders shaking. A stab of pain squeezed her heart. It was never easy parting with the twins, even if it was just for a few days, their goodbyes were always overdramatic.

"Sackra," Taro tapped her shoulders furiously. "Daddy, no go."

"Peas, mommy," Jiro looked up at her.

Like a puppet pulled by an invisible string, she walked towards Neji. Whatever their differences, she hated to see her boys like this—Neji included.

"Neji."

She didn't realize she had said his name out loud. His head jerked up and for a second she glimpsed a look of such anguish, such suffering in his eyes that her issues with him were forgotten and she instinctively wanted to comfort him.

Comfort him for what? She didn't know.

"Taro will tear this house apart if you leave," she stopped a foot away from him, compassion stirring within her, filling her with a tenderness she'd never expected to feel again for this hard, ruthless man. "Why don't you come on in for a little while? I'll feed him and let him take a nap. You can leave after he falls asleep."

"You know he won't," he said musingly, almost as though he was talking to himself. "If anything he'll stay awake to see to it that I don't leave."

"Maybe we can talk," she encouraged. But there was a hesitation about her—something he was not used to seeing.

She sounded so remote—as if the very thought of what she was proposing grieved her. He opened his mouth, her name forming on his lips.

"Neji."

Her voice came before his. His name. Clipped, pronounced.

For a few seconds after that she was silent. Then her eyes went to his. There was no expression in them.

"You wanted to go grab a bite, didn't you? I'll make us something to eat."

He heard the words. They were flatly spoken. For a strange, dissociated moment he did not understand them. Then she was talking again.

"You like seafood don't you?"

Neji was standing there. Just standing there. Everything around him seemed to have gone into immense slow motion. As if it was not there. Was not there at all.

It wasn't exactly an invitation, but he'd take it.

The overwhelming temptation was to retreat into his shell and pretend that nothing hurt him. But now he realized that hiding his feelings had led Sakura to believe he didn't love her.

He had to go for broke. She needed to know—needed to believe—how deep his feelings were, even if that meant risking her contempt and rejection. Again and again.

It was an unnerving prospect. Nothing he had done so far—concealing his misery at his uncle's/father's illness, dealing with the news of Hiashi's parentage and suppressing his longing for love and freedom—had been as hard as this.

But he loved Sakura with all his heart. Misguided though it might be, he harboured a fancy in the back of his mind that if he persevered they could be a family again—a real family.

It was worth the try, worth the risk of being hurt.

Her lips pressed together, as if in irritation. "You may have to give me a hand," her voice still had that strange clipped quality to it but there was a ghost of a smile on her lips. "I know how picky you are and I'm trying out a new recipe."

"Will it be another one of those lethal experimental dishes you're famous for?" he teased, not unkindly.

Sakura scowled and returned to the door, holding open for him.

"Daddy," Taro had not moved an iota from where she had released him onto the floor. His eyes rested on Neji expectantly. "Daddy."

There was an eruption of triumph giggles when Neji finally entered the apartment. It grew to an earsplitting pitch when Sakura left the trio in the living room to go unpack her groceries.

"Toe-can! Toe-can!"

"I think we might have an artist in the family," she heard Neji roar with laughter.

No doubt Jiro was showing him his scrapbook; a collection of colourful strokes and curves done with his crayons and markers. Some of the pages were terribly wrinkled from the times he and Taro had fought over the book but it was still the most prefect thing to have graced their bookshelves.

"Daddy!" Taro called, making vroming noises. He was more than likely pushing a toy car around on the carpet.

He smashed it against something and usually Sakura would rush out at the sound but today the noise was awfully comforting. And yet, strangely, she felt—of all things—her throat constrict and tears start in her eyes.

Neji was good with the twins—so good. The evidence could not be denied. Around them he was full of fun, laughter and, most piercingly painful of all, affection. And she knew, with a deep hollowing of her stomach, full of love. Love for Taro and Jiro. His sons.

And they loved him, too. She could see that—could not deny it. And how should it not be? He was a father any child would adore.

But damn it, why did he have to be the father of hers?

