Author's note: Well here we are again with another chapter; this one is a bit on the short side since it is only a couple of scenes I wasn't able to include in the last chapter. Horizon will not come until the next chapter just yet. Ahhhhhhh, I'm still not able to get my mind fully back to this story, stupid plot bunnies keep popping up and pestering me about my Dragon Ball crossover. FUCK! I cannot get them out of my mind; they keep harassing me and will not leave me alone until I put those ideas into words. Not sure if I'm going to be able to keep my attention solely in this story until January, I want to write about my other stuff I'm getting anxious because I try not too… Ah, I probably will work somewhat in my other story for at least next week. Well I still need to make a re-run of the Horizon mission again before I start writing next chapter, so it gives me time.

Anyway, enough about my issues, let's get on with the story already.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing all belongs to EA.

CHAPTER 23

To dream or not to dream

Alice was sitting at the edge of the examination table, a downcast look on her face. Crowding around her were The Commander and several of the ground team standing around the med-bay with expressions of unease and concern (Garrus, Miranda, Kasumi and Zaaed) while Chakwas, Mordin and Yeoman Chambers were attending the girl to acertain her physical and mental health after the latest incident. The Queen of hearts just stood unmoving in a corner glaring disdainfully at everybody in the room.

"So doc… What's the verdict?" Shepard asked grimly, as he saw Chakwas finishing with her examination. Despite the fact that none of the people present had managed any kind of restful sleep, a fact made evident by the faint darkening of skin underneath the eyes of the senior medical officer, it did nothing against Chakwas from making her carry her duties with the outmust efficiency and professionalism. Not the first time she's had to lose some sleep to tend over a patient for sure.

"Physically, Alice is fine if exhausted, though we cannot blame her for that after what just happened… We are all more concerned about her state of mind at the moment…" Doctor Chakwas replied without turning to adress the commander, her attention solely on the girl she was treating.

"I said I was fine!" The young woman in question exclaimed as she swated away all the hands around her and stopped the ministrations on her person. "I'm just tired that's all… Don't know why everbody is in such a fuss about it? It was just a nightmare, no need to be making a circus out of it." She said in a huff, as she crossed herself in arms.

Chakwas gave her patented Doctor's look, the one she reserves for stubborn and thickheaded alliance soldiers that try to skip on her orders. "Alice… You know very well that it was not simply just a nightmare what you had. I mean I certainly wasn't expecting to be waked up in the middle of the night by images about murder and monsters." The older woman quiped, trying to be sarcastic.

Alice flinched back at the comment, knowing that it had been her fault (unconciously or not) that her memories had infected the dreams of the rest crew while they were sleeping. She lifted her legs up on the table and hugged her knees, trying to bury her face from everybody. "I'm sorry… It wasn't my intention to pull you all into my dreams… Is just that, with all that has happened… I couldn't help but feel a pang of nostalgia for the loss of my family and remember how they were taken from me… I never wanted for my moment of weakness to become a burden for all of you…" She said falling into depression as moisture began to form in her eyes.

"Now, now kiddo, don't start tearing up just yet." Garrus said placidly trying to reassure the girl. "People in our line of work are accostumed to do an all-nighter or two from time to time. So it is not much of a bother if we lose some sleep at the moment. As long as you're alright, I think we'll manage just fine." He said with a mirthful wink.

Shepard acknowledged those words from his friend and adressed the girl. "But seriously Alice, what was that dream? Where those your memories? And who were those people that were shown in there?" He asked with curiosity.

The raven-haired girl looked up to him and wondered for a minute if she should answer those questions. They were pretty personal after all. Ultimately, she answered with a nod. "Yes… Those are some of the memories I have of my dear elder sister Elizabeth, of the night…" She required a moment to gather herself. "Of the night I lost her; and my time in the Asylum…"

"Oh, poor Alice. You've been through too much." Chakwas said kindly as she patted the girl in the head.

The commander was thoughtful for the moment, and then he elaborated another question. "Alice, would you mind telling us your story? We would like to know what happened to you that made you like this" He said as he motioned towards the petite girl.

