A/N: I do not own either Inspector Cabanela or Detective Jowd; they belong to CAPCOM. However, the plot, the Chief Commissioner, the Deputy Chief and resulting silliness are mine. :^)
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Jowd and Cabanela are in trouble again, this time after a brawl breaks out at the wedding reception of a colleague. The Deputy Chief is convinced that they are the culprits and intends to make them pay while Cabanela and Jowd need to prove their innocence...
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My second CabanOwd fic and a very silly one it is! It's very Police Academy-ish in terms of the humour and ridiculous situations and is intended to be as such. The relationship between the Deputy Commissioner and Cabanela and Jowd is the same as between Sgt. Mahoney and Lt. Harris in the movie: in other words, not good. He doesn't like them for the simple reason that the two of them really got under his skin when they were Rookies and he's been looking to get even with them ever since. He originally put Cabaenla with Jowd in order to curb Cabaenla's enthusiasm and penchant for getting into trouble but it really backfired on him, to say the least! Anyway, now that he's Deputy Chief, he's looking for an excuse to put the screws to them and the riot at a colleague's wedding reception provides him with the perfect excuse. Thankfully, they dohave protectors in high places!

[Ranks used are from the NYPD and are used fictitiously since I use Detective as a rank. Information taken from both Wikipedia and The Straight Dope Message Board (Ranks on the TV program Barney Miller. Website addresses are in my profile.]

Thank you to all my readers: those who have commented, read, reviewed, favourited/story alerted my stories and thanks also to those who have author alerted/favourite authored, as well! I appreciate it very much! I am glad that you are enjoying my stories and I hope that you will continue to enjoy them in the future! :)

Thank you to Midnight-hunter for her wonderful beta reading! Thanks bunches!

Special thanks to my beloved husband, DezoPenguin, for all his encouragement, love, concern and for reigniting the fire within me to write! Love you, honey, and thanks!

As always, reviews, comments and suggestions are welcomed and appreciated! I aim to improve my writing and comments do help me to do just that: by letting me know what you like, what you don't and what needs improvement. :^)

Rated Teen, male/male relationships, AU, Humor, CabanOwd
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We stood before the Deputy Chief's desk, where we had both been summoned within a minute of our dragging ourselves into the Precinct; we looked very sheepish as we leaned against each other for support, one arm draped over each others' shoulders.

I had had an inkling of an idea of why we had been asked to report in once we arrived although I still wasn't one hundred percent certain; I was of the opinion that it was wise not to buy trouble before there is actually a need to. We ignored the mingled shouts of other people who were being dragged into the Precinct, saving some of their choice epithets for us and flinging them in our general direction before they were taken and, in some cases, dragged away to be booked.

I didn't know why they were so angry with us since we weren't responsible for what had occurred two hours earlier. We'd stopped off at the hospital to have our various wounds cleaned and bandaged before making our way back to the Precinct-under protest from the nurses who had patched us up-since both Cabanela and myself had been worked over pretty badly in the ensuing bedlam that had followed at the reception: our clothing was torn and splattered with various liquids that included wine, beer and mixed cocktails and spirits of every description; mashed potatoes and gravy was all over our heads and in my beard as well; mustard stains intermittently appeared on Cabanela's white trench-coat from top to bottom, both of his sleeves were torn free from the shoulder and hung limply off of his shoulders while mine was splattered with the remains of a cherry gelatin salad, a wilted leaf hanging limply over my left ear. We both were sporting dark purple mouses under one perspective eye-my right, his left-that had swelled up to a considerable degree so that we could barely see out of them and Cabanela had a split lip, a bruised right cheek and a sprained ankle that swelled alarmingly while I had a fat lip, a black left eye and various bruises.

Ouch... and it wasn't even our fault! I winced slightly as I felt Cabanela shift his weight from his left leg to his right for a moment and I noticed the clenched teeth that told me that he was in worse pain than I was at the moment. We stopped to catch our breath, leaning against the wall for support before we continued onward down the hall. Damn … who was it that hit me with that haymaker when I wasn't looking...? I rubbed the side of my face gingerly with my free hand as we limped along. Was that Sergeant Carson's uncle or grandfather? I don't really remember...