Inside, emotions warred. She didn't know what she wanted. Everything back to the way it once was?

Heavens no!

That'd be hell, yes?

Out of everything in this nightmare that was the last, the very last thing she must think about. Once, so pathetically, she had thought they could make things work—that despite the circumstances, their marriage could've had some semblance of semi-normalcy. But in one callous utterance he had ripped that pathetic hope from her.

Was it genuine remorse that Neji felt or were his latest antics simply an act out of the need to rid himself of a guilty conscience? She wondered, turning on the kettle to make herself a cup of instant coffee.

Out in the living room she heard the television set boom into life. Sakura resigned to sitting by the scrubbed pine table and cradle her warm mug in her hands. If she went back in there now she would only be reminded of the things she missed. There was just something so nostalgic about watching cartoons together—about watching cartoons, full stop.

Why was she torturing herself like this?

Throw Neji out of your house, a voice urged.

It's the only way to restore her equilibrium.

But she couldn't, not after realizing that other than her own, she had never put anyone's feelings first. For months she trivialized Taro and Jiro's happiness. She had robbed them of it because their happiness and her despair were not inseparable. They came from the same source. Hyuuga Neji.

It was not fair to either party but she would just have to cope with the reality that while Neji was her past, he was Taro and Jiro's present and eventual future.

"Toe-can!" she heard Jiro's sudden gasp.

Neji chuckled, "It caught Taro the first time he saw it too."

"No!" the denial was followed by its usual fierce gibberish.

Sakura chortled to herself, taking occasional sips as she reviewed the sorry mess of her life. She cringed with shame at the naïve, useless girl she had been when Neji first suggested marriage. She had been willing to give up everything, even her friendship with Ino.

She fell out of contact and touch with everyone—everything. And that was when Neji started to become her everyone—her everything. But she had only been fooling herself. He was nothing.

For months she had hated him, but soon realized that such an emotion was wasted on him; the man was not worth hating.

Or maybe he was.

The cynic in her argued that while Neji wasn't a man worth hating, he wasn't worth loving either. But that forlorn part of her saw him as a man who didn't know the true worth of loving. And that part of her—that incredibly stupid, ridiculously stupid part of her—still wanted to teach him.

She sighed and reached into her bread basket. Their spongy surfaces were still warm, their smell absolutely fresh and promising a delightful taste. Her stomach growled and she casted wary eyes on the ingredients she had laid out for usage. For some strange reason she didn't want to disturb Neji while he bonded with the boys but for some stranger reason, she didn't want to attempt the cooking without him.

Fetching a knife, she applied copious amounts of butter and spooned out a dollop of blackberry jelly. Then she leaned back in her seat and ripped off a chunk of the bread, stuffing the piece into her mouth.

"Hmmm…"

It was soft and warm. The pleasant smoothness of the butter blended perfectly with the bitter-sweet taste of blackberries.

"I see you've not lost your appetite for strange food."

Sakura jolted in her chair and almost choked. She whipped her head around, fixing Neji an accusing glare. "You startled me, Hyuuga."

His grim smile unnerved her. "I'm sorry. I thought you might like a hand."

She inhaled sharply. Those white eyes. They still seemed to see right through her. To strip her bare with their stark intensity.

Her stomach hollowed at the sight of him. The way it always did—every time she saw him. She quelled it. There was no point in that.

"I needed a hand half an hour ago but you were busy frolicking with the twins," she shot him a glance but she didn't look bitter, just amused. "Speak of the little devils."

In they came, trailing behind Neji.

"Daddy! Sackra!" Taro gestured with his hand for them to come to him.

"Mommy and daddy can't play right now muffin," her smile shifted from apologetic to awkward the moment she realized what she had said. To be frank, she said nothing wrong. The words just rang a little foreign to her ears. "Maybe later."

"Peas," he insisted with a pout.

Neji could not deny that pout.

"I'm not really that hungry," he confessed, sweeping Taro up in his arms. "Come on, let's see what he has in mind."

Like an automan she followed them out into the living room, not sure why.

