Title: Come to Raise the Dead
Summary: They were in a war zone. They dealt with death and destruction constantly. But never like this.
Notes: Horror theme throughout.
Title and lyrics below are from the beautiful 'One' by U2.

'Have you come here for forgiveness? Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?'

1.

He wondered what he was here for.

Not just Korea, a vicious war zone, but why he was even living. Why he even existed. The rational part of his mind told him over and over that he saved plenty of people's lives and that he made a huge difference being here.
Of course, the irrational part of him was able to scream a lot louder and make him pay more attention to it.

He knew that kid didn't have a chance and yet he still spent four hours working on him just to make him suffer a little longer, drag his death out a bit more. 'I thought it was your job to stop people suffering, not extend their agony'. He shook his head against the thought, not that it would stop him. He knew he was tormenting himself but he deserved it. Everyone else had told him it was a lost cause but for whatever reason, this day, he wouldn't listen. Even the Colonel had told him to reconsider but Hawkeye used his position as Chief Surgeon to do it anyway. He didn't have authority over Potter, but the decisions regarding patients came to him and he was going to use it to his advantage. Just this once. Maybe this would be different, he told himself. Maybe if he worked on this kid, even as badly hurt as he was, he'd be able to save him. Maybe he wouldn't have to watch the kid get carried out of here with a toe tag.

He'd been kidding himself of course. He went to post-op after finishing in OR and already found a disheartening set of figures on the kids chart. He looked at the soldiers name. Jake Merriweather.
He sat by the boys bed for a while, watched him breath. Watched him suffer. Watched him slowly die.

He watched him exhale his last breath and then nothing. Part of him, the doctor poised for any emergency, wanted to start trying to save him, but he knew. Knew that he'd already made this death last longer than it should have. He should have let him go.

He sat next to the bed for a while. The nurse on duty came over, "Hawk, we can take care of this now."

He shook his head. "No, it's okay. I might as well see it through to the end," he thought for a moment before continuing. "I'm just gonna get a bit of fresh air and I'll be right back, okay? I'll sort it."

She nodded at him, a quick hand on his shoulder before continuing. Then he'd stepped outside.

And now here he was. Sat outside post-op, not quite ready to go back in. He could just get the nurses to sort the rest of it out. It wasn't his job now. His job was a doctor, a healer. But he'd failed at that so maybe for the night he'd play a different role.
He rubbed at his eyes tiredly. He was always tired. He couldn't remember a time here feeling well rested. There was no rest. No peace.

"Pierce, how's the boy you were working on?"

Hawkeye looked across to see Charles making his way towards post-op. His look said it all as Charles' demeanour changed. "Ah."

"'Ah' indeed," Hawkeye said, slightly mimicking Charles accent. "I guess I should have listened to you and BJ. Hell, even Margaret was trying to talk me out of it. Some thing is just not right when your nurse is a better judge than the doctor."

"East to say it now but if the boy had survived then we would look the fools."

"Instead of me," Hawkeye retorted quickly.

"Pierce, if the worse thing you do as a doctor is refuse to give up on your patient, then it's hardly a flaw, is it?"

Hawkeye looked up at Charles for a moment and saw that there was sincerity coming from him. He might not show it as freely as BJ, but he wasn't heartless. He wasn't a Frank Burns replacement, he was his own man. And a good man at that. "Thank you, Charles. That helps a lot."

"You should get some rest."

"Actually I'm not finished in here yet. I wanna put this one to bed as it were."

A/N: So, a short and sweet start but from the next chapter the fun should begin. Reviews are welcome. Always. :)