I clenched my teeth momentarily until a stab of pain raced through my entire face. I yelped and quickly relaxed my jaw, feeling Cabanela stiffen beside me as he shot a look of concern at me. I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile but I could see that he wasn't entirely convinced, his brow furrowing.

I'll have to take it up with her one of these days... if she ever speaks to either of us again. I grimaced. Last I heard, she was pretty angry with us...

We saw the former Sergeant Carson-now Sergeant White-briefly as she stormed past us, her beautiful cream-colored, off the shoulder wedding dress torn and disheveled, the shredded bottom flapping around her fast moving heeled feet like broken wings. The front of her dress was spattered with mud and various other remains of what were once food items, her tattered ivory princess veil lying at an awkward angle on her head, a loose piece of pearl-embroidered fabric hanging down over her left eye that gave her a surprisingly evil look since she was one of the friendliest people we'd ever met. I started to open my mouth to offer her a greeting but she didn't look at us or even acknowledge our presence as she passed by although she did mutter something under her breath that wasn't nice or friendly.

She's pretty angry with us. I sighed as we continued on down the corridor, wincing visibly with every fourth step. This doesn't bode well...

The Deputy Chief didn't even look up from where he was shuffling his papers once we had stepped slowly into his office, his mouth set in a grim line. We stood there like a couple of errant schoolboys brought to the Headmaster while we waited for him to finish, certain that we were in deep trouble this time. And it wasn't our fault!

He remained silent for a few moments more before he finally looked up at us and, when he did, I could feel my heart sinking in the direction of my boots and I knew that Cabanela definitely felt the same way. The look on the Deputy Inspector's face was decidedly unfriendly: his slate-grey eyes glared at us from under slitted lids, the skin at the corners pulled tight; his lips were set in an angry slash, the corners of his mouth twitching at the effort it took to keep silent and his hands trembled as he put the sheaf of papers he held to one side of his desk. I had no doubt that he was probably imagining his fingers wrapped around our throats since they were twitching wildly and he had the oddest expression on his face.

"I thought," he began, linking his fingers together as he looked down on us from his high perch, "I told the two of you that I never wanted either of you to darken my door again yet-" he unlinked his fingers and spread out his hands - "here you are, looking like something the cat dragged in." He stood up slightly and leaned over the top of his desk, giving us both a dark look; I gulped, noting the throbbing vein in his forehead and struggled to stay upright which was becoming increasingly harder to do given the fact that my legs, and Cabanela's, threatened to fold underneath us like a house of cards. "To say that I'm surprised to see the two of you in my office again would be a lie because I'm really not; you two have been a thorn in my side for years and there is nothing that either of you can possibly say-" he lifted his hand to quell the protest that I was attempting to make - "that will make me believe that you two didn't have a hand in it."

His eyebrow rose as he stood back up to his full six foot two height, crossing his arms over his chest. "Your penchant for getting into trouble is legendary as is your ability to skate out of it as well but I am afraid, gentlemen" -he practically spit the word out- "that this time you both have gone too far!"

This isn't good... I swallowed again and quickly shifted to catch Cabanela before he fell to the floor, the latter looking at me gratefully. I smiled tenderly at him before the Deputy Chief's angry cough interrupted me, my gaze being drawn back to him again. He's really angry with us...and we didn't do anything!

"But... Sir..." I protested weakly, catching Cabanela by the arm and lifting him to his feet. "It wasn't our fault this time! What happened was-"

He laughed mirthlessly, his eyebrows knitting together. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that after all the hellery that you two have raised, both in the Academy and here in this Precinct, for the past five years? Do you think I'm a fool?"

"No... but-" Cabanela started but was again ruthlessly cut off and we both fell silent, knowing very well that, no matter what we said, the Deputy Chief still held us responsible for the disaster at Sergeant Carson's wedding.