At first, Sakura and Neji were a little strained and false when they all joined Jiro. Their chatter was ridiculously bright, bordering on the inane. But soon they were both caught up in their love for the twins and the fun of seeing the world through their eyes.

"Sackra," Taro grinned cajolingly, presenting her with one of their educational books. "Nanana?"

Banana.

It was the only word she understood from his enthusiastic jabber. She blinked blankly at her baby and despite her best efforts had to turn to Neji for some sort of translation.

"He wants you to show him the picture of the banana," he explained, turning to Jiro who was yet again proudly showing Neji another one of his 'drawings'. "You have to show these to Aunt Hanabi, she'll love them."

He nodded in agreement and continued to skip carefully through the pages. It was in complete contrast to how Taro treated his books. Neji only hoped it was not an indication of how he'd behave towards school in the near future. The little mite was already showing signs of believing he knew everything and didn't like to be corrected or reprimanded. But he apparently enjoyed scolding and correcting others, Neji thought, watching Taro punishingly pulled on Sakura's hair for not pointing at the correct picture.

Haughtiness.

It was Hyuuga-hereditary.

"Ouch," she pretended to sob.

He blanched.

Sakura tugged vengefully on his little nose. "You're a strict teacher, aren't you?"

He gave a cursory shake of his dark head. "No, Sackra wopid."

"I'm stupid?" There was a spark of gaiety from the pinkette. "You're the one with the terrible English. I need a translator just to understand you."

Taro tapped impatiently on the book. Sakura took it as an indication that he'd like for the roles in the game to be switched.

"Okay smarty-pants, show me the pineapple." Green eyes followed his tiny fingers across the pages. "Wow, you're really better at this than I am," she ruffled his hair as a swell of pride filled her. "Show me the strawberry."

"Mommy," Jiro opened another book to a page showing a happy nuclear family, sitting having a meal around a table, with a baby.

It wasn't a book Sakura liked—because of the nuclear family—but Jiro had chosen it because it included a scene where the toddler was playing with a very impressive toy ship.

Taro's eyes widened in fascination but then he frowned. His stubby finger pointed at each person in the illustration. "Daddy. Sackra. Me." He looked at Neji. "Ji?"

His was incredibly—impossibly sharp, Sakura marveled. Essentially he was acknowledging that there was another baby missing from the picture of the family but he was not that baby.

She decided to taunt him. "No one said that was you."

"Me!" Jiro pointed at the baby in agreement.

"No," Taro huffed, looking at Neji once more for support. "Me."

From that moment they gradually they grew more natural and spontaneous in their reactions and the atmosphere between them eased.

The man threw back his head and laughed, Sakura felt her stomach clench unbearably and knew the truth that terrified her.

She still wanted Hyuuga Neji.

Whatever he had done to her—she still wanted him.

Wanted what no one else could give her and their children, but him.

Completion.

OoOoOoOo

By nightfall, her emotions were in a tangle. Sakura had loved every minute of her time with Neji and their beloved babies. She wished it could be like this all the time because in this make-believe world there were no nightmares, no loss and no lack of love.

Instead, there was fun, laughter and affection. And lovely silly games, she thought in amusement as Neji plotted to 'capture Sackra' with Taro, and began to stalk towards her menacingly.

"Jiro save me," she squealed. "Come be mommy's white knight!"

She had let her hair down, literally, and her pink mane streamed out behind her as she ran through the hall with Neji and a delighted Taro in hot pursuit. Jiro scampered close behind, determined to rescue his mommy.

"Beehive!" he implored his father and brother, on the verge of tears. "Beehive!"

Sakura pretended to trip over her own foot and allowed herself to be caught. They all collapsed in a laughing heap on the floor. Except for Jiro, he flung his arms around her neck and sobbed.

"It's okay muffin. I wasn't in any danger," she tried to placate him, tenderly kissing his face. "It was just a game."

"Sackra pretty," Taro said proudly, looking to his father for confirmation.

For one long, agonizing moment there was silence in which neither one of them realized Taro had said an actual word.

"Of course—" Neji agreed in a low tone, though Sakura didn't dare look at him. His voice was seductive enough. "—we Hyuugas have impeccable taste, you know?"