Alice shrugged. "There's not much to tell. I'm an orphan, my family died…" She trailed off for a second in hesitation, wondering if she should tell them her story. She was about to decide not to, when she glanced at the Commander. So far he has been nothing but kind to her and she hasn't even told him much about herself; when she, on the contrary, has been told much about his past from his friends like Garrus and from the people that work and serve under him like Chakwas or EDI… She knew what she had to do. "Was murdered on a fire that was started on purpose; I spent ten years trying to overcome my guilt for having made it out of that conflagration alive, on an Asylum were the staff liked to physically and mentally abuse their patients. Didn't help in my recovery in the least, I believe their methods only ended up making me even more crazy. I don't remember much of that time to tell the truth, possibly because of how much they messed up with my mind. And then when I was deemed sane enough, I was sent to a home for the wayward youth where the man in charge was running a prostitution ring by erasing the minds and memories of children through hypnosis, condemning them to a life of sexual slavery. He tried to do the same to me because it turned out he was the one responsible for the fire that killed my family in an attempt to erase all evidence of the fact that he raped and murdered my older sister in the middle of the night. I confronted him, he spilled his guts. Was very proud of his attempts to make me lose my mind; tarnishing the image that society had of me. Saying that no one would believe in the word of an insane little girl over a respectable member of society…" She smiled evilly. "He never counted in me, pushing him in front of that train."

When she finished speaking her story, her audience had a look of sheer horror plastered on their faces. Shepard was both mortified and outright pissed off. What kind of monster would do that to children? He felt like wanting to go on a rampage and start shooting something right now. This is the kind of shits he fought to stand against during the Blitz; it went against all of the morals, principles and values teached to him during his formation years by his parents. As the latest descendant in line of a family with a long and prestigious career in the military, it was demanded of him to always hold himself to a higher standard. Which by the way is the reason he tends to flip his lid when faced with injustices like this, which is good, as it allows him to not hesitate in the least when its time to put a bullet in the head of someone who deserves it. Paragon of justice or not, he does not shirk from getting his hands dirty when the need arise.

As it is, he had to breathe deeply for a few seconds in order to calm himself down. Didn't kept his companions from noticing how the word murder was written all over his face, they did the smart thing and decided not to comment on it. Alice didn't notice anything of this as she was still too lost in herown remembrance.

The commander continued his inquiry. "So, I must assume that the man responsible for the murder of your family is dead, killed by your own hand?" He said a little strained, his temper still not completely simmered.

Alice became wary of Shepard's obvious tension, believing he did not aprove of her actions, something she clearly was dreading as she didn't wanted to face the disaproval and rejection of someone he was starting to respect and look up to. She shrinked in shoulders and demurely replied. "Yes…"

"Good!" Was the harsh and immediate answer from the Commander. "If you hadn't killed him, I would have tracked him down and put a bullet between his eyes myself…" Alice couldn't help but smile at that answer, internally glad that Shepard approved. The Spectre proceeded with his inquiry. "So, what happenend next? I assume you had to find a new place to live after killing that man."

Alice shook her head sideways in a negative. "No… I decided to stay for a while in that home, despite the place holding too many bad memories for me, to try to help and look over the children he hurt… Couldn't simply leave them alone and abandon them despite how much they mocked me and belited me. They had been under Bumby's orders after all, and he had broken their minds completely. Not like me, who never stopped fighting despite how many hypnotism sessions he tried… I put my old Nan in charge of the place, and for a time we were happy…" She then turned her gaze away, and looked to a side absentmindly, lost in her thoughts. "It wasn't meant to last however, things got bad for me and I was forced to run away. I was then captured and sent back to the Asylum, that's when all of you went to my rescue and help me to escape… And now I'm here." She finished her story with a tired sigh.

"Yes… and we are glad to have you with us." Shepard replied with a smile as he ruffled the girl's hair.

"Yes, yes… All is damn rainbows and bloody sunshines, but that doesn't solve the issue of how we're going to be able to sleep from now on without having the little missy pushing her bad dreams into our heads." Zaeed said grumpily. He took notice of how Alice's mood deflated again at his words. "Sorry sweetheart, I really feel sorry for you for what you had to go through, but I'm pragmatic enough to know that is not a good idea for having this sort of ocurrences happening every night. It will soon affect the effectiveness of this team on the field, and when you're down in the frontlines, a single mistake can mean death." He said as he tossed a serious look at the girl.

"I believe I have an answer for that little problem." Chakwas said as she stood up and headed towards one of the cabinets with medical supplies. She rummaged through the different items for a few moments before returning with a case of pills in her hand. "Here Alice, take a look."

"What is that?" Asked the raven-haired girl as she looked at the case with a little suspicion, it is not as if she distrusted of Chakwas, but the years in the Asylum have made her weary towards any kind of strange medicine.

"These are some narcotics that will allow you to have a placid dreamless sleep. No danger of you having another nightmare and unconciously dragging the rest of the crew with you if you do not dream in the first place." She said kindly as she displayed the small pill case in front of the girl.

