Title: Life's a Song
Author: Harikari
Rating: Hard R
Pairing/Characters: Eventual Puck/Kurt, Ensemble
Disclaimer: Don't own em'. This was written for fun, not profit. Title taken from the BtVS episode.
Warnings:Violence, strong language, some gore, eventual mild smut, huge spoilers for season 1 of Glee and some spoilers for season 2, crossover (contains spoilers for certain episodes of BtVS and a few characters/mention of a few characters from BtVS but no knowledge of BtVS should be necessary to understand this fic), etc.

Summary:Kurt and Puck unravel a dangerous mystery involving magic, demons and the horrors of spontaneous song and dance during their summer vacation.

"Life's a song you don't get to rehearse." - Buffy Summers (Season 6, Once More, With Feeling)

Part One

June 2010

It wasn't until Kurt left Lima for a week to visit his grandmother that he realized people randomly bursting into song in school hallways and in the frozen food aisle at the grocery store wasn't exactly normal. In fact, he concluded during that rather dull week of his granny's bland cooking and no satellite TV and a guest bed that smelled like moth balls, it was downright freaky.

Unnatural.

While sitting on the plush sofa in the den, only half listening to his grandmother's angry rant about daytime soaps and how they were all going down the drain, he turned it all over in his head.

Classmates suddenly deciding to sing their hearts out in the middle of a Geometry lesson. People dancing on top of the food court tables at the mall. And the glee club? Well. He himself hadn't thought twice about launching into a somewhat hip-hop rendition of Vacationby The Go-Go's with the rest of the show choir at the sound of the last bell of the school year. (They had all somehow ended up dancing their ways across the football field - at the end of the number their freshly obsolete homework assignments and notes had been thrown into the air and had fluttered slowly to the ground around them as they had wandered away from the field in a slightly confused daze).

Once his annual visit with his grandmother was over with - she was an ornery lady with a shrill yell but Kurt had an undeniable soft spot for her because she was his mother'smother and because she always gifted him with marvelous scarves on his birthdays - he decided to broach the subject with his father.

"So," Kurt started and his father granted him a quick glance before turning back to the road. The man had his hands wrapped around the steering wheel and had been humming along under his breath to the Johnny Cash song booming from the speakers. "Dad. How is everything going at home?"

His dad frowned a little. "Fine. Why?"

Kurt shrugged and reached to spin the radio's volume nob. Cash's voice got softer and his dad's frown became more pronounced. "I was just wondering if anything happened while I was away? Like...anything unusual?"

"Kurt," said his dad. He sounded amused. "You've only been away from home for a week, son. And you were just at your grandmother's. You weren't even out of state. Besides, you know I would have told you if something important had happened."

It was Kurt's turn to frown. He turned to look out the window and mused that he should have thought out his line of questioning, should have been better prepared to talk to his father about the strangeness overtaking their hometown.

But really. How did someone prepare for talking about something like this? Was there in fact a good way to bring up such a crazy subject? A way that wouldn't make him look like a complete nutcase?

"I just..." he trailed off and cleared his throat. "I was just wondering about the singing and dancing."

"What?" His dad shook his head. "You mean like your club? I thought you said you guys won't have anymore rehearsals until sometime in August."

"Not thatsinging and dancing," said Kurt. "I mean all the impromptu performances around town. Are those...still going on?"

His dad got quiet for a moment. Kurt bit at his bottom lip in nervous anticipation, listened to the low murmur of the radio DJ announcing the next song.

Then the man shot him a look - faced him for just a second before turning back to the road again. His expression was one of awe and confusion and Kurt realized his father was likely experiencing the same strange feeling of almost-disbelief hehad when he had thought back to the sudden uprising of choreographed dance and show tunes in Lima during his stay with his grandmother.

"Isn't it...weird?" Kurt spoke tentatively. He didn't want to jump right in and voice the problem, didn't even quite know how to wrap his tongue or his mind around the situation Lima was (as far as knew still, currently) in.

Some of the stunned fear he had been feeling since that moment of clarity on his grandmother's couch must have shone through in his voice. His father straightened in his seat and reached out with one hand to pat Kurt on the shoulder as the other tightened its grip on the steering wheel.

"Son," he started. "I know this is...weird." He snorted and shook his head. "Really weird and I didn't even realize whatever the hell it is is happening until you mentioned it just now but don't..."