He sat down hard in his chair, sighing loudly with feeling. It was so quiet in his office that you could have heard a pin drop and I was acutely aware of how loud both of our hearts sounded at this moment. I was surprised that the Deputy Chief didn't hear it but, then again, knowing how angry he was with us at this point, I doubt he would have heard it over his own voice as he read us the riot act, at length and at top volume.

He can be pretty loud when he wants to be. I winced as his voice hit a particularly shrill note and I could feel Cabanela twitch at my side as it reverberated in his ears. It was times like these that I pitied his sharp hearing.

"I don't know what to do with you two," he said tiredly after a few more moments of silence, his eyes shut tightly, his thumb and forefinger pressed against his forehead. "You've both brought me nothing but trouble the entire time you've been here and now you have the audacity to say that neither of you had anything to do with destroying Sergeant Carson's wedding reception, inciting a riot-"

"To... be fair... Sir..." Cabanela piped up, his voice a loud whisper, looking up at the Chief, a placid expression on his face that belied the smoldering, angry look in his brown eyes and also did a good job of masking the terrible pain that he was in. "We... we... weren't trying to... to... start a riot... we... were trying to... stop... one from happening in the first place..."

He gave Cabanela the gimlet eye, his mouth twisting in rage, spitting out the words with venom.

"Trying to stop one? Trying to stop one? If it hadn't been for you two witless wonders, there wouldn't have been a riot in the first place!" He slammed his big paws down on his desk, leaning down even further. "What the hell is wrong with you two? You were invited, in good faith, by Sergeant Carson to her wedding and look what you did!" He leaned back, swinging out one arm and scattering a second pile of papers in every direction before they floated to land on the floor but he didn't seem to notice as he continued his diatribe. "You destroyed her reception, you landed thirty of her guests, including some of her relatives, in jail and incited the guests to riot! What could either of you possibly say in your defence?"

I swallowed, grinning foolishly as I lifted a hand. "We didn't do it?"

"Hooonest..." Cabanela contributed, his voice catching in his throat before he quieted again, his mouth tight with pain. I leaned over to comfort him as much as I could, ignoring the wave of agony that briefly washed over me, leaving me pale and sweating.

"Right." The Deputy Chief looked down on us in silence for some time, his disgust becoming more and more palpable and I really got the distinct impression that he didn't like either of us very much which, on the whole, was a very bad thing, indeed. He jammed a half-smoked cigar that sat in an ash-tray in on his desk into the side of his mouth and chewed vigorously on it, his eyes snapping grey sparks as he did so.

I hated the thought but it was pretty clear to us that we were in serious trouble and we needed a miracle to get out of this one with our skins intact, not to mention our jobs. The way that the Deputy Chief was looking at us it was made very clear that our reputations, deserved or not, had preceded us and, despite our last five years of active and decorated service, he still didn't believe that we were innocent of the charges that had been brought against us.

I don't think he's ever forgiven us for the stunts we pulled on his watch. Which would go a long way to explain why he doesn't like us.

The silence dragged on for many moments, each minute felt like an eternity to both Cabanela and myself; I was beginning to feel that we were little kids again being dragged into the Principal's office and wondered how my compatriot was faring. Not too well, judging by the way that he was leaning heavily on me, perspiration dripping from his brow, his eyes tightly shut, little mewls of pain emerging from tightly compressed lips. He needed to sit down and soon or I was afraid that he would crash into a tangled heap on the floor and more than likely take me with him.

I have to ask if we could sit down because if I don't, Cabanela is going to collapse. Surely, he wouldn't mind...

On that count, I was wrong; the Deputy Chief did mind and was fully prepared to make us stand there for the foreseeable future until we both collapsed had not the Chief Commissioner of our area happen to come by at that moment.

"Good evening, gentlemen," he said, his tenor voice echoing throughout the now quiet room, the Deputy Chief whirling around in surprise to see his superior standing there, his six foot five frame filling the doorway in which he stood, broad shoulders and body filled by his crisp, blue uniform with his hat tucked neatly under his left arm, standing ram-rod straight. His short, cropped white hair stood out in stark contrast to his piercing cerulean blue eyes that looked curiously at the scene playing out in front of him, then at the Deputy Chief and then to Cabanela, his generous mouth quirking at the corners."I was on my way here to see you, Martin and I do apologize for interrupting."