It was then that she looked over at him with those huge green eyes, her cheeks flushed, her lips slightly parted.

As if waiting for his kiss, Jiro must've thought because he demanded, "Kiss mommy."

Another silence heavy with tension stretched out between them. And yet again, it slipped by them both that an actual word was said. That was until Taro decided to assist his brother,

"Kiss daddy!" he told her, his face puckering anxiously.

Sakura's breath was crushed from her lungs. She hesitated, her eyes flicking to Neji and gave a silent, inaudible, breathless scream inside her head. Did the brat even know what a kiss was?

"Kiss daddy, Sackra."

"Why don't you kiss daddy, Taro?" she suggested dryly, rolling her eyes.

And he did.

He leaned forward and briefly kissed Neji on the cheek. Then his chin rose up challengingly. "Kiss daddy."

Her face had first flushed, and then paled. Then blanked. She would be taking in the twins for an examination on Monday. There was just something so unnatural about their level of comprehension.

"Kiss."

"Kiss."

They kept at it until Neji surrendered and hastily pressed his lips against hers before rising to his feet and hauling Taro into his arms. "I think it's time they were fed, showered and put to bed."

Sakura blinked a moment and imagined that his mouth lingered a little on hers but then it was gone before she got around to feeling the pressure of it, leaving her feeling very shaky. And precariously…empty?

"I agree." she declared breathily.

Something passed between them, a kind of instinctive communication that made her feel good. It seemed that her hostility towards Neji melted away after an afternoon and evening of sheer fun. Children she thought, could reach parts that nothing else can. And her hopes lifted several notches.

"I bet Jiro and I will make it to the kitchen first," she announced slyly—taunting Taro, as always—and hoisted his brother up unto her hip.

"No!" his face was sweetly earnest in his determination. "Go daddy!"

Laughing she started after them. Taro's triumphant face swam into her vision when she entered the kitchen. The arrogant brat was acting like he did the actual running.

"Maybe we have an athlete in family," she praised, her voice shaky with the depths that her love could reach. "An athlete and artist."

"Aye," Jiro cheered as she settled him in his highchair.

"Yes, Ji. We're the 'A' team."

A huge kiss was deposited clumsily on her forehead and then small palms cupped her cheeks. "Pretty mommy!"

It was as if a band of iron was squeezing her heart.

"My Sackra!"

"You keep saying that like she's your wife," Neji pinched his cheek.

Sakura snickered. These three. They were the ones she loved above everyone else. And she wanted their love more than anything else in the entire world.

"Sakura," Neji looked at her, his eyes like weights, pressing into her. "We still have to talk."

She felt silent again, her chest painful. Then she shrugged negligently. "Some other time Neji, you might just end up ruining my day," her voice was a raw rasp. "The twins will have their formula. They can have some of what we're going to make if it's edible after we've finished.

Once Taro and Jiro were contently sucking on their bottles Sakura went about chopping broccoli and bok choy. "Ino and I went out for dinner the other night—" she explained awkwardly, not knowing what else to use to try and make conversation with. "—and I ordered this dish."

Neji tailed and deveined some shrimp, sprinkling them with pepper sauce. "I didn't know that you liked seafood as well."

Her face stilled. There was something very strange in her eyes. Very strange indeed. He couldn't tell what it was. "There are a lot of things about me you didn't care to take notice of, Neji."

"That's where you're wrong Sakura," he said.

Her eyes flared. "Wrong?" she jeered bitterly.

His face was sombre. "I acted indifferent to you because I had to. I had to keep my sanity—to keep myself safe. I was facing the greatest danger I had ever been in and I was scared." His jaw tightened. His eyes rested on her. "You think I am every kind of villain; you might as well know I'm also a coward."

She looked up at him in surprise, and shivered at the emptiness she saw in his eyes. But there was one faint, impossible fragment.

He whipped garlic, scallions and ginger together with aromatic sesame oil and soy sauce in a bowl. His forearms held steady and his wrist moved in a practiced rhythmic motion that appeared to be second nature.

He looked so home, she mused.

