OMAKE. Six months later.

"I'm so nervous, I've never been to a ninja village before. And what if he doesn't recognize me? He can't have forgotten me, right?"

Gaara stared at the petite blond beside him blankly. Kankurō whacked the boy over the head with the arm of the puppet he was fixing. "If you hadn't noticed, you live in a ninja village. And Suna is far superior to Konoha."

Nayamashii rubbed his head and stuck out his bottom lip. "Why are you always so mean to me, Kuro-kun?"

"Kakashi-san has the equivalent of a photographic memory. He couldn't forget you even if he wanted to," Gaara said.

Kankurō sniggered.

Ya-chan turned watery eyes on Gaara. "Now you're being mean to me too."

Gaara frowned. "I am just stating a fact."

"Meanly." Ya-chan pouted.

"Why does this idiot civilian have to come with us anyway," Kankurō complained. "Are we just trying to get rid of him? I wouldn't mind the journey so much if we're planning on leaving him in Konoha."

"Nayamashii-san is welcome to stay in Sunagakure for as long as he likes," Gaara said, eyes on the bumpy path ahead. They were travelling by carriage, because with Ya-chan in tow it was much faster and less tiring than walking. Temari had stayed behind to watch over Suna in his absence, though she'd seemed strangely reluctant to do so.

Ya-chan stuck out his tongue at Kankurō, then drew it in quickly. What was happening to him? Since meeting Kakashi, and particularly since he'd started living with Norio-san, it was like his personality had done a 180. Living with someone who cared about him and was always there to chastise him for his wrongdoings and praise him for his achievements was a totally new experience, and it hadn't taken him long to become utterly spoilt. Norio doted on him like a younger brother, and after a couple of weeks of pushing boundaries he'd grown to bask in the attention.

Seductive Nayamashii was no longer needed to survive (though he did sneak out some nights when Norio was snoring off the effects of too many beers, and he'd found a couple of attractive nighttime playmates) and he'd become somewhat accustomed to being babied. He'd have to fix that before meeting Kakashi again if he wanted the tall man to take him seriously.

"Finally," Kankurō moaned, spotting the formidable walls of Konoha through a gap in the trees. "Can we make this thing go a little faster?"

"Patience," Gaara said calmly.

"Why do you want to get there so fast anyway?" Ya-chan asked, leaning towards him. "You got a giiiiirlfriend?"

Kankurō glared at him. "All I want is to get away from you, you annoying brat."

Ya-chan fluttered his eyelashes. "Are you sure you don't just like me?"

"In your dreams." Kankurō scowled.

"And what beautiful dreams they are." Ya-chan sighed wistfully. "Your handsome, toned chest glistening with oil, pants pulled down past your hips as you thrust sexily –" he choked, his mouth suddenly full of sand.

"I don't need to hear any more of that," Gaara said expressionlessly.

Ya-chan coughed, spitting the last of the sand from his mouth. "I was just kidding. You're not my type, Kuro-kun. Kakashi-san, though…"

"Kakashi-san?" Kankurō's eyebrows shot past his hairline. "Now you're really dreaming."

"Hey, he fucked me before. I bet I can get him to do it again," Ya-chan said defensively.

Kankurō looked horrified. Gaara turned to him seriously. "I let you come here because I thought you were aware that he will not touch you. Do not pursue Kakashi-san in that way."

Ya-chan pouted. "Do you really think I have that little appeal?"

"It's not about appeal." Gaara stared down at his hands. "When a person is as powerful as Kakashi-san they are constantly afraid they will hurt the people they care about. He would be a fool to keep a mere civilian by his side. You are too much of a weakness."

"Well, I could train," Ya-chan said defiantly, missing the pity-filled glance Kankurō shot his younger brother.

"No amount of training will help you to match Kakashi-san's skill," Kankurō said, no mocking lilt to his voice this time. "Even I could never match up to him."

Ya-chan turned his back on him, sulking.

"Welcome, Suna Shinobi. Do you have a village pass?"

Gaara stepped down from the carriage. "Oh! Kazekage-sama." The harried ninja on gate duty bowed hurriedly, sweating nervously. "M-may I have the details of your entourage? I-if that's alright."