The Deputy Chief muttered something under his breath and waved his right hand in lazy circles in the air by way of greeting but said nothing. Seeing my partner's white, pinched face out of the corner of his eye, the Commissioner deduced the situation immediately and wasted no time as he raced across the room, grabbing a comfortable padded leather chair that stood lonely sentinel against the far wall. The Deputy Chief's mouth dropped open in astonishment as he watched the Chief Commissioner hurrying back and, placing the chair down in front of me, he motioned to Cabanela to sit which he gratefully did, folding his tall, elegant form into it with a liquid grace that both astonished and impressed me.

Stunned silence filled the room for many minutes while Cabanela slowly sat down and, once he was settled comfortably, the Commissioner turned to look at me as I stood by the chair, my hand resting lightly on Cabanela's upper arm, his blue eyes sparkling with muted amusement.

"What are these two doing here?" he asked amiably, looking up at the Deputy Chief for an answer, shaking his head when I began to open my mouth to reply and quickly shut it again although an undignified squawk did burst from my lips when Cabanela pulled me down and I sat hard upon the arm of the chair, his arm snaking around my shoulders.

The Commissioner said nothing but the twitching of his lips said that he was having a hard time to keep from laughing while the Deputy Chief looked like he was on the verge of an apoplectic fit. He chewed hard on his cigar before turning to the Chief and grating out, "Sir, these two vagrants are here on charges of inciting a riot and assaulting a fellow peace officer's family members not to mention destroying her wedding reception and I'm going to make sure that-"

The Commissioner quietly held up a hand, cutting off whatever it was that his subordinate had been about to say.

"I know all about that Martin," he said softly, his eyes flickering over to us and then back to the Deputy Chief again, "and I did talk to Sergeant Carson herself about what happened." He sighed, turning to look at us. "She's really angry with you boys and blames you both for starting the riot at her wedding reception."

"But, Sir-" I began again and stopped when he shook his head, walking over to the chair next to where Cabanela and I were sitting, turning to face us, his fingers linking together and taking a deep breath.

"I know, Detective Jowd," he replied patiently, his linked hands gesturing toward me, his elbows resting on his thighs, "and I don't believe, for one moment, that you two were actively trying to start a riot." He smiled wolfishly, his eyes gleaming with mischief out of the Deputy Chief's line of vision. "I've known you two since you were in the Academy and I do believe you two didn't start this on purpose, nor was that your intent. However-" he straightened up in his chair, his eyes narrowing as he did so and both Cabanela and I shifted uneasily under that serious gaze - "the charges against you are very serious and I am sure that you both can appreciate that fact without me having to remind you. But, before any kind of disciplinary action is taken, I'd like to give you boys a chance to explain to me what happened from the beginning and how it is that you two look like you've both been put through a meat grinder."

The Deputy Chief made a sound in his throat that I could have sworn sounded like he was being strangled.

The Commissioner looked at him. "Do you have a problem with that, Martin?" he asked mildly but with an underlying frosty, steely undertone. The Deputy Chief opened his mouth to say something but wisely thought better of it and sat down, his eyes angry with thwarted authority, his baleful look never once leaving either Cabanela or myself for an instant.

"None whatsoever, Sir," he said tightly, the look on his face speaking volumes.

The Commissioner didn't even flick an eyebrow although there was no way that he could have missed his colleague's sarcastic, caustic tone. "Good." He turned to us again, his expression benign. "Now that we have that particular issue settled, would you boys mind telling me exactly what happened at Sergeant Carson's wedding reception. Start from the beginning and leave nothing out."

I swallowed and then took a deep breath. "Well, Sir," I began, my arm wrapped gently around Cabanela's shoulders, feeling confidence rise with my partner by my side, "it all happened like this..."