She felt her heart turn slowly over. "Scared of what exactly?"

His head snapped up. Rather than answer right away he turned and tossed the mixture into the wok where it burst into a rush of sound and steam.

Taro and Jiro giggled and kicked in excitement.

Sakura went ahead and scraped the chopped vegetables into the sizzling oil.

"Scared of what, Neji?" she repeated.

He turned and stared at her then, their hips almost touching by the stove. "I was afraid of letting you get too close." He picked up the bowl of shrimp and tossed them with a fork. "I fought tirelessly to keep you out and I did to some extent. But when I realized you were really gone, I realized something else."

His eyes were still on her.

"Neji—" It was a breath. A hope. A hope she tried to abandon.

"I realized," he said, and each word fell from him like a weight, "I would have given anything in the world to have you back." He dropped the shrimp into the wok where they crackled and spat. "That kind of pain cannot be taken away by time, Sakura. Trying not to feel this way for four months only intensified the feeling."

"I left because I had a valid reason to, not because I wanted you to chase after me," she reminded him, her voice very faint.

He stirred the wok and steam billowed high in the air. "Can you pass me the noodles?"

Their fingers touched as she handed him the colander, sparking a shimmer of awareness. He stirred the cooked noodles into the mix, and then transferred the fragrant stir-fry into two large bowls.

"I wanted it to be for that reason, Sakura. I wanted it to be for any reason that meant you never truly wanted to leave in the first place. That you wanted me to come after you." He breathed in harshly, spoke harshly. "That you truly did feel love for me. Then—when I did come after you, Uchiha was—" His eyes went to her, hard, unforgiving. "—it doesn't matter. Earlier I said I didn't want forgiveness but if you forgive me for nothing else Sakura, please forgive me for what I said to you then. For all that I thought of you so wrongly."

She shut her eyes, then opened them again. "You're not making any sense."

The sombre look was in his eyes again.

"I was angry with you because by walking away you forced me to live with the choice I'd made. The decision I made to play safe. And by playing it safe I lost what I most wanted." He took another harsh breath. "You, Sakura. That's what I wanted. You."

"Why?" It was all she said—all she could say.

Something moved in his eyes.

"Why?" His voice changed. "Why?" he echoed. "Because I wanted you there with me. Always and forever, and it scared me. I'd never wanted that before. Never. Not with any woman. Not even with you until I realized, that day we lost our baby, that you had become important to me. And it scared me—scared me senseless—because I had never felt anything like that before, because it made me feel afraid and out of control."

Sakura swallowed. Her throat hurt. Her body hurt. Everywhere in her whole being hurt. One numb legs she carried their bowls and chopsticks into the table. She would've made plates for the twins and allowed them to feed themselves but she knew they would only make a mess of the place with the noodles.

"I was a fool," Neji said heavily as he sat down. "I made the wrong call. And because of that I lost you. And I lost the daughter you were carrying."

She peered at him over the rim of her glass and took a sip of her water. She could not speak, could only whisper. "Please just stop talking Neji."

His gaze shot to her again, holding her like rods of fire. But then he pulled Jiro's chair close to his and expertly lifted noodles to the baby's mouth with his chopsticks.

"Yum-yum toe-can," he praised between chews.

Sakura gathered some noodles between her own chopsticks and fed Taro. "Cowardice doesn't excuse any of what you did. And in any case you seem to be pointing fingers at me for what you're now apparently going through."

"Hell?" he supplied with brutal honesty.

For a long timeless moment she was held still, letting the words enter her mind. Emotion swelled in her like a wave.

She shook her head. His face was blurring. "Why is our current situation hell for you when you singlehandedly created it yourself?" her voice was strained.

"I thought I made that obvious," his voice changed, and she could hear the pain in it. Then it grew shaken and vehement. "I've wronged you so much, Sakura. I've been a monster to you but I would like to make amends." He breathed deeply, a new determination stiffening his spine. "I want us to start over."

Start over.

She replayed the entire exchange in her head later as she stood in the bathroom watching Neji check the temperature of the water gushing from the tap.

Start over.

