You looked over at him and sighed.

There he was again, texting.

Like he always did.

Always.

It didn't matter who it was, but it wasn't you.

And that's all that did matter.

You got up, stepped out of the room and turned towards the bathroom. You promised yourself that you wouldn't show them to him, but you had to break it. It just wasn't right that you told him how you felt, and still he disregarded it. You had tried to tell yourself that that was okay, but it wasn't.

Your heart knew better, and it knew what it wanted. You slid off your wristbands and tilted your head. You looked at the gauze bandages that wrapped around your wrists like cuffs, and sighed.

You shouldn't have done it, but you did. You shouldn't have let it go so far, but it was too late. You couldn't go back now, even if you tried. And to be honest, you didn't really want to deep down.

You wanted to show him just how much you really cared.

And how much he hurt you every day.

You peered back at his door and looked down, a slight frown plastering itself on your face. Looking back into the mirror, you stared at the boy who would always smile, even if inside he had fallen to her last will. In your head, the reflection smiled at you, a sad smile.

A pitiful smile.

You sneered. How could someone, yourself, pity you.

How could anyone give you that look.

The look no one had given you for months.

You disregarded your own self as you looked down at the sink. Porcelain white... for now, that is. You reached into your pocket and pulled out a small box of razor blades. You promised yourself 5 months ago that this wouldn't happen again, but you broke that promise. You broke that promise the night before, when you dripped your deep red blood onto your new red pajamas.

You sighed and slipped a blade out of the box, admiring it's perfection as you smirked. This was your best friend. The only one who would never leave you. The best friend who helped you through sad times, and helped you live.

The best friend who was going to kill you.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

You unwrapped both of your wrists and stared at the barely healing wounds with a smile. Your work had made you proud. You sat on the edge of the sink, your wrists placed over the drain so your blood wouldn't make too much of a mess as you did what you had to do.

You closed your eyes as you placed the blade beside your wounds.

"Dave? Are you okay out there? You've been gone an awfully long time!"

You winced as your heart lost a beat.

"I'm fine, Egderp." You replied, calmly as you always did.

You didn't want to worry him just yet. He could have his time of innocence for now, but that would soon end. Behind your shades, tears were forming. You knew this wasn't cool, or ironic, but you didn't care.

You just wanted him to see how much he meant to you.

You leaned your head back as you opened up your eyes and stared into the dark of the room. You pressed down hard, a small dab of blood pooling at the edge of the blade as you clenched your fist.

You dragged it across, roughly, because nothing mattered anymore. John didn't matter, Bro didn't matter, Rose didn't matter, and Jade didn't matter. Not even your turntables mattered. You just wanted everything to end so that you never had to deal with this again.

You looked down at the wound and choked back tears.

You jabbed roughly, spraying your white shirt with red as you reached bone. You couldn't feel this anymore, you couldn't feel the blood gushing out of your wound. You couldn't feel the pain in your heart anymore. As if everything that ever brought you any sort of emotions, was gone. And it made you smile.

You barely managed to do the same to your other wrist as your hand trembled. The once white sink was soaked red, and your shirt was stained for good. Your salted tears mixed with your blood as you removed your shades and wiped your eyes.

Stepping down, you shuffled, barely, out of the bathroom and back to John's room. You kicked the door slightly and stared up at him, your eyes more red then normal.

"I love you..." Was all you managed to croak out before all you heard were screams, bangs, and sobs. You looked up through foggy sight and saw John's worried face, tears in his eyes. Everything he said was blurred as you began to lose yourself. Reaching up with what little strength you had left, you held his cheek and smiled. "...so much." You finished as you closed your eyes.

As everything faded, you felt the last thing you wanted to. His lips against yours, and a feeling of happiness fill you as you finally got to see how much he really cared. You blocked out his screams for 911 as you heard a final 'I love you' in your departure.

You were happy again.

And he would be too.

Someday.