Gaara nodded shortly in return, and Kankurō stepped forward to write his name in the ledger. He beckoned to Ya-chan, who peered over his shoulder curiously.

Ya-chan yelped as Kankurō took a chunk out of his thumb, pressing it down hard on the page. Gaara stared at them disapprovingly. "You did not have to use that much force, Kankurō."

"Yeah, yeah. Can we go in now?"

The gate duty ninja looked like he'd rather be anywhere else. "I just have to cast a t-tracking jutsu on you both," he stuttered.

Kankurō glared at him, making him twitch, but stayed still while the jutsu was cast. Ya-chan watched the man's hands with interest. He'd never seen anyone cast jutsu before. The magic felt warm, and made his body tingle.

The gate ninja bowed again. "Welcome to Konohagakure, Kazekage-sama, Sunagakure Shinobi."

"He called me a shinobi," Ya-chan whispered to Kankurō.

Kankurō rolled his eyes. "You'd be lucky. You've got virtually no chakra."

"If you would wait a little, I shall page the missions office to send someone to guide you and welcome you properly," the gate ninja said, his words tripping over each other in their hurry out of his mouth.

Gaara dipped his head an inch. "That would be fine."

Ya-chan watched with interest as the gate ninja scurried back to his post, nursing his thumb. "Are you really that powerful, Gaara-san? I mean, I know you're a village leader and all, but that guy looked like you were going to eat him."

Gaara seemed to stare straight through him with his solemn, dark-ringed eyes. "I have been known to do that."

Ya-chan screwed up his nose. "What, eat people? Gross."

"It's not exactly me who eats people, but it might as well be. Most people have good reason to be afraid of me."

"Here comes our guide," Kankurō interrupted.

Ya-chan studied the man who was walking towards them with great disappointment. He'd been hoping for Kakashi, though if he really was as powerful as Gaara said there was only a tiny chance he'd be given a job like this. Instead, they got this unremarkable man, with dark hair, dark skin, dark eyes and a pale scar slashing his face in half horizontally. Ya-chan sighed. Was it too much to at least hope for a little bit of eye candy?

The man bowed deeply, his ponytail bobbing comically. "Kazekage-sama, Kankurō-san, and?" He turned to look at Ya-chan, a quizzical expression on his face.

"Nayamashii," Gaara supplied.

"Nayamashii-san," the man said. "That's an interesting name."

Ya-chan wrinkled his nose. He didn't want to hear that from this plain guy.

"I am Umino Iruka."

"Umino Iruka?" Gaara repeated, frowning.

Ya-chan frowned too. He was almost certain he'd heard that name before.

"Yes?" Iruka gave a polite smile.

Gaara stared at him. "You are the Iruka-sensei that is Naruto's precious person?"

Iruka looked surprised, and then a warm, genuine smile spread across his face. "I guess I am, yes. Naruto-kun is like a younger brother to me."

"And you are the Iruka that is Kakashi-san's precious person?"

Both Iruka and Ya-chan stared at Gaara, eyes wide in shock. Iruka found his voice first. "You could say it like that, I suppose. May I ask how you know that and why you're asking?"

Iruka-sensei. He remembered where he'd heard that name before. Kakashi-san's little dog had said it. This plain-looking man was apparently Kakashi-san's lover. He didn't want to believe that someone as attractive as Kakashi-san would settle for someone so – so ordinary. There had to be some sort of mistake.

Gaara bowed deeply. "You are an unexpectedly powerful person. I have a lot of respect for you."

Ya-chan scowled as Iruka's face turned cheery red and he scratched madly at the scar across his nose. "Please don't bow to me, Kazekage-sama. I'm just an ordinary person."

"You got that right," Ya-chan muttered, and they all turned to look at him.

After a brief, uncomfortable pause Iruka said, "We should get moving. Tsunade-sama is expecting you."

They followed him to a large, rounded building. "Tsunade-sama is waiting for you in here," Iruka said after they'd climbed what seemed like a million stairs, gesturing to a pair of large double doors.

"He is not coming with us," Gaara said, tilting his head towards Ya-chan. "He came to see Kakashi-san. Are you able to arrange that?"