It was what she wanted—needed. Yet, she couldn't allow herself to. His spluttered confession had not resolved any of their issues or changed much. As filled as she was with hope, she knew that hope had not been in anticipation of a future together.

"I have to know something," she looked at him from beneath lowered lashes, her mouth hardened. Jealousy sharp as a stiletto pierced her heart as she recalled those numerous afternoons both him and their boys came home reeking of perfume and covered in lipstick. "Who was that woman you kept taking the twins to see?"

There was light of challenge in her eyes, her cheeks slightly flushed. With temper rather than anything else, he thought.

His response struck her dumb. "Your mother."

Sakura swallowed hard, trying to fight down the nausea. "What?"

"But you thought it was someone else, didn't you? A mistress? I've never outrightly accused you of infidelity, Sakura. I simply did not like the idea of another man being around my sons," he confided, then added, his silver eyes narrowed on her flushed, rebellious face. "You, on the other hand, were quick to condemn me of having an affair when all I was doing was trying to get to know my in-laws. I knew you had a low opinion of me, with some justification, but so low?"

"The pits—" she confirmed curtly.

She caught a flash of anger in his eyes before he closed them for a second. When he next looked at her his expression was bland, no trace of any emotion visible.

"—at the time." She gave a pained frown, her face stark and stretched. "Why didn't you just tell me the truth? That's all you had to do." It was all she could think about. It blotted out everything. "Why did you let me say all those things to you?"

"Because I deserved every single horrible thing you could hurl at me," his eyes lasered hers and she felt their force drilling through her. "I don't think you realize, Sakura—" he reached out to cradle the side of her face with his hand when she knelt next to him by the tub. He stared deeply into her eyes, those deep green eyes that had haunted his dreams for months. "—how sorry I am for all the tears you shed because of me. You were everything to me," he breathed, his heart beating erratically in his chest. "I didn't realize it until you were gone," he told her intensely. "It is impossible to express what I feel in words."

She stared at him—barely breathing, not moving, refusing to believe what he was saying to her.

"What you feel?" she finally managed chokingly. "Guilt?"

"Not just guilt, Sakura. Shame. Self-pity. But above all else—love," he assured her firmly. "I know how difficult that must be for you to believe after the way I behaved—but, yes, I loved you. It was because I loved you that I had to let you go." He groaned at the memory. "I had hurt you enough and I deserved to lose you. But can you give me a chance to right things?" he pressed intently.

"But…but…I can't—" she was totally thrown—couldn't believe that Neji was actually telling her he had loved her all those months ago when he treated her like shit.

All this talk of love, she had thought was guilt induced.

"You cannot forgive me for the way I behaved," he acknowledged heavily, removing his hand. "And why should you?" he gave a bitter little laugh and wrestled to get Jiro out of his clothes.

Neither of the twins was being cooperative. Sakura supposed they figured bath-time signaled their father's imminent departure.

"Whose stinky baby is this? Surely this stinky baby can't be Sackra's," she tickled Taro's tummy but was firmly pushed away.

"No!" he insisted.

I love you so much, she thought, watching in fond amusement as he fought his way back into his clothes. She glanced at Neji and her heart stopped for a moment. There was such adoration in his eyes for the brat that it brought her near to tears. Then he turned to her, lightly touching her arm as if to say he felt he same about her.

Her heart raced. Any minute now she'd wake up and know that this day had all been a dream.

To seemingly encourage her, he psyched himself up to slip his arm around her waist while she assessed the bath water with an expert eye. "Is it deep enough?"

He kept staring at her. Like they were lovers, she mused. Her brain, heart and stomach were doing somersaults.

"Deeper than you know," he replied softly.

"Up!" demanded Jiro, pushing his wiry, naked body between them, and Neji let out a hiss of breath then lifted him into the bath.

In went in Taro shortly after, splashing water all over them.

She wasn't sure what was happening to her—or to Neji. But she did know their sons were having fun and she and Neji were trying to get soap onto the wriggling boys as they enthusiastically propelled their rubber duckies around the choppy bath water.