Alice frowned at the explanation. "So am I to take drugs and forsake my ability to dream just to avoid the possibility that I might have a nightmare? It's not even a sure thing that I will have a repeat of this experience any time soon." She said, getting her danders up a little.

Chakwas sighed. "No Alice, I'm not going to force you to take any medicine against your will if you don't want to. I'm just showing you the options we have to deal with this matter. I too seriously doubt you're about to have another nightmare so soon after suffering one. But better to have these pills at hand just in case…" She smiled and then grabbed the girl by one of her hands and set the pillow case on her palm gently. "Here, I'll leave it to your discretion when would be an appropiate time to take one of these pills."

Alice was taken aback by that action, her surprise clearly shown on her face. "You're going to leave it up to me to decide when to ingest my own medicines? You're not going to even leave me a recipe?" She stared dumbfounded at the pill case on her hand for a moment. "I don't know whether to feel honored that you have such confidence on me being able to take care of myself or think you're been awfully irresponsible as a doctor!? Either way, I've never found myself in this kind of situation before." She said, looking up at Chakwas with an expression that could be described as awed.

Chakwas just smiled as she set her hand over Alice's own and closed it over the small pill's case. "Part of my doctor's oath to help in the healing of a patient the best way I can, and you need to heal more than just simple ailments of the body… Anyway, it's not like I'm leaving you without any kind of instructions on the proper dose of this medicine or anything. One pill per night is more than enough to give you an undisturbed time of sleep, make sure to take it when you're feeling restless or troubled to avoid anymore incidents like this."

The senior medical officer patted the girl on the head before standing back to her full height. "Anyway, I think is time to get back to bed already, don't you think?" She turned to look at the commander and the others. "And that goes for the lot of you too… a proper amount of good sleep is required for the body to function in optimal conditions. So get to it, doctor's orders…" She moved to adress her fellow doctors next. "C'mon Kelly, Doctor Solus, let's leave Alice to her rest…"

"Agreed. Have to go through the readings and notes we got from her anyway. Must finish study on the collector swarms first. Real close to make breaktrought in how to shield team against paralizing effects. Have to go back to work…" Mordin mumbled at fast pace as he checked over his notes and walked towards the airlock with a spring on his steps. Kelly just nodded at Chakwa's words and went on her way, not before first approaching Shepard.

"I need to have a word with you about Alice, Commander. Let's speak outside in the mess hall." She said succintly before moving on.

The people inside the med-bay began to leave one by one. Shepard gave one last look to Alice and said. "Hang in there kid." He then turned towards Chakwas and gave her a nod before turning and walking out the room. The queen of hearts unrooted herself from her spot in the corner and began to wordlessly trail after Shepard, not bothering to give a single glance to anybody that would take her attention away from her target.

As Alice and Chakwas became the only ones left in the Med-bay, the elder woman offered a kind smiled and tucked the younger girl once more into before giving her a kiss in the forehead. "Good night, Alice." She said before turning the lights off and closing the window's shutters, leaving the room in darkness again. Chakwas the walked out of the room, the airlock closing behind her and locking shut, the light of the interface hovering in front of the airlock changing from vibrant green to frowning red.

For a time Alice simply remained there unable to sleep, thinking about Chakwas' actions and words; and about the rest of the team too. The Commander and the others, the way they had treated her so far, and of the troubles she had unwillingly brought to them. She lifted the hand where she held the pill case given to her by Chakwas and left it hovering in front of her gaze for several long moments. Finally, coming to a decision, she opened the case and popped a single pill into her mouth.

…

Outside in the mess hall, the commander conferred with his medical experts, Miranda as the Normandy's XO was also there getting involved in the matter. "So Kelly, what's your diagnosis on Alice?" Shepard said without preamble, cutting straight to the heart of the issue.

"Well, she's obviously traumatized by the horrors she has experienced and has developed a great distrust towards other people. Especially medical practitioners like doctors, though she seems to hold a particular loathing towards psychologists. You should have seen the way she reacted when I introduced myself to her; she grew incredibly flustered and tried to withdrawn from her surroundings. Luckily, Chakwas and Mordin where there and were able to snap her out of her trance since it seems she likes them well enough despite both of them being doctors, probably because of the kind way they been treating her so far. Note that despite that, she doesn't react well to other people trying to have a physical contact with her; she clearly doesn't like being touched. It is my belief she must have great problems towards the notion of getting intimate with another human being." The red-headed perky woman explained all serious and business like.

Shepard mulled on that information for a moment, taking a hand to his chin. "So, what would you suggest we do to treat her traumas, or at the very least make sure she doesn't flip?" He asked with great interest, knowing that having an unstable individual could put the entire team in danger and compromise their effectiveness in the field.