"To see Kakashi?" Iruka frowned in confusion. "I suppose so, it's nearly the end of my shift anyway. You can come home with me."

Home. With a sickening lurch, Ya-chan realized that that meant Kakashi-san lived with this plain man. Together.

"If you wait here, I'll go gather my things and sign out."

Ya-chan waited impatiently. He didn't want to spend time with this ugly idiot; he wanted to see Kakashi again.

"Thanks for waiting." Iruka gave him a brief smile, continuing to walk and expecting him to keep stride. "We're not going too far from here, but I don't know when Kakashi will be back so you'll have to just make yourself at home until he is. I hope that's not too much of a bother."

"You don't know where he is?" Ya-chan said incredulously.

"No, I don't." Iruka looked puzzled. "He's an adult. I don't need to keep tabs on him all day."

"Aren't you worried someone will steal him from you?" Ya-chan asked. Someone, perhaps, like me?

"Steal him?" If possible, Iruka looked more confused. "If I may ask, how exactly do you know him? It is somewhat strange for him to be associated with a civilian."

It probably wasn't meant as a jab at him, but Ya-chan decided to take it as one anyway. He was going to make this plain little man hurt. "He fucked me," he said proudly.

"Oh?" Iruka looked mildly surprised, and then his eyes turned sad. "And you think he'll remember you?"

The sadness, Ya-chan realized, was for him. His rival pitied him. This was not working out as planned. "Of course he will," he said determinedly. "We gave the daimyo a fantastic show, he couldn't get enough of it."

"The daimyo?" Iruka stopped short. He seemed concerned. "I'm not so sure it's a good idea for you to see Kakashi."

Ya-chan grinned impishly. This was better. "Are you worried he'll want me over you?"

Iruka shook his head and pressed his palms against his forehead. "I just got him over the goddamn guilt," he muttered, then looked back at Ya-chan. "Alright, you can come. But for your own sake, please don't expect anything from him."

Ya-chan scowled. He'll see. He'll see that Kakashi-san cares about me. He followed Iruka into an apartment building, and watched with a fascination he couldn't control as the tanned man waved away wards from his door.

Iruka dropped his satchel over the side of the couch as soon as he entered, and gestured to an empty armchair. "Take a seat. I'd play host for you, but a student drenched me in honey this morning and I desperately need another shower." He smiled wryly. "Besides, I understand you want nothing more to do with me."

Ya-chan squirmed internally. True, he had wanted Iruka to feel his not-so-subtle disdain, but having him actively address it was somewhat disconcerting.

The tension eased as Iruka left the room and Ya-chan took a good look around, eyes hungry. It was a fairly normal apartment, with nothing jumping out at him as unique or interesting. The bookshelves were full to bursting, but they seemed to house mostly textbooks. Raising Children the Right Way. Adding Fun to Your Classroom. Doujutsu and Their Clans. Meditation Techniques. Training your Chakra. Ya-chan rolled his eyes. "Boring." Even the ninja related books looked dull. Medicinal Herbs Locations and Uses. Icha Icha Paradise. Konoha Shinobi in History.

"Hold up." Ya-chan ran his hand back along the bookshelf to pull out a small, orange volume. "Icha Icha Paradise?" He sniggered, reading the flowery prose on the back. "That uptight man reads this crap?"

A rustling to his left made him startle. "Kakashi," he breathed. The man he'd been waiting months for was crouching on the window ledge, the window in front of him half open. Three-quarters of his face was covered and he was wearing the same uniform as half of this village, but Ya-chan would recognize that figure anywhere.

Kakashi's eye was locked on him, though Ya-chan couldn't tell what he was thinking at all. After a long moment's pause he thrust the window all the way up with a gloved hand and dropped into the room, stalking over to him and plucking the book from his hands. "Maa, this belongs to me," he said lightly, half-unzipping his jacket and tucking it away safely inside. "What are you doing here, Nayamashii?"

Ya-chan wanted to throw himself at him, but something in his stance stopped him. For some reason he felt that that would be a very bad idea. "I wanted to see you," he said lamely.

Kakashi nodded, and tugged his mask down below his chin. "Iruka let you in?"His expression gave away nothing of what he felt.