There was a knock on the door and, just as she planted a kiss on Jiro's merry mop of curls, Naruto stepped into the bathroom.

"Oui Sakura-chan," he greeted. Then his eyes kindled at the sight of Taro and Jiro, drowning each other's duckies. He grinned. "Oh look, it's the android twins."

Taro waved him off insolently. "No Ji!" he protested when his brother took advantage of his momentary distraction to craftily sit on his duck. "Daddy! Ji bad!" he cried.

Jiro collapsed into a heap of giggles.

"You're a sneaky one aren't you?" Sakura kissed his neck enthusiastically and elicited squeals from him with her fake nibbles of his shoulder. "Give me a high-five."

Naruto cleared his throat.

"Sorry," she chirped. "I didn't know you were back. What are you doing here?"

Crystalline blue eyes set in a face of granite fell on the Hyuuga. "Sakura-chan, what is he doing here?" he asked in a low tone.

A faint flush coloured Neji carved cheekbones and he shifted uncomfortably, relinquishing his hold from around Sakura's waist. "Naruto," he acknowledged politely.

The blond's scowl deepened and in return he greeted Neji with, "Bastard."

The scorn in his tone made him feel as if he'd had a cold shower sprayed over him. "Your vocabulary is just as colourful as ever."

Naruto's mouth thinned. There was a long pause, "I'll gripe you about this later," he snarled at Sakura, still looking at Neji with an expression of utter dislike. "What happened to your phone?"

"My phone?" She asked, a little puzzled.

"Granny said she has been trying to reach you since noon. Sasuke and Tenten met in a car accident earlier. It's all over the news. A delivery truck swerved out of control on the highway and hit two incoming cars in a three-way head-on collision. One of those incoming vehicles was Sasuke's."

"Accident?" Suddenly she was rigid with tension, hanging on his next words.

"There was an explosion," he informed her grimly. "Then another."

"Oh my god," she cried. Her mind whirled. The tears she felt pricking at her eyes earlier fell unheeded down her cheeks now, albeit for a completely different kind of feeling.

All the strength left her legs and for a horrible moment she thought she was going to faint.

"Fortunately Teme's car had been travelling so fast it plowed into the burning wrecks, flipped over and continued, screeching along the highway and away from the flames. They were the only survivors." His breath left him in a long, shaky sigh. "But—"

Her heart bounded with hope.

"—Tenten is in critical condition."

Neji rose to his feet immediately. It was as though someone had stuck a knife in his chest and sliced everything within it into tiny pieces. "What?"

Taro and Jiro went quiet, chorusing curiously, "Coco?"

"Sasuke is conscious though, just barely." Naruto said, as if it was any consolation. "He has been asking for you, Sakura-chan. I think—"

She was out the door before he could finish.

OoOoOoOo

"I need your car keys Neji," Sakura demanded jerkily.

She was already dressed and clutching her handbag by the time he and Naruto emerged from the bathroom with the twins.

"Mommy!" Jiro cried in horror.

"Sackra!" Taro shook his head furiously at her.

She closed her eyes briefly, a nerve pulsing in the pallor of her tightly clenched jaw as she finally looked across at them. Two small flushed faces peeked out from the towels that enveloped their tiny frames.

Her mouth twisted humourlessly as she repeated Neji's earlier words. "You're acting as if you won't ever see me again."

Neji's eyes flickered with an emotion that he quickly masked. He had only ever seen Sakura this riled up when it came to Sasuke. It unsettled him.

"I'm not letting you drive my car in this state."

The emerald eyes blazed. "Spare me the cheap excuses," she snapped. "You just don't want me to see him."

He looked at her closely. "What?"

"That's it isn't it?" she abruptly turned her back on him. He could see that she was shaking with anger. "He's on his deathbed and you're still being petty." There was a pause. The atmosphere was electric with tension and Neji couldn't speak for misery filled his throat with a hard, hurting pain. "Keep your damn car. I'm taking a cab," she clipped and stormed through the front door.

With a slow, painful exhalation Neji understood. His battered mind had fastened on to the single phrase that made sense to him. Being petty.

Was he being petty?