And then the man allowed his sentence to trail off into nothing.

Kurt looked away from the roadside rushing by outside his window - from the green 'Welcome to Lima' sign they were passing - to stare at his father. "Dad?"

"Hmm?" The man seemed distracted, deeply engrossed in the act of driving.

"You were saying...?"

When his father didn't reply or finish his earlier thought Kurt pressed. "What was it that you were going to say? About the singing and dancing?"

"Singing and dancing?" asked Burt. "I thought you said glee club wasn't meeting again until August?"

Kurt's mouth fell open. His heart started beating unnaturally fast in his chest. "Dad. What?" He stared at his father with wide eyes.

"What? What is it? What's wrong, Kurt?" Burt's tone became more demanding with each question. He started scanning the road and the roadside, apparently looking for the cause of his son's distress or perhaps planning to pull over.

Kurt swallowed. "Dad...no," he managed. "It's nothing. I was...talking about glee club. I hope I land a solo next year."

Burt nodded and Kurt bit at his bottom lip. He didn't want to panic his dad. But seriously. What the hell had just happened?

Had he imagined having the entire first portion of that conversation?

Kurt looked out the window, heart still pumping too fast.

What just...oh.

And then abruptly he recalled the 'Welcome to Lima' sign. Realized that he had been away from his hometown when the crazy that was happening had become clear to him.

"You sure you're okay?" asked his dad.

No, thought the self-proclaimed diva.

"Yes, dad. I'm fine."

He took a deep breath and leaned back in his seat.

Something strange was going down in Lima, Ohio.

Something very strange.

And whatever it was? It looked like Kurt was going to have to deal with it on his own.

Maybe he was crazy.

Kurt considered this possibility once he and his father were finally home and he was sitting at his mother's old vanity, staring at himself in the mirror. And it certainly wasa possibility. Was likely even.

Because before he off and visited his grandmother he hadn't noticed anything freaky, hadn't noticed anyone else at McKinley or around town noticing anything freaky.

So maybe it was him. Maybe he had been shouldered into a locker or lifted and dropped into a trash bin one too many times.

Only. No. That wasn't it.

I saw my dad's face, thought Kurt as he grabbed for his small bottle of facial moisturizer. For a moment he knew what was going on. For a second he realized something is off like I realized something is off.

Kurt applied the moisturizer and then blinked at his reflection. In a way it would have been much better (if not for him and his personal future) if something was wrong with him. Only him and not all of Lima.

Finished with his nightly beauty routine Kurt changed into an old pair of sweats and a t-shirt - not his favorite choice of pajamas but all of his others were unwashed or still stuffed into the bags he had used for his visit with his grandmother - and climbed into bed. His laptop was sitting on his bedside table; he grabbed for it and turned it on.

After a moment of hesitation he clicked to open his internet browser. A search engine was his homepage. He stared at the blinking cursor and the search bar, his fingers hovered over the keyboard.

What am I supposed to search for?

He typed in the words 'singing and dancing uncontrollably' and searched. Links to a number of gospel music sites, music lesson sites and (strangely) a facebook page popped up.

Kurt sighed and snapped the laptop closed without shutting it down, shoved it back onto his nightstand.

The entire situation was utterly ridiculous. It was unbelievable and crazy and scary and shouldn't be happening in the first place. So what exactly was he supposed to do about it? How was he supposed to research it? How was he supposed to put a stopto it?

The self-proclaimed diva fell back in his bed and stared at his bare but clean looking ceiling for a few seconds before turning his head and letting his eyes roam around the basement.

He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself and clear his head. He gazed in turn at his large closet, the ajar door to the basement's bathroom, his bookshelf and-

Wait.

His bookshelf. Books. Books. Duh. The library.

He didn't have access to McKinley's library with school being out for the year but the public library would have tons of books he didn't have, maybe would have books on strange events similar to the one Lima was experiencing.

It wasn't likely but it was worth a shot. And if he for some reason needed to check something out on the internet the library had wifi too.

With a goal in mind and feeling just slightly better than he had since his father's apparent and sudden memory loss during the drive home Kurt wiggled his way under the covers and closed his eyes.

He attempted to force thoughts of the empty look his father had given him in the truck, of the unnatural singing and dancing and what it all might mean out of his head. He willed himself to get some sleep.

He had a feeling he would need all the rest he could get.