Author's Note: My first Rookie Blue story. Not betaed—all mistakes are mine. Please inform me if you find anything I ought to be mortified about. Constructive criticism is welcome.

Whatever

Oliver shoved open the door to the Penny and scanned the bar. Spotting his object, he sank onto the stool next to him.

"Rough day, eh, Sammy?" He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced sidelong at his friend.

Staring at his drink, Sam nodded slowly.

Oliver pursed his lips and hailed the bartender for a beer and a plate of fries. "It was hard to be out there when she was trapped inside, huh?"

Sam took a moment to comprehend what he was speaking of. "Of course it was, she's my partner."

"Uh-huh," Oliver grunted through a mouthful of french fries. "So did you talk to her?"

A furrow appeared in Sam's brow. "You said that before. About what?"

"What you won't talk to me or anyone else about."

Sam leaned his elbow on the bar and scowled at him. "And what do you think that is?"

The door to the bar opened and Andy walked in, hesitating in the entryway as if looking for someone. Sam's eyes lit up for a split second before he suddenly averted his eyes and took great interest in his beer again.

"I would have thought McNally would be at the hospital," Oliver said, watching his friend closely.

Sam shook his head. "Visiting hours must be over."

"Hmm."

The rookie table had flagged Andy, and she started to make her way over to them.

Oliver's hand shot over his head as she passed. "McNally!" He waggled a finger at her when she stopped in her tracks. "Save my seat while I go to the little boys' room, will ya?" He spun off the stool and shoved her toward it in one fluid motion.

"Yes, sir," Andy said and sat down next to her partner. She frowned at Oliver as he reached over her shoulder and grabbed his plate of fries. "Bathroom?" she called after him as he walked in the wrong direction, but he raised his dish in the air over the crowd triumphantly and didn't look back.

"He's not coming back," said the man beside her. Sam was staring down into his beer as if he wanted to drown himself in it. A moment later, he blew out a sharp breath and flashed his dimples at her. "Hey, McNally."

"Hey."

Sam said nothing further. He looked back at his drink and took a swig.

Andy shrugged. "So…did you want to talk to me about something?"

Sam fingered his glass. "Shaw says I do."

"But you don't?"

He sighed and signalled to the bartender for a shot. "If I do, I gotta have another one of these first." He glanced at her; her eyebrows were raised, and a muscle twitched in his cheek. "Or maybe two." He nodded to the bartender and held up three fingers. "Three!"

"Sam." Andy touched his arm and shook her head at the bartender after he'd placed the first and second shots in front of them, denying Sam the third.

Sam downed the two shots in quick succession, slapped a bill on the counter, and said, "Let's take a walk, McNally."

She swallowed and followed him out the back door into the alleyway behind the Penny. Sam stopped in the middle of the lane and tilted his head back, staring up at the stars.

Behind him, Andy shifted her feet restlessly. "Sam?"

He turned to her, slowly, and let his eyes peruse her face, then stepped forward and reached up to stroke her cheek with his thumb.

"Sam!" she mumbled.

"Andy. I'm sorry, but I can't be at your wedding—I'm getting in with Guns & Gangs again."

"What?" Her lower lip quivered. "But we haven't even set a date yet, how do you know you won't be free?"

"Because I don't want to be." He had met her gaze as he said it, but then his eyes dropped and he turned away.

"Sam," she said shakily. "Why?"

He had turned away from her again, and she moved up behind him and put her arms around his waist, resting her cheek on the back of his shoulder.

"You said you would be there when it matters."

His abdominals stiffened at her touch. "You don't need me there," he finally said. "You're going to be just fine on your own. You're going to walk down that aisle, looking more beautiful than you do right now, and you're going to say 'I do' to—" his breath hitched "—Callaghan, and then you'll kiss and run off, have all the babies and grow old together. And I'll be out there, somewhere, smiling to myself because I know that you're happy, and that's all that's important."

"Sam!" she said, her voice breaking.

"Andy, you don't need me to be the guy who stands up when the minister says 'speak now or forever hold your peace.' Because I will—I don't think I could stop myself."

"But what if I want you to?"

Her words were so quiet he almost couldn't be sure he'd heard them—but her tears on the back of his neck were real, and he slowly disengaged her arms, turning to face her. She had that determined set to her chin, and he wiped the moisture from beneath her eyes with his thumb.

He searched her eyes. "Are you…sure?"

"Yeah. Yeah," she nodded.

"I meant it when I said I can't imagine my life without you in it."

"I know, Sam," she was nodding furiously now, "I know."

He let his eyes drift over her face and brushed a strand of hair out of the way, waiting for her to speak.

She swallowed, and did. "Sam, I want you."

He said nothing, but continued to caress her face with his eyes.

Trembling, she continued. "I thought Luke was the 'right' choice. That I was safe with him. But it's you I feel safe with—and it's him that's not safe with me. He makes me smile, but you make me laugh. And I can't fake it anymore."

"Okay, then." Sam began to lean toward her, a little smile playing at the corners of his lips. Their lips met, warm and sweet and full of promise, and then she pulled away.

"Um…" She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and gave him a wavering smile. "I think I need to go talk to Luke…first…"

He took a step back. "Yeah. Right. I guess I'll…see you tomorrow."

Their hands were still joined, and they stood there a moment, gazing into each other's eyes.

"Okay," she finally said, pressed his hand, and turned to go. "Wait—what about Guns & Gangs?"

Sam sniffed. "Gimme a break, McNally. I'd only made the decision to go the minute I stepped into the alley." He grinned. "Maybe I blow them off for good this time—tell them my former rookie can't live without my jokes."

"Hah," Andy said with a twist of her lips. "Well…maybe…you're right."

She winked at him, and he watched her walk away, shaking his head. Before she left the alley, she turned and smiled at him. He returned the gesture, then swaggered back into the Penny and reclaimed his stool.

Oliver had also returned to his seat at the bar, and was nursing another bottle of beer. "So…" He scratched his ear. "You and McNally have a nice chat?"

"Um…sure," Sam pursed his lips.

"About what?"

He shrugged and propped his chin up with his hand. "I don't know…whatever."