"Yeah. He's showering." Ya-chan glowered at the ground. "He's so plain, you could do much better. Like me."

"Ah." Kakashi scratched the back of his head and sighed. "Alright, sit down. There are a few things I want to say to you."

Ya-chan sat down slowly, and Kakashi perched himself on the arm of the couch. "First, about that plain thing. You may change your mind on that when he gets out of the shower." He grinned wolfishly, then held up a finger. "However, I am not with him because of what he looks like. You seem to have this mindset that a relationship needs to be built on dashing good looks and sexual compatibility. It's sad that you believe that's all you have to offer and all you want to receive.

"Iruka," he pointed in the direction of the bathroom, "Is my happiness. And maybe it's the guilt talking, but I'd like you to have that as well, so I'll tell you this frankly: I do not have the key to your happiness. You need to look elsewhere."

Ya-chan stared at his feet. "Gaara-san said you wouldn't want me anyway because I'm too weak."

Kakashi frowned. "That is true, though not because I am biased against those who are weak. Rather, it's because I am a dangerous weapon. When I become close to people much weaker than me my strength begins to terrify me. Iruka's strength is only just in my comfort zone. I actively avoid civilians."

"That's exactly what Gaara-san said," Ya-chan said quietly.

"He probably feels that fear a lot stronger than I do. At least the demons I contend with are of my own making," Kakashi said. He sounded sad.

Ya-chan squeezed his eyes shut and counted backwards from five. When he got to one he clapped his hands and opened his eyes. "Well," he said brightly, "At least I tried."

Kakashi stared at him blankly.

"I kinda knew you'd never be mine." Ya-chan shrugged. "I just wanted to hope, though. You saved me from a life I never thought would change."

Kakashi's mouth twitched upwards briefly. "I'm glad. I'm not particularly good at saving people."

"Norio-san's been really good to me, I've been learning carpentry," Ya-chan explained. "Though I spend more time helping customers in the shop than actually doing woodwork."

"I bet you bring in a lot of clientele," Kakashi said, but his focus was somewhere else.

Ya-chan followed his gaze, and had to admit that Kakashi had been right. Iruka did look sexier fresh out of the shower. He was shirtless, with a towel slung round his neck and long hair untied and dripping down his toned chest.

Iruka folded his arms. "Could you quit staring? Both of you?"

"You wouldn't happen to be open to a threesome, would you?" Ya-chan asked hopefully.

"No," Kakashi said firmly.

Iruka looked unsure. "Possibly."

"Possibly?" Kakashi repeated. "Are you serious?"

Iruka nodded. "I don't think it's a bad idea."

"Yeah, why do you think it's such a bad idea, Kakashi-san?" Ya-chan chimed in.

Kakashi glared at him and turned his attention back to Iruka, eyes narrowed. "Tell me why."

Iruka shrugged. "I've never slept with any other guy than you. I'm curious to see if I would enjoy it with someone else. Not that I want to be with someone else, just, you know, as a physical thing."

"You're lying," Kakashi said flatly. "Give me the real reason."

Iruka sighed. "You slept with him before, right? I thought maybe if I slept with him too you'd feel less guilty."

Kakashi put his head in his hands. "That's terrible logic," he muttered. "Besides, if you slept with Ya-chan the uncontrollable jealousy would make me feel ten times guiltier than I do right now."

"That's why you can both sleep with me together," Ya-chan said brightly.

"No," Kakashi repeated. "It's not happening. Ever."

"Well, you're the ones missing out." Ya-chan shrugged. "Poor things."

Iruka chuckled and sunk into the couch beside Kakashi. "There are better things to get out of life than sex, you know."

Ya-chan made a face. "Well excuse this humble whore for not knowing anything other than carnal pleasure."

"Former whore," Kakashi corrected, "And I'm not completely sold on the 'humble' part. Anyway, when you get home you are going to stop sleeping with strangers and focus on upskilling as a carpenter so you can be a better help to Norio, okay?"

"Are you giving me homework?" Ya-chan said disbelievingly. "And how do you know I sleep with strangers?"