Kelly had to give some thought on that for a few seconds before coming up with an answer. "Well so far I believe you've been doing a good enough job on your own, just continue treating her the same way you have Commander and try not to force her into doing anything she has qualms about. She's going to need a lot of emotional support in order to get over most of the issues that plague her. That said, there's also the matter of her living arrangements."

That last part piqued Shepard's interest. "Why? What does the place where she may sleep has to do with her emotional problems?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Actually, a lot commander." Kelly replied. "Her issues towards strangers make it really hard for her to socialize with others, so I believe that being surrounded by people that she doesn't know will be a terrible idea. I advise you not to bunk her inside the crew quarters for that reason, it is best if she were to have a place to call her own. Also I wouldn't recommend her using the sleep pods either, since that equipment can be pretty isolating and claustrophobic for first timers and she clearly has shown a great displeasure for confined places due to her stay in that Asylum."

"Then where should I put her if I can't let her bunk in any of those two places? We don't have many options here in the Normandy that can serve as sleeping arrangements." The commander said, crossing his arms.

Kelly looked pensive for a moment. "Mmmmph… I don't know, maybe we can let her stay in one of the observation decks? Anyway, no matter where you decide to put her, someone will have to stay with her and look over her in order to make sure she acclimatizes well into our society."

Shepard blinked at that statement. "You mean a babysitter? I'm not really sure that's a great idea. I mean I like Alice and I do worry about the kid, but I cannot spare anyone from the crew away from their duties to keep an eye on her. We just simply don't have enough manpower to afford such measures." He said with regret.

Everybody remained silent for a few moments as they thought in a way to solve this problem, when Miranda stepped up with a solution. "I'll take care of watching over Alice commander, she can stay with me in my quarters here on this level." She said as she indicated towards the airlock that led to her room.

The commander was surprised by his XO's offer, but he couldn't help thinking that maybe she had other reasons for being this nice. "No offense Miranda, but why would you accept to become Alice's guardian during her whole stay on this ship. I was of the mind you didn't like her very much."

"I never said I didn't liked her Commander, it's just that I understand how dangerous can she be if we leave her running around without supervision. I had expected our little visit to the Citadel to have taught you that much Shepard." The raven haired woman said crisply without missing a beat.

The Commander couldn't hide his wince at that remark; he knew that Miranda had a point about that. "Yeah… Sorry if I seem a bit suspicious Miranda. It's not as if I don't want to trust you personally, but it's really hard for me to believe in the words of someone who works for Cerberus." Miranda was about to retort, but Shepard brought a hand up to signal to let him continue. "Try to understand with my point of view Miranda. Despite having rebuild my body and bringing me back to life, that doesn't erase the fact that I've had less than stelar run-ins with Cerberus in the past and that is something that has really soured my opinion of them. I don't particularly have an issue with you; it's just the organization you work for that I have trouble with."

Miranda stared long and hard at the Commander without saying a single word. Eventually she relented and let out a tired sigh. "I understand Commander, I'll admit we have done many mistakes in the past, but believe when I tell you that Cerberus is taking steps to change the unsavory image that the galaxy has of us. For what it's worth Shepard, I do not have any hidden motive for wanting to be Alice guardian, nor had I been ordered by the illusive man to do so." She explained affably.

"Then what is your reason then?" Shepard simply asked, crossing his arms.

Miranda began to rub her right arm in akwardness; she hesitated for a moment before answering. "Shepard… I think I mentioned you before that I have a sister… She's around Alice's age. Well actually, she's a few couple of years younger that Alice, but with the condition her body is in she actually looks younger than my sister… Anyway, let's just say that I know first hand what it feels to agonize over the sake of a sibling…" She said quietly and measureadly, falling silent after finishing with her explanation.

Shepard just remained looking at her stoically without saying anything, remembering what Alice's memories had shown. He offered a slight tilt of his head forward as a nod. "I believe you Miranda... Well then, with the matter solved I suppose we can all go back to our quarters, we should all get the all rest we can before the upcoming mission." He turned to adress Kelly directly. "I'm going to need a full report of your diagnosis on Alice by the time we come back from horizon." He said before walking away from the two women. The child-like form of the queen of hearts disentangled itself from the spot she had taken to observe him and the entire mess hall, and began to shadow him again.

Commander Shepard couldn't resist the temptation to sigh and turned to confront his tiny stalker. "Seriously…!?"

Ok that's it for now, you know the drill already. Leave a review, tell me your thoughts and I will reply whenever I can.