Pettiness was not something that had ever been part of his nature—he had never cared enough for any woman to be concerned or otherwise vindictive if she did something he objected to. But Sakura was different. He loved her. And he was painfully aware of her past romantic interest in Sasuke.

"Go after her. Don't take it personally. She never thinks straight when it comes to Sasuke," Naruto dispossessed him of Taro and nudged him in the side. "I'll watch the androids. Their batteries are on low so they shouldn't be too much trouble."

The slap Taro gave him across his head and Jiro's crack of laughter begged to defer.

Neji was breathless by the time he ran down the endless flight of stairs. He had lost his patience waiting for the lift and thought it best to put the strange adrenaline that filled him to use. Once he exited the building he drew a deep, refreshing breath of the cool night air and expelled it in a sigh.

Sakura was nowhere to be seen.

A slight wind was in the air and he shivered in his damp jeans—courtesy of Taro and Jiro—as he gazed up at a billion twinkling stars in the vast, dark canopy of the heavens.

Truth be told, it bothered him immensely that she was able to drop everything like that without hesitance at the mention of Sasuke's name. He understood that in the face of tragedy it was the normal way for people to respond. And yet there was just something about the way Sakura responded to the news that filled Neji with sadness—not for Sasuke, not for Sakura. Rather for himself.

His heart sunk as heavy as lead.

He was fighting a losing battle, he knew. She hadn't breathed even a word about forgiving him.

The gate to the property was automatically closing when Neji got to it. He quickly slipped through and unto the dark streets. He stopped, as his eyes caught a flash of pink, barely twenty feet away. As he watched the shadow take shape, he recognized Sakura.

He walked briskly towards her, through the shadows casted by trees. They were starkly outlined by the ghostly light of a clear crescent moon. Beautiful as the night was, something dark and foreboding hung over its head.

What? Neji didn't know and didn't wish to find out—

"What are you doing here, Neji?" She sounded as if she could hardly spit out the name.

Her green eyes were smeared, lashes clogged, her face blotched with crying, and her nose was red. She looked awful. She looked the most precious sight in the world to him.

—but he would.

Seconds later the sound of screeching tires pierced the silence as a vehicle bent the corner with another at its tail.

Sakura had had her back to them and there was no warning to be heeded from their bright headlights because there were none. The one at front was coming at high speed.

There was no way to avoid it.

His mind started to fail, like an engine that turned over and over, never kicking into action. But his heart lurched painfully in his chest; a reminder that fear wasn't supposed to shut you down, it was suppose to wake you up. And on the edge of panic Neji found himself rushing towards Sakura and gruffly shoving her out the way.

Then at long last he jumped. His body hit the hood of the car and he groaned. While suspended in midair, he caught sight of Sakura lying to the side of the road—slightly bruised but fine.

His torso and head smashed up against the windshield as he while his arms and legs searched for somewhere to hold on to—something stop the forward movement of his body.

There was an explosion, noise, destruction and chaos.

When Sakura came back to her senses she felt a weight over her, it was Neji. He felt heavy, heavier than usual and his body was cold, still and silent and a bloody mess above her. He took the full impact of the car and saved her life.

Horror drenched through her.

Claws pincered in her stomach, "Oh god Neji."

Just before everything stopped for Neji there was only the sound of Sakura screaming.

It was the kind of scream that made his blood run cold. A scream of hysteria and disbelief—of terror.

He only hoped that in death, she would grant him the absolution he sought from her.

Action spoke louder than words after all, and though he could think of a million better ways of showing her that he truly loved her, this would have to do.

A/N: Well there you have it. I'd like to think there was some kind of progress in this chapter...I mean...there was so much fluff (o.O) My idea of fluff at least lmao. Free to check out my NejiSaku one shot collection entitled "Forbidden Indulgences" It will mostly contain humour but I am taking prompts :)

Again, I apologize for the ridiculously late update. Thank you for reading. Hmm, the million dollar question is whether or not there would be redemption in death for Neji? Please review, they are like protein to my malnourished muse xD Come on, a 12k worded update...I at least deserve to know if it was worth the wait ;)