"It was just a hunch." Kakashi shrugged. "But the 'homework' for your own benefit. If you work on becoming skilled in something other than sex then you may find someone who is attracted to you for something other than sex. Get it?"

Ya-chan screwed up his nose. "It sounds hard."

"You can come back to me and complain that your life is hard when you've killed innocent, harmless people simply because you were ordered to," Kakashi said.

"Kakashi," Iruka hissed.

"What?" Kakashi stared at him. "I'm sick of censoring myself."

"I suppose I can try," Ya-chan said, unsure. "If you guys ever decide to take me up on that threesome you'll call me, right?"

Kakashi chortled. "Not gonna happen."

Iruka glared at him and jabbed him in the ribs.

"I did want to ask, though," Ya-chan added, "If it's not for his appearance or his sexual prowess, why are you with Iruka-san?"

Kakashi looked uneasily at Iruka, who smirked at him. "You're not censoring yourself, remember?"

Kakashi knocked him lightly in the side of the head. "His hilarious sense of humour," he said dryly.

"Ha ha," Iruka said sarcastically, "I'll have you know my students think I'm funny."

"Twelve-year-olds are not a great judge of anything, let alone humour," Kakashi retorted. "They also eat snot and think adults know the answer to everything."

Iruka shook his head. "He's still waiting for an answer to his question. Get on it."

Kakashi sighed. "You probably aren't aware of it, but I'm somewhat famous. Iruka is the first person to treat me like a human being rather than an icon or a weapon since my sensei died. That's it."

Ya-chan squinted at him. "Somewhat famous?"

"When you get back to Suna, ask any shinobi chūnin level or above who Hatake Kakashi is and they should be able to tell you," Iruka said, before turning to Kakashi. "I can't be the only one. The Yondaime died over a decade ago."

Kakashi pumped his fist in the air unenthusiastically. "Believe it," he said flatly. "Actually, now that I've said that I realize that Team Seven never treated me as an icon or a weapon. They treated me like an idiot, which was far more amusing, though a minor slam to my ego."

"I did try to teach those brats respect," Iruka muttered. "But there's only so much you can expect children to understand." He startled at a sudden knocking, and hoisted himself off the couch. "Excuse me while I get that."

Kakashi pushed him down again and headed for the door himself. "You're only half-dressed, Sensei."

He opened the door and gave a shallow bow. "Kazekage-sama, Kankurō-san."

"Kakashi-san." Gaara dipped his head in return. "We are scheduled to leave early tomorrow morning, so we have come to reclaim Nayamashii-kun."

"Hey, I thought you said we could stay here a few days," Ya-chan whined.

"You cannot speak to the Kazekage like that," Iruka scolded instantly, blushing fiercely as everyone turned to stare at him. "Sorry. Habit, I guess."

"You don't have to tell me off, I get enough of that from Norio-san." Ya-chan scowled as Kakashi ruffled his hair as he passed. "But if you ever want to scold me in bed, I'll be a naughty boy for you."

Gaara opened his mouth, brows pulled down in confusion, and Kakashi shook his head. "Don't ask. The best thing to do is to leave as fast as possible."

Gaara shut his mouth and nodded. Ya-chan waved. Kankurō scowled. Kakashi shut the door on them.

.

"You're okay?" Iruka asked when the air was finally quiet.

"Of course." Kakashi grinned at him. "That was a little weird, but I don't feel guilty again if that's what you're asking. I was surprised you'd jump at the chance of a threesome, though."

Iruka put his hands up defensively. "You're thinking something dangerous, aren't you?"

"Maa, not dangerous, per say," Kakashi drawled, "Maybe more… adventurous. Would you consider a threesome if the third party was a clone?"

Iruka looked horrified. "Kakashi, I can barely handle one of you. There is no way in hell I would survive two of you teasing me."

Kakashi shrugged, and stalked towards him predatorily. "It was worth a shot. Then, what do you say to just one of me teasing you until you're screaming my name?"

Iruka smiled. "I might be down for that," he purred, and spread his legs.

Kakashi pounced.

o0o

A/N: I am so excited to finally be done with this story! TBH a lot of the earlier characterization makes me cringe, but hey what's done is done. And this omake really got away from me to the point where I don't even know what's going on anymore.